by A M Russell
I looked at Jared. He was crying with relief. He saw me looking at him, ‘Don’t ever mention this to Hanson.’
‘Yes Boss.’ I replied.
Jared grinned at me and straightened himself up; ‘Ok Lads! Let’s see if they want to hug us, or put us all in the naughty corner for being out too late.’
I looked up. The light of the dome was visible. Then I could see a figure coming towards us. This Time I recognised her: Marcia.
‘Thank God you’re here! We’re all getting worried.’ She came up to Jared and hugged him. Jared looked surprised, then, as if he sensed something he sniffed.
‘Where are the others?’
Marcia shook her head. ‘What others? You’re the first to arrive. There’ve been no messages since yesterday morning. I’ve been on the radio every hour since four o’clock today.’
‘We got held up.’ said Jared, ‘And Davey’s hurt.’
Marcia looked at me, warm and sympathetic. ‘Right then. Inside. All of you. James has a very, very delicious stew waiting. And I think this one needs sticking back together.’ she glanced at me and carried on walking in a way that Jared was obviously watching as he followed her into the dome.
*****
Eleven
I was considering the fact than when Marcia said “sticking back together” that’s exactly what she meant. Joe and Oliver had to pin me down to get the wound closed. It was a nasty gouge, short and deep. I’d imagined a long whiplash mark, this was more U-shaped and ragged. Joe didn’t spare me any sympathetic words. He ordered me to keep still, and when I kept flinching, called Oliver in to immobilise me. Oliver must have shovelled coal for a living in a former life. He was exceptionally strong and could have broken my neck with one twist; but they got the crater completely cleaned out and proceeded to super glue it together. Joe explained in a few short words what he was doing. He put a light dressing on top so I wouldn’t scratch at it. I’d never felt as helpless… except for the time when I was twelve and I’d got stuck up a tree and had to call my sister to help me down. She arrived with her three friends, who laughed heartily at me; before nimbly climbing up themselves and leading me down the right way. My sister only really forgave me for the embarrassment when she was at University and she needed an alibi to avoid an otherwise tricky and romantically disastrous situation. After that we got on great, considering the age difference (I was eighteen and she was twenty-three). I always felt that in the balance of things there would be something I could do for them one day. This wasn’t a theory about equality, far from it; just an observation that the universe seems to operate like that. Joe told me to stay still for ten minutes. He left me in our little med bay and went to get coffee. He brought me tea with sugar in. I preferred it without, but I’d been stripped of all dignity and humbly accepted the beverage and started sipping obediently.
‘You mustn’t talk.’ Joe said, ‘Not until tomorrow that is. Come through now. Everyone’s relaxing. I went and sat down next to Marcia. The proximity of her friendly smile and laughing brown eyes made me feel comfortable again with the group. Joe told them all to be helpful and not ask me any questions. I think it was as much to do with the drugs they’d given me, as the fact I might pull the wound apart.
‘So what was the last message you did get?’ Jared asked the End Base group.
‘That was the morning transmission.’ said Joe.
‘There was quite a bit of hiss and crackle,’ added James, ‘so we thought we might not get another that day.’
‘That was yesterday morning?’ Adam seemed thoughtful.
‘Yes.’ Joe passed the log book over. We wrote it all down. James was there, some of it’s in his handwriting.’
‘Damn and blast!’ said Jared staring at the log entry, ‘Hanson never told you when to expect the sled.’
‘No.’ Joe frowned, ‘We were all expecting the group back that had walked there, never the sled at all. We knew that the snow had forced a stop overnight, so Marcia calculated that you would probably get here by about Three pm today. Then we had that really bad White Out. That was at about One o’clock. So we moved E.t.a. to 5pm instead. Marcia thought it would be nearer to six looking at the snow drifting. But I must admit that Quarter to Eight is into “Dirty Stop Out Time”.’
James gave another note to Jared. ‘That’s what we recorded for last night. It’s not cheerful bedtime reading. And the Cloud Mountains keep piling up. If this continues we’ll have to leave End Base the day after tomorrow.’
If I had been able to speak I would have shouted my objection to this. But I bit my lip and tasted a slow slippage into emptiness.
‘So what do we decide?’ Jared looked from one to the other. The whole group knew, as I did, that simply waiting here would not be an option. The weather was against us. We had to wait one day, during which equipment was taken apart: all the extra non-basic things. The day after we would leave, with or without the others.
I looked round the room. At each face. They seemed on the whole rational, calm. They were making sense. Marcia got up and Jared followed her to the radio room. It was nearly ten pm. There was a slim chance that the sled and the other group could be just about to arrive, on their way over the next snow drift. That would be the last attempt tonight. And I felt queasy with exhaustion and fear. Oliver peered at me; ‘Time for bed Mr Milnes.’
‘It’s Davey, if it’s all the same to you.’
‘Davey it is then,’ the lilt in his voice like a rolling tide on a night shore, ‘and you are going to bed as well.’
I found the next day to be a very lazy one. I didn’t know why they were all fussing me so much. I felt fine. I was told to sit and read stuff. I had to type log entries into a database ready for transmission. Marcia had decided to get out a message to Base and George as soon as a good signal could be detected. I overheard her and Jared discussing whether or not to tell the people at Base what was happening. In the end they decided to simply say that the sled was due back soon, but due to bad weather had apparently been delayed. As for all the stuff at the Boundary edge: the decayed experiments, the odd missing rope and the knot that appeared... We could verify none of these things, as all the evidence was on the sled with Hanson, Janey, Jules and Nikolas. I simply didn’t want to think about how I would feel if we had to set off back tomorrow without those Four. It would be fair to say that I had been avoiding facing a nagging sense of irrelevance. There was one thing that mattered: our friends and colleagues. I felt for Nikolas most of all. He seemed human, and pretty straight forward; and seemed to lack the annoying complexity of a tortured scientist or an idealistic researcher on the way to proving that black was white.
Afternoon came with no news. James insisted I eat some lunch, even though I wasn’t hungry. I tried to use the “but you’ve been all working hard, I haven’t” excuse, but James just gave me an extra sandwich and said I should stop behaving like a great aunt picking at crumbs on her tea plate: ‘It’s not cucumber, and you’re going to eat it!’
I stopped whining after that. They were all doing their best under circumstances that were horribly worrying. If I got difficult it just created another problem. I resolved to eat my dinner even if the sky was falling in at the time. I stopped being so selfish and knuckled down to the copying if the handwritten logs.
At Three exactly Marcia and Joe called a meeting. Everyone had biscuits. I think it meant we had something to do with our hands. Marcia’s baking had a tranquillising effect on the assembled company. It was never so bad if chocolate cookies where still available. And we were allowed to dunk. Jared was putting sugar in his coffee. He was wearing his really serious face that meant were had to get a grip and hang on. I’d seen it at the crevice, right after we fell.
‘I am now going to say this one thing: that in the absence of our team leader; and since there has been no news from the sled for 48 hours; I will assume the role of Acting Team Leader. Marcia and I have discussed this. We agreed that although she has some seniority over me, it would
be better for the solidarity of the group, and the err… avoidance of any friction when we are reunited with the others if I take this position. This has been logged and Base has been notified.’
At this I pricked my ears up. This seemed to contradict what I had overheard them say. Jared saw my reaction and his eyes narrowed at little. I resolved to keep my mouth shut for now.
Marcia spoke next: ‘It has been decided; on the evidence of all the available data that we will leave tomorrow no later than ten o’clock. If anyone has anything to say about this; they will say it now.... in front of us all. I am not… made of stone. And just because I have relinquished my position to Jared doesn’t mean I’m going to be soft either. You say one word against Jared, or me; or against any decision either of us makes; then you say it to our faces.’
‘So that is the harsh warning on gossip,’ said Jared, ‘now the harsher warning about the snow forecast. Basically the winter is advancing; a lot earlier than expected. Anyway, we would have had to leave round about now to stand any chance of getting back. I cannot emphasize enough the severity of the situation. We cannot wait beyond tomorrow morning to start our journey back. In answer to what everyone is thinking. This hasn’t been for nothing. There was a reason. And whatever….’ he seemed to chew on something for a second, ‘whatever has happened to the others, we will not be in any position to help them if we stay.’
A thought suddenly occurred to me, I stuck up my hand.
‘Davey?’ said Marcia looking at me with concern, ‘is there something you wanted to say?’
‘Yes…. Yes,’ I was trying to be firm, ‘Will we leave some supplies behind for them. I mean this is where they will head for right? And if there’s nothing here?’
Marcia looked at Jared who in turn stared at me, ‘No. we won’t be leaving anything. They have a shelter and the equipment and supplies they took with them. They have enough for a week at least. And if we are reunited with them later after leaving some of our essentials behind, we are then in a worse position.’
‘Oh.’ I looked away. Drat his logic!
‘What about the samples?’ Curly Pete said suddenly.
‘What samples?’ asked Marcia.
‘The ones I brought back.’ I could see he was pleased with himself, ‘I have everything here to examine them. I just need 24 hours.’
‘Well; let’s just get out of this ice box and on to a bigger bit of shelving.’ said Jared, ‘then you can do all the examining you want. If we make it to the ice lake we’ll set up the mini lab. You can run all your results back to George…. In case we have any trouble along the way.’ he added.
I felt sour and cold inside. How much that was to do with the drugs beginning to wear off I didn’t know. The meeting ended shortly after that. There were just a few practical and technical questions to get out of the way. Like who would be driving each transport. And what route we would go for on this section back. I wanted to shout “But what about Janey!”, that is until I reminded myself that there were three others missing as well.
We were up horribly early. I felt I had a reason to be in a bad mood. On the plus side Joe examined me and said that the cut was healing nicely, also I wasn’t to lift anything heavy. I must have looked quite pale, with artistically drawn shadows under my eyes. I think personally they were being over cautious. But in this extreme place nothing seemed quite so radical. It was just sensible precautions. I was given all the lists and I had to check everything as it was loaded. For an hour I ticked boxes. Then we took down the dome. Adam didn’t like the look of the weather and urged haste. We all worked together to vacuum it back into its case. I had always been fascinated by the way those things packed into such a small space.
Jared took one last look around and we climbed into the transport. Marcia and Jared were in the Super Landy. Oliver was driving the big long truck. I sat in my familiar place, in the front passenger seat. Joe was given the buggy with James as navigator. Curly and Adam were in the back seat behind us. I saw Marcia looking back towards us as Oliver manoeuvred us around. Jared was speaking to her. For the next twenty minutes or so I saw them talking, Jared gestured with his free hand and Marcia turned slightly and smiled. I began to suspect that this was something that could become more. But I looked away. I forced my mind away from Janey. Away from everything. I took readings, and read them out to Oliver. I checked our position, I watched for landmarks, and noted our progress on time and distance. Oliver looked sideways at me after the last repetition of “position correct” and said: ‘I think it’s time we all stopped pretending we feel alright about leaving the others behind, don’t you Davey?’
‘I guess so.’ I looked down at the map again, and tried to be non-committal.
‘It’s Bloody awful.’ said Adam from the back, his voice thick with emotion.
‘Well, for myself,’ said Oliver, ‘I am seeing the possible places the sled could get to since it set off. Look at the map Davey. If they had to divert from their planned course, there is another valley. It’s narrower, but more sheltered…’
I looked at the map, and I traced the position with my finger. There was a narrow gap about two hours into the main valley. We had been following the sled, yet arrived without passing them we thought. It was possible a diversion was the explanation. I don’t know why I didn’t notice it in all of my mapping exercises. But it was very narrow. It made absolutely no sense for Hanson; and more especially Janey to choose that route. Unless they were making for… I followed its course. They could have reached the last camp before the egg lands. It was very sheltered there. And further from the advancing winter. They could be waiting for us! The hope rose wildly in me. I swallowed it back down. ‘So… is it likely that they might get there before us?’
Oliver seemed relieved to hear me say it. ‘I was thinking that Janey would not go without a backup plan. She wanted the samples and the photos to get out. She’d head for a Base by the shortest route possible; and meet us on the way. We won’t get any signal from them until we’re clear of this valley.’
‘Could we talk to George at Base, and see if they’ve called in?’ I thought it sounded sensible.
‘Not until the camp. We can get up on the hill and get a signal with the larger antennae. That’s always supposing that we can actually get any signal at all.’ Oliver squinted then at the sky. It was darkening. Visibility was still good, so we kept going at a steady pace. The valley was getting wider and wider and more broken. Pretty soon it would be a crisscrossing net of smaller avenues between the bulbous rocks that had shrunk from 60 feet above our heads to about 20 feet tall. They were collections of even smaller ones. The babies of the family as it were. I ached for a stop to stretch my legs. In the front vehicle, I could see that Marcia was consulting the map and pointing. I turned round to check through the back window. Adam and Pete were both asleep. They looked like a couple of comfy bunnies. Through the screen the Buggy kept pace with us. Joe and James seemed to be chatting away and smiling. Perhaps it was just at that moment. I tried to not feel aggrieved. My now (obvious) feelings for Janey had tainted the clarity of what I saw. I wanted to be safely back and for all this to be over. I felt so damn tired. Oliver concentrated on the road ahead and began to slow down. This part was zigzags for quite a while as the rocks became randomly placed and scattered. We got slower and there was no longer a valley but a lot of ridges splitting up the smooth beauty of the place into an annoying puzzle that we had to carefully route through. The walls of the valley got lower and lower until they disappeared altogether. Ahead we could see the outcroppings of normal looking rocks. Even these had sheets of snow. We were heading to the camping place beyond that. It was in amongst a whole set of bumpy hills. With some higher ridges… one of these was our viewing point. That day that Adam did the sketch.
We were set up for an evening’s serious consideration of everything from the weather (it was snowing again), to the missing sled; no signal; and Curly Pete was complaining about feeling unwell. Joe told him to lie down
. Marcia made soup, chunky and nourishing. Everyone was very quiet. Either it was a very good soup, or the race to escape the advancing winter was drawing out more from everyone than could be admitted.
The following day we left the hills behind. And bounced and rolled uncomfortably along some unpleasing and depressing terrain. This continued. We made camp, and duly ate, slept, broke camp and went on again. It was now the seventh day out from End Base on the return journey. Each day until the Ice Lake… we were two days from it now, and I felt something akin to a lightness of heart. I had crossed over into another place, and had finally relented and stopped resisting the change.
For this time if anything, taught me something about the littleness of despair. I wanted to leave it behind in the place I had found it. That night where the moon was full and my heart was still innocent. And ten minutes later… with a few words it would never be innocent again. Despite the knowledge that there really was nothing we could do except what we were doing, the guilt unfairly swamped me in such a way that I could barely speak. Curly’s banter had disappeared altogether. And in everyone’s mind I supposed was the feeling that if we got to the Ice Lake. Then it was nearly half way back, and something could perhaps be done.
