Hold On

by Kristen Ashley

  Therefore, the first time in my life acting selfishly with my kid (but also because I didn’t want to push things too hard too fast for Merry, thinking a quick dinner might be better than forcing him to spend hours with Ethan), I’d told him no.

  Due to his exhilaration, I’d expected devastation.

  But I’d forgotten in his childlike excitement that my kid was growing up. And apparently, part of that was him understanding that Merry and me needed some time just him and me, especially this early with what we were starting.

  So Ethan had relented easily.

  That didn’t mean he wasn’t jazzed about dinner.

  Obviously, seeing as at that moment, he’d totally forgotten to hide his excitement and act the man of the house around Merry.

  “I see,” I muttered, moving in and looking to Merry, who stood in the open front door, watching and waiting for me to get to him.

  Also watching and waiting for me to give him clues as to how to play this in front of Ethan.

  I’d taught him that too, the hard way, and he’d learned, giving me what I needed.

  God, Merry.

  I moved close, lifted a hand, touched his chest, and held his gaze as I tipped back my chin.

  He moved a hand to my waist and bent in, touching his lips to my cheek.

  We broke apart.

  “You can be gooey,” Ethan declared, and both Merry and I looked to him. “Mom loves gooey. She’d be gooey all the time if I let her,” he went on to share. “With me, she has to cap it. It’ll be good to have another guy around so she can get more shots at bein’ gooey.”

  I stared at my son.

  Then I said, “Shut up, kid.”

  He looked at me, grinning wickedly. “Forget that, Mom.” His eyes went to Merry. “I’m almost eleven,” he announced. “Eleven years, dude, where it’s been just Mom and Gramma and me. They’re ladies. I’ve had no other guy around. They rock, but I’m a guy with two ladies. I think you get me. Now I’ve got a guy. That’s a big thing for me. So, just sayin’, I’m so totally spilling anything you need.” He jerked his thumb at himself and completed his grand offer. “You wanna know, I’m your man.”

  I put my hands on my jeans-clad hips and repeated, “Uh…shut up, kid.”

  Ethan kept grinning. “No way. Girls stick together and I’ve had years of that. But guys stick together too. You’re screwed.”

  I looked to the ceiling wondering, after dancing around for years in a G-string on a stage with a bunch of losers ogling me, if I had it in me to blush.

  I found I didn’t.

  I also found Merry’s hand at the small of my back.

  I turned my attention to Merry for him to tell me immediately, “He’s not wrong, babe. Guys stick together.”

  “See!” Ethan cried.

  “How about you two guys go out for dinner and I’ll stay home, knitting or something?” I suggested.

  That was when Merry’s hand slid along my back, his fingers curling around my side and pulling me into his side.

  “You start knitting, you totally lose cool mom status,” Ethan warned.

  “What?” I asked him. “You mean your friends coming over and me using them to try on sweaters with penguins and crap on the front won’t go over good?”

  Ethan made a face.

  Merry emitted a chuckle.

  Vaguely, I heard a car door slam but felt Merry’s movements, so I looked from my kid to him to see him looking over his shoulder through the storm door to see what had made that sound.

  I also felt his body instantly get tight beside mine.

  At his reaction, I looked beyond him and saw Peggy’s minivan at the curb behind Merry’s Excursion, Peggy clearly visible in the passenger seat and Trent was making his way around the hood.

  Shit, I’d forgotten he’d said he was going to be here Friday at five thirty to pick up Ethan.

  Of course, I’d told him Ethan wouldn’t be here so he shouldn’t bother.

  But now Ethan was here, so was I, and so was Merry.

  Damn.

  Merry started to disengage from me as the room started to get heavy with his pissed off, badass vibe.

  Shit and damn.

  “Ethan, go to your room,” I ordered swiftly.

  “What’s Dad doin’ here?” he asked.

  I looked to my son to see him staring confused out the storm door.

  “Ethan, kid, go to your room. Please.”

  “I told him I didn’t wanna come this weekend.” His voice was pitching higher, almost whiny in a way I never heard anymore unless he was really tired or not feeling good.

  He really didn’t want to be with his dad.

  And he really wanted to spend time with Merry and me.

  “Ethan—”

  “Man,” Merry spoke over me, “help your mom out by doin’ what she says, yeah?”

  Ethan’s eyes jerked to Merry, he nodded, then looked at me before he dashed toward the hall.

  Another boon. Ethan looked up to Merry, so when Merry spoke, he didn’t talk back.

  On this thought, I heard the storm door let out its opening whisper and I looked that way to see Merry stalking out of it.

  Badass unleashed.

  Shit!

  I moved to follow him, watching as Trent, nearly halfway up the walk, eyes to feet it weirdly seemed he was dragging, sensed another presence and looked up.

  He got one look at Merry and jolted to a stop in a way that would have been funny if I wasn’t worried Merry was about to go apeshit.

  I dashed out the door and down the walk, listening to Merry order, “Turn around and go home.”

  “Who are you?” Trent asked.

  “I’m the man tellin’ you to turn around and go home,” Merry answered.

  Trent stared up at him, but when I hit Merry’s side, he tore his eyes away and looked to me.

  “Who’s this guy?” he asked, jerking a thumb at Merry.

  “Answered that,” Merry bit out, and Trent’s gaze shot back to him. “Now, get in your car and go home.”

  “Trent!” Peggy shouted from the car, not opening her window, opening her door. “What’s goin’ on?”

  “Ma’am, remain in the car,” Merry ordered loudly.

  I watched Peggy register an order that went against what she wanted to do and I saw what she hid barely under the surface.

  Apparently, no man but God told Peggy Schott what to do, that “God” being in her head, which meant no man told Peggy Schott what to do.

  Instantly, she was visibly ticked.

  “Where’s my kid?” Trent asked.

  I decided to try to take over. “I told you, Trent, he needs a break from you. And Ethan told you he wasn’t comin’ this weekend. I also confirmed that with you.”

  “And Trent told you he was.” Peggy had decided to wade in. She was out of the minivan and hoofing it our way.

  I looked to the back to the two car seats her kids were in.

  “Mrs. Schott, your children are in your vehicle,” Merry told her, and Peggy’s eyes snapped to him at him using her name.

  “You know me?” she asked.

  “I know you,” Merry answered, his voice low with more meaning than the possibility that I’d shared who Peggy was.

  She made it to Trent and her head tipped to the side as she stared at Merry.

  “You were there, at the bar with Cheryl,” she decreed, as if this was news Merry was unaware of.

  “I was,” Merry confirmed. “Now, both of you, please return to your vehicle and go home.”

  “We’re pickin’ up Ethan,” Peggy declared.

  “You’re not,” I declared right back, and Peggy turned her screwed-up eyes to me. “And we’re not doin’ this now. I explained to Trent that Ethan needed some space. I also explained to Trent that while Ethan was gettin’ that, we could sit down and talk about what the future might bring. But that’s not happening now. That’s happening at a time when we’ve all got our shit together and can talk about it rationally.
In the meantime, Ethan’s said he doesn’t wanna spend time with you. If you wanna connect with him, talk to him on the phone.”

  “Ethan doesn’t get to make those decisions,” Peggy spat. “He’s just a little boy. His father makes those decisions.”

  “I’m afraid he doesn’t,” I returned.

  “And I’m afraid you’re wrong,” Peggy shot back. “Trent’s his father. He’s got rights.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” Merry put in sharply, and Peggy’s eyes sliced to him. “Trent Schott relinquished his rights when his girlfriend told him she was carrying his child and he cleared out after he cleaned her out. In this situation, Trent has no rights. In this situation, Ethan’s mother makes all the decisions about where her son will be and with whom. She’s made her decisions. She’s communicated them repeatedly. Now, I’ll say it again, return to your vehicle and go home.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” Peggy snapped.

  That was when Merry reached under the hem of his leather jacket and pulled something out of the back pocket of his jeans, that something being the badge he shoved into his belt at his front right hip.

  “I know exactly what I’m talkin’ about,” Merry said lethally.

  “You called the cops?” Trent asked, his voice high and even more whiny than Ethan’s had been minutes before.

  “I didn’t call the cops,” I answered.

  “Well, he’s a cop.” Trent jerked his head Merry’s way.

  “I am. I’m also her boyfriend,” Merry announced.

  Trent’s mouth dropped open, his eyes bugged out, and his torso automatically reared away from Merry.

  Peggy’s lips parted, but her eyes squinted so tight, they looked shut.

  Trent looked to me and his voice was even higher when he asked, “You’re seein’ a cop?”

  “She is,” Merry answered for me. “And as her boyfriend, not a cop, I’m askin’ you one last time to return to your vehicle. You make me ask again, that request will come from a cop.”

  All this went down, but it was lost on Peggy.

  She was stuck back earlier in the conversation.

  “Trent has rights,” she declared, looking between Merry and me.

  “That’s simply not the case,” Merry replied. “Not legally. Not informally. The only rights he has are those Cher grants him. And she’s not granting him the right to see Ethan. This means you have no choice but to leave.”

  “It means we got no choice but to get Trent legal rights,” she returned.

  My heart clenched painfully, but Merry just shrugged.

  “That’s your call. But no judge is gonna rise up in a puff of smoke to appear in Cher’s yard to grant them to you right now, so I’ll say it again, turn around and go home.”

  No judge is gonna rise up in a puff of smoke…

  God, I loved it when Merry was funny, especially when he was funny smack in the middle of Peggy being Peggy and Trent being his normal loser.

  Peggy looked to me and threatened, “This isn’t over.”

  I looked at her and retorted, “Yes it is.”

  “Get ready for the battle of your life,” she warned.

  “Already won that,” I fired back. Then I gave her what she needed to try to find it in her to do the right thing. “You can work with me to help you build a relationship with my son, or you can work against me. You work against me, I won’t have to do anything—Ethan will tell you, a judge, he’ll shout it at the top of his lungs that he wants nothing to do with you. And if that’s what my boy wants, that’s what I’ll get for my boy. If you care about him and want him in your life and as a part of your family, you have this window of opportunity to do that the right way. Don’t fuck it up.”

  “No judge is gonna let a boy be raised by a woman who’s got no problem usin’ the f-word,” Peggy sniped.

  “No judge in this whole fuckin’ country is gonna take my boy away from me,” I returned.

  “You’re livin’ a fantasy,” she spat.

  “I’m not the one who’s willing to commit the crime of kidnapping,” I said softly.

  Her torso swung back, her eyes got wide, and even Trent was smart enough to separate himself from Peggy at this juncture, this bit of news being shared in front of a cop. He shifted away from her side.

  “Yeah,” I whispered. “You threatened me. I took action. I’ll keep doin’ that since I got friends who’re good at findin’ out shit, and I’ll find out so much shit about you, about Trent, I’ll bury you. Nothing…not…one…thing is gonna be forced on my kid that he doesn’t want. I’ll go to the mat for that, Peggy. I’ll die for that. I’ll do anything for that. Mark my words, you battle me, you will not win. I’ll fight you every day of my life. I’ll spend every dime I have. And I won’t go down swingin’ because I will not ever quit fightin’.”

  Only the barest hint of hesitation crossed her features before she leaned in and hissed, “He needs saved from you.”

  Shit, there it was.

  “That, that right there,” I returned instantly, “tells me precisely what kind of woman you are and what I gotta protect my boy from.”

  That seemed to confuse her.

  “We’re his salvation,” she decreed.

  Oh my God.

  Was she crazy?

  “You bring harm to his mother in any way,” Merry entered our conversation, “he’ll think you’re sent straight from hell.”

  Trent got close to his wife again, grabbing her arm.

  “Peg, let’s go.”

  She stared at Merry. Then she shifted her eyes and glared at me.

  “Peg, babe, kids are in the car. Let’s go,” Trent urged.

  “Get an attorney,” she warned me quietly.

  “Whatever,” I replied.

  She kept glaring.

  Trent tugged cautiously on her arm.

  She turned her glare to him, tore her arm from his hold, and stomped her ass to their minivan.

  Trent gave me an unhappy look. He gave one to Merry. After that, he followed her.

  We stood where we were as they got in, but we didn’t stand the way we were standing when they were with us.

  Merry threw his arms around my shoulders.

  That felt great.

  I slid my hand around his waist.

  He tucked me tight into his side.

  I fit myself tighter.

  And that felt even better.

  We watched Trent fire up their minivan and we kept watching as they pulled away, our heads turning to keep them in sight as they drove down the street.

  “Bad news, brown eyes. That church lady is fuckin’ crazy,” Merry muttered when the brake lights on the minivan lit at the stop sign at the end of the street.

  “The Lord giveth great dinners with handsome cops, followed by fabulous orgasms and a mom gettin’ to tell her boy he gets to eat pizza with a good man he looks up to,” I replied, and as I did, Merry looked down at me and I looked up at him. “Then the Lord taketh away by sending a batshit-crazy church lady to stand in my yard, throw down with me, and, while she’s doin’ it, say words like ‘salvation.’”

  Merry started smiling.

  “Not sure the Lord gave you those orgasms, sweetheart,” he returned. “And He sure didn’t pay for dinner.”

  “I hear you,” I agreed. “That doesn’t mean He wasn’t shining His light on me the last twenty-four hours, save, of course, the last ten minutes.”

  Merry didn’t quit smiling, it was just that his smile turned cocky.

  “Guys!” Ethan shouted from the house, and we both looked over our shoulders to see him in the storm door. “What’s goin’ on? Why’re standin’ out there, starin’ at each other, and not comin’ in to tell me why Dad and Peggy are actin’ all crazy?”

  I stared at my son, who looked angry and worried.

  This meant I sighed, which was a choice I made because the other one was losing my mind that Peg and Trent made my kid angry and worried.

  The goo
d part was Merry being there, being close, having a hold on me, and shifting me around so we could walk connected to my house.

  The bad part was my kid was in my house and I had to explain to him his dad and Peggy weren’t acting crazy, because, at least for Peg, she just was.

  We made it into the house and Merry had barely closed the front door behind us when Ethan launched in.

  “You don’t have to tell me what went down.” He lifted his chin. “You told me to go to my room. You didn’t tell me not to open my window so I couldn’t watch and listen.”

  He was right. I didn’t.

  I made a mental note should something like this happen again to do just that as I replied, “Then I’m not sure what there is to add, little man.”

  “You started whispering,” he accused. “I didn’t hear that part.”

  “And that’s ’cause you shouldn’t, buddy,” Merry said carefully.

  Ethan glared at Merry for a moment but only for a moment.

  Then he declared, “Right,” stomped to the phone, and jerked it out of its base.

  I wasn’t sure that was good.

  “Ethan,” I said warningly.

  He turned his angry face to me, then he looked down and punched buttons.

  “Ethan,” I said again, moving his way.

  He put the phone to his ear.

  “Baby,” I whispered, getting close. “Maybe you need to think about this. Don’t act in anger. That can lead to bad things, things you might regret, and I don’t want that for you, kid.”

  He looked up at me, his eyes sliding to the side as I felt Merry stop there behind me. Then Ethan opened his mouth.

  “Yeah, Peg? It’s Ethan,” he stated. He waited. Then he said, “Dad’s drivin’? Okay, I’ll tell you. I wanna see you again never. You got that? I never wanna see you again. Not you. Not Dad. But especially not you. I heard what you said to my mom and that isn’t right. Dad knows it isn’t. He knows. Don’t know why you don’t. He left us all alone, he can’t come back and be all stupid. And you can’t do nothin’ because you’re nothin’ to me.”

  He drew in a deep breath and I drew in one with him.

  Then he kept giving it to her.

  “I gotta tell you, this sucks ’cause I’m gonna miss Mary and Tobias. But it doesn’t suck because I’m not gonna miss you. You bother my mom again, I’ll tell you to your face. You push it, I’ll say it to a judge. I’m never goin’ with you. Not ever. You find a way to make me, I’ll run away. I gotta look after my mom and you made me hafta do that by making it this way. So, later. You got it in you to be halfway decent, give Mary and Tobias a hug from me. Maybe when all of us are grown up, we can get together and talk about how crazy you are. But that’ll have to wait until we’re all grown up.”