"Natalie," David said with relief as he picked up on the first ring. "You didn't answer my texts. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, David," I said reassuringly, tamping down my irritation. I knew he was just worried about me, and he meant well. "I was in a meeting and couldn't answer you until now."
"Oh," he said sheepishly. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"Did you remember to drink decaf today? You know you have to be careful how much caffeine you take in."
"I had one cup of decaf, David." My irritation started coming out in my voice.
"Good," he said and didn't seem to notice my annoyance. "Make sure you eat a good lunch since you couldn't eat anything but crackers this morning."
I stared up at the ceiling, begging the universe for patience. "I will, David. I can take care of myself."
"I know, sweetheart," he said softly. "I just worry about you and the baby." His voice sounded tight and a little emotional. Guilt hit me. After what happened with Paige and how she aborted his baby, it was no wonder he was worried. I sighed and managed to moderate my tone.
"I know, David," I said gently. "Don't worry. I'm taking care of both of us just fine."
"Okay," he said then lapsed into a brief uncomfortable silence before continuing in an apologetic tone. "Do you want me to make you dinner tonight? I can make whatever you want."
"I'd like that a lot," I replied softly, feeling guilty about my annoyance with David. "Could you make pork chops and mashed potatoes?"
"You got it, sweetheart." His voice sounded relieved. "I'll let you get back to work. I love you, both of you."
"We love you too." I couldn't help smiling at his affectionate tone.
We ended the call and I threw myself into work, successfully avoiding thinking too much about my pregnancy and my tiff with Maggie. When I went to leave for the day, I finally decided to peek in on Maggie and apologize, but she had already left. I guess I would have to suck up to her tomorrow. This wasn't something I wanted to do over the phone. Besides, she probably needed to cool down before we talked anyway.
When I finally got home to David's house, I was physically and emotionally drained, and starving. So when I walked in and smelled the delicious dinner that he was cooking for me, I was filled with relief and anticipation. I walked into the kitchen to find David mashing a pot of potatoes, and I could hear something sizzling in a pan on the stove.
"Hi, sweetheart," David greeted me with a wide grin. "How was your day?"
"Exhausting," I said with a deep sigh as I came around the kitchen island to stand next to him. I peered over his shoulder at the pork chops and the country gravy bubbling around them. "That looks and smells amazing, my love." I wrapped my arms around his middle and pressed myself against his back. I breathed in his scent. "So do you."
He stopped what he was doing and turned in my arms until he was facing me. He lifted his hands and slid them up through my hair to cradle the back of my head. He looked at me with warm affection in his gorgeous blue eyes. "You look so beautiful, Natalie." His eyes softened as he gazed around my face. I realized that he was looking at me differently since I told him I was pregnant. When he looked at me now, I could see forever in his eyes, and instead of it comforting me, I was terrified. I didn't know if I was capable of giving that to him. All I knew about relationships I learned from my parents and their miserable failure of a marriage.
David was the first man I ever really loved, and before I found him, I was convinced that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I'd never had a successful relationship, never had anything last. Maybe that was because I was incapable of holding on to anyone, whether I loved them or not. The thought filled me with fear and despair.
"What's wrong, Natalie?" David had a worried furrow between his brows as he studied my face. He could always read me like a book.
"I'm just really tired, David," I told him with a sigh as I tried to smile. At least, that wasn't a lie, since I couldn't tell him how I was actually feeling. He seemed so calm and sure about us and this baby, that I didn't have the heart to tell him my fears and doubts. I didn't want to hurt him. I already did enough of that over the weekend before I told him about the baby.
"Do you need to lie down for a little while before dinner?" He brushed some stray hairs out of my face with a gentle caress. "I can keep it warm for you until you're ready to eat."
"Okay," I whispered as I fought tears again. He took such good care of me, and it made me feel ashamed of my doubts and insecurities. "I'll just take a nap on the couch for a bit."
He walked me out to the living room and kissed me softly before I laid down on the sofa. "I'll get you a blanket, sweetheart." He left for a moment, then returned and tucked a soft fleece blanket around me, his face filled with affection.
"Thank you," I whispered as I smiled up at him. I didn't deserve such a good man. "I love you, David." I fought the urge to weep again. Fortunately, he didn't notice this time. My acting skill must be improving.
"I love you too."
After he left the room, a few tears managed to escape my control. I was such a mess right now. Luckily, before I ended up a blubbering mess that David would have definitely noticed, fatigue crashed down on me, and I fell into a blessed stress-free sleep.
***********
I was sick again Wednesday morning, and work was a bear since it was the last day before the long holiday weekend. I didn't get to talk to Maggie since I forgot that she had taken Wednesday off, and I was too cowardly to call her just yet. David texted me at work to check on me constantly. I know he was worried about me, but I was starting to think that he thought I was too stupid to take care of myself. I did my best to be understanding, given his history, but my irritation with him just kept building.
By the time Thanksgiving day came around, my state of mind hadn't improved at all. I woke up nauseous and sick yet again. I sat in bed alone eating crackers and sipping ginger ale while David went for a run. I decided I'd never eat or drink either of them ever again after this pregnancy was over. Of course, that thought led to panic about becoming a mother, which naturally led to more crying. So when David came in after his morning run, he found me sobbing in a ball in his bed.
"Natalie?" he said softly as he placed his hand gently on my cheek. I opened my eyes to see him squatting next to the bed, and looking at me with deep concern in his eyes. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
"I...I'm so tired of feeling sick, David," I mumbled out through my tears. I sounded pathetic, but I didn't even care. "I never want to see another box of crackers or a can of ginger ale, for as long as I live." My sobs became harder and David kissed my forehead and left my side, telling me he would be right back. A few minutes later, he returned to sweep me up in his arms and carry me into the bathroom with him.
He lowered me gently into the warm bath water he had run for me in the tub. A moment after that, he was kneeling next to the bathtub, where he gently washed me from head to toe until I was done crying. His care made me feel guilty about my annoyance with his text messages over the last two days. I knew he was just trying to take care of me.
When he was done he drained the dirty water and refilled the tub with clean warm water. I sank gratefully down to my chin in the blessed warmth, feeling almost normal for the first time in days.
"Do you feel better now, sweetheart?" David brushed his fingers down my cheek and smiled softly.
"I do," I murmured happily. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He kissed my forehead then stood up. "You soak for a bit, and I'll be back."
I nodded and watched him walk out, then submerged myself completely under the water. The absolute silence was comforting. I just wished it was that easy to quiet my mind and its whirring thoughts. I stayed under as long as I was able, then popped up out of the water and let my head fall back on the side of the tub. I closed my eyes and let the warm soothing water lull me into a stupor. I lie there until the water cooled enough for me to feel a little chilled
.
I sat up with a deep sigh and pulled the lever to drain the tub. I stood and grabbed the clean towel David had left for me. I dried myself off and stepped out of the bathtub. I was just about to wrap the towel around my body, when I paused to look in the mirror. I looked tired and a little pale. My breasts still looked huge to me, and they were extremely sore today. I pressed my hands to my belly. It was still flat and didn't look any different. I found it hard to imagine that there was a baby inside me, and it was almost possible to believe that none of this was real.
"You look beautiful, Natalie," David said softly as he came up behind me and wrapped his strong arms around my waist. He laid his warm hands over mine, where they were still resting on my belly. He nuzzled his nose into my neck, heedless of my damp hair. I sighed in pleasure at the feel of his bare chest against my back, his chest hair tickling me in a delightful way. I sagged into his embrace, grateful for his comforting arms. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?" His lips brushed against my skin.
"I'm tired, but I'm okay," I said in a weary tone.
"Good. We have to leave to go to my mom's house in an hour or so. We'll spend a few hours there, and then go to your mom's townhouse for dinner." He ran his fingertips up my arms softly. "Then I'm going to take you home and ravage your gorgeous body all night long," he said in a low sexy tone that made my clit throb. I couldn't wait. I needed an escape and a release from all of my stress. What better way, then to come until I passed out tonight from David's skilled hands and body?
"Sounds like the best Thanksgiving ever." I managed a genuine smile as I turned in his embrace and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Especially that last part," I added seductively as I watched his eyes darken with lust. He pressed his lips to mine and delved his tongue into my mouth for a moment as he gave me a fiery kiss that ended much too soon when he pulled away.
"I'll shower while you get ready." His face softened into a gentle smile. He let go of me and turned toward the tub. He pulled the shower curtain closed and started the shower. He faced me again, and I watched in fascination as he lowered his running pants, baring his nude body to me. I'd never get over how beautiful his body was, and that it was mine to touch and to have whenever I liked. His huge cock was gorgeously erect as I stared at it, longing to put it in my mouth, but also knowing that waiting would make everything feel that much better later.
"You're rubbing off on me," I told him as I lifted my gaze to his amused eyes.
"How's that?" he asked as he opened the shower curtain.
"I've totally bought into your delayed gratification crap," I said in a mock grumble as I smiled at him.
"I'm one hell of a salesman, aren't I?" He looked smug as he turned toward the shower. I surged forward and smacked his ass before he moved out of my reach. He gave me a hard look and an arched brow, which I ignored.
"Don't get cocky," I growled at him with a smirk as he stepped into the shower and turned to look at me again.
He smiled wickedly as he glanced down as his still erect penis. "Too late, sweetheart." Then he winked at me.
"Shut up and take a shower." I pointed at him with a stern expression, then closed the shower curtain in his face. His answering laugh was low and almost irresistibly sexy. I fled the bathroom to get dressed before I decided to climb into the shower and let him ravage me now. Our Thanksgiving plans be damned.
***********
"I'm really nervous, David," I blurted out as he stopped his Audi in his mother's driveway just before eleven o'clock. "What if they figure it out, and think I tricked you into getting me pregnant?"
"Natalie," he took my hand and squeezed it. "No one is going to know that you're pregnant, and even if they did, none of them would think that. I promise. "
"How do you know that?" I asked in exasperation. "Your sister told me she thought as much when I met her."
"She knows better than that now," he explained patiently. "She knows that we love each other, and besides, she likes you."
"Really?" I asked in disbelief. Diana had been pretty hostile toward me when I met her. I figured she was mostly tolerating me since I was with David, and he wouldn't let her get away with treating me like crap again.
"Sweetheart," he said softly and lifted my palm up to his lips for a brief kiss. "She's the reason I came back to you after I left you at the wedding."
"She is?"
"Yeah," he whispered as he looked at me with adoration shining in his eyes. "She convinced me that I couldn't let what Paige did to me ruin the rest of my life. She made me realize that I didn't have to be alone anymore. I think she knew I loved you, before I even realized it."
It made me happy that his sister liked me. She was important to him, and I didn't want to be on her bad side. I grinned broadly at him, but then it faltered as I thought about what was going to happen when his mother found out I was pregnant.
"David?" I pursed my lips for a moment as fear pressed in on me again. "What will your mother think of me when she finds out? I don't want to her to think I'm some kind of whore or something."
"Natalie," he breathed out as exasperation started to color his words. "She would never think that. She got pregnant with Diana and I when she was sixteen, for God's sake. This is nothing compared to that. None of my family will think less of you because you're carrying our baby. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they loved you even more for it." His voice dropped to a soft whisper. "I know I do."
I felt tears sting my eyes at his sweet words. "You do?" I asked quietly.
He turned toward me and cradled my face in his hands. "I know this isn't what either of us planned, but I'd like to think that this is something we were going to do eventually anyway. We just got pushed into it far sooner than expected." He moved his left hand down to rest gently on my belly. "This baby is half you and half me, and it came out of our love. So yes, I love you even more for this gift that you're carrying for both of us."
He called our baby a gift, and here all I had been thinking was that this was a nightmare that I wasn't ready for, and how it affected me. I hadn't even managed to think of this baby as a person yet. I felt small and ashamed of myself for thinking that way. Was that how Paige felt when she was pregnant with David's baby? It was just another reason that I wasn't good enough to be a mother to anyone. A few tears glided down my face, and fortunately David thought it was in response to his sweet words to me.
"I love you so much, Natalie," he whispered as he wiped my tears away.
"I love you too," I managed to mutter as I fought off a sob of despair. I shoved everything back down inside with a hard push that left an achy feeling deep in my heart. I had to keep this to myself since Paige had already done enough damage to him. I couldn't let David know how I felt, or it would crush him, and doing that to him would destroy me too.
David gave me a few moments to calm down, and when he finally asked if I was ready, I forced a smile and nodded with a certainty I didn't really feel at all. When we walked into the house, we were both greeted enthusiastically, and I was given hugs and kisses on the cheek by everyone, his sister included. I felt like a part of David's family, and it managed to improve my mood considerably.
Fortunately, by the time the meal was served, my stomach had settled down, and I was finally feeling hungry. The food was delicious, and it was the nicest Thanksgiving meal I had ever sat through. I still had a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that all these people got along all the time. I hoped that David and I could manage that with our family. Family. The word inside my mind made panic leap up inside me again, and since the meal was winding down, I excused myself to use the bathroom, so I could pull myself together. As I stood to leave, I caught Baba looking at me with the same furrow between her brows that David had when he was worried about me. Shit, could she tell I was pregnant? I skated my eyes past her face and fled the room.
I spent more time in the bathroom then I needed, trying to calm the raging storm of emotions in my poor head. Putting on a brave face and prete
nding that I was fine was starting to weigh on me. I didn't know how much longer I could keep this up. When I looked in the mirror, I still thought that I looked a little pale and dark circles were starting to show under my eyes. I wished I brought some makeup with me to try to cover them. I finally emerged into the family room to find Baba there leaning against the pool table.
"I'm sorry that I took so long in the bathroom, Baba," I said apologetically, hoping that was the only reason she was waiting in here.
"That's alright, kokhana," she said kindly as she stepped closer to me with a warm smile. "Kokhana means 'sweetheart' by the way," she explained as she reached out and took both of my hands in hers. Baba eyed me up and down carefully, spending a long moment on my belly. Then her smile widened as she met my gaze and her eyes sharpened in a knowing way. Oh shit, she knew. "Does David know?" she finally asked as she squeezed my hands reassuringly.
"Yes," I whispered in resignation. What was the point in lying? "But I'm not ready to tell everyone else yet." I gave her a pleading look, hoping she would keep this to herself.
"Ah," she nodded in understanding. "Your secret is safe with me, Natalie. I won't tell a soul until you're ready."
"Thank you," I said with sheer relief. I wasn't ready to face everyone finding out today. I was barely handling this pregnancy myself.
"Are you alright, kokhana?" she asked me as she studied my face.
Damn it, I could feel tears forming again. "I'm scared, Baba," I whispered pathetically. She immediately pulled me into her arms and held me, rubbing comforting circles on my back. It was all I could do to keep from breaking down completely again as a few tears flowed down my cheeks.
"Shh," she soothed me. "Don't worry, Natalie. It's just a baby, not the end of the world."
"It feels like it," I replied wearily.
She leaned back and looked up into my eyes with kindness and understanding. "I know, but my David will take care of you. He loves you so very much. Don't worry, kokhana. You'll be okay." She placed her hand on my cheek.
You Are My Life: Breathless Book 3 Page 5
