The Nothing Girl

by Jodi Taylor

  Two complete strangers wandered in. I automatically drew back.

  ‘Hey,’ said the man. ‘That horse of yours needs more exercise.’

  Ah, that would be Boxer. The shiny buckets were for him.

  ‘I know, but he doesn’t like the rain.’

  ‘I don’t know what on earth possessed you to buy that big girl’s blouse in the first place.’

  ‘Well, I lost rather a lot of money on him a few years ago. It creates a bond.’

  ‘Hello,’ said the man, spotting me despite my best efforts. ‘I won’t wait for Russell to introduce us. He has the social skills of a bicycle. I’m Andrew Checkland. God help me, I’m some sort of cousin, although I try to keep that pretty quiet so please don’t tell anyone, and this is …’ He looked round. ‘Where did she go? I know she was behind me a minute ago. Hoi!’

  ‘Do not “hoi” at me,’ said his companion, hopping through the door trying to get a muddy shoe off. She was tall with blonde hair pulled back in a severe bun which showed off her cheekbones. She had a slight accent. I discovered later she was German. ‘I need help with this shoe.’

  ‘You have five hundred pairs of shoes. How can you have forgotten how to take them off?’

  Russell pulled up a chair before she toppled over. ‘Here you go, Tanya. Sit down while you struggle with the nasty English shoes. Please allow me to introduce my lunch date, Miss Jenny Dove. Jenny, this is some sort of semi-cousin I keep around out of pity, and the impossibly beautiful Miss Tanya Bauer who steadfastly refuses to leave him for me.’

  They were a very good-looking couple. Russell was, I thought, handsome in his own way, but he couldn’t match Andrew’s conventional dark good looks. There was a slight resemblance between them, but Russell’s face was longer and bonier. And Tanya was breath-taking.

  She smiled kindly. ‘I cannot shake hands because my hands are dirty as they always are when I come to Russell’s house, and this hound does not help, but I am very pleased to meet you.’

  I smiled back.

  ‘Nice to meet you, too,’ said Andrew, sliding into the seat opposite. ‘Have we met before?’

  ‘For God’s sake, Andrew,’ said Russell. ‘Give the girl a chance.’ He turned to me. ‘He’s a Checkland. He can’t help himself. Don’t be fooled by his superficial glamour. Concentrate on me.’

  Across the kitchen, Tanya gave up with her shoe. ‘It is immoveable and I have broken a nail,’ she announced. ‘Andrew, please bring me coffee.’

  He sighed heavily, and found two mugs. ‘Is this fresh?’

  ‘Nearly.’

  He poured two mugs and handed her one. ‘There you are, my legal lovely. Coffee to take away the pain.’

  ‘So,’ said Russell. ‘Don’t think it’s not lovely to see you but why are you here? Are you stopping long?’

  ‘Five minutes to check on Boxer, the house, and you. In that order of importance. And, of course, to meet this beautiful lady. Hello again, Jenny.’

  I smiled at him again. He was lovely. He twinkled back at me.

  ‘Stop that,’ said Russell.

  ‘Look at you,’ said Thomas. ‘ This time yesterday not a man in sight and now you’ve got two. Just imagine what you’ll have achieved by the weekend.’

  ‘You’ve seen the horse. The house has new buckets and I’m fine. You can go now.’

  Andrew drained his mug. ‘Alas. I have other patients. Patients who pay, no less. Your horse is fine, Russ. Just finish the course of tablets and he’ll be as good as new.’

  It struck me, watching the two of them, that he eyed Russell rather more closely than was warranted. I realised he’d heard about last night. He’d come to check on his cousin. I’d liked him as soon as I’d met him and now I liked him even more.

  He looked over at Tanya. ‘Are you ready?’ Another one who couldn’t sit still for long.

  ‘No,’ she said, placidly. ‘I want to finish my coffee and talk to Russell and Jenny.’

  He sat back down immediately. She sank her nose in her mug but not before she caught my eye for a very quick moment. So that’s how you manage a Checkland. Although I never knew there were two of them. I wasn’t sure the world was ready for this.

  ‘We’re going to start with the painting tomorrow,’ announced Russell.

  Andrew cocked an eyebrow. ‘We?’

  ‘Jenny’s agreed to lend a hand.’

  Andrew groaned. ‘You can’t rope this perfectly lovely young woman into acting as your unpaid drudge, Russell. The days of white slavery are done. Jenny, heed my words. Flee. Flee while you can. It’s not as if he’s going to pay you. He never pays me.’

  ‘You never send me a bill.’

  ‘He never pays me, either,’ said Mrs Crisp, coming back into the kitchen.

  ‘I do,’ said Russell indignantly. ‘I distinctly remember paying you last …’ he paused.

  ‘Last Wednesday?’ said Andrew, helpfully, and she snorted.

  ‘Oh! That was a really bad word. Don’t listen, Jenny.’

  ‘Last month? Last year? Good grief, Russ.’

  ‘I’m paid until the end of last month, thank you very much,’ she said.

  ‘There,’ said Russell. ‘I don’t know what all the fuss is about and frankly, given I’m such a wonderful employer, you should pay me.’

  Everyone snorted at that one and Thomas rolled his eyes at the language.

  Tanya, meanwhile, had finished her coffee. ‘I am ready to depart,’ she said, hopping to the door. ‘Oh, I remember now. Russell, you will come to lunch on Sunday. At one o’clock.’

  Andrew shrugged. ‘I never know whether it’s a wobbly grasp of the English language or she’s channelling her dominatrix side. Russell, we hope very much you will be able to join us for lunch on Sunday, around one-ish.’

  ‘That is what I just said.’

  ‘Indeed you did, my Teutonic temptress. I just rephrased in slightly more acceptable terms. Now there’s a chance he’ll actually come.’

  ‘Are you doing roast pork?’ said Russell, hopefully.

  ‘If you wish it.’

  ‘I do indeed, and you may phrase your invitation any way you please. If you could arrange for Andrew to be absent then the day will be perfect.’

  ‘No, he must be there to talk to you about your life and make sure you do not drink too much.’

  Andrew groaned. I giggled.

  ‘Yes,’ said Russell. ‘Good luck with that, mate. The door’s behind you.’

  Even Thomas didn’t argue when I bounced out of bed the next morning. I packed up a pair of old jeans, some battered trainers, a faded sweatshirt, a few toiletries, and a towel.

  I made sure to have a piece of toast with Mrs Finch in the kitchen just so no one would think I’d vanished off the face of the earth or been snatched by aliens, and Thomas and I oozed out into the drizzle at half past nine.

  Astonishingly, he was outside the post office waiting for us. I thought he looked relieved.

  ‘I wasn’t sure you’d come,’ he said, chucking my bag in the back and climbing in beside me. ‘I did wonder if you’d had second thoughts.’

  ‘No. Looking forward to it.’

  He laughed. ‘I’ll soon put a stop to that.’

  He pulled out to the usual fanfare of outraged beeping. I don’t think he ever actually heard it.

  Mrs Crisp was in the kitchen. ‘Lunch is at one,’ she said, severely.

  ‘Steady on,’ said Russell. ‘I’ve only just had breakfast.’

  ‘I’m talking to Jenny. Never mind him. You come down at one o’clock and take an hour for your lunch. Don’t let him gallop you through it in ten minutes and then have you back up those stairs again.’

  ‘You make it sound slightly indecent,’ said Russell to her retreating back. ‘We’re only painting, you know.’ A door closed behind her. ‘I don’t know,’ he muttered. ‘You pay them and they think they own you.’

  ‘Where shall I change?’ I asked, trying to get him back on track.

  ‘You�
��d better stay out of my room or we’ll have Mrs C muttering and crossing herself all morning, so use the nice one next door. Can you remember where it is? I’ll get the stuff ready and meet you at the top of the stairs. I thought we’d do the three small bedrooms first, then the nice bedroom, then the landing. I’ll do the stairs and we’ll finish with the important rooms downstairs. OK?’

  I nodded and shot off to change.

  ‘Do you know what you’re doing?’

  ‘Not a clue.’

  ‘I’ll stand well back then.’

  Actually, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Or I was a natural painter and decorator. Russell did the ceilings and I did the walls, which were quick and easy. I got rather a lot on me, especially the first day, and had to shower quite a bit out of my hair, but otherwise it went well.

  We fell out over our choices in music so we listened to Radio 4 instead, mostly so that Russell could shout insults and argue vainly with whichever presenter happened to incur his wrath. Which was all of them. I found it more entertaining than the actual programmes.

  Every day I emerged from the alley behind the post office, and resumed my normal life.

  ‘A bit like Superman,’ said Thomas, as I made my way home, pleasantly tired and with an unfamiliar but enjoyable sense of accomplishment. As far as I could see, no one had the slightest interest in my doings.

  Time passed happily and then Thomas burst the bubble.

  ‘You do realise that when you finish the dining room, probably the day after tomorrow, that’s it? All finished.’

  I hadn’t realised. I’d been enjoying myself so much that I hadn’t thought ahead at all. This time next week, I’d be back to my old ways. It was going to be hard. I’d had a glimpse of something better.

  I swallowed and nodded.

  ‘What will you do?’

  I shook my head.

  ‘Jenny … speak.’

  ‘I don’t know. I’ve got used to being out of the house. Maybe I’ll do some walking. Explore the moors.’

  ‘Not on your own.’

  ‘Maybe I’ll join a walking group.’

  ‘You?’

  I thought that was a little unkind. Normally it was Thomas urging me on to try new things. I thought he would be pleased.

  ‘Or maybe a book group.’

  Silence.

  ‘Or maybe the Local History Society.’

  More silence. What was wrong with him?

  ‘You think that’s the answer?’

  ‘What’s the question?’

  ‘What are you going to do about your feelings for Russell Checkland?’

  ‘Nothing. You must have noticed, since I’m sure it was you who pointed it out to me in the first place, that he’s head over heels in love with FrancescaKingdom.’

  ‘No, he’s not.’

  ‘Are we talking about the same people here?’

  ‘He doesn’t love her. He desires her. He’s obsessed with her. But he doesn’t love her. Nor she him.’

  ‘Well, he thinks he does, which is the same thing.’

  ‘Not quite, but stop changing the subject.’

  ‘I’m not. There just isn’t anything to say.’

  ‘Are you going to give up?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘ You’ve had a taste of something good. You loved it. Look at the difference in you. You’re positively sparkling. I’m surprised no one has said anything. Are you going to just give it all up? ’

  ‘What are you suggesting? That I repaint the house a second time?’

  ‘No,’ he said in such patient tones that I could feel myself losing my temper. ‘ I’m just saying you should make an effort before it’s too late. Do you really want these last two weeks to be the sole highlight of your life? ’

  I was so angry and hurt that I stamped off to bed there and then. I lay awake all night. Thomas stood by the window. I could hear his tail swishing. Neither of us spoke to the other.

  Nor were we speaking when Russell collected me the next morning. I was quiet. Thomas was quiet. Even Russell was quiet.

  We started the last room in a far from sunny atmosphere. I was annoyed with Thomas, who seemed to have gone out of his way to spoil my last few days here. It was so unlike him, I was upset and angry and ready to do anything to annoy the world.

  So you could say he made a really good job of setting me up for my first proposal of marriage.

  Chapter Three

  Painting the dining-room seemed to take for ever. Russell worked so slowly that several times I had to wait for him before I could do my bit.

  At about twelve thirty he suddenly said, ‘I’m hungry. Shall we have an early lunch?’

  I nodded, wrapped my roller in cling film, washed my hands, and followed him into the kitchen.

  I can’t remember what we had for lunch that day. That was a first. Mrs Crisp was a first-rate cook and we’d followed her instructions and lingered over lunch every day. I do know that at some point during the meal Thomas moved up beside me and whispered, ‘ Pay attention. I think this next bit is going to be important.’ He went to stand by the window again, looking out at the rain.

  Russell, who had been nearly as silent as me, made coffee and passed me my usual mug. This was probably the last time this would ever happen. There was so little to do that he could easily finish it himself tomorrow. He was working himself up to tell me he didn’t need me any more. I tried to be philosophical about it. Even just two weeks was better than none at all.

  ‘No, it’s not.’

  He stirred his coffee, put down the spoon, picked it up, stirred his coffee again, and said, without looking at me, ‘I’ve been thinking.’

  He stared at his coffee for so long that I stared at it too, wondering if there was something wrong with it. He seemed nervous? What was going on?

  ‘I’ve been thinking,’ he said again, presumably in case I hadn’t grasped it the first time round. ‘I’ve had a bit of an idea and I don’t want you to say anything until I’ve finished.’

  As if that wouldn’t happen anyway.

  ‘It occurs to me, Jenny, that you and I may be able to help each other out a little.’

  Having got so far, he lapsed back into silence, staring at his still swirling coffee. Confused, I glanced over to Thomas, who was apparently still engrossed in the darkening landscape outside but had his ears turned back so he wouldn’t miss anything.

  And then I got it. Of course, he wanted to borrow money. That was what the tour had been about, getting me involved in the painting, buying the buckets, the lunches, all leading up to a request for a loan. I don’t know why he was so embarrassed. I was quite happy to help. Of course, Uncle Richard wouldn’t be. He wouldn’t be happy at all. He was a solicitor. He didn’t like Russell Checkland. It wouldn’t be easy, but at the end of the day, the money was mine and there were no strings attached.

  And maybe, said an inner voice, you’ll get to come here again. He’s certain to want to show you how the money’s being spent. This means you can come back.

  He obviously came to a decision, pushed his coffee away and said, all in a rush, ‘The thing is, Jenny, I need money and you’ve got some. And you need a home and I’ve got one. I think we should get together for – mutual benefit.’

  I stared at him, completely confused.

  ‘Good grief.’

  ‘Are you suggesting …? No, I … What?’

  He stared at me in exasperation. ‘What?’

  ‘That’s what I said.’

  ‘Are you deliberately trying to make this difficult? Is this funny to you?’

  I felt tears well up. ‘What? What did I do wrong?’

  ‘Nothing. Nothing. I’m sorry. For God’s sake, don’t cry.’

  ‘I’m not crying,’ I sobbed. ‘But I … don’t know what you want and I’ve … done something wrong.’

  ‘No, no you haven’t. Here.’ He pulled out a paint-stained rag. On the grounds I couldn’t make it any more revolting, I blew my nose and hand
ed it back.

  ‘My, you’re a thorough girl, aren’t you?’

  I couldn’t help a watery smile.

  ‘Oh God, I’ve done this all wrong.’

  ‘You certainly have,’ said Thomas.

  Done what? What was going on? I had that awful feeling you get when everyone knows what’s going on but you. Things started to clench inside. My last day was ruined.

  He turned his chair to face me and took my hand. ‘I’ve made a complete pig’s ear of this. Let’s regard that as my practice swing and begin again. OK, here goes.

  ‘Jenny. We each have things the other needs. I need money to finish restoring this old place. It eats money but it’s my home and I love it. I hope you will too. With money I can begin to paint again and pick up my reputation. It would be a new beginning for me.

  ‘You – you need a home. You need to get away from Julia and Richard. I know they’ve looked after you and you’ve wanted for nothing. Except a life, opportunities, and fun, of course. I can give you a home. You can live here with me. You’ll have this house and the gardens to play with. I’ll introduce you to a few people if you wish. Or not. Whatever you want to do. The point is, there’s a whole world out there and it’s time you were part of it. Frankly, if you don’t do it now then you probably never will. Is that what you want, Jenny?’ His voice softened. ‘To spend every single day of your life doing exactly the same thing, at exactly the same time, with exactly the same people? For the rest of your life? Don’t you want to travel a little? Get out there? Not know what each day will bring? I can help you. I will help you. We can help each other. I can’t see a downside to this.’

  He was picking up speed now.

  ‘And you don’t have to worry about … you know. I’m a selfish sod, but I’m not that bad. I shan’t be imposing myself on you. And if you … well, if you were to meet someone … then I’m not going to be … As long as you’re discreet, of course,’ said the most indiscreet man in the county. ‘I just think – there’s a way we can both get what we want and need. It’s quick, it’s painless, and we both benefit. What do you think?’