Sweetness

by S Gonzalez

  “I love you, Emma,” he says, seriously. Very seriously. His words cause me to crack a smile, before he pants out my name, reveling in his own blissful moment. His eyes are looking directly into mine, never breaking contact. With one more thrust he completely empties himself into me. His body shudders as he squeezes out the last of his release.

  He loves me. He really loves me?

  Dominic rolls off of me and we both stare at the ceiling. Silently. Neither one of us says a word for what feels like forever. “Emma. Say something.”

  “That was amazeballs,” I say, matter of factly.

  “Say something else” he huffs appreciatively. I turn my head to look at him, but he doesn’t take his eyes off the ceiling. He just watches it with wide eyes as if he’s scared.

  “What do you want me to say?” He turns his head toward me with hurt in his eyes. “Nothing you don’t want to.” He climbs off the bed and grabs his boxers and his t-shirt off the floor, pulling them onto his body as if it were on fire and his clothes were the only things who could put it out.

  “Dominic?”

  I feel very vulnerable being completely naked while he redresses. I grab my robe and slip it on before he is able to locate any more of his clothes. He sits on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his hands in his hair, thinking deeply about something. I sit next to him and put my hand on his back but his flinch at my touch makes me think better of leaving it there.

  “Why, Emma? Why do you always make me feel like I am your plaything? I tell you I love you and when I ask you to respond you make some comment on how good the sex was. If you don’t love me, that’s fine. I don’t expect you to lie to me, but at least have the decency to tell me how you do feel when I ask you.” He stands up and tugs on his jeans.

  I look down at my hands twisting in my lap. I don’t know if I can tell him how I feel. Why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I tell him how I feel and be happy? I have never told anyone what I want to tell Dominic. I want to tell him that he is the most special thing in the world to me. That when he is with me it is like time stands still and we are the only two people on the planet. I want to scream that I love him, too!

  Well fuck me, I love him, too!

  “Dominic don’t go. I’m –“ He cuts me off before I can apologize.

  “Why, Emma? Why shouldn’t I leave? Since I left New York, you are all I think of. You are the last thing I think about at night, and the first thing I think about in the morning. I have missed you, and now that I am here and I’ve told you how I feel…DAMN it Emma. I am pouring my heart out and you won’t even look at me.”

  I raise my chin with tears in my eyes. I can’t lose him. I need him. He can’t leave me. He should, but he can’t. He kneels down in front of me and takes my hands. The tears begin to flow down my cheeks as he tries to lock my eyes with his while I look at anything but him.

  “Emma, please. Tell me how you feel. If it’s just sex then-“

  “It’s not just sex.” I manage to force out while containing the huge lump in my throat.

  “Then I don’t understand. If it’s not just sex, then“

  “Dominic, I love you. At least I think I do. I have never been in love before. I have never had a real boyfriend before.” His shoulders sag for a moment before I see them jump up and down. Laughing quietly to himself he sinks down on the floor clearly relieved by my admission.

  “I am glad you think I am funny,” I spit out, wiping away my tears.

  “Sweetness, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh. Well, not because I think this is funny. I am just so relieved. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of me. I was scared to tell you that I loved you. I was afraid of your reaction. If you didn’t feel the same way I would’ve be shattered. Would’ve made some epic songwriting though.” He lifts his body up and kneels between my legs, wiping the remaining tears away. He was sporting a huge contagious smile; I couldn’t help but laugh a little also.

  “I am sorry if I hurt your feelings and I am sorry that I make you feel like a toy. That’s not how I think of you. I’m serious though. I have never had a real boyfriend before. This is all very new to me but I do love you. I do,” I tell him, pleading for him to believe me.

  “Well I am honored to be your first love.” Gee, that was corny. His face screws up in confusion. “But what do you mean you never had a boyfriend. Not even in high school or college?”

  Oh shit how do I explain this without sounding like a complete whore. “No. There was never anyone I was interested in dating. Well not more then once or twice. I guess I was waiting for you.” And the corniness continues, which seems to put a smile on his face. He begins to run his hands up my thighs and into the back of my robe forcing it to fall open.

  “I love you, Emma Hill and right now I just want to show you how much.”

  “I love you, too, Dominic Ross. By all means, show away.”

  Chapter 11 The next morning Dominic and I decide to hang out by the pool with his band mates. I have their bios and I have met them before but I don’t know much about them personally. I am intrigued to find out more, like what they all do for fun while on tour. I am not stupid enough to believe that this tour is G rated. I am sure there are plenty of sluts to go around. As much as I trust Dominick, I have to be rational and realize that there are woman who are going to throw themselves at him. We have discussed trust very emphatically and the moment that trust is broken, this ends. This is a huge leap of faith for me and with my first real relationship being a long distance one, I have my doubts that this will end with a happily ever after. But I can’t imagine a world without him in it so I have to go for broke on this one.

  As I approach the pool area I see the bands’ drummer, Rocco and the bass player, Chris horse playing in the pool, trying to impress some girls who have circled them. Dominick and the guitar player Justin are lounging on the chairs at the far end of the pool, watching them make asses of themselves. When Dominick spots me he doesn’t hesitate to leap from his char and meet me half way as I approach. I see the group of woman sitting next to Justin follow Dominic with their eyes and throw daggers in my direction as he wraps his arms around me, hugging me right off my feet.

  As we approach, Justin smiles and tells the girls to, and I quote, “piss off”, in an Aussie accent. They sullenly oblige when he gives them a wink, then proceeds to smack their barely covered behinds as they pass him by. No doubt they now think they will have a second go at him later.

  “Aren’t you from Jersey?” I quip.

  “Yeah, but for some reason using my Australian accent gets ‘um wet. I lived there until I was ten so it comes back when I need it to,” he replies with a wink.

  I roll my eyes and Dominic shakes his head to admonish him. Justin is the same height and build as Dominic with spikey brown hair with blue tips. He is definitely the ladies man of the group. Dominic and Justin have been best friends since grade school, which means he knows Glen too. I have to be very careful that he doesn’t start bringing Glen into the fold. Glen is going to try and screw up my relationship with Dominic at all cost. I know he hates to see me happy and God knows I haven’t told him about the severity of our relationship, but that doesn’t mean Dominic and Justin haven’t been forthcoming with information. Once he finds out I am in love with Dominic it will be game on, no doubt.

  “So then what kind of accent do you use,” I ask Dominic with a crocked smile.

  Before Dominic can speak Justin does the honors. “The priest?,” he snorts. “Not that he was the life of the party before you came around but now that you’re in the picture, I can barely get him to come to an after party. Hearts are breaking all over America because he has found the love of his life. Bleh…” Justin pretends to vomit.

  I glance up at Dominic who is standing possessively at my side with his arms firmly placed around my waist, turning a rare shade of red. Something tells me it has nothing to do with the sun. I lean up and kiss him on his cheek before he twists
me around so he is behind me, draping his long muscular arms around my shoulders. It is as if he is using me as a human shield against Justin. Dominic is always so forward with me and so confident on stage so him acting shy in his best friends presence is weird. And what is with the priest comment. You can’t tell me he partakes in none of the perks that come with being a front man, even if it was before my time.

  I slip out of his arms and throw my stuff on the lounger next to where Dominic was sitting. Dominic sits back on his lounger after punching Justin playfully in the arm. When I take off my sundress and slip out of my flip flops Dominic shoots back up to his feet and shields me with his body by pressing up against my front. Justin looks out over the top of his sunglasses, clearly approving of my attire. Dominic takes notice and kicks the side of Justin’s lounger. I don’t really see what the big deal is. It is only a bathing suit. I push back slightly and take inventory of my red string bikini with black lace overlay that ties on the sides and in the back. It is not skimpy in the breast area however the ass section doesn’t leave much to the imagination. The tarts that were sitting here a few minutes ago were wearing something similar and he had no problem with them.

  “Jesus Emma, don’t you have a bigger bathing suit.”

  “No. What is wrong with the one I have on,” I laugh while putting my hands on my hips, daring him to answer.

  “I think you look smashing, love,” Justin says in his Aussie accent wearing a big grin. That earns him an icy glare from Dominic.

  “I think you look lovely, too.” Rocco kisses my cheek and shakes water off him and onto me while Chris takes a seat near us, sliding his greedy eyes over my body. Okay, now I feel self-conscience but I won’t be telling Mr. Ross that.

  Dominic is clearly not pleased with his band mates ogling me. It is now obvious that Rocco and Justin are goading him by not removing their eyes from my ass. It feels like I am missing something but I don’t think I want to know what it is.

  Whatever! I am not changing.

  I take a seat and Dominic moves his lounger next to mine so they are now touching. He grabs my hand and looks around to make sure no one, other than his friends, is staring. He is so possessive and jealous. It is exciting and unnerving at the same time. I have never had anyone love me enough to be protective over me. Max of course is the exception to the rule, but that is more a brotherly love then anything else.

  After a half hour of soaking up the sun, I ask Dominic to go get me a bottle of water. He reluctantly agrees and warns me not to move. He looks to Justin and asks him to watch me.

  “I will guard her with my life.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I am afraid of. I will be right back, baby. Don’t let this asshole touch you or he is going to have to play guitar with his toes.” Dominic quickly retreats to the bar as if his ass were on fire.

  After Dominic is out of earshot Justin’s inquisition begins. “So Emma, you are Maser’s sister.”

  “Um, no. Holly is Glen’s sister. I am the poor soul that has had to live with those two fuckwads.”

  Justin chuckles and throws me an inquisitive glance. “So I take it you don’t get along with Glen?”

  “That’s the understatement of the century. Look, I know you and Dominic are friends with him, God only know why. I would appreciate it if you warn me if you are going to invite him somewhere where I will be. We don’t get along and I hate being blindsided when it comes to him.”

  Justin adjusts himself so he is leaning toward me and takes off his sunglasses. He sits up a bit straighter and visibly tenses while his jaw ticks with anger. At first I think he is angry with me but when I see his eyes, they look concerned or possibly confused.

  “You won’t have to worry about me bringing that piece of shit around. He is Dominic’s friend. Not mine. Frankly I don’t know why he is still friends with him. Maser has always been a sick fuck.”

  Justin’s words raise a big red flag and my heart starts to race. I sit up and move over to Dominic’s lounger so I don’t have to raise my voice when I speak to him. I sit on the edge with my feet on the ground and lean forward with my elbows leaning against my knees.

  “Why do you say it like that? Why don’t you like him?”

  Justin takes a deep breath and shakes his head. I can see his jaw still flexing while he grinds his teeth. “I don’t want to bring up the past. He is your family and-“

  “Justin tell me! If anyone knows what a sick bastard he is, its me,” I say without thinking. Justin is searching my face, for what I don’t know, before he continues. Shit. I may have said too much.

  Justin rolls his eyes and looks over his shoulder to the bar before darting his eyes back to mine. “It was two years after we graduated high school. Glen was dating my twin sister Julie. He started drinking a lot and the more he drank the angrier he got. We were at a gig and they showed up. He had already been drinking and she kept asking him to slow down but he didn’t. She pissed him off and he slapped her. The bouncer threw him out but not before he grabbed a bottle of Jack from behind the bar and sped off in his car. About an hour later he called my sister to apologize but she said they were done. I don’t think he liked that much.”

  Oh my god. My brain is working in overload. Two years after he graduated puts him at twenty and me at 16. The night he first raped me he had a bottle of Jack with him. Could that be what set him off? Could his break up with Julie that night, have made him the raging lunatic he was. Panic. Panic. Panic. My breathing becomes irregular and Justin takes notice as the wheels in my brain work into overdrive.

  “Emma are you okay?” Justin asks. I’m not but I nod because I need him to finish.

  “Yes. I am fine. Just hot. What happened after that? Did they get back together?”

  “Hell no. I would never allow him near her again. He called her the next day telling her that he found a new piece of ass and he was done with her. She was heartbroken, god only knows why. She loved him, regardless of everything he did to her, she loved him. They even talked marriage briefly but after that night something snapped in him. He was different. I saw him at a party a few weeks after that. He was talking about some blond who couldn’t get enough of him. After we went a few rounds, I told him if he ever came around my sister again I would kill him.”

  “Did he?”

  “He’s still alive isn’t he?” he says with a smirk. “Dominic tried to play peace maker but I wasn’t interested. Dominic always tries to see the good in people, but there is no good in Glen Maser. When he is set off you could see the rage in his eyes. Like he completely checks out.”

  “From what I understand he even tried to hook up Holly and Dominic.”

  “Eck, yea. What a train wreck she was? Dominic wasn’t interested. He often wondered what happened to you over the years. He knew you lied about your age and he didn’t want to get you in trouble with your family. It wouldn’t have mattered about your age once you turned 18, but no one but that chick Rocco was with knew you, and she was long gone by then. Dominic may not have known Glen was your stepbrother, but Glen knew. He never said anything to him about you, even though he knew Dominic liked you.”

  “Fucking asshole!”

  “Hey! Language,” Dominic scolds as he approaches. “Can you be more specific?”

  “Glen!”

  I stand up and pace in front of the lounger while talking to myself. The guys are all watching me like I am a caged animal at the zoo. That fucker kept Dominic and me apart because he is a sick son of a bitch. He could have told him who I was but he never revealed it. He even tried to hook him up with Holly just to rub it in my face. Then he goes to some fucking party and brags about fucking me? I have to be the blond he was talking about. I am convinced now more then ever that the night he raped me for the first time, was the same night Justin’s sister broke up with him. He told her I was his new…new what…piece of ass?

  The thought of that is nauseating. The night he dragged me out of the club and convinced himself that I liked what he was doing, w
as part of his sadistic game. Ugh. That son of a bitch is going to pay for this.

  “Calm down, Emma. It doesn’t matter, now. We are together, that’s all that matters,” Dominic mutters reaching for me as I trace my four foot trek back and forth.

  “Bullshit! That is not all that matters. He did this on purpose. He is a sick bastard and he deserves to be strung up by his balls.”

  “I knew I liked her the moment I saw her,” Justin agrees with a calm coolness as he sits back in his chair.

  “Knock it off, Justin. You are just riling her up. Her and Glen don’t get along as it is.”

  “Can you blame me? This is the shit he has done since the day I met him. He has tortured me. For years, he has done shit like this. He treats woman like shit. The concert, the night before you left, he nearly dragged his date out by her hair because I pissed him off.”

  “WHAT? What date. The girl he was sitting with?” Justin asks with a shocked look on his face as he straightens his back.

  “Yes.”

  “Mother fucker,” Justin yells as he grabs his phone and storms off.

  “What was that about?” I look between Dominic and the rest of the band.

  “Shit! Justin’s sister was back in town and he saw her talking to Glen before the show. The next morning she had bruises on her wrists. She denied being with Glen but Justin knew it was him even though Julie kept telling him it wasn’t.”

  Damn. That poor girl. He is a danger to all women. What he did to Julie and me is twisted. He would beat her then rape me. He wasn’t stupid enough to leave marks on me. He’d did get rough but he never left marks that would raise attention to anyone.

  At the rape clinic, we would talk as a group about what we went through. Some of the stories were horrifying. Most of the women who were repeatedly raped were beaten also and convinced they were to blame. I know that nothing Glen did to me was my fault but I wonder if Julie knows the same thing. If she has feelings for him and he is playing the same twisted game he did with me she could be in very big trouble.