Expelled

by Claire Adams

  “Well, it was nice of you to drop by, but we’re about to sit down to dinner—”

  Hailey’s pretty blue eyes brightened behind the thin lenses of her wire-rimmed glasses, and I could anticipate what she was about to say before she even opened her mouth.

  “I made a mess of spaghetti,” she said, sounding all kinds of excited. “There’s more than enough for three. I just need to set an extra place at the table.” She looked from me to Eric and back again. “What do you say?”

  Eric slapped his belly, his smile widening. “I say I’m hungry and it smells damned good in here!”

  Hailey’s smile grew at the words, and she looked at me, the shine in her blue eyes hopeful. “Is that okay with you, Cash?”

  Not like I could say no at this point, though the last thing I wanted was for Eric to crash our quiet dinner. I nodded reluctantly, and the two of them ran off to the kitchen, chattering back and forth while I followed, stewing in my own annoyance at the intrusion. Eric never just dropped by the ranch, and especially not at this time of night. He knew I didn’t like being bothered at the end of the day unless he’d spent it at the ranch working right along with me. Even then, I didn’t want him hanging around all damned night. I needed my private time to unwind and prepare for the following day. My normal routine after my work was done was to shower, change into something comfortable, throw together an easy meal, and eat at the table with a book open in front of me. After that, I read on the couch until it was time for bed. That was how I preferred things. I’d shifted my routine to include this time with Hailey, which I enjoyed a great deal. I wasn’t about to shift further to allow Eric to loiter about whenever the mood struck.

  “You boys sit down. The food’s just about ready.” Hailey busied herself at the stove while Eric and I sat at the only two places at the table. She brought another set of dishes and silverware to the table and set a place for herself in between us. I waited for her to return to the stove to fetch the completed dish before I spoke to Eric again.

  “Since when do you just drop by here at this time of night?” I asked in a low, urgent voice, trying to keep Hailey from overhearing what I had to say.

  Eric shrugged and didn’t try to keep his voice down when he replied. He made it louder than usual, in fact. “Since I wanted to make sure you weren’t boring poor Hailey to tears up here with your boring ass routine.”

  I scowled at him and had a fiery reply ready to launch into the middle of his smug face, but by then Hailey had returned with a pot of steaming spaghetti that she set down on a trivet in the middle of the table, next to a fresh salad and sliced French bread. The woman loved bread. We’d had it at just about every meal. At first, she’d bought it in town, but then she started making her own loaves. There didn’t appear to be anything this woman couldn’t accomplish both inside and outside the kitchen. Well, past keeping her room in order.

  “Go ahead and serve yourselves, gentlemen,” she said as she slid into her seat, her grin blazing, first at me, then at Eric.

  “I appreciate the invitation,” Eric said, reaching to help himself first.

  “You mean the invitation you received after you invited yourself over here?” I asked in a dry tone.

  Eric laughed as he dished a huge serving of saucy noodles onto his plate. “I admit I was jealous when I heard about all the meals you’ve been cooking for Cash. I wanted to see if I could get some good old-fashioned home cooking too.”

  Hailey smiled, obviously pleased by the compliment, her cheeks flushed with color. “Well, let us know if you want to come by, and we’ll set you a place.”

  “I appreciate it,” he replied and helped himself to half the salad in the bowl.

  I let Hailey serve herself next before I helped myself, the way any halfway decent man would if he was raised right, which I was. I’d barely had the chance to put some salad on my plate before Eric dove into conversation with Hailey, cutting me out completely.

  “So how’re you liking life on the ranch?” he asked, his dark eyes jumping around her face. She had on skintight jeans—she had a pair in every color, it seemed—and a button-up shirt, with the top two buttons left undone. They kept drawing my eye, and I kept stubbornly looking away from the creamy bit of skin I could see peeking out.

  “It’s great,” she said. “Very different from New York City, of course, but I love it out here.”

  “Have you gotten to experience everything the ranch has to offer in the weeks since you arrived?”

  I filled my mouth with a forkful of spaghetti to keep from cutting in on Eric, because just seeing the sly smile on his face and troublemaking sparkle in his eyes was pissing me off. I couldn’t get over how mad I was at him just turning up tonight. Now he was taking up all the space in the room, controlling the conversation and basking in the warmth of Hailey’s attention.

  Hailey shrugged one shoulder as she twirled some spaghetti around her fork. “Well, not really. I’ve mostly asked about things on the ranch, but I haven’t really done anything yet.”

  “That’s a damned shame,” Eric replied, and I liked the look in his eye even less now. I knew how he looked when he was up to something, and he was definitely up to something. I didn’t doubt that he’d had a plan in mind before he even left town to come up here. I had to cut in at this point, but I told myself to be calm about it. Hailey hadn’t seen much of me and Eric together, so she might be alarmed at the way we could go back and forth. We really were more like brothers than friends.

  “Hailey’s here to do research for one of her novels, not train to become a professional cowgirl,” I reminded him, my voice a little harsher than I meant it to be, not that anyone was paying me too much attention.

  “Well, the best research is done when you get in there and get your hands dirty,” Eric said, never looking away from Hailey. “Wouldn’t it be easier to write about something if you actually did it yourself instead of just watching somebody else do it?”

  “Yeah, that’s true,” Hailey agreed, and I stewed harder in my seat, though I kept my mouth shut this time. “Nothing beats the hands-on approach.”

  Eric’s dark eyes flashed my way for a brief couple of seconds before going right back to Hailey, his smile oozing that smarmy charm that women fell for right and left. “And even a city girl like Hailey could learn plenty on the ranch if she was willing to get her hands dirty.” He lifted his eyebrows, drawing a high laugh from her that I hadn’t heard before.

  “I definitely don’t have anything against getting my hands dirty. I might be a city girl, but I’m used to trying new things and traveling to unfamiliar places.” Hailey had a challenging shine to her eyes as she jutted her chin out, playing right into Eric’s hands.

  “Have you ever ridden a horse before?” Eric asked, lifting sandy eyebrows.

  “Not once in my life,” she replied with a shake of her head.

  Eric looked at me. “What do you say you teach this lady how to ride and rope? That’d be great for her to write about in her book, wouldn’t it? But it’s hard to write about something like that if you’ve never done it before.”

  I felt another stab of annoyance, especially when I saw how excited Hailey looked at the idea. Eric knew full well how busy my responsibilities kept me on the ranch. I hadn’t had any hired help for months since my animals fell ill and died. If I didn’t work constantly, the chores wouldn’t get done, and I’d fall further behind. I had animals that depended on me for their well-being. Not to mention I’d go hungry too if I didn’t keep bringing in money by working the fields. He’d invited this girl here without consulting me first, and now he was suggesting I start running a dude ranch for the rent she was paying me. He had some goddamned nerve.

  I kept my eyes on Eric as I answered, not wanting to see the disappointment in Hailey’s eyes once she heard what I had to say. “You know how busy I am, Eric. I can’t just let responsibilities lie untended here on the ranch while I give lessons.” I’d tried to think of a nicer way to say it, but it had
come out harsh, like most things did when I got angry. I wasn’t used to dealing with people so often. I liked my alone time. Being with Hailey by herself wasn’t bad at all, but adding Eric to the mix was getting on my last nerve.

  I could see Hailey slump in her seat but couldn’t quite look at her. “I understand, Cash,” she said, and really sounded like she meant it, even if she sounded disappointed too. “This is an intrusion on your life. I don’t want to interrupt anything you need to do during the day.”

  “Maybe there’s a way you can learn all the riding and roping you want without bothering old Cash here,” Eric said, a sly grin playing around the edges of his mouth.

  That perked Hailey right back up again. “Really?”

  “Yep. I got a mighty flexible schedule for the next couple a days. I wouldn’t mind coming up here a few times this week to teach you what you need to know where riding is concerned. As long as Cash doesn’t mind letting us use his horses.”

  They both looked at me, Hailey’s eyes shining and the look on her face so hopeful just the thought of going against what she wanted broke me. Meanwhile, Eric looked like the fox that just had himself a good old time in the henhouse, filling his belly to his heart’s content. He knew I couldn’t say no now that Hailey was so excited. It burned me to realize that I was actually jealous of Eric. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend more time with Hailey, I just couldn’t find the time in my schedule. Even when she hung around watching me do my chores, I was locked inside my own head, constantly going over the checklist of what needed to get done during that day. And keeping some space between us was probably a good idea. I was finding it hard to get thoughts of her out of my mind. I’d even pleasured myself in the shower a few times thinking of the curve of her ass in those skinny jeans and how she sometimes smiled at me like she wanted me to kiss her. But that was just bullshit I was making up to humor myself. She didn’t want much more than to learn what she could about my life so she could write a bestseller when she returned back to New York City. I was fooling myself if I thought there was much more to it than that. I had to get my focus back on what mattered: my animals and my ranch. Hailey was only a woman passing through on her way to bigger and better things.

  “Yeah, I don’t see a problem with that,” I said, reluctantly. I didn’t want to encourage Eric and Hailey to spend more time together than they already had, but there was no good reason to say no to Eric’s request without seeming like a jealous jerk. “I’m sure I can find some time to help you learn to ride, too.”

  Hailey grinned at me, her blue eyes nearly glowing with how pleased she was, but then she turned back to Eric, and they started chattering about the logistics of when they could get together, which horses they’ll use, and how soon he thought she’d be able to saddle up a horse on her own and hit the trails.

  I sat listening to them, shoveling forkfuls of pasta in my mouth and chewing mechanically to keep from saying anything I’d regret, boiling in the jealousy I felt watching the two of them make plans that didn’t involve me. I wanted to lead Eric the hell out of my house by the scruff of his neck, but couldn’t do much more than sit there, irritated. Hailey was going to end up falling for him the way so many other women had. He’d disappoint her in the end, but there wasn’t really a damned thing I could do about it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Hailey

  Afternoon, Early August

  I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing or why I had even agreed to this to begin with. Well, that wasn’t true. I knew why I’d agreed. All this thinking about ruggedly handsome cowboys that looked like Clint Eastwood had led me down a path of romanticizing the whole living off the land narrative which, of course, included riding horses and roping cattle. But now here I was stuck what felt like 15 feet in the air on top of this giant beast that could buck me off of its back and onto the hardpacked dirt below its monstrous hooves where I could land on my head, breaking my neck and dying instantly. This might have been a little dramatic, but my overdeveloped imagination was part of the reason I’d become a writer in the first place. It just so happened that it never turned off when I needed it to and, in fact, usually decided to pick up speed instead.

  “I think this was a mistake,” I said, and not for the first time. The horse was barely moving, but I was terrified. Right after I climbed on the back of it, nearly falling off onto the ground on the other side, it shook its head, and I thought it was ready to throw me into the air. I’d actually screamed, which Eric had a good, long laugh at.

  Eric came along beside me, riding his own horse, a spotted white female he called Lettie. The one I was squeezing between my trembling legs was a humongous animal covered in splotches of reddish brown and white smears, and was called Buck—I found the name ominous and pictured myself in traction later today at the local hospital, facing the prospect of painfully learning how to walk again. This horse was supposedly old, broken in, and the perfect choice for a new rider. I didn’t know if I believed that. Not that he’d done anything aggressive or even fast, but I was ready for him to suddenly lose all control of himself and take off running for the hills, leaving me stuck going along for the ride as I screamed my fool head off. Eric would probably be too busy laughing to come after me.

  “Relax,” Eric said, grinning at me. He’d been smiling since we got to the stables and I realized just how big these animals were and that, maybe, it wasn’t such a great idea that I get on the back of one. Right now, his cavalier attitude was doing the opposite of helping. “Horses can sense your emotions. If you’re nervous, they’re nervous.”

  “That doesn’t help,” I said, tittering nervously. I’d said this exact thing to him at least 10 times. “At all.” Now I was worrying about infecting the horse with my anxious negativity. Trying to relax only made it harder to do so. The thoughts were buzzing around my head, every single negative situation that might occur making me shiver and nearly lock up completely. The horse was definitely going to buck me off of his back now. Damn it. Why had I ever left the city?

  “Buck is a big old teddy bear. You don’t have to worry about him.” His smile never faded. It was comforting, really, to see how calm and relaxed Eric was. I couldn’t seem to stop shaking, but at least one of us was relaxed.

  “How long have you been riding?” I asked in a wavering voice as Buck moved slowly beneath me. Conversation would help keep my mind from barreling down all its various tangents. I was glad for my imagination because it was what made it possible for me to make a living and travel as much as I liked, but it could turn on me in an instant, too. Double-edged sword, I guessed. Right now, I needed it to calm the hell down so I could try to enjoy this, but it was stubbornly refusing to do so. I kept telling myself I needed this experience for the book. Cowboys rode horses. If I rode, it would be easier for me to describe it. And if Eric and Cash could do it, so could I. Right? Right.

  “Since I was about 3,” Eric said with an easy shrug that was as annoying as his easy smile. “I used to come out to this ranch when it still belonged to Cash’s granddaddy and ride whenever I could, but that was after we met in kindergarten.” He was showing off with his horse, moving her around in ways I couldn’t even picture doing with mine.

  I forgot to be afraid for a moment, hearing that. “You’ve known each other that long?” I asked, amazed at the thought. My oldest friend was from high school, but we didn’t live in the same town anymore. I’d moved into the middle of Manhattan after college, though my family was from the East Coast originally, just outside of the city, to be exact. Diane now lived in the Midwest. I didn’t get to visit her as much as I’d like. I would love to see her as often as Cash and Eric got to see each other, although Cash always seemed a little annoyed by his old friend’s presence. But, by this point, they had to be more like brothers than friends. Paige and I used to fight like cats and dogs growing up. We were the best of friends now, though.

  “I’ve never ridden anything bigger than a bicycle,” I said, tittering like an
idiot again. I couldn’t stop. I was too nervous to relax, and if I didn’t release some of that nervy energy, I’d end up shrieking my head off. If the poor horse underneath me really could sense my tumultuous emotions, I owed him a big apology. If I lived through this experience, maybe I could see about giving him an apple or a carrot. That was at least what horses seemed to like in any movie I’d ever watched that included them in it.

  “Buck’ll do whatever you tell him.” He sidled up next to me on Lettie, both horses neighing companionably, but not really seeming too bothered about being side by side. “Just hold the reins like I showed you.”

  I’d been clutching them since Eric demonstrated how to put them in my hands.

  “You’re the one in charge now. And Buck’ll want to follow Lettie. Just let your body relax into his gait. Don’t fight him, don’t worry about him throwing you to the ground. That ain’t gonna happen.”

  I swallowed hard at the mention of my worst fear, but I didn’t argue when he got Lettie moving. Buck started off without much encouragement from me, which was fine considering I was still mostly frozen with fear, but it felt good to be moving. And he was going slowly and evenly, his big head bobbing on his muscular neck.

  “We won’t go far,” Eric said, looking back at me and grinning even wider. I didn’t even want to know what my face looked like at this exact moment, but my lips hurt from pressing them together so hard. “You’re doing great. Old Buck sure doesn’t seem to mind!” But his grin was anything but comforting. I had to keep my mind off my eminent fall and death, so I barreled into more conversation as the giant animal moved languidly beneath me.

  “It’s hard to believe that you and Cash are such great friends,” I said, not moving the reins much at all. The last thing I wanted was for Buck to misinterpret my desires and suddenly break into a dead run. I doubted tucking and rolling would do much for me if I fell. I had to get my mind off of that. Damn it. I just couldn’t stop it from sneaking up on me.