In Love with the Firefighter

by Amie Denman

  Nicole didn’t take his hand, but she linked arms with him and walked closely by his side as they made their way to the ice cream truck down by the water.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  JANE WAITED IN line next to Charlie, remembering all the other summer nights she’d gone out with friends from the fire and police departments, and other Cape Pursuit business owners. She had a wide circle of people she enjoyed spending time with, had dated a few local men, but her heart had always come back to the most illogical choice. Charlie Zimmerman. The man who stayed in relationships for two weeks at the most and kept his feelings right at the surface level. Not with his colleagues—Jane had no doubt he would lay down his life for the other firefighters at his station.

  She glanced up at him as he stood next to her in front of the vegan food truck. He would lay down his life for her and their baby, but she didn’t want his life. She wanted his love.

  When they reached the order window, Jane ordered tofu stir-fry for both of them, and Charlie pulled out his wallet.

  “I’ll buy,” Jane said. “It’s the least I can do for a man who’s trying a new kind of food.”

  He shook his head and withdrew cash from his wallet.

  “And I owe you for that bottle of wine you sent to our table at the bar.”

  He laughed. “Wine you didn’t drink, and you know Kevin sent that anyway. He’s in love with Nicole.”

  Jane’s eyes widened and Charlie flushed as he accepted change and they moved to the side window to wait for their food to come up.

  “I mean, he...uh...” he sputtered.

  “I’m not surprised,” Jane said lightly. “Nicole is quite lovable.”

  Charlie laughed. “But is Kevin?”

  “I’ll let Nicole be the judge of that. They’re still getting to know each other, and you’ve probably heard what happened to her brother when he joined the fire service.”

  Charlie nodded seriously. “Kevin told me. It’s awful.” Charlie shoved his hands in his pockets. “I want you to know that I visited my insurance agent and doubled my life insurance. I made you the beneficiary in case...you know.”

  Jane’s mouth fell open but she couldn’t think of one thing to say. She felt sick at the thought of ever receiving that life insurance policy.

  Charlie wrapped an arm around her and held her close in a quick hug. It was over in a second, but it lasted long enough to remind Jane what she could have. She could have his arms around her. His smile and his strength in her life every day.

  “I’ll wait here for our order,” he said. “I want you to go sit down.”

  She was torn between needing to sit and sort her thoughts and wishing Charlie would wrap his arms around her again and never let go.

  “I’m fine,” Jane protested. “They said it would only be five minutes.”

  “Consider it saving us a table then,” Charlie said, his hands on her shoulders.

  “We could join Kevin and Nicole.” Jane enjoyed the sensation of his fingers rubbing circles on the backs of her shoulders.

  Charlie shook his head. “They abandoned their table and headed for the ice cream truck down by the beach.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I can see over the crowd. It’s just us for dinner.”

  Jane nodded and picked up both their drinks. “I’ll be over there,” she said, tilting her head.

  A family of four got up and left as Jane walked toward the tables with a drink in each hand. She sat and propped her feet on the seat of the picnic table, keeping Charlie in her view where he leaned against the side of the food truck, arms crossed. Several groups of young women—tourists—slowed down as they passed him. His height, muscular body and ocean-blue eyes caught their attention, and Jane didn’t blame them for looking. But he didn’t appear to notice them. Instead, he waved to Jane to let her know he saw where she was sitting.

  His handsome face had never been the thing that drew Jane in like the tide. It was something else in him, that spot of vulnerability that had never asked a thing of her. It was his soft core inside his carefree shell that had suckered her in on Valentine’s Day when she’d caught an unexpected glimpse of it.

  “Sorry you had to wait so long,” he said, placing two identical plates on the table. “That medical emergency really delayed our dinner.”

  “It’s your job.”

  “I didn’t do a thing. Kevin had it handled before I got over there.”

  “I don’t mind about dinner, and I’m glad there are guys like you in case I ever need you.”

  Charlie swung his legs over the seat and leaned forward to speak quietly. “You do need me.”

  Jane’s hands trembled as she pulled her plate closer and unwrapped a plastic fork and knife. They ate in silence for a few minutes.

  “This is surprisingly good,” Charlie said. “Tastes like chicken.”

  He polished off his plate quickly, but Jane ate slowly, enjoying the beautiful scene. The ocean took on a deep blue shade that would be stunning in watercolor if she could find a way to capture it.

  Everything should be perfect. She’d had more dinners with Charlie and the other firefighters than she could count. Her relationship with him had always been made of something different from her other relationships, an easy friendship that shouldn’t be shaken loose by something wonderful growing inside her.

  Why was she letting the baby tear them apart? Was she being selfish demanding his love in exchange for a wedding ring?

  “Do you know why the entire roster of the Cape Pursuit Fire Department worships you?” Charlie asked after he balled up his napkin and shoved his plate aside.

  What kind of a question was that?

  Jane laughed. “I’m sure they don’t worship me. They treat me like a little sister.”

  “You’re one of the very few people in our lives who asks nothing of us. You show up with coffee when we’re out late. You always vote in our favor on the town council when we need new equipment or training. You cooked three tons of spaghetti for us that terrible week last summer when it was one call after another.”

  “My dad was a fire chief. My mother did the same things. I get it.”

  “You more than get it. You give us your time, you listen to us and you never ask anything in return.”

  Jane didn’t know what to say. It was a very nice speech. A speech Charlie could use if she was ever awarded the “friend of the fire department” medal by the mayor. But it wasn’t what she needed from him. What she wanted from him.

  “Let me help you. Take care of you,” he said. “I can cook spaghetti if you want me to.”

  Jane laughed. “I’m sure you could do anything.”

  “Except be your husband.”

  “Charlie,” she said, her voice unsteady. “I didn’t say you wouldn’t be a good husband.”

  “You said no when I asked you to marry me.”

  He picked up her empty plate and his and dumped them into a trash can. When he returned to the table, he sat next to her.

  “Do you think because I’ve dated a lot of other women that I wouldn’t be faithful to you? Is that it?”

  Jane considered her answer. It was a logical question given Charlie’s reputation.

  “You were out with another woman on Valentine’s Day when I...when we...”

  “She didn’t mean anything to me.”

  “I’m sure she would be happy to hear that.”

  “You were at that party with a date, too.”

  “Someone I hardly knew,” Jane said. “And he left before I could even learn if he was a cat person or a dog person.”

  “I meant what I told you that night,” Charlie said quietly. “When I said I had never let anyone get as close to me as you have. Other women, friends even, come and go. But you, Jane...”

  She waited, hardly breathing. Was he fin
ally going to say it? Was this the moment he said he loved her and changed everything? She waited five seconds, ten. How much longer?

  “I don’t regret what happened that night,” he said. “And I meant it when I said I wanted to marry you.”

  Her shoulders dropped. If he was ever going to say the words she needed to hear, the moment had passed.

  “I still want to,” he said earnestly.

  “Why?”

  “For the same reasons I already told you,” he said.

  Jane closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Her throat was thick but she didn’t want to cry. It was a moment for the truth. “There’s only one reason why I would marry you.”

  “The baby?”

  “No.”

  “What then?” He took both her hands. “We’ve been friends forever, Jane. You can tell me.”

  Jane stood and put her hand on Charlie’s shoulder. He looked up at her with such open vulnerability on his face she almost surrendered and accepted his offer, even if it didn’t come with the one thing that had to be there. He would care for her, support her, do his best to be a good father. Wasn’t that more than some women ever got?

  It wasn’t enough. She had to say the one thing that would split her heart open—for better or for worse.

  “I could only marry a man who asked because he loved me.”

  Without waiting for a response, she turned and started walking toward the beach where she imagined Nicole and Kevin had already finished their dessert. Charlie fell into step beside her. Neither of them said a word as they passed through the crowd. Charlie put a hand on Jane’s back as they negotiated a tangle of people near the end of the line of trucks. He was by her side, showing he cared for her...but it wasn’t enough.

  Jane saw Nicole and Kevin sitting on a bench by the water and almost broke into a run. The silent march with Charlie was pure agony.

  “Ready to go home?” Nicole asked when she glanced up and saw Jane. Although Nicole’s face was cheerful and relaxed at first, her expression deepened into concern.

  Jane nodded as Kevin stood and offered Nicole his hand to pull her up. She noticed that Kevin and Charlie exchanged a quick look, and she knew she was responsible for the terrible awkwardness hanging over them all. She and Charlie were responsible. Did it have to be this way? Did her easy friendships with the firemen have to end?

  She waited while Nicole said a quick good-night to Kevin, but she didn’t have the courage to say anything to Charlie before turning and walking toward the parking lot with Nicole at her side.

  “You don’t have to say anything,” Nicole said.

  Jane took a deep breath. “It will be a lot more interesting if you tell me about your evening. I swear I see wisps of happiness coming off you.”

  “It was the ice cream. Nothing has changed between Kevin and me.”

  “Nothing has changed between Charlie and me either.”

  He had had his chance to tell her what was in his heart, and the only conclusion she could draw was that it was not love.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  AS THEY PREPARED to open the art gallery on a cloudy Friday morning, Nicole and Jane spread new pictures and mats on the worktable in the back room.

  “Do you think this double mat with the blue inside the white is too...cutesy nautical?” Nicole asked. She held up a photo of the Cape Pursuit lighthouse she’d taken the day she’d gone out on the boat with Kevin.

  “It’s supposed to be nautical.”

  “I know, but I don’t want to overdo it. I’m having fun matting my pictures, and I’m still surprised every time one of them sells.”

  Jane laughed. “Your gorgeous pictures sell every day. You should get used to it.” She pointed out a sunny corner of the back room. “Do you think I could put a playpen there?”

  “It’s a great place for one,” Nicole said. “And speaking of places, I’m almost ready to commit to my own house, so we can start clearing my stuff out of your guest room. It will make a great nursery.”

  “I have about four months, and the last thing I want to do is rush you out of my house. I was hoping you’d help with diapers and feeding and figuring out why it’s three in the morning and we’re all awake and crying.”

  “I won’t go far,” Nicole said, laughing. “And you can call me anytime you’re pacing the floor or somebody’s crying. I’ll come over and cry, too. That’s how good a friend I am.”

  Nicole’s cell phone rang and she eyed the screen. Kevin. She held the phone in her hand, considering whether to answer.

  “Telemarketer trying to sell you a vacation time-share?” Jane asked.

  “Kevin,” Nicole said.

  “What are you waiting for?”

  Nicole swiped the screen and held the phone to her ear.

  “I know I’m asking a lot,” Kevin said without even saying hello. He sounded like he was running. Or possibly sobbing.

  “What’s the matter?” Nicole asked. She’d seen Kevin in tense situations, but the chaos in his voice was new.

  “I’m in over my head,” he said.

  In the background on Kevin’s end, Nicole swore she heard the kind of silly songs and noises usually only on—

  “Turn those cartoons down,” Kevin shouted. He lowered his voice. “Please.”

  “What’s going on at your house?” Nicole asked.

  Nicole heard a door shut and Kevin lowered his voice to a near-whisper. “My sister-in-law’s father got hit by a car while he was out biking. He’s in bad shape, and my brother and his wife left an hour ago to see him. They dropped off their girls on the way.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Nicole said. No wonder he sounded breathless and had to compete with cartoon soundtracks. “Will her father be okay?”

  “I don’t know. The details are unclear. He lives about two hours away and I’m waiting for Tyler to call when he knows something.”

  “So you have your nieces for the day?” Nicole asked. She kept her tone therapy-couch neutral.

  Jane gave her a questioning look, eyebrows raised.

  “I called my parents to see if they could take the girls, but they’re out. Dad has a colonoscopy today and Mom’s his driver. He won’t be in any humor this evening to entertain his granddaughters when all that gas starts working its way out.”

  Nicole didn’t say anything. She didn’t even know Kevin’s dad, but she was reasonably sure she didn’t want to imagine his gastric distress. Or anyone else’s.

  “Maybe that was too much information,” Kevin said. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” Nicole said. “Maybe I could help you out when we close the gallery. I could come over and make dinner for you and the girls later. If they’re still there.”

  She heard Kevin breathing on the other end of the line. She waited. Jane continued with the full-face question and Nicole shrugged.

  “Here’s the thing,” Kevin said. “My brother and his wife were taking the kids to Busch Gardens today. They have four nonrefundable tickets good for today only.”

  Nicole took a breath. “How old are these girls?”

  “Three and five.”

  “And you’re planning to take them to a giant amusement park filled with sticky surfaces, junk food and spinny rides.”

  “Uh-huh,” Kevin said. “I have my sister-in-law’s minivan, so I don’t care if they puke on the way home.”

  “You’re stoic.”

  “I’m desperate. I need backup. I can’t take two little girls in the men’s room and I don’t know the names of the Sesame Street characters.”

  “The red one is Elmo and the yellow one is Big Bird.”

  “Please, Nicole. Come with us. I’m begging you.”

  The man actually was begging, a note of panic in his voice. Nicole pictured him pacing outside the ladies’ restroom and juggling lollipops in lin
es for rides. Tripping over strollers and tying Hello Kitty shoelaces. Carrying a niece in each arm after they fell asleep on the way to the car. Adorable. She sighed.

  “Just a minute. I’ll check with Jane and see if I can slip away today.”

  She put her finger over what she thought was the microphone and gave Jane a summary.

  “If you want an excuse to avoid amusement park duty,” Jane said, “I’m happy to say I can’t spare you today. I could make up a good reason.”

  Nicole considered it. Bail out or buckle up in the minivan. She thought of Kevin trying to apply sunscreen evenly to wiggly girls with ponytails swishing like horse’s manes.

  “Can you spare me?”

  “It’s a good opportunity,” Jane said. “He’ll owe you a year’s worth of anything you want.”

  “Thanks, Jane.”

  “You may hate me later.”

  Nicole smiled, shook her head, and uncovered the microphone on her cell phone.

  “I heard all that,” Kevin said.

  “It’s not polite to listen to other people’s conversations.”

  She could feel Kevin smiling through the phone.

  “I’ll pick you up at your house in an hour,” he said. “I’ll be the one wearing ear protection and driving a faded Chrysler Town & Country.”

  * * *

  ALTHOUGH SHE WAS dressed as if she were headed for a battle—gray T-shirt, black shorts, sneakers, ball cap and sunglasses—Nicole cheerfully shook hands with Maureen and Paige before buckling up in the front seat of the van. Kevin would be happy to spend time with Nicole under any circumstances, but having her along as backup made him feel as if he might survive the day ahead.

  “Thanks for coming,” he said. He wanted to ask her about what he’d overheard on the phone. A year’s worth of anything she wanted? What did Nicole want?

  “I’m excited about it. I love kids and amusement parks, and I’ve never been to this one.”

  “You haven’t spent the day with these kids either.”

  Nicole glanced in the back seat. “They don’t look dangerous.”