"I'm sorry. I forgot. I slept in late, and then went to see my brother for a while."
He nodded. "I missed you, Natalie." He started to kiss me desperately, and I melted into him, but he winced and pulled away. "Goddamn stitches." He lifted a hand to his mouth with a grimace. He must have forgotten about them. He cut the inside of his lip in the fight he had with Aiden yesterday. He was beaten up pretty badly and broke the coffee table, which I just now noticed had been cleaned up, when he fell on it. I could see the bruising that was starting to darken his left cheek. No wonder he was in pain.
I leaned in and kissed his chin, suddenly feeling desperate for physical contact, and to soothe his pain and my fear. "I missed you too, my love," I whispered in a needy tone. I trailed my lips along his jaw and nuzzled my face into his neck. I nipped at his skin playfully, and his breathing stuttered and quickened. "Let me make you feel better," I murmured as I lowered myself to my knees in front of him. I stared up into his needy eyes as I began unbuckling his belt slowly. Our eyes stayed locked together as I lowered his zipper and pulled his hardening erection out of his boxer briefs.
I ran my hand up and down the hot velvety skin, feeling him harden under my touch. He grabbed my hair in both hands and pulled my lips closer to him. I licked his slit softly then kissed the head like it was his mouth, humming with pleasure. He tasted and smelled so good.
I waited until his hips started thrusting impatiently, before I finally took him in my mouth. He groaned with pleasure as I deep throated him as far as I could go, the head bumping against the back of my throat. His fingers tightened in my hair as he began thrusting in and out of my mouth, swearing and growling desperately. I let him take me how he wanted, hard and fast. I reveled in the loss of control, letting go of everything but this moment and the pleasure he was taking from my body. My brain shut off and all I could do was focus on the here and now, and this man whom I loved so very much.
I could tell he was close when his breathing hitched, and his body shuddered. I braced for his release, but he pulled me away with a growl. He picked me up wordlessly and carried me to his room. He stripped our clothes off and laid me on his bed gently, mindful of my injured back. He spooned his warm body behind me, his breath ghosting along the sensitive skin at the back of my neck. He lifted my leg and his free hand moved through my swollen folds, spreading the wetness with his fingers. Then slowly and gently, he slid his cock into me, filling me and claiming me. A long moan escaped my lips at how good he felt inside me.
"David," I whimpered his name in a needy whine.
"I'll take care of you, Natalie," he whispered. "Don't worry. I've got you. Always."
His sweet words made the tears start up again as I tried to tamp down the fear, the doubt, and my guilt for not telling him the truth. Fortunately, he couldn't see my face and mistook my soft sob as a sigh of pleasure. He thrust himself gently in and out of me, moaning out my name and murmuring words of love to me. It tore my heart apart even as my climax crashed into me. I sobbed and moaned out his name, the pleasure not near enough to eclipse my terrified and guilty heart. I started to wonder if this was the last time we'd be together like this, and my sobs became louder as they shook my body to the core.
"Natalie?" David asked softly as he pulled himself out of me. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He rolled me onto my back and brushed my hair out of my face with gentle fingers. His eyes were filled with worry and fear.
"I...I..." my voice trailed off as I tried to tell him that I was pregnant, but the icy hard look on his face from my dream popped unbidden into my head.
"Is it your back?" he asked as concern flowed across his face. "Did I hurt you?"
I nodded, and guilt filled his eyes as I lied to him, again. Another hard sob tore out of me as he gathered me in his arms.
"I'm sorry," he whispered in a heartbroken voice. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just got carried away. I am so sorry, sweetheart." He buried his face into my neck. "I'm sorry."
He held me until I finally stopped crying. When he sat up, his face was haunted and filled with pain. It was all I could do to keep from crying again as guilt swamped me.
"I'm...I'm really tired," I whispered. "I'd like to take a nap." It was another lie, but I needed him to leave the room before I lost it again.
"Okay." He gave me a wan smile. "You get some rest and I'll make you dinner later." He rose from the bed and started pulling his clothes on. He went to the door and looked back at me apologetically. "I love you, Natalie."
"I love you too," I forced out in a calm voice. He left quietly, closing the door behind him.
I immediately buried my face in the pillow as harsh sobs broke free from my chest. I cried as quietly as I could for a long time. Eventually, I actually did fall asleep. The scent of David all around me was comforting to me. When I woke up again, I felt foggy and a little sick to my stomach. I think I was going to throw up again soon. With a wave of panic, I realized I had to leave before that happened or David would know the truth.
I got dressed swiftly and went out to the living room to find David playing a video game. He paused it as he saw me walk in.
"Do you feel better now?" he asked with a worried expression.
I nodded as I approached him reluctantly.
"Are you hungry?" he asked with a smile. "I can make you something."
"I need to go home now." I forced the lie out in a calm voice. I watched pain fill up his eyes and my resolve almost buckled under my guilt. "I have some stuff I need to get done before work tomorrow. I'm sorry."
"Alright," his voice was subdued as he stood. "I'll walk you out."
He followed me out to my car, opening my door for me and giving me a gentle hug. I climbed in and forced a smile as I told him good-bye. I backed out of the driveway as he watched me with the same hurt expression that he had worn yesterday when I left. I held it together for a few blocks until I lost it again, and I drove home through a curtain of tears.
***********
I went straight to my bed when I got home. The nausea hadn't gotten any worse since I left David's house, but my despair hadn't gone anywhere. I curled up into the fetal position under my blankets and cried again. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I tell David the truth? I needed him so much right now, and I felt so alone. What kind of mother would I be if I was this much of a coward?
"I'm sorry, baby," I murmured as I placed my hands on my belly and apologized for my shortcomings.
I cried myself to sleep again, and was woken by my phone ringing on my nightstand. I grabbed it and saw my mother's name. I groaned as I sat up and answered the call.
"Hi, Mom," I mumbled sleepily, my voice still thick from crying.
"Natalie," Mom said with sudden concern. "You don't sound right. Are you sick?"
"I was just taking a nap, Mom," I told her in irritation.
"Have you not been getting enough sleep?" she asked, oblivious to my annoyance. "You don't want to end up sick, especially, right before Thanksgiving."
Thanksgiving? Hell, that was this week. I completely forgot amid all the chaos of the last week or so with David and Paige. Although, in hind sight that problem was better than the stress that I was going through right now.
"You're still coming over for Thanksgiving dinner aren't you?"
"Yes, Mom." I rolled my eyes. Like she even had to ask. I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't.
"I hope David is coming with you," she added. "I really like him. He's so good to you."
"I'll ask him, Mom," I said in a subdued tone as guilt over the way I had been treating David swamped me again. I hoped we were still together by then.
"Are you sure you're alright, honey?" Damn Mom and her ability to read me. Why couldn't I have a normal Mom? One that I could tell anything to, without her becoming a basket case. God only knew how she'd react when I told her I got myself pregnant with a man I had only known for two months. I'll be the one trying to calm her down.
"I'm fine, Mom," I said, somehow ma
naging to sound normal this time. "I'm just not quite awake yet."
That seemed to mollify her, and she started in on the latest gossip in her social circle. I was a good daughter, and I let her talk, commenting at the appropriate times. I ended up actually being a decent distraction from my own problems, for little while anyway.
"Dinner will be at five on Thanksgiving, honey," Mom told me as she wrapped up the phone call. "But you can come earlier if you like."
"I'll be there, Mom. I love you."
"I love you too, honey."
I ended the call with relief that was short-lived as the nausea started creeping up on me again. With a groan, I climbed out of bed and went in search of my saltine crackers. I took them and a blanket, and camped out on the couch. I watched a couple of movies that I wouldn't remember later, and cried off and on. I was in between crying jags when my phone rang again. It was David, and I answered it with a heavy heart.
"Hi, David," I said softly.
"Hi, sweetheart," his voice was unsure and subdued, totally unlike him. "I wanted to make sure you were okay. Is your back still hurting?"
"A little, but it's not bad."
"I'm sorry I hurt you earlier." He sounded so sad and dejected. It made my heart ache over what I was doing to him, but I was still too terrified to tell him the truth.
"I'm okay, my love," I tried to reassure him. "Don't worry about it. It was just an accident." There was a long pause before David began speaking again.
"I'm worried about you, Natalie," he finally said in a serious tone. "You went through a really traumatic event yesterday. It's not unusual to feel emotional and out of sorts after being assaulted. If you want to talk about it, you know I could help you."
"I'm fine, David," I sighed out in a tense voice that I didn't even believe. There was another long silence.
"Natalie," he began in a concerned voice.
"I have to go," I interrupted him. Desperate to end this conversation before I ended up lying to him again. "I'll call you after work tomorrow."
"Okay," he whispered and could practically feel his hurt through the phone.
"I love you, David," I told him with all the sincerity I could muster, anything to make up for the awful things I'd done to him today.
"I love you, too," he replied softly. "If you need me, I'll always be here. You know that, right?"
"I do." I hoped that really was true, because I couldn't hide my secret forever.
We ended the call, and I sat staring off into space with tears sheeting down my face. A wave of fatigue swept over me. This day had been too much for me, and I wanted it to fucking end. I took my crackers and my phone, and went to my room. Even though it was only eight o'clock, I put on my pajamas and crawled back into bed where sleep gratefully swept me away almost immediately.
It felt like only seconds had passed when I awoke gasping for air. I sat up abruptly, feeling lost and disturbed by a dream that I couldn't quite recall. All I knew for certain about the dream was that I had been alone and filled with dread. My room was dark, and I grabbed my phone to see that it was a quarter after midnight.
A sudden feeling of clarity came over me. What was I doing here? Why was I sitting here suffering all alone when the man I loved could be holding me right now? Why on earth did I think he'd leave me over this? I was so worried about being all alone, yet I had done that very thing to myself by pulling away from him. I was a fool.
With a jolt of determination, I threw the blankets off and flew out of my bed. I hastily dressed in the wrinkled clothes from last night and hurried out of my room. I grabbed my coat, my purse, and keys, and headed out into the night, intent on rectifying this situation, no matter the consequences.
Chapter Two
David
I couldn't sleep. It was well past midnight, and I was still sitting in front of my television staring unseeing at the shitty paid programming commercial that was on. Something was seriously wrong with Natalie, and I couldn't get her to talk to me. For some reason, she was pulling away from me, and I didn't know what to do. I was afraid that she was traumatized by Aiden's assault on her yesterday, but since she wouldn't tell me anything, I couldn't help her. I felt lost and helpless, my heart sick with worry for her and for us. I was seriously starting to think that Natalie was about to leave me. The thought made my heart ache inside my chest, and I had to fight down an urge to cry.
I thought about the last phone call I had with her, and how abruptly she ended it when I mentioned her assault. Maybe she blamed me for what happened yesterday. I should never have left her alone to go for that run. I was such a selfish asshole. I reached up to press my fingers into the tender flesh of my bruised cheek and ran my tongue over the stitches inside my mouth, purposefully causing myself pain. I closed my eyes and felt the pain throb through my face and mouth. It was a penance that I deserved.
After a few moments of torturing myself, I stood with a deep sigh. I at least needed to try to go to sleep. Five o'clock would be here sooner than later, and I needed to be able to function at work tomorrow. I picked George up off the couch next to me, and carried him down the hall to my room. He blinked up at me with sleepy contented eyes, and when I laid him on the bed gently, he went right back to sleep. At least, somebody in this damn house was getting some rest.
I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, then undressed, so I could climb into bed. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Who the hell could that be at this late hour? Maybe it was Natalie? Elation filled me with that thought, followed by dread. What if she was here to break up with me? If that was the case, then I would talk her out of it. I had too. She was my life now, and I didn't want to be without her. I pulled my jeans back on hastily and hurried out to the living room.
When I answered the door, it was, in fact, Natalie. Her face was a mask of fear and panic, and she burst into tears as soon as she focused on my face. I opened my arms automatically, and she dropped her purse on the floor as she threw herself into them with a sob. I held her close and breathed her in deeply. She smelled so good, and I had missed her so much. I lifted her up and carried her to my room as she pressed her face into my chest, crying hysterically. She was scaring me, and I couldn't help thinking that this might be the last time I got to hold her in my arms.
I sat on the edge of the bed and held her close as she continued to sob. I felt helpless, as I waited for her to calm down and do what I was afraid she had come here to do to me. This time it would truly destroy me, and I would never love anyone, never trust anyone, ever again. I felt a few tears start gliding down my face.
Eventually, Natalie settled into silence and sat up, pushing away to stand in front of me. Her face nearly broke me as I saw fear and dread and guilt in her eyes. Here it comes, just like last time. My life would never be the same, never be whole again. Without her, I had nothing.
"David," she said in a thick shaking voice. "I need to tell you something, but I'm afraid of what it will do to you, to us. I want you to know that I never meant for this to happen."
My God, was there another man? The thought made me feel ill.
"Just say it, Natalie." My voice sounded bitter and pathetic to my ears. I wanted to get this over with.
She turned away and wrung her hands together, staring off at nothing for several long moments before facing me again.
"I...I..." Pain filled her eyes, and I had to stop myself from going to her. "I'm pregnant, David."
I felt my face go blank. "What?"
"I accidentally got pregnant, and I'm so sorry. I found out at the hospital yesterday, and I didn't know how to tell you." She looked at the floor and started sobbing again as my mind reeled from her words. She was pregnant? Natalie was carrying my baby? A pleasure like I had never known before swept through my body, engulfing my entire being. It was amazing. I tried to speak, but nothing came out.
"I understand if you're angry, David," she continued with despair in her voice. "I fucked up with my pills. I swear I didn't do it on purpose."
> I slid off the bed onto my knees in front of her, gripping her hips in my shaking hands. I gazed up at her gorgeous face, my love for her welling up inside me like it never had before. I still couldn't speak to tell her how happy I was, so I did the next-best thing. I reached up and lifted her shirt, baring her beautiful belly. I leaned in, heedless of the pain it would cause me, and pressed an opened mouth kiss to her soft warm skin, lingering there as tears flowed out of me for a very different reason now. When I looked up at her, her eyes were wide and startled. I felt a huge smile flow across my lips, my tears of joy dripping down my face.
"You're...you're not angry with me?" she asked uncertainly.
"No," I somehow managed to get out in a quavering voice. "Why would I be angry?"
"Because I fucked up, because...because I thought you would think I'm trying to trap you," she blurted out in a rush.
"Trap me?" I asked in bewilderment. "Trap me into what?"
"Into staying with me, marrying me."
"Sweetheart," I murmured with a soft smile. "You already trapped me weeks ago when I fell in love with you. And it's a trap that I willingly walked right into. You're the best thing that ever happened to me." She stared at me with doubt in her eyes and her lower lip quivering. I opened my arms for her. "Come here." She fell into my arms with another sob, but this time with relief. I couldn't believe she thought I'd be angry with her over this.
"I'm so scared," she whispered as she buried her face in my neck.
"Don't worry, sweetheart," I murmured gently. "We're in this together, and I'll take care of you and our baby. I promise. I'm not going anywhere." I knew she was scared, and that I probably should be too, but all I could think was that this was my second chance. That this could ease the pain of losing the baby Paige had aborted. That this time would be different because it was Natalie, and I loved her like I had never loved anyone.
After a while, Natalie finally settled down. I felt her body go limp with exhaustion, so I picked her up and laid her on my bed. I undressed her as she smiled at me. She looked so tired. Knowing her, she had been fretting about this since she found out yesterday, and she probably hadn't slept much either.
You Are My Life: Breathless Book 3 Page 2
