Shine On

by Jewell, Allison J.

  He was pretending to like it and somehow that was worse than Trick’s boast earlier. The rest of the meal was an eaten in an uncomfortable silence. She should have known better than to cook such a poor, country meal for four people who could have hundreds of dollars wired to their bank account anytime they wanted.

  She wasn’t bitter. She wasn’t even embarrassed. Emmie just realized for the first time how different their life was from hers.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Before the dishes had been cleared Ava’s father called to check on things. He was uneasy that she had been left behind without any of her immediate family. To him she was still a child. Once he’d gotten the all clear from Ava that everything was going fine, he asked to speak to Silas. Emmie was surprised to see that he took the call in her father’s office—he obviously wanted to be away from the others. Gabe followed behind him but Trick hung around to help clean up the dishes. From the bits of conversation that Emmie had picked up, it seemed there was something important going on with a court case. Al was depending on Silas to help close it out, since he was stuck in Chicago.

  The girls and Trick headed into the kitchen. Ava and Trick were masters at easy conversation. But their attempts to draw Emmie into their antics were met with nods, smiles, and shrugs. She wasn’t angry, just lost in her thoughts.

  It was like her eyes had been opened for the first time. The house was too grand. Their clothes had real labels. They had cars. They knew how to drive. They went to college (except Ava… she had no ambition for that and no need for the money). They had real families. They did not work in a general store. They did not wake early to can applesauce. They did not make moonshine in the hopes for a few extra bucks. They did not eat beans and cornbread.

  “Earth to Emmie,” Trick repeated. A quick scan of the room showed that Ava had left and she hadn’t even noticed.

  She smiled over at him, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. “Sorry.”

  “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. It really was good. I know you worked hard on it.” He took a step closer to her. He put a kind hand under her chin and lifted it so she was looking straight at him. “We all really appreciate it, okay? Just needed you to know that.” He tried to give her a carefree grin but came up short.

  Emmie nodded, “I know, it’s fine. It’s even okay if you don’t like it. I’m not pouting, cross my heart. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”

  Trick nodded and thought for a second. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. He wanted to be as close to her brain as possible, in hopes it would take. “Don’t think about it too much.”

  Emmie looked back at him with wide eyes. What was he talking about… how could he know her thoughts? “Excuse me?”

  He gave her his crooked grin and cocked his head to the side staring down at her. “Don’t overthink it Emmie. Whatever’s going on in your pretty head.” He touched one of her curls with his pointer finger. “Just go with it. He pining for you, ya know? Whatever is on your mind…” he took a step back, “let it go.”

  “Who’s pining for her?” Silas’s voice boomed from the doorway of the kitchen.

  Trick’s grin turned into a wide smile. His eyes were amused as he opened his mouth to speak. “You are, brother.”

  Startled, Silas’s mouth fell open for a brief second before he composed himself. “Yeah, what’s your point, Patrick?” he spit his brother’s full name. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t need you to tell her that.”

  He cleared the space between them in a few short steps. “You don’t, do you?”

  Words failed her, so she just shook her head quietly, “That’s not what I’m thinking about.”

  Trick left the room. Neither of them noticed his exit.

  “What’s on your mind?” He sat on a chair at the small table in the kitchen and pulled her into his lap. She felt her heart rate pick up. Never in her life had she ever sat in man’s lap.

  “It’s fine. I’m fine.” She smiled and hoped it was convincing.

  “Let’s not lie to one another,” he said. But as soon as the words left his mouth he felt like a hypocrite. How could he tell her that? After he’d, just days ago, rummaged through her house and contemplated taking seven hundred dollars from under her floorboard. How could he say let’s not lie after he had set the fire that torched her stepfather’s car and sat by while she believed in an accident that never happened. Silas swallowed hard.

  “Okay, I’m not fine. I don’t fit in with you… any of you really,” she answered honestly. “I’m not…” She shrugged and paused unsure what to say. She looked down at her hands and picked at her cuticles. “I have never been out of Kentucky. I haven’t been to college… and I eat beans and cornbread.”

  His brow creased deeply in-between his eyes. He rubbed his jaw trying to decide what to say next. “Em, sweetheart.” A nervous laugh escaped him. “You’ll go to college. And none of what you just said matters. You think I care what you eat?”

  Emmie stepped out of his hold, paced across the room and threw up her arms. “It’s not about what I eat… that’s just an example,” she sighed. “I’m just saying I’m not like you.”

  He laughed again. “I’m pretty sure if you were just like me, then I wouldn’t be pining for you.” His sarcasm didn’t slip past her.

  “I am not kidding. It bothers me,” she sighed. “If you run out of money, you make a call and it comes through a wire and into your bank account. Like, like…” She threw her hands up again. “Like a magic trick.” She touched her chest. “Me… I need money… I get a job, and if that’s not enough, I eat beans and cornbread until I get paid again…” She was fully aware that her argument really didn’t make much sense. Emmie was metaphorically on her soapbox now and knew she needed to step down.

  A glance in his direction showed his feathers were up. He was proud and no doubt didn’t like having his money thrown in his face… or compared to magic.

  “Emmie. I work for my money. I. Work. Hard. Day and night. Things you don’t even know.” He rubbed a hand through his hair and then continued, “Don’t put me in a box. Rest assured, if I need money wired, it’s my money. What’s this about? Do you need money? Because if you do…” He started but she cut him off.

  “No, I don’t need your money. That’s not what this is about.” She shook her head and tried to gather her thoughts. What was this discussion about? That’s when it came to her. This wasn’t about them as much as it was about her. She didn’t know who she was anymore.

  “Sorry,” she rubbed her face, “it’s just that I am working through some things. Everything is changing so quickly… too quickly. Like I can’t figure out which end is up sometimes.” Like Ronnie’s death, jobs, moonshine, engagement rings, Silas, college, money.

  “Now that,” he said, pointing his finger at her from across the room and nodding as he walked slowly over to her. “That I understand. Now, listen to me.” He touched the fabric of her dress directly above her heart. “This is what I care about.”

  He pulled her close to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. He still didn’t really understand what the outburst was about earlier, but he did know she never needed to feel less than him.

  He put a hand on each of her cheeks and pulled her face up to his. “And you’re wrong about that stuff you said earlier. It’s me that doesn’t deserve your beans and cornbread.” That was one of the most honest things he’d ever said to her.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Emmie laughed and rolled her eyes. She wasn’t sure if she was rolling her eyes at his comment or at herself. He had sent her flowers and had been so good to her today and she freaked out on him. Needless to say, she was beginning to feel a little embarrassed. Flowers. She hadn’t even mentioned the flowers he’d brought back home to her. How ungrateful.

  “Thanks again for the flowers. I loved them,” she said honestly.

  He smiled but said nothing. She waited for a few moments for him to brag or laugh about the flowers he’d
sent to Mr. Thomas but he never said a word. He wasn’t going to tell her. Should she bring it up to him?

  “Emmie I have the most exciting news. We are going to have a HUGE celebration. But we have so much work to do between now and then… You must help me,” Ava shouted as she danced into the kitchen. Gabe was close on her heels.

  Oh my God. He had done it. He had proposed to her. Emmie didn’t even think he’d had time to get the ring but he must have. She smiled and grabbed Ava’s left hand. Gabe appeared in her peripheral vision shaking his head no, he may have been silent but he was very animated.

  Emmie recovered. She shook Ava’s hand and danced with her. “A celebration,” she exclaimed. Ava was so excited that she never noticed her friend’s mistake.

  “Yes, we are going to an early Halloween party. And get this—we will wear costumes. Emmie, will you make them for us? Please, please?” she begged her friend.

  “Sure, of course,” Emmie nodded. Us, where in the world was Emmie going to find money to buy fabric for a Halloween costume?

  Ava pulled Emmie into the living room and shared all of the details about the upcoming celebration. Apparently Ava had spoken with her mother after Silas got off the phone. October thirty-first was on a Friday this year and they were going to meet in some hotel in Louisville for the elaborate party. Women would wear costumes and Ava’s parents had rented a block of hotel rooms for a couple nights and they insisted she bring Emmie.

  She kept her thoughts to herself, but weren’t these people supposed to be taking care of some poor dying relative? How could they be stopping to plan an elaborate celebration? Emmie carefully worded the question to Ava. She looked puzzled and shrugged her shoulders. It was Gabe who answered with an annoyed look at Emmie. He blurted out that Al thought Ava’s mom needed a reason to celebrate because she had been working so hard to take care of her sick uncle. With a pointed look in her direction he said, “You’ve been through a lot too. We could all use a reason to celebrate.” He tried to add an easy smile but something in his eyes looked anxious.

  Ava nodded and agreed, accepting his quick answer. Something about his look told Emmie there was more to the story than just a need for a night of fun but she let it go. She’d be lying if she said she wouldn’t enjoy having something like this to look forward to. Emmie hadn’t been north of Smith’s Grove in years. She would work out the costume one way or another. Goodness knows she still had enough of her mama’s old sewing supplies around the house.

  Later that night, Silas insisted on driving her home. Emmie supposed it was because he’d grown up in a big city and had an irrational fear of late-night walks. She didn’t argue with him this time. Just hugged her friends goodbye and walked to the car. Spotty followed closely behind her, wagging his tail.

  “Nope,” Silas said, looking at the dog, “you’re walking.”

  “Oh, come on,” Emmie laughed. “He’d love it.”

  Silas sighed and opened the door for her and the dog, muttering something under his breath. She was pretty sure she heard a swear word. The dog settled into the back seat, his face pressed against the window.

  Silas always held the door open for her. She realized that she had never seen Ronnie hold the door for her mama. Such a simple gesture but it made her feel like a somebody. The thought struck her out of nowhere. She was sad her Ma had never had that.

  “You ever been to a Halloween party?” Silas asked, lighting a cigarette. She liked the easy conversation.

  “No, I don’t guess I have. Not any with costumes or anything. You?” she wondered.

  He shrugged, “A few.”

  “You’re going to this one, right?” she asked.

  “You think I’m going to let you go to a party in a hotel with our family alone?” he laughed, “Besides, they want everyone there.”

  They, who are they? His tone made her feel the same strangeness she’d felt earlier about this impromptu shindig. “Who is everyone? Will your family be there?”

  “Yeah. You’ll meet the whole McDowell clan.” His face looked unsure also.

  That made her heart skip. She realized that she knew absolutely nothing about his family.

  “I hadn’t thought about that. Now, your dad is Ava’s uncle… Molly’s brother?” she asked, questioning what she thought was true.

  Silas nodded, taking a draw from his cigarette. “Michael, Mum is Ann-Claire, me, Patrick, or Trick as you know him, and Jem.”

  “Jem?” she asked. She’d never heard of another brother.

  “Jem,” he nodded.

  “I didn’t know about Jem,” Emmie repeated.

  He nodded again. “Much younger. Still in school.”

  School like college or school like really young? Why was he not telling her about his family?

  They pulled up to her house and he helped her out of the car then walked her to the door. She was surprised when he walked all the way in and looked around the house.

  “Silas? What are you doing?” She couldn’t help but laugh.

  When it met his inspection he walked back to the front door where she was standing. “I just don’t like you all the way out here alone.

  She laughed and grabbed his hand. “I’m fine.”

  “Yeah, I know you think you are. I just wish you’d reconsider,” he said.

  “Thank you again for my flowers…” It was on the tip of her tongue to bring up again about Mr. Thomas’s but she thought better of it. She really wasn’t sure what she’d say anyway.

  He smiled. His eyes softened. “I’m glad you liked them.” He brushed his hand through her hair. They stood there like that for while. It may have been moments or hours. She couldn’t tell. Time seemed to play tricks on her in moments like this.

  He shook his head and brushed a kiss on her temple. “Emmie I’ve got a lot of work to do for Uncle Al at the firm. We’re wrapping up an important case this Friday and there’s a couple of things he needs me to take care of, so…” He shrugged his shoulder like he was having a hard time finding the words. “I’m going to busy the next week or so. I probably won’t have much time for…” He didn’t finish.

  She could assume that sentence could be finished with a “you.” He probably wouldn’t have much time for her. Emmie nodded, accepting his words. She was surprised to feel a little sting. He seemed to run hot or cold with her and she didn’t really know why.

  “That’s fine,” she said because there was nothing else she could say.

  He nodded, “Lock up, okay?”

  She nodded.

  ***********

  The next few days time seemed to tick by slowly. She tutored Max and that provided a much-needed break to the monotony of the home-work-home routine. She was disappointed that Walter didn’t meet Max and her in town at the end session like he usually did. She bet he hadn’t yet worked out a way to get rid of her apple pie ’shine and didn’t have the heart to face her yet.

  Ava had called her nearly every night to share some new costume idea. With each phone call her ideas seemed to get a bit more bizarre—last night she said they should dress as their favorite holiday. Ava had actually suggested that she may wear nothing but a gown covered in hearts to dress as St. Valentine’s Day. Thank goodness Emmie told her about a few new Halloween patterns that had just arrived at the shop. Ava soon agreed they could brainstorm some alternatives together.

  At work the next day Emmie was lucky. A package arrived for Mr. Thomas that he was positively giddy about. He practically skipped to the office and locked himself away in privacy. Emmie peeked her head in to let him know she was headed to lunch. He actually put his arm over a small black box to keep it from her view.

  “Emmie, you have worked so hard today.” His too easy smile made her wonder what he was up to. “Please feel free to take an extra ten minutes.”

  Well, that was weird. She knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth… especially when the gift horse was Mr. Thomas. So, she left as quickly as possible without any other questions.

>   Emmie walked across College Street and found Ava already sitting on the park bench facing the fountain. She was surprised to see that Ava had a brown bag and two bottles of Coke. She hadn’t really expected her to remember the actual food part to their meeting for lunch.

  Ava passed Emmie the soda and half a sandwich as soon as she sat down. “Eat up. I know the old coot doesn’t give you much time,” she gave a look of annoyance as she spoke.

  “He actually gave me ten extra minutes. He is elated with some black box that came in the mail,” Emmie shrugged.

  “What an odd bird.” Ava shook her head. “Enough about him. Where are the patterns?” she smiled.

  Emmie pulled the envelope out of her purse. There were five illustrations on the front, girls with flapper-style Halloween costumes: witch, bat, pumpkin, spider, ghost.

  Ava took the pattern envelope and studied it closely. “Hmm… this will be perfect for you,” she said, pointing to the witch, “and this will be perfect for me.” She pointed to the pumpkin dress with a full jack-o-lantern skirt and tight bodice.

  “When can we start?” she asked with a toothy smile.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Emmie laughed at Ava’s impatience. However, the truth was, she actually welcomed the project. It would be good to have something to do with her nights. She found it harder and harder to find sleep these days and it would be a great distraction from everything on her mind.

  She swallowed a gulp of her Coke. “I can start as soon as we get the fabric. Do you want the bodice this tight and the skirt to flow out like a ballerina?” Emmie wondered aloud, touching the simple illustration on the cover of the pamphlet envelope.

  “Yes, do you like it?” Ava asked excited.