Cloud Field

by A M Russell

  Those were the batty moments. Mostly I'd got into the rhythm of each day. I collected readings every morning. I measured snow. I recorded weather. I watched the mist and noted the prevailing wind. I had begun to appreciate the fine balance between comfort, and a difficult and unpleasant camp. We always stopped travelling before 5pm. Dinner was as close to six as we could make it. If an army marched on its stomach then we were always fit for battle. Marcia and James took it incredibly seriously. They insisted on cleared plates and made notes of anyone’s unwillingness to eat the enormous puddings. I'd never seen anyone refuse anything. Curly Pete flexed his muscles and declared he was actually gaining weight. It was a backhanded compliment. The truth was it was hard going. The temperature gradually dropped... We added layers and often used oxygen outside. Janey still hadn't remembered to do the relaxation thingy with me. But often, in an evening she would bring me coffee, in the quiet lull when jobs were done and we could all divert ourselves with whatever took our fancy. I would either go and look out the window or play cards with Joe, Jared and the boys. Hanson read intellectual books in plain view of everyone. He would sit with one leg over the arm of the chair. He was project leader, the last word on all things, and some nights would go to bed early. Then we'd bet for spare washers. And Joe and Jared would tell elaborate tales of other adventures. I wondered how many of these reminiscences were based on fact.

  Then came a day that was unlike any other. It was three days before we reached the end of the outward trip and my excitement was growing. We made camp really early at about three in the afternoon and Nikolas and Adam took me and Curly Pete out to the high pinnacle of rock that had a little space to stand below sharp spikes like a pointy castle parapet, or giant incisors. It was on a miniature hillock five minutes’ walk above our newly erected dome tent. The view from here was almost as puzzling as the weird plants that were everywhere. We saw in the distance bulging shapes that looked like giant bunches of stone coloured grapes. They had green streaks in them like marbled patterns. They must have been at least sixty feet across each one, judging by the distance. And beyond that the clouds swirled and boiled. Then intermittently a gap appeared and something sparkled like the gleaming edge of precious metal; or perhaps like bright reflections on a clear lake in the heat and brilliance of a noonday sun. Yet this was cold… like the heart of an ice star… sub-zero moonlight sparkle yet in daylight.

  ‘Whoa! What is it?’ Curly Pete squinted, trying to make sense of this distant landscape. I looked but nothing would resolve itself into something I could identify. The scale of the things confused my logic and weirded out the perspective as I looked. They looked like giant marbles rolling round in cotton wool. I knew they were still but appeared to move as I looked through the binoculars and excluded my solid reference points. Then it seemed as if the sparkle was on top of the ovoid globes. But beyond…. There were blackened trees and rolling bands of land that appeared as Christmas chocolate logs sprinkled with dark flakes. I gave the binoculars to Curly. He spent the next ten minutes making various strange noises and gestures of surprise. Nikolas was doing one of those interminable time lapse things. Adam was sketching, his eyes flicking to the Journal and back with complete concentration. I looked over his shoulder. It was really quite detailed… but I wasn’t sure what the little boxy shapes where on the chocolate roll hills. I couldn’t see them.

  ‘You need to make this your last trip you know.’ said Adam without looking up.

  ‘Oh?’ I felt offended, ’And why is that?’

  ‘Because…,’ he paused with the graphite stick, ‘you won’t be strong enough to stop.’ here he looked sharply up at me; ‘You don’t want to end up like Aiden and his team.’

  ‘You mean Crazy?’ I was too annoyed now to sound shocked.

  ‘No. of course not… Aiden; the one who never came back….’

  ‘Oh Hi there!’ said the other person who had just joined our little ensemble. I couldn’t have been more frustrated. “Never came back…” to what? This planet? Into line with the bosses? I gritted my teeth as Marcia came into view.

  ‘In ten minutes boys!’ she said with an upbeat tone that usually never failed to galvanise everyone to movement and hand washing. Only this time it didn’t. Nikolas and Curly Pete were staring at Adam, who in turn was staring at me.

  ‘I need to know one thing;’ I said, just to make sure Adam understood me clearly, ‘what actually happened to Aiden?’

  ‘Marcia.’ said Adam, ‘you tell him. You were around at the time.’

  ‘Davey…’ she came and stood near to me, ‘He lost all of his team… I mean all of them. Some we found later, some we didn’t. He wanted to go out again but they wouldn’t let him.’

  ‘And that’s it?’

  ‘No.’ she perched on Nikolas’ stool. The others were all agog with curiosity too. ‘That’s not it. A little while later the University sponsored another trip to do more mapping. Aiden hid in the back of the fourth vehicle. They didn’t know he was there for five days…’ she paused trying to dip around for the right approach; ‘then you see; the people came. The visitors… and they invaded the camp. And they… they....’

  ‘They killed some of the team.’ said Adam.

  ‘Yes… that’s right.’ Marcia looked relieved, ‘well Aiden came out and helped chase them off; he fought them… face to face. After that he helped patch up the ones who were injured, including a young woman on her first trip. You see the quandary don’t you?’

  ‘I guess they didn’t want to report back to base about Aiden being there.’ I said.

  ‘That’s right. They called it in. And as no-one was in a fit state to move very far they set up a secure camp in a cave and waited for the rescue party to come. It was a long wait because the weather was bad. Aiden was really heroic. And by the time they did make it some of the survivors were on the mend. Of course the powers that be were angry that Aiden had gone without permission. And while they waited for the weather to clear there were furious exchanges of messages on the radio between Base and the camp that the rescuers had now reached. The leader who went out as head of the rescue team was a stable sensible man called Dieter. He didn’t think Aiden should be punished for what he had done. Without him others would have died. Aiden had medical training you see. Only the ones there knew the details of what happened. And they left out any reference to Aiden later on.’

  ‘But why?’

  ‘Well… they; the whole group began to make its way back to Base, Aiden with them. And then Base heard that a storm came in, just as they reached the ice lake.’

  ‘The stone compound?’

  ‘Yes. The storm blocked out communications for three days. And when it lifted and the weather would allow them to cross the desert area Base got another stab in. They said that Aiden would be sent back home immediately on return and banned from ever going on an expedition again.’

  ‘And then what?’ Curly Pete’s eyes were round as he hung on Marcia’s every word.

  ‘Well of course you need to ask the question… why did he stow away in the first place? A good reputation, a solid sets of tours under his belt. He was good… I mean really good. Theory goes like this… he found something; a sample of something. And he wanted to go back to the place he had found it and get some more and run tests. It was thought to be some kind of precious metal; others think it’d a type of fungus. Either way, he felt he had reason enough… and the time and window of opportunity was closing. The season would be over soon enough and there was no certainty of coming back. It’s always the way of it. Aiden was trying to find evidence of something, so that no one else could steal his discovery. He saw that it could happen. I suppose he needed proof.

  Any way it was the last night before they were all about to set off back. They weather had slackened off. Everyone was outside watching the evening light, taking a few pictures, drinking tea etc. They all wandered back to the camp in ones and twos. Eventually everyone was back except Aiden. At first no one was worried. It was
an unusually mild evening. By seven they knew something was wrong; but because of what they had already heard they didn’t report it to Base straightaway. There has always been some confusion about that. Well, you can imagine: a group who are limping home with the bodies of their dead friends. Following protocol wasn’t uppermost in their minds that night. I think they all decided that whatever had happened, they would all stick together. So then they reported that he had gone missing and logged it the next morning. The logs were roughly accurate… no one was setting out to deceive anyone. But in the end Aiden was declared dead.’

  ‘So what did he say when he got back?’ I asked.

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Well, Aiden of course.’

  ‘You mean you’ve seen him?’

  ‘Well yes of course I have.’ I looked towards Adam with a frown, ‘You were there when he came out of the library with George weren’t you?’

  ‘But there was nobody there.’ said Adam.

  ‘Yea…. I mean No?’ I did not let that penny drop until it had delivered me into the heart of this group. I was one of them. Soon be eating baked shellfish on a beach. Somewhere warm next year with Alex and his really reassuringly unsuitable comments.

  ‘He was there.’ I insisted idiotically.

  ‘No.’ said Marcia very firmly, ‘He was NOT there. But if you are seeing him them there must be a reason for it.'

  'What the...?' I was looking from one to the other of them. Curly Pete had stopped looking surprised and astonished and was tapping his chin in a scientifically calculating way. I'd forgotten he was here as Janey's Second Assistant after Jules, and was probably frighteningly intelligent. Nikolas started to disassemble the gear. Adam helped him. Marcia looked at me with that same expression of pity as when I asked about the rock samples.

  'It's something we don't talk about.' she said levelly, 'but know one important fact... Aiden never came back.'

  'You mean I'm seeing a....' I started to shout in a distorted angry way that echoed around the nearby boulders.

  'Shh...' Marcia grasped my upper arm in a firm pinch that reminded me only of Janey grabbing my wrist. But the effect was quite different. This was about something that had actually happened. And I needed answers. I couldn't eat until my stomach unknotted.

  'You mean I've seen a frikking ghost?' I hissed angrily.

  'You could call him that if you like.' Marcia was coolly unmoved by my outburst, and kept a tight grip on my upper arm. I felt relieved later when I had calmed down a little; well a lot actually. There was the most amazing fruit pie and cream. After that I went, as I often did, to the viewing port. It had started to snow. Gently this time, rather that the raging blizzards that could blow in at a moment’s notice. Marcia came up the little step with a small tray. Teapot, two cups, milk Jug.

  'Davey? I think I want to help you understand this err, happening.' she poured tea with elegant wrists and handed me a cup.

  'Ok.' the truth was I felt ashamed of being angry at her earlier. I knew whatever was going on wasn't of Marcia's doing.

  'I hadn't finished the story. The thing is.... about what happened; is that because of subsequent events, no one's now sure if anything was as people remembered.'

  'You mean that he was an apparition before that... He didn't really stow away?'

  'That's one version. There are many others. But they all agreed on one thing; that no one would tell the press or the University anything. They would never say one word, and let the official version stand.'

  'But why? Isn't it important to know the truth?'

  'Yes Davey it is. For the ones who are looking for the truth; it is very important. We all knew that. But we also knew that if the chess movers got to it, the story would cause us all to lose what little credibility we have, and put future expeditions in jeopardy.'

  'I get it.' I said through the tea steam, 'I'm sorry about earlier. I was...' I lamely hoped she would understand. Marcia's willingness to tell the story, any story showed some humanity that this whole operation subtly lacked. I made a mental note; be nice to Marcia. I was always making mental notes. I idly wondered how many I'd forgotten as I drained my cup. Most of them, probably.

  'You carry the tray for me Davey.' Marcia's warmth was as reassuring as the hot tea. I obeyed and trotted back to the kitchen area in thoughtful mood.

  Marcia didn’t seem disposed to get rid of me just yet so I stayed and helped dry dishes. This rather cosy kitchen area was a damn site warmer than anywhere else in the compound. And I found myself wishing I’d volunteered for cook’s assistant instead of Technical Junior. James was a lot friendlier too. Perhaps all it needed was Marcia to give the nod and they would all warm to me. I realised how paranoid I had become. As I hung up the tea cloth to dry near the heater James made more tea.

  ‘Here, sit.’ said Marcia. James put two cups in front of us and left with his own tea to find Curly for another game of poker.

  ‘Marcia?’

  ‘Mmm?’

  ‘Is there anything else I should know?’

  ‘Only one thing. Hanson doesn’t know about my involvement in this. He’s heard the stories, just like the rest of them. But… I was there Davey. I was at Base ten years ago. I waited with the others for news when communications went down. I heard the news that Aiden was missing. I listened. I recorded the logs. I was the only one who they told, when they came back. You see the one they saved was another girl close to your heart.’ Marcia smiled knowingly, and seeing my guilty face, ‘Yes. I know; surprising isn’t it? That someone might actually notice how fond of her you are becoming.’

  ‘Who?’ I knew I really was being dumb this time.

  ‘Hanson and I…,’ she said swigging more tea, ‘are in what you might call; the end part of an affair. The coda in music.’

  ‘Oh err..’ I was instantly nervous when Hanson was mentioned.

  ‘It’s Ok.’ she patted me absently like a pet, ‘Hanson is sleeping. He’s taken to meditating and wants to attain some level or another by the time we get back after the expedition.’

  ‘I think it’s good you talk about getting back.’ I said, ‘You’re the only one who does.’

  ‘They all think about it though. Nothing else actually. They want to get out there, to the boundary land I mean. But they’ll be happier when we’re on our way back.’

  ‘And they can plan a drunken party?’

  ‘Exactly. You know Davey I really think we could be friends. But I’ll ask you to do one thing for me.’

  ‘Yes. What is it?’

  ‘If anything goes wrong…. Not saying it will. I want you to promise… that you won’t try to save me.’

  ‘But that’s crazy Marcia, I…’

  ‘No. Shh…Listen. You cannot know what I know. I cannot tell you. Because what I know is not explainable…’

  ‘Uhh? Ok…’ I was about to lose any sense of anything making sense.

  ‘Don’t come back for me Davey.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because Hanson will take advantage of that. He’ll be the death of me one day; unless I can stop It.’ she lifted the pot and poured more tea into our cups. It wasn’t giving the buzz that Janey’s coffee did, but warmed my guts. In spite of the talk of death I felt quite a bit happier. I wasn’t on the outside anymore. I was in the loop. I was one of the few who saw the visions. It was a sign of something that made me significant. Knowing Hanson didn’t share this helped my confidence enormously. Soon it would be time to turn in for the night. But I enjoyed the warm room for a little while longer. Marcia seemed happier too. Unburdened. From that night we would be friends. For as long as it lasted.

  *****

  Five

  Hanson was yelling orders like a Sergeant Major. We had made final camp. This would be our mini “Base” while we went out and took our sets of readings and carried out our experiments. The cold was sharp and bitter. And I was wearing goggles now and a mask as I went to set the measuring spikes for the night. It was very still, eerily so. Wisps of fr
eezing fog meandered round rocks as the light began to fail. Ten minutes. That was all I had, before George’s joke might become more than just that. I felt a funny ache in my back. Joe said it was just a muscle spasm from being too enthusiastic helping everyone. I had gone into overdrive mode now my place in a certain mysterious secret mythology was assured. I felt that perhaps I was trying too hard to prove myself. Joe certainly thought so. On the plus side of this Hanson had thawed a little. How much that had to do with me was incidental. But happy coincidences made me feel good, and I wasn’t questioning the route by which the blessing came. Hanson followed me out, his mask to one side. The light was changing rapidly and the moisture from his breath hung in patches as if someone had floated blobs of candy floss into the immediate area.

  ‘You seem to have it all covered. Any problems?’ Hanson was being business like.

  ‘No. everything’s good. I’ve checked every spike twice and calibrated them in the cold cupboard for an hour. We’ve got a good set of results. Steady drop at night and some fluctuations with the weather changes.’ I scrutinised the last one.

  ‘Ah! Well, good. I’m pleased.’ Hanson ran his gloved hand over the top protective cap of the spike. He seemed at a loss to say anything else. I waited patiently for the five minutes to be up to check the reading again. Then we would return to the safety of our enclosure.

  ‘Minus Fifteen.’ I looked at the pad again; a five degree drop.

  ‘Good, good. Well your duties here are complete for this evening.’ he chuckled, ‘I’m glad to see that you have been inspired to enter into the spirit of this adventure.’