Brighter

by Rochelle Allison

  A small cheer went up, the crowd heaving in unison. Jude turned to face me, hands resting on my thighs. I pushed his hair from his forehead; we were both a little sweaty. I'd missed him so much. How did people do this? How did they bear it? I felt so needy inside, like every drink of him left me thirstier.

  “Ten! Nine! Eight...”

  Eyes locked, we smiled at each other. His hands slid around my waist, tugging me closer.

  “...one! Happy New Year!” Larsen’s erupted in merriment, confetti, and noise makers.

  Tilting toward each other, we kissed. I tightened my legs around him, holding him as close as I could, giving him back all that he gave me until we were full on, tacky, making out in the middle of everything.

  But then reality brought us back, in the form of freezing, cold liquid. I broke away from Jude's mouth with a soft gasp, arching away from the champagne Bodhi was spritzing all over the bar, grinning gleefully as people shrieked and shoved. I kissed a drop off Jude's cheek and let him help me down off the bar, which was slippery and gross now. I'd just slipped my flip flops back on when the first firework erupted, showering the night in technicolor. They came rapidly after that, sparkling over the harbor, shot from a boat anchored further out.

  Auld Lang Syne came on as we joined our friends on the boardwalk, and we sang along, silly with laughter.

  ~

  “Every year?”

  “Every year.” Jude turned off the main road, angling the Jeep up the dark, winding path that would bring us home. “Until that idiot built a house there.”

  Jude was lamenting the loss of New Year’s at Grassy Point, the rocky little peninsula where countless generations of Crucians had watched the first sunrise of the year.

  “I’m surprised it wasn’t protected land.”

  “Yeah. It felt like everyone’s, you know? It was a good surf spot, too, the waves real crazy. Would’ve ripped you up if you hit the rocks.” He sighed, glancing at me. “But up high, looking at the water? The sun coming up, all vivid against the pale sky? Yeah. Wish you could’ve seen that.”

  “Me too.” I nodded slowly. “Did you ever miss a year?”

  “Not really. Once I passed out in the back of Eli's car.” He smirked. “Guess I missed it that year.”

  I smiled, imagining. Jude certainly liked to enjoy himself, but he seemed to have outgrown his party animal days...which was funny, considering he was a bartender. I wondered what he'd been like back in the day, drunk and stupid with his teenage friends. I probably would've had a crush on him back then, too.

  “What do you guys usually do?” he asked. “In Miami?”

  “Same thing you guys do here.” I shrugged. “Bars…house parties when we were younger.”

  “You know, you’ve seen all my pictures and stuff, but I have no idea what you looked like when you were younger. I bet you were cute.” He pulled up to a stop, and I glanced up, heart thumping in acknowledgement of his home. I’d missed that, too.

  “Depends on how young. I was kinda nerdy as a kid.”

  “I highly doubt that…but, actually, I was thinking of the teenage years.”

  “Eh, I wasn’t so bad by high school.”

  “Were you a good girl?” he teased, cutting the engine.

  I unbuckled my seatbelt, giving him the side-eye. “Sometimes.”

  “Careful,” he warned, fingers tickling my thighs. “Or we won’t even make it inside.”

  “That’s okay,” I murmured, resting my head against the seat. I'd had some of the champagne Miles hadn't gotten to, and it was making everything ultra-bright and sensitive, in a good way.

  “Yeah?” Leaning over, he pressed a damp kiss to my jaw, another to my throat. He pried my thighs apart, pressing his knuckles against the hottest, most private part of me.

  “Yeah,” I whispered, both arms around him now, his dark hair silk against my cheek. “You’re pretty impossible to resist.”

  The kisses paused. I felt him smile against my skin. “Why’s that?”

  “Because you're gorgeous.” I tugged him back by the hair, meeting his eyes. “And because I love you.”

  He chuffed quietly, straightening up. “How am I supposed to ravish you when you get all sweet?”

  Opening the door, I grabbed my backpack and got out. “I don’t know. But you’d better figure it out.”

  I’d taken two steps when I stopped cold, gaping at the rental car parked in the shadows. Of course. Jude’s parents—how had I forgotten? He slipped my bag from my shoulders and threw it over his own.

  “What’s up?”

  “I forgot your parents were here!” I said, pointing.

  “Yeah, so?” His hand enveloped mine. “Haven’t you been wanting to meet them? Here’s your chance.”

  “Right now?” I stopped again, looking down at the sorry state of my wrinkled, sweaty, champagne-stained dress. “Let me at least put my shoes on…”

  His laugh echoed across the cobblestone driveway. “I meant tomorrow.”

  “They won’t mind that I’m here?”

  “This is my house now.” We paused at the door as he fitted the key into the lock. “You’re my guest. And as much as I love my parents, they’re guests now too.” He glanced at me, tugging me inside.

  I loved his words, but I still felt self-conscious. I hadn’t worried about sneaking into a dark house in ages…but it was all for naught, because the house was quiet. We moved through the foyer and then the hall, hands tangled, into Jude’s room.

  “Reminds me of high school,” I said, easing the door shut.

  “Yeah?” He kicked his sneakers off. “Did you sneak around a lot?”

  “Didn’t you?”

  “Yeah, but we had dogs back then. I couldn’t bring anyone home without there being a racket, so I didn’t bother.”

  Standing on tiptoe, I pushed the hair from his eyes. “You telling me I’m the first girl you’ve ever sneaked into your room, Jude?”

  “That would be a yes.”

  ~

  “Circle, dot, now you've found my cootie spot.” I giggled. Delirious with sleepiness, we’d gotten sidetracked and now we were on his bed, an empty bottle of champagne between us.

  He snorted, face falling to my neck. “That's not even how it goes, weirdo.”

  “Oh, I know,” I said, grinning as I reached over, sliding my hand into his pants. “But it works...”

  “Whatever you say,” he said, breath catching when I touched his dick. I crawled over him, kissing him, and he grabbed my hip. “Take a shower with me?”

  I let go, pulling my dress off. “Just a shower?”

  His mouth quirked into a smile. “If that’s all you want.”

  Sliding off the bed, I flung my underwear aside. The night had begun to give up its darkness, fading gently as morning came. I stared up at the pale, gauzy clouds, drifting over the glass ceiling in Jude’s shower. The water came on, startling me with its coolness, and I shrieked, trying to get away. “That was mean!”

  He laughed, grabbing me and bringing back beneath the now-warm stream. “Sorry.”

  We kissed. I slapped his arm. “No, you’re not…”

  One kiss turned into many. I let him press me against the wall, the cool tiles behind me a delicious contrast to the warmth of his skin in front. We washed and kissed and rinsed and kissed and then he wrapped my leg around his waist. Our gaze locked as he slowly slid inside.

  “This might be better than watching the sun come up,” I said, biting my lip.

  He looked up at the skylight. “Why do you think I brought you in here?”

  The sun had, in fact, risen. Rays of gold shot across the sky now, making the clouds glow. We moved quietly, reverently. Softer, sweeter than times before. When I could no longer look in to his eyes, I closed mine, shuddering in bliss when he kissed my neck. “I love when you're inside me,” I whispered.

  “I love it, too.” He jerked against me and then stilled, panting.

  I kissed the dimples in his cheeks, t
he drops of water clinging to his eyelashes, holding him as we came undone beneath the sky.

  ~

  We slept the first day of the year away, lazing around Jude’s bed until late afternoon. I was half-awake when he slipped out the door, closing it quietly. Soft voices floated from the courtyard, and I yawned, rolling over to stare at my favorite view: the window behind Jude’s bed, framed by banana leaves. The wild undergrowth and gentle hills, a vivid strip of sapphire, where the ocean met the sky.

  “You’re up.”

  I yawned. “Your parents must think we’re bums.”

  He scoffed. “Ey, we take the holidays seriously on St. Croix. I work like a damn dog…if I want to sleep all day very occasionally, I’ll sleep all day.”

  My cheeks bloomed. “We weren’t exactly sleeping the whole time.”

  “We’re adults, Alina.”

  I pulled the blanket up until it covered half my face. “So…what did they say?”

  Chuckling, he climbed in next to me. “They wanted to know if we had plans for dinner. They’d like to take us to Harvey’s.”

  “Really?” I sat up, the blanket sagging to my waist. “What's that?”

  “Local restaurant downtown.” He touched the space between my breasts, dragging his finger down the middle until he touched my belly button. I caught his hand. “We’ve been going since I was a kid. Best Crucian food around.”

  My stomach growled, loudly. “Yum.”

  “I'll take that as a yes.”

  I pulled him down, forcing him beneath the blankets. “How much time do we have?”

  “Couple of hours.” He buried his face in my neck.

  We emerged from Jude’s shower, roughly fifteen minutes later, smelling like the pink grapefruit body scrub my mother had gifted me for Christmas. “I might have to steal this,” said Jude, sniffing his arm.

  “Don't you dare. I love that stuff.”

  “I love it, too.”

  “Then I'll have her send you some,” I said, knocking him with my hip.

  He snorted, leaving me to my beauty ritual…which was little more than doing my hair and slathering moisturizer on my face. I added a touch of makeup too, wanting to make a good impression on Jude's parents.

  A moment later he was back, dressed in jeans and a button-down. Our eyes met in the mirror, and he stared for a moment, bringing color to my cheeks. “What?” I gave him a little smile. Sometimes it was hard to believe he was mine. Harder still, that I’d allowed myself to be his.

  “You’re so pretty,” he said quietly, kissing my ear. My heart skipped a beat at his abrupt closeness, at the deepness of his voice. He reached down, tugging on the towel until my breasts were exposed. I leaned back against him, watching his fingers tickle along the swell and peak of each nipple, raising goosebumps along my skin.

  “The first time I saw you...you just— you caught me off guard. You seemed so different; it was obvious you weren't from here.” He turned me around, one hand dropping to my hip.

  Swallowing, I searched his eyes, my stomach fluttering at the affection in them. He looked at me like I was precious, like he really loved me. Seeing it so nakedly felt even more genuine, like he could give me pretty words any time, but he couldn't hide the truth in his eyes.

  “I thought you were a bus boy," I blurted, my words completely incongruent from the tenor of my thoughts. I grinned, lovesick-silly. “A really hot bus boy.”

  “I am.” He laughed, eyes crinkling at the corners. “I'm whatever I need to be there.”

  “I love how much you love Larsen’s. I kind of envy you for it.”

  “Why?” His eyes fell to my breasts.

  Smirking, I tipped his chin up and adjusted my towel before we made ourselves later than we already were. “Because you’re so young, but you’re so certain. You’re doing what you want. You’re a business owner.” I shrugged. “That’s impressive.”

  “Well, I inherited it. And my Dad helped me refinance it.” He nodded. “I’ll pay him back, though.”

  “I know you will.”

  “You’re right, though. I do love it. Even when things get slow in the summer, and money’s tight, or my responsibilities keep me tied to St. Croix, there are no regrets. That’s how I know I’ve made the right choices.”

  My heart stirred. My mom had always encouraged me to go for my dreams, to live life on my own terms—and for the longest time, I had. I could look at the rearview mirror of my life with satisfaction, knowing I’d stuck to the plan and gotten exactly what I’d wanted. But I’d come to a fork in the road. Staying the same path would likely yield the results I’d always wanted…a career doing something I believed in. Success. The resources to take care of myself, no matter what.

  But it was the other path, the wild unknown, that tempted me. If I didn’t take it, if I didn’t try, there would be another kind of regret, one I didn’t think I could live with.

  Because I didn’t want to live without Jude.

  ~

  Salomen and Amelia Larsen were nothing like I’d imagined. In my mind’s eye, he was an older version of Jude, and she was a preppy society wife.

  In reality, he was tall and gangly, the beginnings of a pot belly protruding over his khakis. Salomen wasn’t so much handsome as he was striking, his darkly tanned skin a stark contrast against his blond hair. Amelia was more of a bohemian, her handmade jewelry and penchant for essential oils reminding me of Caroline. And she was utterly beautiful. Jude had taken after her, with her glossy, dark hair and light brown eyes.

  “Mom, Dad, this is Alina.”

  “Hi,” I said, giving a shy wave. “It’s so nice to finally meet you both.”

  They smiled up at us, Salomen rising to shake my hand. “It’s a pleasure, m’dear.”

  Amelia stood then, clasping my hands between hers. “The famous Alina. Finally.” She kissed one cheek and then the other, her eyes darting between her son and me. “How do you do?”

  Laughing a little, I glanced at Jude, whose cheeks had gone ruddy. “I’m well. Thanks for letting me tag along tonight.”

  “Trust me, our reasons for including you were completely selfish...we've wanted to meet you for a while,” she said, peeking at Jude.

  Our waitress came by, pen and pad in hand. “Good evening. What can I get you all to drink?”

  I glanced at Jude, waiting to see what he'd get. He always had the inside scoop on yummy local things.

  “You have sorrel?”

  “Of course.” The lady beamed at him. "Fresh."

  “I'll have that, please.” He looked at me. “Do you want to try it?”

  “Yes, please.”

  His parents refilled their drinks, and we settled in to an easy conversation. After chatting politely about the holidays and weather, Salomen turned to Jude, asking him something about the bar. It sounded like they were going to get into numbers and things, so I was relieved when Amelia touched my arm, asking about Miami. She was easy to talk to, a good listener—I could see where Jude had gotten the charm I always teased him about.

  “You lived on St. Croix a long time.” I took a sip of my sweet, red sorrel. “Do you miss it?”

  “I do...but we have a good life in the States. I'm happy as long as I get to come down a couple of times a year.”

  “That sounds ideal,” I said.

  “Jude tells me you might move down when you’ve finished grad school?”

  My heart clenched. If he’d told her that, it meant he believed in me. In us. Nodding, I stole a glance at him. “That’s the plan.”

  “He’s told me a lot about your studies with the sea turtles.” She grinned. “Sounds like you’re a girl after my own heart.”

  “I really only zeroed in on it after working with the local groups. I’ve always wanted to work in conservation and preservation, but this was the first time I was able to spend such long amounts of time doing field work.”

  Amelia’s eyes twinkled. “Sounds like you and St. Croix were meant to be.”

  I
stared at her, wondering if it was truly the island she was talking about it. “Sounds like it.”

  ~

  Amelia had plans early the next morning, so she went to bed early. I lingered in the kitchen with Jude and Salomen, listening to the older man talk about teas as herbal remedies as he made himself a pot of lemongrass tea.

  “Used to grow it in the yard,” he said with a long-suffering sigh. “Maybe one day this one will bring it back.”