by M. Sembera
Taking a quick breath, I asked, “Mr. Roberts can I ask you something?”
Almost losing my nerve, I didn’t wait for him to answer.
“Do you tell Erin everything?” I asked.
Questioning my question, he asked, “Does Scott tell you everything?”
Admitting, “No he doesn’t tell me anything, I mean not really” before adding, “He did finally tell me about my parents.”
Mr. Roberts appeared sympathetic as he explained, “No, I do not but don’t misunderstand me, I do not lie to her either. If she were to ask me I would tell her. My wife is a special kind of person. She is able to except things for what they are and make the best of them,” as I nodded he continued, “I am sorry about your parents Rennillia. There was nothing that could be done.”
Mr. Roberts shared one more piece of information, “I love you as if you were my own, if there is anything you would like to ask me now is the time.”
A million things raced thru my mind until I said, “Why does Emerson have to take over the company for you?”
Giving me an odd expression, he stated, “I am not making him.”
Curious, I asked, “Why is he then?”
Mr. Roberts’ eyes searched mine for a moment before revealing, “Scott was supposed to take over for me. Emerson requested the opportunity so Scott could stay here with you.”
Bewildered, I couldn’t speak.
Mr. Roberts suggested, “It is best if we invite everyone in for dinner now Rennillia.”
My heart was sinking as I agreed, “Yes sir.”
We sat at the table with Mr. Roberts at the head, Emerson on his right with Erin beside her son and Jackson on his left with me beside him. Dinner was silent. Emerson refused to look in my direction. I couldn’t look at him either. Things were very unsettled between Jackson and I, and my dress seemed to make things worse.
Especially when Erin broke the silence to say, “Doesn’t Rennillia look gorgeous?” and Jackson scooted his chair a little closer to Mr. Roberts.
Dinner was over and Erin asked if she could take Sophia to her room and show her what she bought her, assuring she would put her to bed for me. Not long after Mr. Roberts and Emerson went upstairs too. Standing at the kitchen sink I washed the dishes from dinner, wondering if I could fix things before Hert returned.
I heard Jackson say, “Ren, I need to talk to you,” as he walked up beside me.
The expression on his face was more serious than cheerful when I looked over at him.
Jackson leaned against the counter, stating, “So we are just going to ignore each other now.”
Instinctively, I lied, saying, “I wasn’t ignoring you. Is that what you were doing?” still feeling I could get a handle on the situation.
Almost scolding, Jackson informed, “We have been friends for a long time Ren and if you want us to stay friends you can’t wear things like that,” motioning to my dress.
Snapping back, I said, “Erin bought it for me today and asked me to wear it at dinner. What was I supposed to do? Did you want me to tell her I can’t look nice because it makes Jackson uncomfortable?”
Jackson stepped closer lowering his voice, “You know damn good and well nice isn’t how you look.”
Starting to feel nervous, I said, “You always have something to say when I’m dressed up.”
Narrowing his eyes at me, Jackson shared, “This is different.”
Folding my arms in front of my chest, I asked, “Since when is it different?”
Stepping a little closer to me Jackson replied, “Since today. Since this afternoon…Since I went from wantin’ to get with you to wantin’ just to be with you.”
Taking a breath, I implored, “I can’t do this.”
Jackson replied, “Oh, and I can?”
Fighting the urge to cry, I asked, “What do you want me to do?”
Taking a step back, he assured, “You don’t want me to answer that.”
He was right, I didn’t. All I could do was walk away.
Chapter 15
Sitting on the floor, I was in an empty room with the exception of four chairs that surrounded me. On each chair was a card. I picked up the card from the chair right in front of me marked LOVE, when I read it Hert appeared in the chair. Curious I picked up the card at my right marked LOYALTY, when I read it Emerson appeared. Picking up the card to my left marked LONGING, I read it and Jackson appeared. Turning to pick up the card from the chair behind me, I saw the three of them stand, cautioning me not to read it. I stood up taking a step closer to Hert. Reaching out to touch him he disappeared. Turning to Emerson I tried to speak and he disappeared. Shaking my head I glanced at Jackson and he was gone too. Without thinking, I turned to the chair behind me reading the card marked, LOSS. HE appeared and I instantly fell to the floor unable to breath.
With a giant gasp, I woke frantically looking around. Immediately relieved to see Sophia’s crib, I got up and walked to the bathroom. Washing my face, I stared at myself in the mirror. My heart was still pounding. I considered going to Emerson’s room and trying to explain myself. Then I thought of Jackson, I did feel different towards him. Still staring into the mirror I took a deep breath exhaling loudly and decided to lay back down. I stayed in bed, unable to fall back asleep, soon I heard Sophia wake up.
It wasn’t long before there was a knock at my door.
Erin cracked the door, politely asking, “May I come in?”
I replied, “Yes ma’am,” and she walked in.
More cautious than usual she asked, “May Mason and I take Sophia to get her picture taken?”
Shocked, I shouted, “What!”
Erin calmly smiled, stating, “She will be perfectly safe with us. We would never put her in harm’s way and we are going out of town to have them made, that is if it is alright with you.”
I knew Sophia would be safe with them. Hesitantly agreeing, I handed her to Erin’s out stretched arms.
She reassured, “I promise she will be fine.”
Turning back to me as she walked out of the room Erin suggested, “It might be good for you to have a day for yourself.”
I walked over to them kissing Sophia and telling Erin, “Yes, it might.”
Taking a shower and getting dressed, I really didn’t know what to do with myself. With no Hert and Sophia gone for the day, I decided to go back to bed. After trying very hard to fall back asleep, I got back up realizing it wasn’t going to happen. Walking down the hallway, I looked at Emerson’s door and thought about opening it. I didn’t and continued downstairs.
The living room was empty so I walked into the kitchen. Jackson was at the table eating a bowl of cereal.
When he saw me Jackson stood up and offered, “Want a bowl of cereal?”
Shaking my head at him, I asked, “Did Em go with them?”
Placing his bowl in the sink, Jackson answered, “No, he went in to The Office.”
Making an effort, I suggested, “After the people come to carpet the stairs, you wanna play cards or somethin’?”
He smiled saying, “Sure,” making me feel better.
Once the stairs were carpeted and the workmen left, I grabbed the cards placing them on the coffee table as I sat on the floor.
Smiling up at Jackson, I asked, “What do you wanna play?”
Laughing and smiling wide, he said, “Up the river down the river.”
Shaking my head at him, I stated, “Uh, No.”
He laughed a little more before suggesting, “Go fish?”
I gave a quick nod as he sat down on the floor. Jackson picked up the cards.
While he shuffled them he questioned, “Are we ever going to talk about this?”
Playing dumb, I asked, “Talk about what?”
He set the cards back down on the table saying, “I’m serious Ren.”
I didn’t know what to tell him.
Feeling anxious, I left it to him saying, “Okay, then talk.”
Jackson scooted closer and started
by saying, “I’ve always had a thing for you Ren and there was a time when I would have said or done anything to get with you,” pausing for a minute he continued, “Or maybe not. I don’t know. All I know is, I don’t feel like that now.”
Quietly, I asked, “What do you feel like now?”
Shaking his head, he shrugged and said, “I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m just now realizing it or if it’s something new but I feel different about you.”
I knew exactly what he meant.
Feeling it was only fair, I took my turn, “I feel different too but it doesn’t really matter because I’m not going to betray Hert.”
Jackson moved right next to me saying, “I’m not asking you to.”
Confused, I said, “So then what is the point of all this?”
Jackson leaned closer and offered, “I know you’re with Hert but I think you can still love someone without being with them”
Searching his eyes for hidden agenda’s he appeared to be sincere.
Jackson stared at me as he stood up right in front of me. Keeping eye contact, he reached out, pulling me to my feet before placing his hands on my waist, slowly guiding me against him. Sliding his hands to the middle of my back, he softly pressed them onto me. Placing my hands on his chest I rested my cheek against him as his hands moved farther up my back and his hold was around my shoulders. Moving my hands against him, I wrapped my arms around him. I closed my eyes squeezing him tight and then we both let go.
Mr. Roberts, Erin, and Sophia arrived home right before dinner. I was so happy to see her. I instantly took her in my arms and snuggled her close. Erin informed me that her pictures would be mailed to the house and she smiled in every one.
Talking to Sophia, I said, “You did! What a big girl you are!”
Mr. Roberts walked in the living room saying, “Rennillia, Jackson, can I speak to you in the dining room please?” and quickly walked out.
Erin offered to take Sophia as I looked at Jackson who appeared just as confused as I was. We walked into the dining room.
Mr. Roberts looked at me and said, “Emerson will be home in a few minutes. I have arranged for our driver to take you to the institution to see Ms. Herterand and for Sophia to be able to go with you also.”
I was thrilled.
Almost hugging him, I jumped forward exclaiming, “Thank you so much!”
Mr. Roberts looked at Jackson and said, “Emerson will accompany Rennillia and Sophia tonight. I need you to go with me tomorrow to The Office and…” he stopped speaking and looked at me.
Not needing to be asked to step out, I smiled and left the room.
Racing into the living room I hugged Erin saying, “Thank you! Thank you!”
Erin smiled wide, chirping, “You are very welcome dear.”
She handed me the diaper bag and Sophia. I walked into the kitchen and saw Emerson walking in the back door.
Stopping immediately, I asked, “Are you ready?”
He didn’t speak, turning and walking out of the back door. I followed him to the car. Securing Sophia in her car seat, I slipped into the back seat next to Emerson.
It was a long ride out to the institution. Sophia was sleeping soundly so I took the opportunity to try and settle things between Emerson and me.
Glancing over at him, I asked, “How was The Office today?” as he stared out the car window.
In a matter of fact tone, he stated, “Fine.”
Thinking ‘at least he spoke to me’, I continued, “I didn’t mean what I said. At least not the way it came out. Please stop being mad at me.”
Never looking at me, he snapped, “I am not mad at you. You are the one who stopped talking to me. You didn’t want to be friends anymore. You are Hert’s wife. Hert is my friend so I will treat you accordingly, Rennillia.”
Swallowing hard, I was put right into my place. The rest of the ride was silent.
Arriving at the institution Emerson escorted me into the building. Instead of heading to the second floor, the night receptionist pointed to a room down the corridor. We walked into the tiny room and I sat down and waited, holding Sophia while Emerson stood at the door until Ms. Herterand was wheeled in.
Emerson stepped out of the room after saying, “Good evening Ms. Herterand.”
As always there was no expression on her face.
I explained, “I’m sorry Emerson is here with me. There was no other way for me to come but his father arranged for me to bring Sophia so you could meet her,” holding Sophia up so she could see her.
Ms. Herterand stated, “She favors you. She is lovely,” as I smiled at her, she continued saying, “Why didn’t my son bring you? He was here yesterday.”
My previous thought of ‘he’s away on business’ vanished as I said, “I’m sorry; did you say he was here yesterday?”
Stone faced as always she informed, “Yes, he said you were sorry you couldn’t make it.”
Feeling very hurt and angry, I questioned, “Are you sure it was yesterday?”
She answered again, “Yes.”
Working at keeping my composure, I smiled saying, “Oh, well okay. How have you been? I’ve missed you.”
Glaring straight through me, she pressed, “You didn’t know he was here?”
Unable to lie to an emotionless woman, I conceded, “No ma’am.”
Her only response was, “Well. I am going to bed now. Thank you for bringing Sophia to see me,” and she was wheeled out of the room.
Emerson walked back in and I immediately handed him Sophia saying, “Take her. I have to talk to the receptionist.”
As he took her, I rushed past him.
At the desk, I said, “Hi, can you tell me if my husband was here yesterday?”
The lady behind the desk replied, “Yes Mrs. Herterand. He came right as I was starting my shift.”
Livid at this point, I choked out a thank you and stared back at Emerson.
He walked up beside me and asked, “Are you ready?”
I didn’t answer him, just taking Sophia from him and heading out the door, hugging her tight and kissing her forehead as I made my way back to the car. As the driver pulled away from the institution, I thought about asking him to take me someplace else. I saw no good reason why Hert could come here but not be able to call or see me. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. Leaning my head back I wondered if the situation would ever end. Would it always be like this? I was angry at myself for not asking Mr. Roberts last night ‘Where is my husband’ when I had the chance, doubtful he would share information with me again. I felt as if I were suffocating. Back home I couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. Taking Sophia inside, I spoke to no one, heading straight upstairs and into Sophia’s room. I laid her down in her crib, staring at her as she drifted back to sleep. Walking to my bed, I laid across it and decided I had had enough of everything. Before I fell asleep, I vowed to myself, I would either find out everything that was going on or leave.
Chapter 16
Restless throughout the night, I was exhausted when I woke. I got up, tended to Sophia and went downstairs. Eager to speak to Emerson I was pleased to find out Erin was leaving for the day again. Politely smiling all through breakfast, I bided my time. Jackson left first, then Erin. Mr. Roberts was still in the kitchen when I walked into the living room to confront Emerson.
Hoping to catch him off guard, I shouted, “Roberts!”
Quickly turning around, I could see the look of surprise on his face.
I started in, “Where is my husband?”
Still looking shocked, he blurted, “I don’t know!”
Instantly, I shouted, “You are a liar!” continuing to shout, “So then tell me what he’s doing? Not what the end result will be, what he’s actually doing!”
Back to his solemn expression, he stated, “I can’t tell you that.”
Narrowing my eyes at him, I replied, “That’s a lie too. You’re going to be the boss, you could tell me.”
Mr.
Roberts’ voice startled me as I heard him say, “He’s not, I still am.”
Turning to him, I questioned, “Are you going to tell me then?”
Mr. Roberts answered, “You do not need to concern yourself with anything other than taking care of your daughter and waiting for your husband to return home.”
Outraged, I stated, “I don’t work for you and you are not my father so with the utmost respect Mr. Roberts, you don’t get to tell me what I should and shouldn’t concern myself with.”
Never changing his tone, he replied, “You are correct Rennillia. If I was your father, your mother would still be alive and you would not have taken up with that degenerate thug.”
Feeling as if I had been punched in the heart, I stood there stunned for a moment before picking Sophia up and going back to her room. Setting Sophia in her crib I turned the mobile on so she would have something to look at while I curled up on the bed and silently cried. Burying my face in the pillow, I couldn’t believe how much Mr. Roberts’ comment hurt me. Whether it was the truth in his statement or his matter of fact way of speaking, I was deeply wounded.
Emerson quietly entered the room. The bed slightly moved as he sat down and I felt him gently place his hand on mine.
“My father was out of line,” he consoled.
Lifting my head from the pillow, I confirmed, “But he was right.”
Emerson’s eyes were soft as he informed, “Being right doesn’t give him the right to speak to you that way.”
Shaking my head before laying it back on the pillow, I said, “I know Hert went to see his mother Friday. She told me herself.”
Emerson brushed his fingers down my cheek whispering, “I wish there was an easy way of explaining all of this.”
My eyes were filling up with tears again as I asked, “Why does Hert keep lying to me?”
Shaking his head he stood up and said, “He’s not lying to you Ren.”
Sitting up I objected, “He’s not telling me the truth.”
Sitting back down, Emerson shared, “He can’t do what he needs to do and stay here with you.”
Offended, I asked, “Why not?”
He turned away not answering.
Scooting closer to him, I said, “Why are you lying to me?”
