The Roof is on Fire

by Brenda Hampton

  All he did was stare at me, and then his eyes returned to the book. Oh well, I suspected he didn’t like grapes. I reminded myself to ask Roc the same question later.

  I needed an A for effort and an A-plus for succeeding at making Jaylin feel differently about me. I didn’t care what anybody said. The most powerful, rich, handsome, spiritual, and successful men on this earth could be brought down by the power of one thing. I knew that thing to be pussy.

  I pretty much knew I’d have my work cut out for me with Jaylin, but my aggressive approach was well worth it. Roc, on the other hand, he was mad at me right now, but he’d soon be singing a new tune.

  To me, it wasn’t that much love one could have for another, particularly love for the woman Roc had been in a daze about. While no one was looking, I was doing my research. I saw several pictures of Desa Rae tucked inside of his sweat-suit jacket. There was another picture of the two of them with their daughter. There was something about Desa Rae that was interesting to me, so I dug further. I found out that she and Roc were engaged. She was much older than he was, she had a darn good job, and she lived in an upscale neighborhood outside of St. Louis. She was divorced, had a son who had recently graduated from college, and she was considered a plus-sized woman.

  Nowhere near as cute as I was, she still had it going on. I understood Roc’s attraction to her. What I didn’t understand was his love that was holding him back. Of course I was upset with him about how he’d spoken to me during the tennis game, but my anger with him had been stirring way before then. I didn’t like being rejected. I felt as if we had too many opportunities to get down and dirty with each other. I had put myself out there way too much, so at this point, I was considering blackmail. Not because I was interested in a relationship with Roc, but simply because I took issue with men who teased me. From day one, that was all he’d been doing. One day he’d be up, the next day down. He needed to stop pretending that he was so in love with Desa Rae. And more than anything, I saw his flirting as pure disrespect to me. It was also an insult, especially if he wasn’t serious about hooking up for real.

  Pertaining to the blackmail thingy, I didn’t have access to any cameras or cell phones where I could take pictures of him in the act doing something inappropriate. I wasn’t even sure if Desa Rae would trip, but what did I have to lose? In the end, I’d have a piece of her man and she’d have a headache.

  As for Jaylin, don’t think for one minute that I didn’t do my homework on him. He was a piece of work, so I wasn’t about to touch the madness he had going on. There were too many women—baby’s mamas, a wife, several mistresses, Facebook companions, too many kids—but a whole lot of damn money. With him, what you see is what you get. I couldn’t believe how much he was worth, but his money wasn’t what I was interested in. A good fuck would do me fine—case closed.

  At two in the morning, I sat in the living room by myself thinking and watching TV. Everyone else was asleep, or so I thought until Jada came out of the bedroom. Dressed in an oversized T-shirt for pajamas and a scarf tied around her head, she sluggishly made her way to the kitchen. I wasn’t sure if she saw me or not, until she snatched a bag of cheese puffs from the closet and turned around.

  “Shoot,” she said, coming into the living room and plopping down on the couch. “I got hungry. I couldn’t sleep for nothin’, and my stomach kept on grumblin’. I need a loxtative or somethin’.”

  I didn’t bother to correct her; those days were long gone. If she didn’t care about her incorrect usage of words, neither did I.

  “I don’t know if those cheese puffs are going to help your stomach. You may want to try something like a banana or some yogurt.”

  “No, thank you. I’ll stick to my cheese puffs and figure out my bowels later. Meanwhile, what you doin’ up so late?”

  “I’m watching a good movie on cable. I also had a lot on my mind and couldn’t sleep.”

  “Like what?”

  “You know, like what’s up with this house. I wonder how all of it will end. I also have some ideas in my head to make it end sooner. I guess my question for you is what’s your take on all of this? What do you expect to gain and how serious are you about being the last person here? More than anything, are you staying for the money?”

  Jada didn’t hesitate. “You’re damn right I’m here for the money. Ain’t you?”

  “At first I was. Now, I’m not so sure.”

  “Then, why else would you stick around? If it’s not for the money, then you may as well leave.”

  “No, I don’t want to leave. I’m kind of enjoying myself here. Roc and Jaylin are a trip. I’m intrigued by both of them.”

  “I am too, but I’m more intrigued by winnin’ that money.”

  I paused for a moment to look at the TV. Truthfully, I was in deep thought again. “Let me ask you another question, Jada. Is there any way possible that, if I win, we can split the money? Or if you win we’ll split it?”

  “No, ma’am, I’m sorry, there ain’t. I remember how it went down in that movie with Larenz Tate playin’ Frankie Lymon. He had all them wives, and after they agreed to split the money, Vivica Fox wound up takin’ the money and runnin’. Women can’t be trusted, and you know that I ain’t got no reason to trust you.”

  “No you don’t, but I guess that’s something I’ll have to earn over time.”

  “Good luck with that.” Jada stood up. “I’m goin’ to the bathroom, then I’m goin’ back to bed. I had a weird-ass dream. Do you know what it means when you find yourself caught up in a bedroom with four men?”

  “It means that you’re a freak with some serious sexual desires.”

  “I don’t know about all of that, but let me tell you what happened in my dream.”

  Jada started telling me about her dream. I cracked up and covered my mouth in disbelief. What kind of person had a dream like that? I couldn’t even picture Jaylin dancing to that song and begging her to be with him. Nor could I visualize Roc swinging on a pole and smacking his ass.

  “Were the grapes sweet?” I jokingly asked. “That was too funny.”

  “The grapes were real sour, but, girl, the men showed up and showed out in my dream. Do you think I should tell them about it?”

  “No, Jada, please no. They would think you’re out of your mind.”

  “That’s what I figured. By the time Prince showed up, I was happy to get out of there. I started runnin’ for the door and they all came after me. Even the men in the orchestra chased me.”

  “Wow. I don’t know what to say about that dream. The message behind it is so confusing. Have you had sex with a lot of men?”

  Jada looked up, seeming to be in thought. “Not really, but I don’t know what you might consider a lot of men. I’m sure I haven’t had more than you, but I could probably count the number of men I’ve had on both hands.”

  “Well, good for you. Believe it or not, I could probably do the same.”

  Jada stretched and yawned. “Just so you know, I don’t believe you, ’cause you come across as a woman who done had a lot of experience with dick. No offense, I’m just sayin’.”

  “And I’m sayin’ that it hasn’t been as many as you think. I’m picky and it takes a lot for a man to get this. Trust me on that.”

  Jada wasn’t buying it, but I didn’t care. More than anything, I used men to get what I wanted. Sometimes it revolved around sex, and sometimes it didn’t.

  “Whatever you say. I’ll see you in the mornin’. If I feel up to it, I’mma cook us some omelets filled with sausage, bacon, ham, and cheese. You and Jaylin ole funny actin’ selves can eat whatever. Roc and me gon’ throw down.”

  “I love omelets too, so count me in.”

  Jada nodded, then left the living room. She spent about twenty minutes in the bathroom, and after she finished, I went in. I sprayed Lysol and quickly changed into a turquoise lace nightgown that showed my goodies. I moisturized my skin with Forever Red lotion from Bath & Body Works, and then I stepped into a
pair of comfortable house shoes. Afterward, I left the bathroom and went out back to entertain the man who had been giving me all of the information I needed, especially since I was forced to switch to Plan B.

  “You look awesome,” Jeff said with pure lust in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me. “I’ve been dying to see you again.”

  “It’s a good thing the wait is over.”

  I took the envelope with more information in it from his hand. He followed me to a cozy spot in the far back of the game room. As he sat on the couch, I stood in front of him, touching myself. My nightgown hit the floor and his eyes scanned me from head to toe.

  “I want you to hurry up and leave here, Chase. I don’t know how much more of this sneaking around stuff I can do. It’s been no picnic watching you with Jaylin and Roc. I’d be lying to you if I said I wasn’t a little jealous.”

  A jealous man couldn’t even get it, but Jeff was sitting on too much information that I needed to win this challenge. He was willing to do just about anything for me, and with him being in charge of this whole thing, I could already taste victory.

  “Be patient,” I said. “Doing so will benefit both of us, and remember that Jaylin and Roc are only part of the plan. I need your help with this. When all is said and done, we will be able to spend as much time together as you want us to.”

  I stepped forward and straddled Jeff’s lap. He loved to suck my breasts and his hands roamed all over them.

  He removed his curled tongue from my tiny, hard nipple and looked up at me. “What about Jada, sweetheart? Are you concerned about her at all?”

  “Not one bit. She’s a loser, so ignore anything that she does around here. I’m going to use her to take care of a few things for me. Then she’ll be sent packing like everyone else. Now, if you don’t mind, my breasts kind of liked the attention you were giving them. Please resume. Let’s save the questions for another time, especially since I’ve waited all day for this.”

  Jeff smiled, but my smile was forced. I had to stroke his ego, and I knew that one fuck up from me could turn this whole thing around. He could easily turn his back on me. I didn’t want that to happen, so I was determined to put something heavy on his mind.

  He leaned in and took tiny bites on my lips. He didn’t even know how to grip my ass the right way, and I would bet any amount of money that Roc wouldn’t have a problem with it. I erased the thoughts of him from my head and laid Jeff back on the couch. I helped to remove his clothes and laughed to myself at the size of his package. In no way was it capable of satisfying me, but I pretended that it was the best. Jeff was my ticket to pulling myself out of debt. And if this wasn’t proof that a woman could get anything she wanted, I’d be happy to say it again. Never, ever underestimate the power of pussy. Well, not mine for sure.

  I was getting real pissed at how messy this house was. I figured everybody got tired of me complaining, but so damn what. If they didn’t want to hear my mouth, then it was in their best interest to start cleaning up after themselves. What may not have been nasty to them was too nasty to me. It was as if nobody gave a care that dust was starting to build up on the furniture or that the floors had lost their shine. Then there was the kitchen where dishes had been left overnight. If there was a dishwasher in the house, how or why wasn’t it being used?

  As far as the bedroom was concerned, forget it. Nobody made their beds, clothes were left on the floor, and the smell of funky socks permeated the air.

  The most irritating thing of all was the bathroom. Soap scum didn’t work for me and neither did hair follicles in and around the toilet. The mirrors were smudged and these fools didn’t even take time to put toilet paper on the roll.

  Even the patio, game room, and workout room were a mess. Used towels were here and there, and who in the fuck would drink something and leave their glass on the table? At this point, I wasn’t eating much, touching nothing, or sitting my ass on anything unless I cleaned it myself.

  With an attitude, I whipped up a quick fruit salad while the others ate omelets. Once I was done, I went outside to eat and read the newspaper. I wasn’t out there two minutes before Chase decided to join me.

  “I figured you wouldn’t eat those omelets Jada made, but from me to you, they were pretty darn good.”

  “From me to you, I don’t put stuff like that in my body. But thanks for the update.”

  Chase looked up and squinted at the sun. At eight in the morning, it was already scorching hot outside. “It looks like a great day to relax in the pool. After breakfast, would you like to join me? I’ll give you a nice massage and rub your entire body with some of my special oils.”

  “Sounds like a plan. But first, let me call Jeff to see what’s up with the maid service I inquired about. Then I need to check with Roc to see if he wants to finish the boxing game we started yesterday. I’ll let you know what’s up after that.”

  Chase nodded, then drank her apple juice. Minutes later, Jada came outside dancing with a plate in her hand. Half of her omelet was on it and several slices of toast were beside it. If dancing wasn’t enough, she started singing.

  “I’ve got jungle fever, he’s got jungle fever, she’s got jungle fever, we’ve all got jungle fever— Don’t we, Chase?”

  Chase gagged and spit some of the apple juice from her mouth. “Wha…what are you talking about, Jada?”

  Jada slapped Chase hard on her back, causing her jerk forward. “You know what I’m talkin’ about. Don’t play.”

  Chase appeared confused. “I, uh, don’t know, but it’s nobody’s business if I date white men. Is that what you’re getting at?”

  Jada winked at her. “That and a whole lot more. I also date white men, so it ain’t no biggie. I wonder if Jaylin dates white women. Do you Jaylin?”

  “Why is it that every time we out here chilling, y’all start asking me questions about my personal life? Who I date doesn’t matter. What matters is how y’all been fucking up and haven’t been keeping the house clean. Is it that hard, ladies, for y’all to pick up after yourselves?”

  “No,” Jada said, chewing her food. “But why should we clean when you around here actin’ like you’re employed by Merry Maids? My towels do not have to be neatly folded on the towel rack, my house shoes do not need to be placed beside my bed, my bed does not need to be made up in the mornin’, and my panties don’t have to be ironed. I guess you’ll be ironin’ those next, but please leave my stuff alone. In due time, I’ll put my stuff where it needs to be.”

  Chase defended her actions as well. “She’s right, Jaylin. What you do is a bit much. This house is not dirty at all. With four people living here, some things are to be expected.”

  I couldn’t believe what they were saying to me. “I’m speechless. After y’all get done eating, please get up and follow me.”

  Jada put her plate on the table and stood up. “I’m done with my plate. That was my second one and I’m full. You have my attention, so where are we goin?”

  Chase stood and both of them followed me into the house. We passed by Roc, who was sitting at the kitchen table eating with headsets on, listening to music. I stopped in the living room first, and swiped my finger across the top of the TV, the bookshelves and the table. A pile of dust was on my finger.

  “What’s up with this?” I said. “What does it look like?”

  “It looks like some dust bunnies are tryin’ to find a place to lay. Besides, you swiped your finger in three different places. If that’s all the dust you got, then what you complainin’ for?”

  “I agree,” Chase said. “It wasn’t that much, Jaylin, and you can find way more dust than that in my living room at home.”

  “I’m sure I would, and your comment doesn’t surprise me one bit. Follow me.”

  They followed me into the bathroom. The first thing that I pointed out was the hair follicles on and around the toilet.

  Jada gasped and put her hand close to her mouth. “Oh. My. God! That toilet is filthy! But, uh, I don’t see any
thing. What are you talkin’ about?”

  “Right there, Jada. I’m not going to touch it, but you see that hair on the toilet.”

  “One strand,” Chase said. “I see one little strand that I almost need a magnifying glass to see.”

  “You don’t need a magnifying glass to see that hair. All you need is some sense. It’s hair all over that toilet. Weren’t you supposed to clean the bathroom yesterday?”

  Chase folded her arms in front of her. “I did clean it, and I did a great job doing so.”

  “I’m glad you think so.” I swiped my finger along the scum on the glass shower doors. “If you cleaned the bathroom yesterday, then why is there soap scum on the glass?”

  “Jaylin, you need to quit,” Jada said. “I hope this maid service hurry up and get here, because you are workin’ my nerves with this mess. It ain’t that much cleanin’ in the world. You need to realize that some people don’t clean bathrooms with a toothbrush like you do.”

  “Some people don’t clean at all. I’m done griping about this, but when roaches start trying to go to bed with y’all, don’t come running to me.”

  I left the bathroom in a hurry so I could email Jeff to see what was up with the maid service I had recommended. He sent me an email back right away, telling me that someone would be here today. Thank God.

  After I read his email, I checked my fan mail. There was plenty of it, but one message in particular caught my attention, so I responded to Evelyn Walters from Los Angeles.

  Hello, Mr. Naughty Man. Like many people, I have followed your story since the very beginning. And needless to say, I can’t get enough of you. You’ve had me on an emotional rollercoaster, and I’m not quite ready to get off yet. I get upset with the women in your life for staying with you, but then I find myself mad at them for not giving you what you want. I do understand how difficult it is for them to pull themselves away from you, because here I am reading about you and I can’t let go. My question is what do you think it is that makes Jaylin Rogers so addictive?