Betting on Hope

by Debra Clopton

  And that was one of the things that hurt the most. Why had he lied?

  Long after she and Amanda finished their conversation, she sat with her legs curled beneath her as she stared over the back of the chair at the moon and tried to figure out what had gone on.

  But no answers came. Sometime near four in the morning, she roused and realized she’d dozed off sitting up, her head leaning against the chair back. Her legs were asleep and it took a long while to get them to have enough feeling in them that she could walk into the bedroom and crawl beneath the covers.

  Needless to say, it was going to be a challenging day.

  And Maggie deserved it. As she lay there in the bed staring up at the dark ceiling, it became very clear to her. She’d gotten a taste of a life she’d only ever dreamed of as a girl. She’d fallen in love with a man she knew she had no business falling for. She’d risked her heart when she knew better.

  And now she was facing the consequences. If there was one thing her life had taught her, it was that all actions had consequences. Some good, some bad, but they were always there. And risking her heart, as fragile as it was, had been silly and foolish.

  What had she expected anyway? Declarations of everlasting love?

  Roses and violins?

  How ridiculous. Why would she expect that?

  Yes, the truth was she believed in hope . . . but everything had boundaries. And she’d completely fallen out of bounds on this one.

  Tru was grateful that they were busy getting to Brenham, signing in and warming up for the cutting competition. There were so many different cameras there that they barely noticed when Amanda and her film crew arrived.

  It was a circus. And he felt like the biggest clown in the show. If he was doing the right thing for Maggie, letting her go without telling her the truth, then why did it feel so wrong?

  He knew it was his emotions trying to get him to cave in and be honest with Maggie. He ignored them.

  The good thing about the competition was they were separated from the media to an extent.

  She wasn’t her usual warm self this morning. She was distant, and who could blame her. She’d bared her heart to him and he’d turned her away.

  This was about Maggie right now, though. He wanted her to do well for herself. He could care less about any other aspect of this fiasco. He just wanted Maggie to feel good about what she did out in that arena today.

  “Maggie, you can do this,” he said, stopping her before she climbed into the saddle. She’d been watching the others compete and he’d seen the worry on her face. “There isn’t one person out there any better than you. Remember most of them are fairly new at this, just like you. You’re not competing against pros. This is all fun.”

  “Fun.” She laughed and it sounded brittle, dry.

  “Yeah, Maggie. Fun. Look at me.” He took her by the arms and she looked at him. “I know you have been through more in these two months than anyone could ever have anticipated. And I know that you never wanted to be here in the first place. But here you are. And right now, I want you to forget me, and everything else and everyone else. I know that you enjoy it when you climb up on this horse right here. Isn’t that right?”

  She nodded.

  He smiled at her, loving her so much he thought he’d explode. “That’s what I want you to think about. This is you and Stardust doing your thing. Don’t take your eye off the calf. And Maggie, I mean it. There is an aspect to this I just didn’t think about, but there are going to be camera flashes out there and maybe some noise. Ignore all of it. Stardust will. He’ll zero in on his calf and showboat, you just keep your eyes on the calf you pick, keep your hands up, and settle in.”

  “Piece of cake,” she said, and almost sounded like his Maggie.

  Not yours.

  Yeah, not his. But as he watched her climb into the saddle and head into the arena he wanted her to be his with all his heart . . .

  Of course everyone and their cousin showed up at the Bull Barn for lunch to celebrate Maggie coming in third place in the cutting. Maggie knew they’d have been there no matter what because of the cameras, but she was so thankful that she’d even placed. She didn’t care if she ever placed again in anything she entered, but today she was relieved that she had.

  Stardust had been amazing. He’d danced for her. His feet had been light and quick and he’d stirred up dust with each of his hard stops and switches. She was as glad for Stardust as she was for herself. And for Tru.

  The man had given her his all when it came to preparing her for this competition and she truly felt that he hadn’t cared about anything except her doing her best and proving to herself that she could do it.

  Walking into the diner, she and Amanda took in the crowd.

  “Wow,” Amanda said scanning the packed place—and applauding hands.

  Maggie chuckled, and her hand went to her heart, she was so overwhelmed.

  Big Shorty had saved them Tru’s booth for lunch and he led Maggie and Amanda to it as the applause continued. Maggie smiled at everyone. Maggie knew Amanda and the producers would have plenty of footage to make quite a colorful bit for the show.

  Once she had given the folks of Wishing Springs their time in the spotlight, Amanda and Maggie took a seat in the booth and talked. The cameras rolled some just to get film of all the town and their excitement for her. But then Amanda let the crew off to eat and she and Maggie were able to have some time talking quietly—thanks to Big Shorty who brought them their drinks and then, with one stern look, let the others know to go about their business.

  “I love this place,” Amanda said first after they were officially “off” the record. “I can so see you here, Maggie.”

  “What?” Maggie wondered how Amanda could read her so well.

  “You know you love this. They’re like your peeps now.”

  She laughed. “My peeps?”

  “Your people. They love you. And it’s not just because you’ve put them on the map with their fifteen minutes of fame. They really like you.”

  “The feeling is mutual.” She’d toyed briefly with the thought of moving here. But not with things so weird with her and Tru. “I do love it here,” she said with complete sincerity. “It’s so amazing that I came here a stranger and now there are so many who are my friends. I’ve enjoyed feeling really connected to a community.”

  Amanda smiled. Her friend had always understood that no matter what Maggie did, she’d felt aloof and disconnected. Maggie had always said it was because of her past, and Amanda knew enough about her past to know it was because of her bad home life. When a kid was raised never knowing what would happen next, she distanced herself. And it was a hard habit to break even after all these years. And just when she’d dropped her barriers Tru had turned the tables on her . . . Maggie didn’t need to think about that right now though. She still had an interview to get through. Big Shorty sent their chicken salad sandwiches over, and after they’d both taken a couple of bites, Amanda turned serious. “During the interview, as we discussed, I’m going to ask you a few questions about your past. You let me know what you’re comfortable with, Mags. We’re not going to make this about your past, so don’t worry about that. Like you wanted, we’re simply going to get this thing out in the open, and you won’t ever have to worry about it again.”

  Maggie nodded. “Okay,” she said, her voice stiff.

  “Stop worrying. It will be a negative response, but I and the network and your editor believe it will only make you stronger as a columnist. Your story will resonate with readers, Mags.”

  “Tru said the same thing.”

  Amanda smiled. “Tru sounds like a very smart cowboy. But,” she studied Maggie thoughtfully, “I have a feeling there is definitely something going on between the two of you that you, my friend, have not shared with your best friend. What’s happened since the kiss, Mags?”

  “There is nothing between us. Yes, there was the kiss, but it was a mistake. Despite that there was some attracti
on, there is no future in it. He is such a great teacher.”

  Amanda nodded. “What I know is that he puts a nice glow to your cheeks.”

  Maggie was in so much trouble. She loved Amanda, but she was in a hard spot. She was her friend, but she was also doing her job. There was no telling how this was going to all turn out after they got the footage back to the station.

  And that was what worried Maggie.

  The crew arrived at the ranch and took the place over. They filmed everything they could. Amanda had asked that his brothers be there, and Jarrod had flat refused, but Tru had talked Bo into it. Not because he was looking for a cowgirl bride or anything but because he saw the potential for advertisement for his stirrups.

  And it was. Amanda stuck the microphone in front of him and gave Four of Hearts Stirrups a big shout-out.

  Bo spent a lot of time at trade shows and had himself been interviewed several times about his business, he was no rookie. And the stirrup business was a big part of how they paid their debt down on the ranch. So that was his reasoning.

  Amanda did a great job with the interview. She was a caring person and not up to tricks, though everyone knew going in that the viewers were looking for romance between Tru and Maggie because of what had happened in the interview Maggie had done. He should never have placed his hand over hers but he’d not only been attracted to her, though he’d wanted to deny it, he’d also felt protective of her. And he still was on both counts. Amanda seemed protective of Maggie too and thus hadn’t been too intrusive.

  Amanda had chosen to set up chairs at the edge of the arena so the barn and the round pens were in the background. They’d taken their seats beside each other and while he answered questions and often glanced at Maggie, she never looked at him. Tru could see Amanda was picking up on the fact that Maggie was avoiding eye contact with him. And when she did look at him, she was distant. As if she didn’t trust him.

  And that killed his soul.

  This was for her own good, he reminded himself. She deserved more than what he could give her.

  When the interview was over and Amanda and the film crew had gone, Tru stood beside Maggie and waved as they headed out.

  “She handled your past well, Maggie. It’s going to be okay, don’t you think?” He felt awkward. It was true. Amanda just did a very quick intro on the woman behind the “Gotta Have Hope” column and part of that was a few questions about her being brought up in a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic mother and a father who was a con artist. She asked Maggie how it felt to live in fear that people would find out about her situation as a child. And then about how it felt when her father went to prison and she’d ultimately become a runaway. Maggie had done beautifully. She’d answered the questions honestly and Tru had hurt for her. He’d also been rooting for her.

  In the end, Maggie’s story had been fascinating and he was certain the network had gotten far more from the special than they’d hoped.

  “You do know your column is going to be a runaway hit. I wouldn’t be surprised if other things didn’t come your way because of it,” Tru said.

  She stared at him. “I hope so. If what I went through could help someone, then that’s what I would like.”

  She’d said the same thing to Amanda.

  “Thanks for what you did, teaching me,” she said to him. “It . . .” her voice thickened, trailing off, “was fantastic. I’d better go.”

  He watched her leave, telling himself that he would be seeing her around town. “Don’t be in a rush to leave the cabin. You can use it for as long as you need.”

  She was already at her car. “Thanks, but that won’t be necessary. I’m all packed up. I’m staying at the Sweet Dreams Motel tonight.”

  “You’re leaving today?” His heart had started pounding.

  “Bye, Tru. Take care of yourself. I’ll stop by and see Pops before I go.”

  And then she got in her car and pulled out of the drive.

  Tru just stood there hurting.

  29

  Maggie went straight to see Jenna. She wasn’t herself, but the kid was trying to be brave. Maggie was always struck by Jenna’s grit.

  And yet, she knew giving Hope up was always going to be a hole inside of the girl. Maggie could see it in her eyes despite the façade.

  “You love him a lot, don’t you?”

  They were sitting on the swing on the back porch. Jenna’s question startled her. There was no sense pretending. “I do. But some things aren’t meant to be.”

  Jenna nodded and looked out toward the garden in the distance. “Some things just aren’t possible.”

  Maggie heard no hope in her words and it was like a blow to her heart.

  Would Jenna ever believe in hope again?

  When Maggie left, she was exhausted. She’d hardly slept the night before and then with the stress of the day, she went straight to Pebble’s motel. Since her father was still in jail she didn’t have to worry about running into him.

  After taking a hot shower, Maggie dropped into bed and despite all the emotions rioting inside of her, she crashed—immediately falling asleep as if she hadn’t slept in weeks. Tomorrow would be a new day, she thought, putting a positive spin on the notion.

  Maggie had learned a long time ago that every day started fresh. She would do it once more. Before she crawled into bed, though, she closed her curtains and that’s when she saw Rand walk up to Pebble’s door with a bouquet of pretty spring flowers. She watched him straighten his hat and smooth his shirt, making sure it was tucked in perfectly, and then he raised his hand to knock. But he didn’t.

  Instead, he held his hand in midair so long that Maggie began willing him to knock. How were those two ever going to move forward if he didn’t find a way to make amends for the embarrassment that he’d caused Pebble when he’d gotten drunk and sung that awful song to her? How was he ever going to get to the real problem—his drinking—if he couldn’t find the courage to reach for what he wanted?

  And to accept whatever the outcome was, as long as he knew he’d at least given it his best shot.

  Maggie watched him lower his hand, place the flowers on the front doorstep, then walk away.

  She couldn’t look away. She watched him walk down the street in the fading light and she thought of her column. She hadn’t thought of it all day.

  All of this had been to save her column and she realized now, though it meant the world to her, she’d experienced something here in Wishing Springs that would forever change her. Even if, like for Rand, everything hadn’t fallen into place the way her heart wanted it to.

  She needed sleep. She pulled the curtains closed and glanced back at Pebble’s door. The flowers were gone.

  Hope surged inside of Maggie like a spark from a tiny struggling flame . . .

  Pebble had been watching. She’d known he was out there. And one day, maybe she would open the door.

  Maggie fell asleep thinking about new days and starting fresh.

  “What is wrong with you?” Bo asked him.

  “Nothing,” Tru growled as he pulled a bale of hay off the trailer and walked past Bo to the storeroom.

  “Don’t give me that. You’ve been acting weird all day. Come on, Jarrod’s cooking and he sent me down here to haul you up to the house if I had to.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Hey, either you come up there and we talk, or Jarrod’s going to come down here and talk. And big brother will not be happy. And neither will little brother, because I’m starving. And after what I had to go through today, being interviewed and tortured isn’t making me your best friend right now. You owe me, buddy.”

  Tru glared at Bo, then dropped the hay where he was. “Fine. Let’s go.”

  They headed up to the house and Jarrod had just placed chicken-fried steak and potatoes on the table. When they walked in, Solomon wagged his tail from beneath the kitchen table waiting for any stray table scrap to accidently drop to the floor for him—or for Pops to hand straight t
o him.

  Pops sat at the head of the table waiting for them. He kept looking at the door after they’d entered.

  “Maggie?”

  All three of them stared at each other. Jarrod hiked a brow and mouthed, “Where is she?”

  Tru shrugged. “Gone,” he said.

  “And why is that?” Jarrod asked as they all sat down at the table. “I got the feeling you were crazy about her the other day when she helped us with the calf. Looks to me like you’re being a fool if you let this woman get away.”

  It had been a long, hard day. Tru was mad at the world and not really in the mood to talk but he could not keep his secret any longer. “I can’t have kids, that’s why.”

  “Wow,” Bo said, his fork stopping midaction. He laid it back down on his plate.

  Setting his tea back on the table, Jarrod studied him. “From the treatments?”

  “Yeah. Maggie deserves more than I would be able to give her.”

  “Tru, has it occurred to you that you should let Maggie decide what she wants?” Jarrod asked.

  “Yeah, man, that’s a hard blow, but Maggie’s in love with you. It is written all over her face. Now I understand what was wrong with her today. Why she looked so sad every time she looked at you.”

  Tru glared at his brothers. “I’m doing what is best for Maggie.”

  Jarrod shook his head. “You’re doing what is best for you. If you don’t let her choose, then you don’t have to face her rejection. You need to fix this. Maggie deserves better.”

  That had Tru standing and walking toward the door to leave. Pops followed him, stopping by a picture on the wall of him and their grandmother. She’d been gone for over ten years, but she and Pops had had the real deal.

  He pointed at her picture. “Best. For me.”

  Tru knew it was true. Pops patted Tru’s shoulder. “Maggie.”

  Tru stared at his brothers and they both looked at him like he was the shortest stump in the forest.

  “Only you can make the call and fix this,” Jarrod said.