Cinderella Nanny (Book One of The Connor's Series)
Page 12
The heat and tension between them was like a tightrope, but she leaned to kiss him this time. Startled he let her have free reign.
When she came up for air, she was as bothered as he had been.
"Because…I don't want just a physical relationship with you."
He smiled, and squeezed her hand. "Then you do want a relationship."
"Maybe…yes…" she whispered. "But…don't rush me."
"Alright." He agreed. "I told you, you are worth waiting for."
"Good. So are you." She smiled.
It was gentle, sexy teasing, and there was nothing wrong with that, as long as she could control it. And she began to believe she could. Mitch was honorable and he wouldn't do anything inappropriate so she had nothing to worry about. Problem was, would she. She wanted him as much as he wanted her.
Lucas and Emily came out of the kitchen.
"Supper was fabulous bro." Mitch said.
"Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. Did I tell you we are going to be on one of those Chef shows? You know where you cook up stuff they invent."
"Really, when?" Mitch asked.
"A few days. We've got to practice all we can for it."
"What's the prize?"
"$20,000 and a chance to cook for a well-known celeb."
"Go for it, bro."
"We will. We should make out pretty good."
"I'm proud of you. You've really astonished me with your talents." Mitch remarked.
"Thanks. Always good to hear."
"Didn't see you in church this morning?" Mitch glanced at him.
"I know, we were up pretty late last night cooking. Just worn out. And it's only going to get worse until this is over."
"Emily how do you like working with Lucas?" Mitch asked.
"I love it. I've got a lot to learn, but we've been working together day and night practically." She confessed.
"Well, I've got to take Emily home. See you guys later."
"While, I'm thinking about it, Daniel is back. He happened to crash in Sarah's bed, so just wanted to warn you. He looks really beat this time. Okay nice meeting you Emily. Don't be a stranger." Mitch laughed.
"Thank you." Emily said shyly.
"She likes him." Sarah smiled when they left.
"How do you know?" Mitch asked.
"It's a woman kind of thing." She snickered.
"So…what did you think about the day?" He asked.
"I enjoyed myself. Mike is really beginning to fit in well here. I was worried he wouldn't at first. But maybe it's all because you are his dad and he knows it. Before, he didn't know who his dad was and it confused him. He only knew that the man his mother married was not his father. I think it's given him more confidence to know who you are. That and he loves you."
"I'm easy to love." Mitch smiled.
"Are you?"
He smiled again. "When it comes to Mike….and you!"
"Don't throw the word love around so easily. As though you can transfer it from Maria, to Claire, to me. It's too easy for you. It scares me. You just broke up with Claire, maybe you are on the rebound and don't know it. I know who I am. I am a poor teacher from West Texas and I have my feet planted firmly in the ground. You are a rich man, who happens to be the father of my nephew. A nephew I could easily loose to you. I have much to lose with you. Women come easy to you. And I….I find you irresistible. That scares me. I'm afraid of you in some ways."
"Haven't you ever heard of Cinderella?" He asked.
"I don't believe in fairy tales…"
"I didn't either, until I met you."
"What do you want from your life?"
Mitch knew she was serious and he stopped teasing her. "I used to want all the properties I could afford, all the cattle I could take care of and all the money from it, in some safe bank so I could retire someday and live happily ever after."
"And now?"
"Now, things are changing. Mike has come into my life, and you. I see myself with a family, maybe a big one, and a job that I can decide whether I want to work that day or not. I want a woman who can be true to me, and happy with just one man. I want her to work with me to make a home, and love me freely as she pleases. I don't want some stone of a woman who has a heart made of the same. I want a warm heart sleeping beside me every night. I want children, as many as my lady will have for me. I want to build my family into what I had always dreamed would be my ranch and life. Mike has taken it over with his simple and open love. I want plenty of the same. Maria opened my eyes to love, but she was incapable of sharing it with me for any length of time. I want a woman who will risk anything to share it with me. A woman who loves me…and I love her. A woman who loves God, family and country and in that order. That's what I want."
Sarah stared again.
"You're doing it again. An open invitation to a kiss." He shook his head.
"Then kiss me…" she whispered and stood up. She took his hand and she curled up into his lap, wrapping herself around him.
"My God…" He whispered, and pulled her chin up to meet his waiting lips.
It was a drugging kiss that offered everything. He raised his head and kissed the corner of her mouth, she smiled. He pulled her closer.
The more they snuggled down in the chair, the more intense things became. The tension to only kiss was driving her insane.
"You promised to only kiss me, right?" she asked in a half whisper, half plea.
"Yes….I did promise." He stared into her eyes.
"Then kiss me... here," she said and slid under him to raise her shirt and offer him her breasts.
His eyes widened, and he looked into hers. "At least we can kiss…" She said with a sexy smile.
He stared at her offering, and then turned his head in question. "You are so damned beautiful." He murmured. "So perfect. And you offer them like a sacrifice you are so willing to give. If I kiss you like this…I'll want more."
She closed her eyes and thrust her breasts toward him, "So will I." She admitted.
That admission and the trophy she offered had him slipping an arm under her to pull her flush toward his face. She inhaled a breath and his mouth covered a nipple. She sighed aloud. "I like kissing…" she said lowly. "Especially this kind of kissing."
He smiled against her. "No woman has ever offered herself like this to me."
She opened her eyes and found him staring at her. "What are you staring at?'
"The most beautiful and exotic woman in the world…" he whispered and took her nipple deep into mouth. She moaned.
She wiggled against him and felt his loud announcement from his groin. She fit herself against him there, and wiggled, he moaned lowly.
"Don't stop…," she begged.
He moved toward her slowly, and feather touched her there, she squirmed against him and he felt as though he might explode.
But this time as he lowered his head, he took her breast into his mouth and suckled against it as she bucked herself against him.
Heat radiated from them and she moved in a rhythm against him.
He flicked his tongue back and forth until she was groaning for a release from the magnificent torture he created.
Suddenly they both seemed to collapse against each other in a heated throw of ecstasy. The chair actually hopped on the concrete creating a screeching of its own.
His mouth found hers and the kiss exploded with a fire that consumed them.
As his lips went slowly down the curve of her neck, and back to the swollen nipples that begged his attention, he held her so the moonlight streamed down on her. He stared at her beauty.
"That day in the pool, you were stretched beneath me, and I was so happy when you coughed out the water and I knew you were alive. I had to kiss you, to celebrate, but I lost control. I wanted you that day. I want you every day…"
She quickly pulled her clothes around and after getting her breathing under control, she scooted away from him.
He caught his breath and bent to kiss her moist lips.
"Next time no clothes and a bed…." He said, as though it was settled between them.
Embarrassed at how hot she had been and how much she needed him, she tried to get up, but he kissed her again.
"Just relax, and let's enjoy what we shared…don't be ashamed. It's the most natural thing in the world."
"I-I….do not understand what happened." She looked so confused, so lost.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"I don't know why I seem to need your touches, your kisses. I was a hussy. I apologize. I am very ashamed. This has never happened before…"
"Never?"
"No…never." She shivered, and he covered her with his arms.
"If it's this good with clothes on, think how good it will be without them." He smiled sexily at her.
"It's not going to happen again." She informed him, and pushed away from him to sit up straight.
"Why not, for goodness sake?" He asked.
"I'm not the kind of woman you think I am. But I won't allow it to happen again. And no more kissing there. I know I offered, but I was wrong. I don't want what we have to turn ugly. I'm a woman with feelings. But what I want is what most women want…a home…a family…the good things. You don't get the good things with lust."
"Is that what you think this is? Lust?"
"Isn't it?"
"No…and it isn't ugly either. I agree, we'll go back to just kissing, and not there. If that's how you want it, but don't you realize you can't take something beautiful and make it ugly."
"What I felt…with you…because of you, I've never felt with anyone. And it makes me ashamed. And I won't sit in that chair again with you." She announced.
"The chair? What has that to do with anything?" He asked his face screwed up into a wad of frowns.
"I don't know, but every time I sit there with you…look what happens. So I won't sit there with you."
"Well we do have it pretty broken in." He laughed suddenly.
"It's not funny."
"I'm not sure I can even date you anymore. I don't want to end up like my sister."
"The only one confusing your sister with you, is you!" He nearly shouted his own emotions stirring.
"Because this is what happens to us. This same thing happened with my sister. Lust. And frankly I want more than this."
"So do I, but it's not bad for starters."
"If you are going to joke about it, let's just call this whole dating thing off." She cried. "It's not working the way it's supposed to."
"Now wait a minute. You don't mean that. It's working exactly the way it's supposed to. You are attracted to someone, you kiss, and you make love that's purely natural."
"After what I have done, I won't be able to look Mike in the eye anymore. I am ashamed." She ran off. Tears rolled down her cheeks now and she stared at him blatantly. "You don't understand."
"No…why don't you make me understand. What happened here tonight has nothing to do with your sister. I wanted you, and unless I've got my signals crossed, you wanted me."
"I did. I do. But…"
"But what?" He demanded.
She stared at him hard. Her breathing erratic. Her pulse going ninety miles an hour. "I'm a virgin. There I've said it. Now laugh at me. Make jokes, poke fun. At least I think I am. After that, I’m not so sure."
He ran after her.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked and turned her to face him.
"What difference does it make? It's not something a girl goes around announcing. I'm not proud of it, but I’m not ashamed of it either. The problem is, I don't know what to think about it."
"It makes a lot of difference. And just so you know, you are still a virgin." He clarified it.
"But how can I be. I felt something happen to me." She cried.
"Of course you did. It is called a climax. It's what usually happens when a man and a woman…are together that way. Only most of the time, there are no clothes and the bodies join."
"Then people feel this way all the time with their clothes on?" She yelled.
"Well," he thought about that a minute. "Not usually with their clothes on. And not touching each other either, but…it happened. And it's not something to be ashamed of. Didn't your mother ever talk to you about this…?"
She turned away, tears ran down her cheeks she was so full of shame now. He whirled her around to look into her face.
"Didn't she?" His voice lowered now, as though he began to see and understand.
"No, that was not a subject of discussion in our home. We have too many differences, you wouldn't understand it. I come from an old aristocratic Spanish family. To speak of such things is still a taboo in our family. Especially after Maria…"
"What about Maria?"
"I was younger, she was told not to talk about it to me." Sarah said. "When the time came for the discussion, my mother wouldn't talk to me about it. She was afraid…"
"Of what?"
He twisted his head as if in question.
"Because Maria was pregnant and she was afraid I would become pregnant too. Maria refused to talk to me because of my mother, said I would learn it naturally. My friends, I was just too embarrassed to tell them I didn't know anything. And here I am confessing it to you, a man. I must be crazy." She cried. "I know how stupid I am. I know what a fool I am. Your culture here is much different from where I was raised. We didn't own a television until I was grown as my mother said it had evil things on it. That we shouldn't watch. But I did watch to try to learn."
"I never realized this could happen this day and age. A man figures a woman knows. He assumes. I assumed. I did what I saw on television. I moved against you, like they do. I let you kiss me. And then it happened. I felt so ashamed."
"Honey…" He pulled her against him. "You have nothing to be ashamed about."
"I was given a book, at an early age, but…I didn't understand it. No one would discuss it with me. So, I threw it away, as I thought it was evil."
"Honey, you amaze me in more ways than one. If you had told me…I would never have touched you in that way." Mitch said. "Not that I didn't enjoy every moment of it."
"How could I tell you when I wanted you as much as I did? And it has only been a few days that we have known each other. I was ashamed to tell you. I should know these things. Had I told my friends they would have laughed and bullied me out of school. I could not bear you laughing at me."
"For what, being innocent? You should have been proud."
"Proud! Just like a man. A hundred years ago, maybe I could have been proud. But not today. Today women are sophisticated and well educated in the arts of making love. How can you be proud when you are twenty-three and never done it? When your friends talk about stuff and you don't even know what they mean? When your family expects you to learn it from strangers, but you don't, because you think it's some great taboo. You don't understand….And you are too embarrassed to ask"
She moved away again. "But what I am ashamed of most is that I want you to kiss me and touch me. I want it. And yet…I know somehow something isn't right about it. It scares me."
He took a quelling breath and turned her around to look into her face.
"I apologize. I am sorry. You are right. It was wrong. All wrong. But Sarah, I still want to date you. What I feel for you grows every day I'm with you. I know it's fast, too fast. I don't want to lose you. Please reconsider, and know that now…I know and I will treat you accordingly."
"So you know and you pity me for such ignorance." She wanted to scream she felt helpless at this point. "I am Mexican. I feel things. I want things. But I don't know about them. I am scared. I live in a world where others know everything. And I have to pretend I know. I have to act as though I know. I even watched television to learn, but you can't see everything, and you don't know what is going on. When you touch me, I like it. More than like it, want it, need it. But part of me says no…that is evil. But I forget the evil when you touch me. I forget I should not do these things. I forge
t I am a virgin when I am with you; I want to know what makes me want you that way. Why do I tingle when you touch me? Why did I offer myself to you just now? My blood runs hot when I am near you. The way you touch me…is so gentle, so tender. I want more. And yet a part of me…thinks I'm evil. For wanting you."
"Honey, just agree to keep dating me. It will all come around to you. I promise. I won't hurt you. And that will never happen again…unless…"
"Unless what?"
"Unless we get married. And then, everything will come natural and it won't be evil or dirty. It will be right."
"You cannot marry me. You are a rich man."
"What does that matter if you fall in love."
"You cannot promise something like that."
"Now that I know you better, I can. That's why you date someone. To get to know them better."
"But nothing will change. I will still want you every time you touch me. I will still offer myself up to you because I want you so much."
"Oh God honey, dating you is gonna be a real test of my manhood. Let me tell you. But I know this for certain. It will all be worth it. And it's good you feel that way about me, honey. Because I still want you too. It's like going around in circles. You'll always be at the same place unless you take a step further. Now that I do know you, I will protect you. I won't take that step until you are ready. You've strangely become more precious to me than ever. But I'm sure gonna have to figure out a way to keep my hands off of you."
"I will have to consider it. But promise me one thing…"
"What?"
"Do not tell anyone else."
He nodded. "I won't. No one would believe it anyway. Not this day and age."
"Will you get your brother up so I can go to bed now? And I must pray for forgiveness."
"You have nothing to forgive. Love is as natural as breathing. But, of course I will. Will you date me now?"
"Yes…." She said breathlessly. "Tell me something…"
"What?"
"Why did I feel that-that climax you spoke of?" She asked.
"It's hard to explain. Maybe you should talk to Leann about this. She could tell you easier than I." Mitch said.
"She would not laugh?"