Never Christmas Without You

by Nana Malone

  From the moment they’d met, when he and his stupid frat brothers were trying to steal the fine-arts department’s founder’s statue, he’d known her through and through. And he’s been dragging you into his antics ever since.

  Justin was good for her. She might be an artist, but most people told her she was far too serious. She never let go. Except in her art. Never had any fun. Yeah, fun was reserved for people who knew what the hell was going to happen the next day. Since she never knew growing up, she liked to have control over her destiny. Justin was the risk taker. He could go into any scenario without a plan and still come out smelling like roses.

  The door to Justin’s condo swung open and immediately Justin started to cough. “Oh my God, did someone break in here and try to smoke me out of my own apartment?” He dropped his bag by the door and came running into the kitchen. “Alex, what the hell are you doing?”

  She stopped stirring and turned to him. “I’m cooking?”

  “Is that what we’re calling it?”

  Alex wiped her hands on the apron, which had an attractive nearly naked guy on the front. “I was trying to make dinner so you didn’t feel too much pressure with everything happening.”

  Justin stared at the stove for a long moment. Then his eyes darted to her, then back to the stove again. And finally, he just came over and wrapped his arms around her.

  Alex automatically hugged him back. She didn’t normally do emotional displays. She wasn’t much of a hugger. The one exception was Justin. If he was giving out hugs, she was first in line to get one. Because you’re pathetic.

  No, she wasn’t pathetic. They were friends. Best friends. Which is why you’ll never, ever be with him. She shook off the thought. She didn’t want to be with Justin. Liar. Okay, so there was a part of her that at one point had thought she could be with Justin. That part had died a long, slow, lonely death. It was never going to happen. Justin was not hers. He was her best friend, and she’d seen what happened to a woman who got too close to the flame. She was never getting burned like that. And the more honest she was with herself about that, the less getting embraces from Justin hurt on an emotional level.

  “I’m so sorry about your grandmother.”

  He shook his head, moving his chin back and forth over her hair. Her wild mane of curls was already a mess. She was dreading wash day, but she didn’t complain that his actions were inducing more tangles. “What do you need me to do?”

  “You’re already doing it. Just being here. And even though your culinary skills need major help, the thought is really what counts. How do you feel about takeout?”

  “Now, that I can do. Sorry I tried to poison you.”

  He chuckled. “It’s not the first time. I don’t know why you insist on trying to cook me anything ever.” Then he added, “Not to worry—bag’s by the door. I had a feeling you’d be here.”

  And just like that, Justin had reversed the roles. The man was all things to all people. “You weren’t supposed to do that. I was supposed to be looking after you. Not the other way around.”

  He shrugged. “For the record, we’re best friends. So we take care of each other. When I moved out here after grad school, who actually had a place to stay and let me crash on their couch for six months?”

  Yeah, the early days. She’d been apprenticing to a painter, Peter Maine, at his gallery here in San Diego. She’d sold a piece early and those proceeds covered school. She’d saved all her money and was able to afford a decent place to stay. It had been like summer camp.

  “How is she?”

  Justin let her go, then leaned back against the fridge, one leg propped back against it. “She’s actually not terrible. She’ll stay there a few more days for observation. But the doctor thinks there might be a problem with her medication, so they’re trying to figure out the right dosage. Until they do that, they said no stress, no running around, she’s to take it easy.”

  Alex snorted. She might not know Grandma Lucy personally, but from everything Justin had told her, the old lady was never slowing down. “How’d she take that?”

  Justin shook his head. “About as well as can be expected for her. She was in no kind of mood for that noise.”

  Alex cocked her head and studied his face intently before hopping up onto the counter. “Okay, spill, Justin. You always have that look when you aren’t sure how to get out of a problem.”

  He rubbed the end of his nose, and Alex wondered just what kind of trouble he’d gotten himself into.

  “So you know how Grandma has been trying to get me to settle down?”

  She nodded. And every time Justin brought home some blonde with big boobs and an attitude, she often had to bite her own tongue. But that was neither here nor there. “Yeah, what’s that have to do with anything?”

  “Well, I might have told her I had a girlfriend to get her off my back.”

  Alex rolled her eyes. “Of course you did. Why would you do that? Because at some point, she’s going to request to see this girl.”

  The look on his face told her that something just like that had happened. “Justin. Spill it.”

  “I know it probably wasn’t a good idea, but I was desperate. She was constantly trying to set me up with girls. They would show up at the hotel. At my gym. I had to get her off my back. So I made up the perfect girl that would never have to be seen. One that was so busy with her career. Problem is, now Grandma Lucy wants me home for the holidays. And she wants me to bring said girl.”

  Alex stared at him for a long moment. Blinked several times, tried to open her mouth to say something, anything. But nothing came out. Finally, she managed, “Justin. She’s sick. What are you going to do now? You clearly can’t tell her that you made up a girlfriend. That will stress her out.”

  “I know. I know. I should never have lied. But now I can’t just tell the truth because she’s sick. She’s supposed to stay calm. So I’m caught between a rock and a bad situation.”

  Alex tried to force her brain to work. “You need to figure this out. Is there someone in your roster? Is this a couple of days including Christmas?”

  “Christmas.” He nodded.

  “Well, I’ll think of something before then.”

  “You don’t have to think of something. I already have a solution.” Justin grinned.

  “Yeah? What’s that? If it involves hiring a hooker, you’re crazy. Maybe it’s better to tell her the truth and not dig a bigger hole for yourself.”

  Justin’s brows snapped down. “No. I’m not telling her the truth. She needs me to have a girlfriend, so I’m going to have a girlfriend. I’ll do anything to make sure she gets better and on the road to recovery.”

  And that was part of Justin’s problem, he was always wanting to be all things to all people. But he never spent too much time worrying about what would actually make him happy.

  “So what can I do?” she asked.

  “Well, since you’re trying to make me feel better and you are my best friend in the entire world, I was sort of hoping you’d pretend to be my girlfriend.”

  Her heart leaped in an attempt to escape from her chest, beating so hard and so fast, Alex was sure there would be splinters and shards of her rib cage floating around. He was asking her out? No, silly. Listen to his words. Pretend. Girlfriend. And suddenly her heart stuttered and skipped to a stop. The pain was so immediate and so hot, she had to fight to not show any expression.

  He wasn’t suddenly going to ask her out. Out of the blue. No, he was asking her to be his girlfriend because he needed a way out of this mess. Under normal circumstances, she would do anything for him. Except this. Because if she did this, then he would know.

  He’d know that she’d been lying this whole time. And she wasn’t going to expose her soft side. “Justin, I love you. And you know that. But I’m not going to pretend to b
e your girlfriend.”

  Chapter 2

  Hell. She’d said no? Justin really hadn’t considered a negative response. “Alex, look, I know. I know you hate to lie. You’re not very good at it. But I am up the creek with no paddle. I need my wing-girl. Wing-woman. Whatever, you know what I need. It’s just for a couple of days, a week tops, and it’s not like we weren’t going to spend the holidays together anyway.”

  They did have a plan for Christmas. Christmas Eve would be at her place and there would be takeout and alcohol and holiday movies. Then Christmas Day, they would start at his place; he was pretty good at breakfast. His grandmother had taught him. That was the best day, opening presents.

  Most of the artwork he had in his place were her pieces. And though each of them had been given as gifts, he knew full well how much they were worth. Even though to him they were priceless, to the rest the world they were...expensive.

  In the evening, they would go to the big Christmas spread at his hotel. It was a tradition he’d started the first Thanksgiving they were open. It was so successful, he did it again for Christmas, with employees and guests alike.

  So far, he hadn’t been dating anyone over the last few holidays. Which was fine by him. But if he ever was, she’d just have to get used to the fact that Alex was in his life. Yeah, how well do you think that’s going to go when your new girlfriend realizes that sometimes you have inappropriate thoughts about your bestie?

  He shoved that thought aside. And to be fair, he hadn’t had inappropriate thoughts in, oh, days now. That was good. It wasn’t his fault. She was stunning, with all that beautiful café-au-lait skin that always seemed to glow, it looked so healthy. And her hair that always smelled like lemon-meringue pie. He knew it was her hair products. But he almost loved hugging her just for that. Almost. There were other reasons he liked having her in his arms. Reasons he wasn’t going to explore right now. He needed to get her on board. “Look, I know. This is a huge imposition.”

  “Justin, you know I would do anything for you. But this is ridiculous. I’m a bad liar. And Grandma Lucy will be able to tell. And I’m pretty sure they’ll notice when you bring me home and I’m like ‘Hey, my name is Alex.’ They’ll put two and two together that the person that you’ve been calling Alex all this time is somehow standing in as your girlfriend.”

  Okay, he hadn’t really thought of that. But that could work. ’Cause he could just pull the “Yes, we’re best friends. We also started dating” card. No biggie. That would totally work. “Relax. I doubt anyone will find it hard to believe that we started dating after being friends for a while.”

  Her tiny frown only deepened and she opened her mouth, then closed it again. Please don’t say no. Please don’t say no. Please do not say no.

  She chewed her bottom lip. “Justin, this is such a bad idea on so many fronts.”

  She didn’t want to do it. Not that he blamed her. She understood he had issues with his family.

  “Look, it’s fine.” He pushed off from the refrigerator and came over, took her hand and laid his head on her shoulder. When in doubt, use charm. Lots of charm. He’d gotten used to it. And could generally talk his way into or out of any situation. All he had to do was find the precise button to push. Figure out the right person to be. He was brilliant at determining what people needed. And being that person for them.

  What does that mean for you? Who do you want to be? Well, the person he wanted to be and who he was were two different types of people. The man that he really was, no one loved back. No one except Grandma Lucy. And right now, he would do anything to make her happy. And keep her healthy. And if that meant begging, then he would gladly get on his knees.

  Justin lifted his head. Alex was scant inches away from him.

  His first thought was God, I wonder how her lips taste. The next thought was also not helpful. They look soft. And then the next one was far less helpful and was way more naughty. That wasn’t so much of a thought as it was a visual of what they might get up to after their lips connected. He shook his head. Damn it. He’d been doing so well, managing to go whole days without a sexual thought about Alex. Because as much as he loved her, if he ever acted on even one of those notions, that would end everything. “Tell me what you need, Alex. And I’ll make it happen. Right now I’m pleading with you. As my best friend, I need your help.”

  * * *

  The man was good. Only problem was, Alex couldn’t do what he wanted. She couldn’t just give in. Because then he’d know. For the most part, she’d hid it well. That ridiculous sliver of hope she carried around that one day the sexy Justin Morrison would look at her like he did the string of women he brought around. He never looked at her like that. He viewed her like she was family. Which was nice. And important. But that deep, dark hidden part of her wanted so much more. If she pretended to do this, then she was going to expose herself. He was going to see.

  “Look, I think this is a bad idea, and I’ve got the gallery opening on New Year’s Eve. I can’t drop everything just to go to Catalina for a few days.”

  “I know. I will do everything possible to help you with this. You tell me what you need and I’ll give you hotel resources. I will make it happen so you can do this. I will clear any schedules, get a helicopter to fly you back to San Diego for meetings, whatever you want.”

  Alex shook her head. The man was exasperating. And sexy. And sweet. His dark brown eyes, the color of melted chocolate, implored her. And she wanted to give him anything. She wanted to give him everything. No. We are not giving him everything. This is a way to get your heart broken. Yes, yes, it was. And she was not going to be one of the many who had their heart broken by Justin Morrison. Of all the women in his life, she stuck around, because they hadn’t gone there with each other. They were friends. Just friends. “Okay, look, I know you need the help, whatever. Sheila, she’s your PR person. She’s smart, fun, and she’d totally get it. She is all about the image. Me, I constantly have paint under my fingernails, and generally somewhere else on my body that I don’t even notice, until you tell me.”

  “Sheila? Have you forgotten that she is a lesbian?”

  Good point. But she might still be willing to help out her boss. Although, that wasn’t ideal. Because then Sheila would really be lying. Plus, the two of them would have no chemistry and it would show.

  “Okay, so no Sheila. What about Madison? Madison likes you a lot.”

  Justin scoffed. “Madison? Are you insane? It took me months to get her off of calling me three times a day every day. Bunny boilers need not apply.”

  Despite herself, Alex laughed. “You are so wrong. Just because she made it known that she was totally into you did not make her a bunny boiler.”

  “It makes her clingy. And I don’t need to confuse matters. You’re the perfect choice. No waters to muddy. You know me better than anyone. You could help me navigate the obstacles of the family. I need you. Not Sheila, or Madison, or some other hired hand. I need my best friend.”

  She knew it was an honor. She’d give him anything. He didn’t need to know that. Because she was never going to tell him. “Justin, this is a bad idea.”

  “It’s only for a week. Just for the holidays. I’ll make sure you get to LA to do everything that you need to do for the gallery opening. And I’ll give you all the support you need. I just need three or four days. Catalina. And technically you’ll be just as far away from LA as you are now, so it’ll be fine. Please, Alex, I need you.”

  And because she was a fool, and because she cared too much about him, Alex sighed. “Okay, fine, I’ll do it.”

  Chapter 3

  “You agreed to do what?”

  Alex shifted under the scrutiny of her assistant Cassie’s gaze. “I said that I would pretend to be his girlfriend for a couple of days. It’s no big deal.” Alex busied herself getting the gallery ready, fiddlin
g with Bubble Wrap on the corner of a canvas.

  Cassie put her hand on her hips. “Look, I know I’m just the assistant here, but I’d like to think we’re friends, too. After all, we survived working for Peter together. He was a miserable old goat, but he put us together. Now I’m about to way overstep my boundary here.”

  Alex shifted on her bare feet. If Justin saw her, he’d roll his eyes. But she preferred to work without the restriction of shoes. It was more comfortable, and something about it made her feel free. “Okay, let’s have it.”

  “How long have you been in love with him?”

  The heat hit Alex first. Then embarrassment that her deep, dark secret that she’d been holding back from everyone, for years, was plain for someone to see. She and Cassie had known each other since she’d moved to San Diego. At the time, Cassie had worked for the artist Alex apprenticed for. When he’d moved to Europe, Cassie had stayed on to work with Alex.

  “I—What—I don’t know what you mean.”

  Cassie wrapped the next canvas like a pro. The medium-sized painting, featuring streaks of reds, blues, purples and golds and titled simply Closet, was one of her favorites. The closet was the metaphor for her life and the jumbled mess that it was. And now you’re putting it on display to be judged by everybody.

  “Okay, look, I’m totally out of my lane here. But I like you. And I know you’re not one for, like, oversharing or getting real close and whatnot, but I’m worried about you. If you think you can go to Catalina and be a stand-in girlfriend, you’re nuts. I see the way you look at him. I’ve looked at one too many guys like that. Like they walk on water.”

  Alex winced. “Is it really that obvious?” she whispered.

  Cassie shook her head. “No. No, don’t worry about that. It’s just I spend a lot of time with you. And Justin is always here. So I spend a lot of time with the two of you together. I just see these things. What I know is that with proximity, stuff is harder to hide. So what is your plan? Because I’m not letting my boss lady go to Catalina with a piece of toilet paper stuck to her shoe.”