by M. Sembera
Hopping off the bed I passed him, and headed across the hall.
I looked back for a second, asking, “Are you coming?”
He shook his head, saying, “Yea,” with a half-smile on his face.
Apparently, I ordered way more than I realized. There was stuff everywhere.
“Oh my gosh,” I blurted before looking around and admitting, “I had no idea there was this much.”
Hert offered, “Okay, let’s get this going. Where do you want the dresser?”
Pointing to the far wall by the bathroom, I said, “Over there, wait! Where are my sheets?”
Looking at the empty box, he said, “I put them in the washer for you. I know what I’m doing. Let’s get this done I’m making dinner tonight.”
Knowing this was a necessary chore and there would be plenty of time for torture later, I got busy.
After everything was done and we finally got the bed made I had to admit, “I’m kinda tired. Thank you for helping me but I have to take a nap.”
Hert gave a little laugh, saying, “Okay, I’m going to take a shower then start dinner.”
Smiling at him, I climbed into bed and noticed he wasn’t leaving.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Walking to my bedside, he questioned, “You didn’t overdo it or anything did you?”
Touched that he was checking on our baby, I placed my hand on belly, assuring, “Nope, I’m just tired.”
Sliding his hand over mine, he smiled, saying, “Alright get some rest.”
I smiled back at him, brushing my fingers against his arm.
Sitting up, I put one arm around his neck, then the other. Kneeling in front of him, I pressed my cheek into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, resting one hand on my back and the other on the side if my head. It was a very different feeling. Desperately wanting this to go farther than an embrace and at the same time, I was perfectly content.
As if at any point it would be too much for either of us, I quietly asked, “What are you making for dinner?”
The question seemed to break the moment as he slowly pulled away and I lay down.
He answered, “Steak sound good?”
Curling up onto my pillow, I replied, “Very,” as I closed my eyes.
The whole house smelled delicious when I woke. Making my way to the bathroom, I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair into a ponytail. Slowly walking down the stairs before making my way through the living room, it smelled even better when I reached the kitchen.
Hert looked up from the stove and said, “I already set the table, you can go in there if you want.”
Pulling up a chair in the kitchen, I said, “I’ll wait for you. It smells so good.”
He smiled before offering, “Everything’s almost done. Do you want to grab the plates off the table? We can fix our plates in here.”
Hopping up, I walked to the dining room to find lit candles and an ice bucket with sparkling grape juice in it. I grabbed the plates and walked back into the kitchen, setting them on the counter by the stove. Hert put steaks potatoes and vegetables on our plates.
We sat down at the table. Hert poured me sparkling juice and we started to eat.
Taking a bite, I complimented, “Oh my gosh, this is so good Hert.”
Laughing a little, he asked, “Why do you sound so surprised?”
Shaking my head, I laughed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you could make anything other than bologna sandwiches for dinner,” before taking a look around and adding, “Everything looks really nice too,” then taking a second bite, I asked, “Are we celebrating something?”
Raising his glass, he suggested, “Call it a victory dinner.”
I almost choked when I heard the words come out of his mouth.
Wide eyed, I looked at him as he continued, “There’s no way I can compete with what you have on.”
Not thinking it through, I stated, “You gave up too easy, seeing you in just a towel….”
I couldn’t finish knowing my face was turning red.
Hert leaned his head toward me, raising an eyebrow as he questioned, “Is that right? I would have won? And seeing me in a towel just what?”
Taking a big bite of my steak, I held up my finger while chewing, giving myself time to think.
“Too late! You already said I won, no take backs!” I shouted.
Hert laughed, “Geez, what are you twelve?”
Making a face at him, I proclaimed, “I only said you gave up too easy. I still would have won!”
Suddenly flustered at the thought of his towel, I stared at my plate finishing my dinner quietly.
Leaning back in my chair, I let out a sigh and said, “That was really good, I am super full.”
Hert smiled and suggested, “Why don’t you go sit on the couch. I’ll clean up in here.”
Picking up the plates, I said, “I’ll help clean up. After all you cooked.”
He followed me to the kitchen.
At the sink, I washed while Hert dried the dishes.
It took a few minutes before Hert broke the silence to inform me, “Roberts called earlier and asked how you were doing.”
“Oh yea,” I said, continuing to wash dishes.
He stopped drying for a second to say, “I told him you were doing good but he seems to think I should keep an eye on Jackson around you.”
Dropping a plate, I gasped, “What?!”
Hert continued, informing, “Well, I guess Jackson called him this morning and said, well, just that you were lookin’ good and he thinks you’re into him.”
Rolling my eyes, I laughed, “Jacks thinks every girl is into him.”
Hert was suddenly serious as he interrogated me, asking, “So I wasn’t interrupting yesterday when he had his arm around you? And there was nothing to his ‘maybe later’ comment?”
Infuriated, I turned to him, shouting, “No! You weren’t interrupting. In fact, I was grateful when you walked in getting me out of a very uncomfortable situation! But I see what’s going on! Do you have a list? If you do there’s no one on it I want! First it was Em, now Jackson. Is there anybody else you want to question me about? I’ve only been with one person Hert!”
Taking a step back, he shook his head seemingly full of regret.
Showing no mercy, I added, “And feel free to add yourself to the list.”
Throwing the dishrag at him, I ran upstairs to my room.
It didn’t take long for him to follow me. Stepping into my room, he stood right inside the doorway.
“Renni I’m sorry,” he tried to apologize.
Not wanting to hear what he had to say, I yelled, “Just get out!”
Hert didn’t move.
Again, I yelled, “Get out!”
Disregarding my orders to leave my room, he walked to the bed.
“Please Renni, I’m sorry,” he begged.
Crossing my arms, I shook my head.
He continued to plead, “Renni, I…”
Throwing a pillow at him, I cried, “Leave me alone.”
Standing his ground, he stated, “No.”
Staring at him with disbelief, I repeated, “Leave me alone.”
Still not budging, he stated, “No.”
I shouted, “Fine!” before rolling over and turning my back on him.
I thought maybe he left until I felt the bed move.
Curling up into my pillow, I felt his arm around me pulling me towards him. Sliding his other arm under me, I was dragged against him.
Holding my back firmly to his chest, he whispered, “Renni.”
All I could say was, “Don’t.”
He continued anyway, saying, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose you again.”
Fighting the urge to cry, I mumbled, “You hurt my feelings.”
Tightening his hold, he explained, “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just don’t want there to be anyone else.”
I breathed, “There isn't.”
Loosening his arms, he asked, “Will you please look at me?”
Shaking my head, I didn’t move.
Hert sat up and asked again, “Please look at me.”
Rolling onto my back, I stared into his eyes. He lightly touched my cheek. Instantly, he had my attention.
Whispering, “What?” I couldn’t move.
His fingers trailed down my neck and back to my cheek.
Desperate for him to say something, I breathed, “Hert,” stopping his hand with mine.
Sighing, I closed my eyes, pressing his hand onto my cheek. I couldn’t understand. I had offered myself to him. Made it clear I wanted him and always there was nothing in return. Until, I opened my eyes.
Hert’s expression was unwavering, and with more urgency than I could comprehend, he tenderly said, “Renni, I love you.”
I moved his hand away from my face, asking, “You do?”
Lying down next to me, he placed both hands under my chin tilting my head up before confirming, “Yes, I love you.”
Placing my hands against Hert’s face I responded in a whisper, “I love you.”
Sliding his fingers through my hair, he gently moved me to his chest. Nothing else needed to happen. Hert said he loved me and meant it.
Chapter 10
Thinking it was the middle of the night, I didn’t open my eyes. Feeling my hair being brushed away from my face, I knew Hert was still in my room. I kept my eyes closed pretending to sleep. His lips lightly touched my forehead as he quietly got up and left the room. When I was sure he was gone, I opened my eyes. Grabbing the pillow Hert was laying on, I hugged it tight. It smelled like him and sent a variety of vivid images to my mind.
While I worked hard at falling back asleep, wanting the morning to quickly arrive, I thought of things I would say to Hert. Understanding now the advice Emerson gave me before he left. Em must have known all along how Hert felt about me. I decided to take my time letting Hert acquire me at his own pace.
When I woke again at eight in the morning, I enjoyed a long shower. After getting dressed, I headed down the stairs and into the kitchen. Hert was at the stove cooking breakfast.
Hearing me enter the room, he turned slightly, saying, “Morning. Hey, a package came for you.”
Seeing a box on the table marked overnight special delivery, I said, “I’ll open it later.”
Appearing curious, he asked, “What is it?”
Trying to down play the contents, I answered, “Oh, just some stuff I needed.”
With a suspicious look Hert asked, “Are you hungry?”
Hoping he wouldn’t be disappointed, I replied, “Um, no I’m really not.”
He looked surprisingly okay with it, so I pulled one of the barstools up to where he was and sat down.
“Wow you made a lot. Sorry, I’m not hungry,” I apologized.
“It’s okay, Jackson’s coming over,” he laughed.
Smiling a little, I teased, “Oh, then I don’t feel so bad since you weren’t making it for me.”
Raising an eyebrow, he suggested, “Oh, by the way, you might want to put your box of panties away before he gets here.”
Refusing to be caught, I pretended, “What?”
Laughing again, he advised, “You know, if you use someone’s computer, you might want to log off when you’re done.”
Turning red, I nodded and looked away.
Hert was laughing louder as he said, “You really do play to win.”
Not being able to help it, I laughed too, saying, “Shut up.”
Hert turned the burners off and stepped closer to me.
“Before Jackson gets here, I uh…” he started to say.
Before I could figure out what he was saying, my face was in his hands and his lips were gently against mine. Instantly overcome, it ended too soon.
As he pulled away, he whispered, “I love you.”
I couldn’t move. Staring at him, I sat there overwhelmed. Nothing in my life could be compared to that kiss.
Finally regaining my composure, I asked, “Does Jackson have to come over?”
His smile was almost triumphant as he said, “He’s already on his way but he’s not staying all day.”
Hert seemed to finally realize he was the one I wanted.
Helping me off of the bar stool, he held my hand. When I was on my feet, I wrapped my arms around his waist resting my head on his chest.
Kissing the top of my head, Hert asked, “How’s our little one this morning?”
Hugging him tighter, I answered, “Good.”
Slowly letting go of him, I walked over, picked up my package and headed upstairs.
By the time I made it back to the kitchen, Jackson was at the table eating breakfast. I couldn’t take my eyes off Hert. Watching his lips with every word he spoke, I wished we were alone. Politely smiling and laughing with Jacks, I wanted him to leave. Frustrated by Jackson’s presence, I wondered if I would be as unhappy when Emerson returned. As Jackson rambled on about the girl he took home from The Bar, the night he and Hert went out, the phone rang.
Standing up, I said, “I’ll get it,” and walked over, answering the phone.
Hert looked up as I announced, “Its Em,” taking the phone to the other room.
“Hey Ren,” his voice was happy.
I responded, asking, “Hey Em, how are you?”
Still happy Emerson said, “Good! How are you and Hert?”
My heart fluttered at his use of our names together.
“Pretty good, things seem to be a… working out,” I replied, editing just in case I could be overheard.
I asked, “When are you coming back?”
His voice didn’t sound as happy as he answered, “That is actually why I called. It looks like I’m going to be here another week, maybe more but I can come right home if you need me too.”
With mixed emotions, I said, “We really are good, me and Hert. Are you going to be back in time for my appointment?”
Emerson replied, “I should be. Oh, my parents wanted to know when you and Hert are getting married.”
Stunned, I questioned, “What did you tell them?”
He quickly answered, “That I didn’t know. They were asking so they could be back for it. I told them whenever you did they would get an invitation. What did you want me to say Ren?”
Panicked, I blurted, “I don’t know Em. This was your plan.”
Em declared, “We will figure something out when I get back. Hey, I need to go, Ren, love you.”
I replied, “Love you too, Em,” and hung up.
Walking back into the kitchen I was anxious. I knew I loved Hert and he loved me, but marriage seemed so scary, considering we had our first kiss this morning. I tried to be calm and join their conversation.
Jackson took one look at me and asked, “Are you okay?”
Nodding, I sat down.
Hert had a worried look as he asked, “Do you feel sick? What’s wrong?”
Still trying to calm myself, I answered, “No, I’m fine. Em said he might be gone another week or so. I think I just need to eat something.”
Hert fixed me a plate not quite buying my story.
Quickly eating, I said, “I think I’m going to go lay down.”
As I walked out, Hert followed me, stopping me at the foot of the stairs.
His voice was quiet, “Renni?”
Putting my hand on his shoulder, I assured, “I’m okay.”
Upstairs I went straight to my room and laid down. All my good feelings of the day vanished. What was I going to do? I wanted him badly, loved him completely. People would be expecting us to get married. What if he didn’t want to marry me? After all, we both had vowed never to get married but now things were different. At least they were for me. Even as immersed in HIS life as I was, marriage was never a thought. Now, I had a strange new desire to be someone’s wife. At the same time, I was feeling pressured and rushed. Even if Hert and I did things right, took our time falling in love and even
tually got married, it would look like we did everything wrong. No one else would know decisions were made, plans put into effect. Staring to cry, I placed my hands on my belly silently assuring my little stranger everything would alright. Getting up, I went into the bathroom. Trying to wash away the tears that didn’t want to stop, I threw the washcloth into the sink. I laid back down, curling up into my pillow letting my tears flow.
Eventually, the tears stopped. I sat up in bed, wiping my eyes, trying to regain my composure. There was a light tap on my door. Lying back down, I covered my head with the comforter. Hearing my door open, I hoped Hert would think I was sleeping and walk out. He would want to know why I was crying and what would I say? I want you to marry me but at the same time, I don’t want it to be because I’m pregnant. I want to be married before I have the baby but I want it to be because that’s what we both want not because it goes along with Em’s plan. It sounded so stupid in my head.
The covers were moved away from my head as Hert said, “Jackson left. Renni, what’s wrong?”
Sitting up, I tried, “I think I’m just having a bad day.”
Clearly, he wasn’t buying my excuse.
“Did Roberts say something to upset you? Are you sad because he’s staying away longer?” he questioned.
Feeling the need to just get it over with, I answered, “Yea, but I’m okay with him being gone. Something he said, I don’t know, just really got to me.”
Concerned, he asked, “What did he say?”
Taking a deep breath, I explained, “Em said his parents wanted to know when we were getting married.”
Surprised, he blurted, “Oh!” before giving a confused look and asking, “Why did that bother you?”
Shrugging, I laid back down.
Raising an eyebrow and slightly smiling, he probed, “Do you want to get married?”
Not knowing what to say, I shouted, “No!” then promptly taking it back, I said, “Well, yes but no. Not like this. I mean, if I did want to, I would want it to be because… well, I wouldn’t want to just to go along with a plan.”
Realizing I wasn’t making any sense, I sighed and covered my face with my hands.
Laughing, Hert said, “Okay let me see if I understand this. You don’t want to get married but if you did, you would, as long as it wasn’t part of a plan.”
