Sweetness

by S Gonzalez

  As I walk up to the area I focus on where I am stepping in the darkness. I can hear crickets and smell the crisp fall air; I even get a whiff of a wood burning fire in the distance. As I reach the jungle gym I feel as if I am not alone. I continue to feel uneasy as my eyes dart back and forth until I finally catch a glimpse of Glen watching me as he sits on the platform of the play structure with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his lap.

  “To what do I owe the honor of her royal highnesses presence this fine evening.” Glen slurred out his words as he took another swig from the bottle that was half empty.

  “Glen. You scared me. I didn’t realize anyone else was out here. They’re fighting again,” I gesture with my thumb pointing toward the main house, “-and I needed to get out of there. I couldn’t listen to that shit anymore.”

  “Oh, pooooor, poor, Princess.” Glen slurs in a way that makes me cringe. It was at that very moment I am highly aware we are alone. Glen has always hated me, hell the feeling is mutual. Being alone with him makes my skin crawl. “How’s about a drink? Oh, I forgot. Her majesty wouldn’t dare. Daddy wouldn’t approve,” he says then covers his chest in pretend shock.

  “Fuck you Glen!” I shout and turn to leave. I take a few steps back toward the house needing to put distance between us.

  “Is that an invitation?“ He yells back, as he uncrosses his legs so they dangled off the structure. I can see him smirking from my peripheral vision. Even in the darkness of night, I can see his eyes twinkle with mischief.

  Enough is enough! I am tired of him and his crap. Its one thing I have to deal with one drunken asshole. I’ll be damned if I am going to take Glen’s shit too.

  “Are you kidding me?” I huff. I turn back toward Glen and watch him stagger to his feet as he hops down off the structure. “You’re a drunk and a loser just like your asshole father. Do you think any respectable girl would ever let you touch her? Most of all me!” I can feel my face getting hot and although it’s dark I can see Glen’s face filling with rage.

  ‘Don’t back down! Don’t back down!’ Is the mantra going through my head as Glen slowly approaches. ‘Don’t back down! Don’t back down!’

  I am tired of Glen and Holly’s bullshit. They are so damn mean to me all the time. They both called me Princess because my father is wealthy and he makes sure Mark and I have the best of everything. Glen is so close now that I can feel his alcohol-laced breath on my face.

  Don’t back down! Don’t back down!

  “You think you’re better then me? You think you and your whore mother are better than my family?” Glen is now laughing in a way that is completely unnerving. “You and your whore mother are not better then us, it was her that came after my father because your father wouldn’t give a slut like her the time of day anymore. It was your mother that ruined MY family, not the other way around. My family was fine and happy until your mother came sniffing around the shop like a bitch in heat, flashing her money around.”

  I can feel the anger burning in my stomach. I know Glen’s right about my mother pursuing Paul because my father was working more and more and spent a lot of time in the city. Fuck that, I don’t care! The Masers pushed me around long enough and I’m not going to let him talk about his family like they are perfect. The Masers are FAR from perfect in my book.

  “Fine and happy?! Ha. If your mother were so perfect then your loser father wouldn’t have left her. If she was any kind of a mother at all she would have raised you and your bitch of a sister instead of killing herself to get away from the three of you.” The words slid out of my mouth without me thinking at all. I knew as soon as I said them I was in trouble.

  Glen blanches at my words and takes a step back as if I’ve slapped him. I take a few more small steps back as I watch d him process my words. I can see the look of shock leaving his face, as he stands up straighter, glaring down his nose at me. Glen is pissed, beyond pissed. I could swear by the light of the moon his eyes change to the color red, just like the devil himself. His jaw clenches and his angry eyes bore into mine while I take a few more small steps back. In a moment of selfpreservation I turned on a dime and take off toward the house. I don’t make it but a few feet before Glen catches me with one hand around my waist and the other hand covering my mouth, preventing me from screaming for help. He is stronger and taller than me so as he stands and pulls me backward, he lifts me inches off the ground. I can do nothing but kick him and nip his fingers with my teeth, hoping he will let me go. My heart is racing and I can’t even imagine what he is going to do to me.

  “Where ya’ going Princess. The party’s not over yet. “ Glen grits in my ear. “You wanna’ hurt me? Na, no…if you wanna’ hurt me, then I will hurt you right back. I’ll hurt you and treat you like the cunt you are.”

  Glen drags me back to where he was sitting before and throws me up onto the platform. I try and slide back to get away but in one swift movement he is next to me and catches me by the ankle. I’m shaking, scared to death of him. I have never been so scared in my entire life and Glen not only knows it but he is smiling and taking great pleasure in making me feel this way. Glen pulls me down and puts his body weight on top of mine pressing me into the unforgiving plastic beneath me.

  “Ut, ut, uh, Princess. Don’t run from me, it wouldn’t be wise.” A disturbing smile plays on his lips. “Tit for tat, Emma. You hurt me and now I am now going to hurt you. Perhaps next time you speak to me you’ll be much nicer.”

  His words are bitterly spoken into my ear as his hand is again covering my mouth, only this time I’m frozen. I can’t move. My whole body’s tense. I smell the whiskey on his breath. My eyes are open so wide, from fear they feel as if they are going to pop out of my skull. As I pray that divine intervention will step in to help, it occurs to me that if I can’t hear the screaming from the house than they won’t be able to hear me either. Fuck! There is nothing or no one that is going to help me.

  While darting my eyes around the darkness to figure out how I can get away, I am suddenly aware that Glen is now fumbling with the string to my sweatpants, trying to loosen it. Oh God, NO! Not this. Please God, make him stop. I feel the waistband loosen. He grabs my pants at the apex of my thighs from the outside and tugs them down around my knees. He catches the top of my pants with his foot and kicks them down so they slide down my legs and onto the ground below.

  Leaning in close to my ear, his voice rumbling through my head, he whispers, “I am going to let go of your mouth. If you scream I will go upstairs in the main house and beat the shit out of that little cock sucking brother of yours after I am done with you. Your choice, Princess.”

  He takes his hand off of my mouth and settles inbetween my legs. His hand slips into my panties and he inserts his finger into me. I clench my jaw tight to absorb the pain without making a sound. I can feel the hot tears running down the sides of my face and into my ears. All I can hope for is that he passes out from the alcohol before he actually finishes what he started. Maybe he is just trying to scare and embarrass me and he won’t really go through with this.

  “Please Glen,” are the only words I can get out of my dry mouth and past the lump in my throat that is threatening to choke me.

  “Oh, no need for begging princess. You’ll get what you deserve, in due time. I am going to enjoy this.” He inserts a second finger and his free hand slides up my shirt. My nipples harden when the cold air hits them. Glen moans as he bites and pinches them. His touch is harsh and cruel not at all like the gentle way you see men touch women intimately in movies.

  Removing his fingers from inside me, Glen tears my panties away from my body. My body flinches from the coldness of the air. Fear pulses inside me. “Please. Glen don’t. I’m a virgin.” I am trying as hard as I can to keep calm in hopes that I can reason with him. From the smirk on his face I know that’s not going to happen.

  “A VIRGIN! Well, well Princess. I’m honored. Perhaps I misjudged you.” He stills for a second and I have a brief moment of hope that he will
come to his senses, but then a devilish grin creeps across his face. “I am going to enjoy this,” he announces as he puts the head of his penis in between my folds.

  Another rush of tears stream down my temples as I feel Glen grab my hips and pull me closer, ramming into me with one harsh thrust. The pain is excruciating. My heart is beating so fast I swear it is going to pound right out of my chest. The pain is forcing all the air from my lungs and just as I am about to release the cry building up in my chest, I remember what he said he would do to Mark if I screamed. He stills for a moment gaging my reaction then slides out slightly and swiftly moves back inside me, filling me with everything he has. Glen stills again and asks me if it hurts. I don’t know how to respond. Do I let him know that the pain is unbearable? Or do I lie and say that I’m fine? I don’t think there is a right answer that won’t set him off, so I say nothing. He rams into me again and the look on my face gives me away. The look on his face tells me he knows he is hurting me and enjoying every minute of causing me pain. He asks me again if it hurts and again I say nothing. He quickens the pace for I can’t even imagine how long.

  The alcohol is preventing him from reaching his climax quickly but by now it doesn’t matter. My body is numb. My soul is numb. Glen took something from me I will never get back. This is not how a girl wants her first time. I always imagined being in love, with a man who would whisk me away and we would live happily ever after. But instead, I get to remember my first time being raped by a psychopath.

  I focus on the bright, full moon hanging high above my head. My body’s numb and more relaxed as the pain subsides and the tears stop flowing. I don’t even think I’ve blinked as I stare off into the distance trying to focus on anything other than what is happening. Just as I thought the worst is over Glen’s thrusts became harder and harder as he becomes closer to finding his release. A moment later I feel his thighs tense up and his body becomes rigid. With a vicious growl he curses loudly and pins down my body with the entire weight of his. I can hear his breath becoming more controlled, but he is not moving. If there is a God, Glen Maser just died.

  “Glen…Glen? Get off me?” My voice is shaky. I am not sure if he is done punishing me yet. He’s still, not moving. I poke him and he doesn’t respond. He is passed out cold. It takes everything in me to roll him off. As I push his torso with the palm of my hands he groans. I push harder, pulling him out of me in the process. I wince in pain but move quickly. He is now lying on his back snoring and I contemplate choking the life out of him but I am too scared. I need to get as far from him as possible. I hop off the platform, find my pants, and pull my sweats back on. The soreness between my legs prevents me from walking correctly. The burning sensation is so painful tears spring up in me again.

  From the light of the moon I can see that the yellow plastic has a small amount of blood on it proving that my virtue is no longer in tact. I rip Glen’s shirt off his body and search for the bottle of booze he had been drinking before. I pour the liquid onto the platform and scrub it with his shirt the best I can to remove the blood. I don’t want anyone to see what he has done to me, and start asking questions.

  With his pants down around his thighs it’s than that I notice Glen has my blood on him as well. I pour the remaining whiskey on his dick in hopes it would burn so bad the next day he would never do that to me again. It must have stung a little because even in his inebriated state, the moment it touches him he flinches and pulls himself into the fetal position but he never wakes up. It is cool out here and he is half naked. I hope he freezes to death, was the only thought that crosses my mind as I quickly make my way back up to the main house.

  I shudder at the memory and take a deep breath before opening my eyes to come back to the here and now. As I do I almost faint at the sight of Glen Maser leaning with his hip on the bench and his left ankle crossed over the right, a few feet away from me. Standing there like he can read my mind. Watching me with a menacing smile I know all too well.

  Shit!

  CHAPTER 3

  “Hello, Princess,” Glen calmly said, his tone cold and sarcastic, “long time no see.” “Glen.” I reply as casually as I can. I side step, to get as much space between us as possible so I can return to the main house. “If you’ll excuse me.”

  “Where are you going? You don’t want to stay and catch up. Not even a hug for your big brother.” Glen stretches out his arms knowing full well I would never embrace him.

  My stomach is churning. I feel as though I am going to be sick. All the blood drains from my face and I feel as vulnerable and helpless as I did when I was 16 years old. From behind Glen I see Max watching me; scrutinizing me in the distance. The frightened look on my face must have allowed Max to figure out who is standing alone with me. Over Glens shoulder I see Max walking double time toward us. Glen is smiling and starts to walk closer to me.

  Fully knowing that Max won’t let Glen touch me I get a bit of courage and spit out, “No, big brother. I’m sorry. I don’t want to stay here and exchange pleasantries with my rapist, but you feel free to stay here all by yourself.” Glen’s face hardens and I can see that as always he is shocked by my outburst.

  “Careful, Princess.” He growls back while glaring at me.

  “Or what?” Max whispers in Glen’s ear from behind him. Max is standing inches behind Glen, his fists clenched at his sides ready to throw down. Max stands taller than Glen and he is of a slightly bigger build. As Glen turns around to see who is standing behind him, he gazes up at Max and I see them both trying to size each other up. Glens face is impassive but I know he’s baffled. He doesn’t know who Max is or why he would be interjecting on my behalf.

  “Why should she have to be careful, exactly?” Max is now smiling with his don’t-fuck-with-me face on. Glen looks at me and points to Max with a who-the-hellis-this-guy look on his face, then shrugs while shaking his head. “My apologies, I am Maxwell Reed. And you are?” He says as he extends his hands to Glen.

  “Glen Maser.” He shakes Max’s hand. They both stare at each other for a few seconds before finally releasing their grip on each other. “How do you know my sister, Mr. Reed?”

  Standing behind Max, I watch the pissing contest unfold before me, and I am not impressed. I grab Max’s hand and pull him to walk with me back to the house but he doesn’t budge.

  “I am your step-sisters best friend and-“

  “Emma!” We all turn to see Mark jogging toward us. “Emma. Hey. What are you guys all doing way over here? Is the party that boring?” Mark says humorously with a confused look on his face as he glances around to each of our faces. The tension in the air is thick but no one says a word.

  “Mark,” I say as I give him a big hug, “are you almost ready to go? We have a long drive back and I want to get out of here.”

  “Yea. I just saw Wanda. She is looking for you two.” He points at Max and me. “I told her you were probably out here having sex somewhere.” A sarcastic noise comes from Glen. Max tenses, shooting Glen a warning with his eyes. “Uhhhh. Well you guys are all being weird so I’ll go grab my stuff and put it in the car. Give me 15 minutes.” Mark turns and runs back toward the house leaving the three of us alone again.

  “Lets go Max. I want to say good-bye to my mother and Paul before we leave.”

  “One minute, Emm, you go on ahead.” Max gives my hand a reassuring squeeze before he releases it and turns back to Glen. I am not sure what to do so I concede and make my way back to the house. I am very nervous about what they will be talking about but I have to get as far away from Glen as possible. The sight of him breaks me down and I have come too far to let him see me sweat now.

  The whole way toward the house I keep looking over my shoulder to make sure they aren’t going to physically fight. Even though Max is bigger and stronger, Glen is a brawler and has been in more than his fair share of fights. Before I reach the patio I see Wanda looking at me, trying to figure out what is happening. I shake my head in the negative and give her a slight sh
rug to express my exasperation. When I get closer I stand next to her so we can both watch the drama being played out in the distance.

  “Who’s Max talking to?” Wanda asks curiously.

  “Glen.”

  “GLEN?!”

  “Yup!”

  “What about?”

  “Don’t know. Max asked me for a minute alone with him and they have been standing there talking ever since. I don’t know what they could possibly be talking about.” What were they talking about? Max keeps looking back at me, his face was not giving anything away.

  “Want me to go find out? I would love a minute with that fucker alone.” Wanda’s protective big sister tone of voice gives me the warm and fuzzies.

  “No. Lets go find my mother and Paul to say good-bye. Mark is getting the rest of his stuff together and then we can leave. “

  “Ok. Are you ok?”

  “I’m fine. I just want to go. We have a long drive back and after a day in the twilight zone I’m exhausted.”

  We find Paul and my mother in the kitchen in an affectionate embrace, kissing tenderly. It makes me happy that they have finally found peace in their relationship. As I walk toward them I see Holly stepping into the room. Seriously. Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse, Holly shows up.