Damaged and the Knight

by Bijou Hunter

  “Why does everyone call him Outlaw?”

  Judd scratched at his stubbled cheek and shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Just thought you’d want to know who took care of the bitch.”

  Glancing again at Vaughn, I decided to change the subject. “Aaron sketched up a tattoo design for me. We’ll start on it soon, but he thinks I can’t handle all the pain in one sitting, so he’s breaking it into parts.”

  “What’s the tattoo of and where will it be?” he asked, glancing over my breasts.

  “A fallen angel and it won’t be on my boobs, Judd.”

  Laughing at my tone, he didn’t seem to hear the first part. I saw when the words registered.

  “Why fallen?” he asked, his gaze harder now.

  Holding his gaze, I refused to back down. “You know.”

  “Fuck you for thinking that makes you fallen.”

  “Fuck you for thinking you know what I am.”

  Judd suddenly laughed. “What?”

  Grudgingly, I smiled. “Whatever. You’re irritating me.”

  “Where’s the tat going to be? Something around your heart shaped ass maybe?”

  “Heart shaped?”

  Judd wiggled his eyebrows at me. “I love that damn ass of yours. Shit, this morning when you walked over to get your clothes, I about jizzed myself.”

  “Yummy. Best breakfast conversation ever.”

  “You’re telling me,” he said, licking his lips and I suspected his jeans were snug.

  “Stop. You’re going to get me all worked up around these…”

  Glancing around, I suddenly panicked. As if the now faded and I was falling back into the past, the noise was too much and all of those men looked too familiar. Aroused in a room full of bikers sent me over the edge into terror.

  “What?” Judd asked, taking a gulp of his orange juice.

  Leaning forward, I whispered, “The men who hurt me were bikers.”

  Judd was holding the glass when I said the words. I hadn’t finished the word bikers when the drink shattered in his hand. Startled, I jumped back.

  “Fuck!” Judd hollered, standing up and looking ready to hit someone.

  “I’m sorry,” I said instinctually. “I didn’t mean it.”

  Judd frowned at me and I knew by his expression he saw my fear.

  “Dude, calm the fuck down,” Vaughn said, standing next to us now.

  Judd glanced at his juice covered hands. When he looked up, he sighed. “Watch her while I clean up.”

  Vaughn said nothing as Judd disappeared into the restroom. Watching him go, I felt like I should just leave. I was scared with everyone staring at me.

  “Come sit at my booth,” Vaughn said, gesturing to a booth in the corner. “Judd doesn’t like booths. Something about needing to stretch out his legs or some shit. He’ll have to deal though since he crapped all over the table.”

  “Thank you,” I mumbled, following him to the booth and sitting down.

  “What the fuck was that about?” Vaughn said, standing over me.

  “I pissed him off.”

  Dark blue eyes flicking to the restroom, Vaughn reached back and scratched at his shoulder. “All I know is when Judd came back from Texas, he was all hollowed out. Like a ghost, I guess. This morning before his bitch fit, he looked alive again. Whatever you said or did, can’t be that big a deal compared to the shit mood he’s been in lately.”

  Glancing at the restroom, I wanted to go back to before I said the words. My honesty ruined our happy morning.

  “You can’t take it personally,” Vaughn added when I just stared at the restroom. “You know how moody Judd is. Always crying and bitching about something. A freaking drama queen.”

  Grinning, I looked up at him. “Thank you.”

  “Men like us aren’t used to pretty girls looking at them like you look at Judd. He’s not sure what to do with you and you’re just gonna have to be patient while he figures shit out.”

  “Okay,” I said, studied him. Whereas Judd hid a deep sorrow and iced heart behind his walls, I sensed Vaughn concealed a barely contained rage. He smiled easily enough, but it was a ruse. Just like Judd who acted like the world didn’t touch him, Vaughn faked his exterior to avoid showing anything to the world.

  “Why do they call you Outlaw?” I asked.

  Vaughn sighed. “Because it’s nicer than calling me dead man walking.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “You don’t need to, darlin. The drama queen returns.”

  When Judd appeared next to me, his expression was unreadable while kissing me softly. When he pulled away, his gaze flickered to Vaughn.

  “Thanks.”

  “You are so premenstrual sometimes.”

  Grinning, Judd sat down across from me then glanced at Vaughn. “Fuck off.”

  Vaughn leaned his hip against the side of the booth and sized me up. “What is it about the Smith sisters that makes otherwise strong men lose their balls?”

  “I have no idea and I’m out of sisters, so I guess you’re out of luck.”

  “Thank the Lord too. I like my balls attached.”

  Laughing, I looked at Judd who grinned at me before glancing up at Vaughn. “Go away.”

  “Fuck you,” Vaughn laughed. “This is my booth.”

  “Yeah, well, I need time alone with my woman. You can go sit at the counter with the old timers. Share war stories about all the pussy you’ve hit.”

  Vaughn rolled his eyes. “Nice manners, shithead.”

  “Thanks again for the help, asshole.”

  I smiled as Vaughn walked way. As soon as he was out of earshot, Judd looked at me and sighed.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I shouldn’t have told you.”

  “Fuck no. You should never hide shit to make me happy. It’s just…” Judd paused and studied me for a moment. “Everything about me must remind you of them. My tats, the Harleys, every fucking thing. I already knew I was an asshole to be with you, but when you told me that, it was like more evidence that this was a mistake.”

  “So you’re breaking up with me?” I asked, a cold panic in my gut.

  “Fuck no,” he said, giving me a little smile. “I am an asshole and I want you. I can taste you on my lips and feel you against me. I still remember how damn perfect it was waking up with you this morning. I should have hated having someone in my place, but it felt right. I know I’m kidding myself and wasting your time, but I’m too selfish to let you go.”

  “Good.”

  Judd smiled. “I’m not a man you should depend on.”

  “Last night when I was feeling like a loser and hating myself, you helped pull me back. No one besides Farah and Bailey has ever done that. Usually people ignore me when I’m feeling bad or they make it worse. You didn’t walk away, Judd. You made me see the light when I was suffocating in the dark.”

  “Any man would do that shit.”

  “You think Ryan would? He wasn’t a bad guy, but he would have told me to call someone or see a therapist or something that didn’t involve him having to stick around. You faced the darkness with me.”

  “I still remember the look in your eyes that said you weren’t sure living another day was worth it. That look scared the shit out of me and I’m worried I’ll fuck up and make you look like that again. I’m not a good man, but I can’t be the monster that destroys you.”

  “Vaughn is right. You are a drama queen,” I teased and Judd grinned slightly. “I’m eating now. No more talk of you being an asshole and me as your victim. Happy thoughts for the rest of breakfast.”

  Judd glanced at Vaughn who frowned at the guy on the stool next to him. Clearly, Outlaw didn’t like his bar buddy. Judd must have noticed this too because he laughed quietly.

  “So is he like your BFF?” I asked once I’d finished eating every bite of food.

  “I guess. We’re not so different, but we’re different enough from the others. He’s got my back when I need it covered. I guess that makes us B
FFs.”

  “This is the first time I’ve ever had real friends besides Farah. It’s nice to know I won’t move and they won’t forget me. I mean, I guess, they could stop liking me, but I hope they won’t.”

  “Bailey looks at you like Pearl looks at me when I give her that canned food. She’s not a sweet kid, but she likes you and that means something.”

  “I tell her like it is.”

  “Like you tell me.”

  “Yep, so no more trying to run away from me, Judd. Just give in and let me have my way with you.”

  Laughing, Judd studied me like he was picturing me naked. My skin warmed and I slid under the table and up on his side of the booth.

  “Hello,” I murmured as he frowned at me. “I don’t want these big strong biker boys and girls thinking you’ve gone soft because you’re having all of these feelings for me.”

  “What does…?”

  Kissing him, I cradled his head against me and straddled his lap. Judd immediately wrapped me against him and I wished we were alone, so the erection in his jeans wouldn’t go to waste.

  When our lips parted, he sighed. “I love those eyes, angel. When they look at me, I feel like anything is possible.”

  I started to grin until I heard laughing and sensed we were on display. Glancing at them, I tightened my grip on Judd as if to say, “So what? He’s mine. Suck it.”

  Judd though wasn’t interested in their laughter. He glared hard at them and literally growled like a dog. While I giggled at the sound, the men shut up and moved away.

  When Vaughn saw this display, he yelled out, “Whipped is a good look on you, brother.”

  “I’m packing, Outlaw. Don’t make me pull it out.”

  At the same moment, Judd, Vaughn, and I thought of the same thing and started laughing.

  “Yeah, don’t pull it out here, baby,” I said, giggling. “I’m the only one who should be looking at it.”

  Judd leaned his head back and sighed. “It’s not my fault, you know. All of the blood left my brain the minute you sat on my lap.”

  “Poor bastard,” I whispered in his ear as I nibbled on the lobe. “Is there anywhere private we can take the SUV between here and the grocery store? I’m feeling fuzzy in the head myself.”

  Cupping my face, Judd kissed me like we might just strip down right there. His lips owned me for the next few minutes then he slowly softened the kiss until his lips were no longer attached to mine.

  “I can think of a place.”

  I gave him a little grin then slid off his lap. “I’m going to clean up then we can go.”

  “I’ll just watch that sweet ass of yours say goodbye.”

  “Oh, those words make me swoon, Judd. Really,” I murmured, walking away.

  After a trip to the toilet and a quick glance at my teeth, I considered forcing myself to look in the mirror and see what Judd did. Chickening out, I left the restroom to find Vaughn leaning against the booth and teasing Judd. I assumed he was teasing only because Judd rolled his eyes then flipped off a laughing Vaughn.

  “Aw, here is the owner of your sac,” Vaughn announced when I appeared. “Take good care of it, darlin. Judd lives a dangerous life and balls are occasionally necessary.”

  “He can sign them out for special occasions.”

  Vaughn laughed again even as Judd put on his grumpy face. He wasn’t selling it though and I sensed he was more irritated at having to move around with an erection in those tight blue jeans.

  Soon, we were parked in a quiet spot behind a closed auto shop and his snug jeans were shoved down his thighs. I could barely remove my clothes fast enough. Tearing off my shirt and shoving down my bra, I craved him inside me. Wanting all of Judd, I moaned with satisfaction as he thrusted deep into me. For a moment, we simply watched each other then he smiled and I couldn’t wait any longer.

  As the wind swayed the SUV, I rocked along with it. Judd relaxed as I grinded against him. His gaze was soft as he pulled at my nipples, teasing them in a lazy way like he was simply curious with his new toys.

  No matter his leisurely affection, I orgasmed again and again like I had been saving them up all through breakfast. By the time Judd’s movements lost their leisurely tempo and he groaned deep his chest while coming hard, I was out of breath and laughing like a crazy person. In Judd’s arms, the world felt like a beautiful amazing place and I was its queen. I could do anything and be anyone as long as I was with my knight.

  Resting my cheek against his shoulder, I caught my breath as he softened inside me.

  “Twenty four hours ago,” Judd said in a gentle voice, “you thought I was shit and I wondered if I would ever see you smile at me again. Now, I’m balls deep inside you where anyone can see. How the hell did we end up here?”

  Lifting my face from his chest, I frowned. “You really are a drama queen, Judd. Shit, we can’t even have a quickie in the car without you going emo on me.”

  Judd gave me a half grin then sighed. “I was only hoping for a smile last night. Now, I feel like I don’t deserve everything I’ve been handed.”

  “Maybe you don’t, but twenty four hours ago, I was going on a date with some random guy to help me forget about how much I wanted you. Twenty four hours ago, I thought my heart would hurt forever and I’d settle for anything just to ease the pain. Now, I’ve got you balls deep inside me. Seems to me like the last twenty four hours have been pretty fucking awesome.”

  “Fuck ya, they have, angel. Hell, at this rate, we’ll need more condoms.”

  Grinning, I slid off his lap and next to him in the backseat. Pulling my jeans back up, I glanced quickly as he hid the part of his body I had enjoyed so much.

  “You’ve got it bad,” Judd teased. “I’m starting to feel like a piece of meat.”

  Laughing, I leaned against him. “You’re so damn gorgeous and I’m so fucking shallow. What can I tell you?”

  As I adjusted in the backseat, so my cheek rested against his chest, Judd wrapped me in his arms.

  “I’m safe, you know,” I said, glancing up at him. “When I got to town, Farah took me to the doctor and had me checked out. I’m clean and on birth control.”

  “Don’t say clean,” Judd muttered. “I hate when you talk about yourself like that.”

  “I just mean I’m disease free. We got lucky back when that stuff happened. My dad took us to a clinic afterwards and got us tested. Those guys weren’t the sort to use condoms.”

  “Well, I am, but that doesn’t mean shit. I’ve been with a lot of women and I’m careful because I never wanted kids or to have my dick rot off. Careful doesn’t mean safe though,” Judd said then sighed. “When I saw you that day and decided I was getting a second chance even if I had to beg like a bitch, I also knew I should get checked out. Bad enough I was going to chase you even if I knew I shouldn’t. If I caught you, I didn’t want to get you sick. Since I haven’t heard back yet, I’m trying to be safe here.”

  “Uh, I licked you last night.”

  “Shit, Tawny, stop talking about that stuff or else I’m putting you back on my lap.”

  Grinning, I sighed. “What’s it like to have your balls under my control? Does it make you sad?”

  Judd smirked. “Vaughn is getting his ass kicked for starting with the ball shit.”

  “I like him.” When Judd frowned, I grinned at the possessive glare in his eyes. “I’m not done with you yet, stud, so don’t get so pissy.”

  A grin lingered around his lips as he kissed my forehead. “He’s a good guy, but I doubt he’ll make it to thirty.”

  “How come?”

  “He pissed off the wrong people. Eventually, that decision will get him a bullet to the head. Well, that’s if he’s lucky. If they get the drop on him, Vaughn will wish he died quick.”

  “What did he do?”

  “Doesn’t matter. Shit gets done in the heat of the moment and we have to live with those decisions. Like with me hurting you that day. I made a decision and I fucked up. Then, I saw you and
made another decision and fucked up again. We can only roll with our fuckups.”

  “Very Yoda there.”

  “I try,” he said, brushing hair from my face. “You look tired.”

  “Stomach’s full and I came so hard I forget my name. That’s the kind of stuff that makes a girl sleepy.”

  “Well,” Judd nearly whispered, “how about we go pick up some things at the store then head back to my place?”

  “I need stuff too.”

  “Fine, we’ll drop your stuff off at that shithole you call an apartment. Then, we’ll crash at my place.”

  “Wanna take a nap? Cooper and Farah do it all the time.” A lazy grin lit up Judd’s face and I rolled my eyes. “Napping isn’t code.”

  “I don’t nap, babe. I wouldn’t mind hanging out at home while you napped though. I wasn’t planning on doing anything today besides watching some crap on DVR.”

  Staring up at him, I felt strangely nervous to say the words. Finally, I forced them out. “Can I sleep over tonight?”

  Judd gave me another lazy grin. “Where else would you sleep, angel?”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Judd and I didn’t rest for a good hour after we returned to his place. By the time I dozed off on his comfy bed, every part of my body was in a state of bliss. Dreaming of nothing important, I avoided nightmares and ugly memories. My dreams were just mindless thoughts about wiping tables and petting Pearl.

  Rolling around in bed, I refused to wake up, certain I hadn’t slept for very long. The clock didn’t agree with my assessment

  “Shit,” I muttered, realizing most of the day was gone.

  A shirtless Judd appeared at the bedroom door and leaned against the frame. His faded blue eyes studied me then a smile slowly lit up his handsome face.

  “Your nipples miss me.”

  Covering my chest, I rolled my eyes. “I’m just cold.”

  “No, you’re not,” he murmured, popping the button on his jeans. “You were really tired, babe.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Judd shook his head as he kicked off his jeans. “You were dead to the world. I even cuddled with you for a little bit, but you never woke up. Trust me that I gave you plenty of incentive too.”