Forbidden

by Tori Carrington

  Leah tunneled her fingers through his soft, dark hair, crowding him closer to her chest. He released her nipple, leaving the wet tip bare to the cool night air. One by one, he undid the buttons of her blouse then pulled the delicate fabric out of her waistband. He trailed a hot, wet line down her quivering stomach, then popped open the button to her slacks, immediately covering her exposed flesh with his mouth. Just when she feared he might go farther, he forged a path up to her other breast, laving the nipple through her bra cup, then coaxing it out to join the other where he sucked and licked, nearly driving her insane with the myriad sensations he ignited within her.

  J.T. had always known just how to touch her…lick her…stroke her. Was an expert at blowing on the flames of her desire until they grew to a four-alarm blaze. Until it was no longer comfortable for Leah to be in her own skin. Until she felt the world tilt beneath her, everything foreign, remarkable, different.

  Leah turned her closed eyes up toward the sky and moaned, the chaos swirling around inside her searing her veins. Yes, she wanted to say. Yes, this is really what I want. I want you, J.T.

  His mouth hesitated on her neck.

  “For how long?” he whispered roughly.

  Leah blinked her eyes open and tilted her face to look into his. Had she said the words she’d been thinking? Had she told him that this was what she really wanted? She feared she must have.

  His hands moved to her hips where he gripped them almost roughly.

  Leah licked her parched, well-kissed lips. “I’ve got to go.”

  6

  DAMN IT, NO MATTER WHAT HE SAID, no matter what he did, J.T. couldn’t seem to get through to Leah. And he was filled with panic that he would never make her understand.

  “I’ve got to go,” she whispered again, trying to pluck his hands from her hips.

  Only a moment ago she’d generously offered her body to him to do with as he wished, and now she shut some sort of invisible door, closing him out again.

  He held her still. “Wait. Listen,” he said roughly.

  Her dark eyes were huge in her beautiful, flushed face as she shook her head. “I can’t.”

  Her words came out as a plaintive cry. J.T. realized that as desperate as he was to get through to her, she was just as desperate to stop him.

  He gazed at her, baffled and frustrated and hotter than hell for her.

  He abruptly released his grip on her hips and stepped back, giving her the space she needed to leave. But she didn’t. She closed her legs and straightened her blouse with trembling fingers, all the time avoiding his gaze. He waited for her to tell him she couldn’t see him again. But those words weren’t forthcoming, either.

  He slid a card from his front shirt pocket. A card on which he’d written the address of the house he was staying at and his cell phone number. He took her hand. She blinked up to stare into his face as he pressed the card into it.

  “I’ll be there should you change your mind. Come by or call me anytime. Day or night.”

  He closed her fingers over the card, then gave them a tight squeeze, not wanting to let her go but knowing he had to.

  “For how long?”

  J.T. squinted at her. Hadn’t he just asked the same question of her? Wasn’t that the very question that had brought about her change of heart, made her want to leave?

  He gave her a brief, sad grin then turned and left her sitting there, not offering up an answer.

  Truth was he didn’t know how long he was prepared to stay. The job he’d taken on could be done as early as next week. He’d stay on until then. After that, if Leah hadn’t contacted him by then…

  He didn’t want to think about that. Couldn’t consider it now.

  He rounded the corner of the bar and discovered a police cruiser driving through the lot. His immediate response was to meld into the shadows of the bar where he couldn’t be seen.

  No, not yet.

  The cruiser slowed near his bike, no doubt taking note of the out-of-state tags. In the far corner of the parking lot near the highway a woman’s shout sounded. The officer who was squinting at the Harley turned toward the woman and then the car moved on toward what looked like a domestic argument.

  J.T. stayed where he was for the moment, crossing his arms over his chest. He turned his head to see if Leah’s car was in view yet and found her standing a few feet behind him, looking at him curiously.

  What had she seen? Had she been there when he spotted the police car and ducked into the shadows?

  He nodded once in her direction then headed toward his bike, confident that the officer was otherwise occupied with the woman screaming at her date.

  THE DRIVE HOME WENT BY TOO quickly. Leah tapped the garage door opener but was forced to leave her car in the driveway when she spotted Sami’s bike still upside down on top of newspapers in the garage. She sighed then tapped the opener again to close the door. The door didn’t respond. She gathered her school books and her purse and climbed out, deciding to go in through the garage and close the door that way.

  It was past eleven and her skin felt cold. Her lips still throbbed with the memory of J.T.’s mouth on hers. Every cell in her body felt brilliantly, liquidly alive no matter how hard she tried to combat the traitorous sensations. It wasn’t fair that a man she knew with her head she should have nothing to do with could affect her body so powerfully with his touch.

  But no matter how clouded her mind had been with desire, she hadn’t missed the way he had avoided being spotted by the police cruiser when she’d gone after him. Certainly those weren’t the actions of a man who had nothing to worry about. A year and a half ago she’d wondered at his strange request to be called by his initials rather than his name. And found his vagabond existence more than a little curious. When they were young he talked about being a mechanical engineer. On the occasions that she’d thought about him over the years since then, before he’d come back into her life a year and a half ago, she’d thought he’d be married somewhere, with five kids, be the coach of the baseball team, and probably the football team, too, and be that engineer.

  Instead all this time he’d apparently been a dark loner with little more than a motorcycle and a leather bag with a few meager possessions to his name.

  Leah pushed the button near the door to the kitchen to shut the garage door and waited while it closed. Could the reason for his behavior be that he was in trouble somehow? Was he wanted for something more than a few outstanding parking tickets?

  She’d never considered the possibility before. Had never had cause to. As a judge’s daughter she’d been well protected from the criminal element. She’d never known anyone who’d bent the law to the point of breaking it.

  Was J.T. in some sort of trouble?

  The possibility made her shudder in fear and concern. Not for herself but for him.

  She let herself inside the house then locked the door behind her. The light over the stove was on in the kitchen, illuminating her way. She put her class things on top of the small desk built into the counter, hung her keys on a hook then hung her purse next to it.

  “Where have you been?” her eleven-year-old daughter’s accusatory voice broke the quiet of the night.

  Leah slowed her steps, startled by the question. Her daughter was sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of something in front of her, her arms crossed as if she were the adult, Leah the child. A reversal of roles she didn’t much care for.

  Leah fingered J.T.’s card in the pocket of her slacks and then moved to the refrigerator to pour herself a glass of cold water. “I told you where I went.”

  “You said you were at Aunt Rachel’s. Only Aunt Rachel called and said that you didn’t have plans tonight and that she hadn’t seen you.”

  Leah briefly closed her eyes. She hadn’t considered that Rachel would call that late. “What are you still doing up? You should have been in bed hours ago.”

  “I got scared.”

  Sami hadn’t been afraid of anything that went bump i
n the night since she was two. “Why didn’t you call my cell?”

  “I did. Only you had it shut off.”

  Leah swallowed hard. She must have forgotten to switch it back on earlier after canceling her appointment with the counselor.

  The telephone rang. Fearful that J.T. might be trying to call her, Leah moved to get it but Sami beat her to it. “It’s Dad,” Sami said.

  Leah stared at her daughter as she spoke to Dan, the last person Leah wanted to think about in that one moment. Her head throbbed with the overload of input, of people demanding her time and attention when all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and bury her head under her pillow until the world started making some sort of sense again.

  “Yes, she’s home,” she half listened to Sami say. “Yes, she’s okay. Okay, just a minute.”

  She held the phone out in Leah’s direction.

  Leah crossed her arms over her chest, not about to be bullied into doing something she wasn’t up to. “Why’s your father calling this late at night asking about me?”

  Sami flipped her dark blonde hair over her shoulder. “I called him earlier when I couldn’t find you, of course.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I was scared.”

  Leah was growing more impatient with her daughter by the moment. “Tell him I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

  She wasn’t sure who she was more upset with. Her daughter for making her feel guiltier than she already did, or herself for walking straight into that guilt by meeting J.T.

  “You tell him.” Sami shoved the phone out farther.

  When Leah didn’t take it, Sami defiantly put the receiver on the counter. “Now that you’re home, I’m going to bed. I only hope I can get some sleep.”

  For long moments Leah stood staring at the telephone, listening as her daughter slammed her door upstairs. What would her ex-husband say if he knew she’d gone to some bar on the outskirts of town to meet a man? Not just any man, but the man with whom she’d had an affair nearly a year and a half ago? The same man that had been the catalyst to the end of their marriage?

  No, Dan didn’t know J.T.’s name. The way everything had happened, there hadn’t been any need to tell him. But even though Dan didn’t know, she did. And that’s all that mattered in the end. Because as rebellious as she’d ever been in her life, she’d never been a very good liar.

  She shakily picked up the receiver.

  “Dan, it’s late. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  There was a heartbeat of silence and then he asked, “Are you all right?”

  Leah leaned against the wall and rubbed her forehead, trying to untie the knot of tension there. She’d expected her ex-husband to be angry at her for having left Sami alone, accusatory that she’d been out on a Friday night and obviously hadn’t been where she’d said she was going. Anything but concerned. His reaction only made her feel worse. “I’m fine. Just tired, that’s all.”

  “All right. Go get some sleep then. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  Leah should have felt relieved but his accommodating tone only made her tense further. “Okay. Thanks. Good night.”

  She hung up the receiver and stared in the direction her daughter had gone, considering going up after her. Had she really left her cell phone off? She fished the receiver out of her purse. Sure enough, it was still off. She switched it back on then began to put it back into her purse. Changing her mind, she pressed the preprogrammed number for her sister. Rachel picked up in two rings.

  “Hey, Rach. I just wanted to call and let you know that I just got home and that everything’s all right.”

  “Why wouldn’t it be?”

  Leah frowned. “You didn’t call here earlier?”

  “No. Sami called me. Said something about needing to talk to you about her homework or something but I told her you weren’t here.”

  Sami had called Rachel checking up on her, not the other way around.

  Leah stared at the ceiling.

  “Is everything okay, Lee?”

  “Hmm? Yes. Everything’s fine.”

  She only wished it were.

  THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON J.T. carved the side of a two-by-twelve of rich cherry with a miter saw/drill, following the newly created curve with his fingers, the grain under his skin smooth and soft. There was something about the physicality of carpentry that drew him in, engaged him. The craft filled four out of his five senses. The sound of the saw, the smell of the wood, the beauty of the grain, the smoothness of the once living object that craved special attention so it might exist for a long, long time to come.

  It was nearing 6:00 p.m. and the daylight outside where he was now working hard would soon wane. He’d been at it nonstop since six that morning. He’d taken a brief break to eat the lunch he’d stored in the small refrigerator in the kitchen, but otherwise he’d needed the busyness to keep his mind occupied, needed the labor to drain his body of restless energy.

  He finished the length of the wood then powered down the saw and took off his goggles, checking his work with the naked eye. The owner of the house behind him wanted built-in shelving on three walls in the study off the living room. At the rate he was going, he’d be done with the room by tomorrow noon, staining and finishing aside. The day was warm, not hot, but he’d worked up a sweat in the direct light of the sun. Sure, he could have set up his workspace in the shade of the nearby oak or even inside the empty house itself, but he’d wanted to be out in the sun. Feel the heat of it penetrate his skin and warm his bones.

  He pulled the handkerchief from his back pocket and dragged it across his forehead, Leah never far from his thoughts. The image of her face was etched into his mind. The taste of her mouth embedded on his tongue. The imprint of her supple breast stamped into his palm. No matter what he was doing, how exhausted he was, or how busy, that was the case. But being so close and not being able to see her made the awareness doubly acute.

  He released the clamps holding the wood plank down then stacked it next to the others against the side of the house. He considered what the long day had yielded, then looked beyond to the house itself. A hundred-year-old Victorian that boasted five bedrooms and twelve rooms all told, it was a place he might have imagined himself owning once. It was set back on a full five acres of treed land and was surrounded by farmland beyond that, giving it an open, isolated feel. Homey and private, making it a nice place to raise a large family…and making it the perfect place for him to work. No nosey neighbors who despised him on sight when they saw him on his bike. No traffic that brought by the police every now and again, putting him at risk. Nothing but him and the house and his work.

  And thoughts of Leah…

  J.T. pulled off his T-shirt and headed inside to wash up before checking the cupboards and the refrigerator for something to make for dinner. He tried not to think about the time. Tried not to think that all it would take was his chopper and ten minutes and he could feast his eyes on Leah without her even knowing he was there.

  But that no longer did it for him. When he saw her again, he not only wanted her to know he was there, he wanted her to be the one to seek him out.

  He tossed his T-shirt across the side of the downstairs bathtub to dry then turned the faucet on full blast and stuck his head under the strong spray. But the punishing cold water was powerless to stop thoughts of Leah from haunting him. He remembered the expression she wore last night when she’d seen him hiding from the police cruiser. Recalled how she’d told him she couldn’t see him anymore and that she wanted him to leave her alone.

  When he’d come back to Toledo, he’d told himself he was prepared for her to say that.

  Then he’d seen her.

  And he’d kissed her.

  And that foolhardy belief had deserted him along with any shred of pride.

  He wanted Leah. In every way. He wanted to slide between her smooth thighs and feel her slick, hot muscles surrounding him. He wanted to hear his name on her lips. Not his initials, his name. He wanted the sc
rape of her perfectly manicured nails to leave marks on his back. He wanted to take her to bed at dusk and make love to her until dawn.

  He wanted her to be his wife.

  He waited for his response to the thought. Prepared himself for shock, disbelief and opposition.

  What swept through him instead was a sense of rightness that saturated him all the way to his bone marrow. A knowing that calmed his overworked body, warmed his heart and aroused his need for a woman he would never stop desiring.

  He wanted to live with her in a house like this. He wanted to have children with her. He wanted to linger over the Sunday morning funnies with her, go on picnics and long rides. He wanted everything he could have with her.

  He knew a moment of pause. This, this epiphany right here, was exactly what he’d been looking for when he’d come back to Toledo. He’d wanted an answer to the emotions constantly rolling inside of him for Leah Dubois Burger. He had expected he might find his emotions had dissipated or even disappeared. Even though he hadn’t considered this alternative, he felt remarkably open to it.

  Because it was right.

  He dried his hands on a towel and wiped his face as he headed out to the kitchen and took a beer out of the fridge. He’d downed half of it before coming up for air and squinting at the seemingly endless stretch of land on the northern side of the house.

  He’d never considered taking anyone as his wife. Not difficult to understand considering his past and how he was forced to live now. While he might be free, there was a big difference between the freedom others enjoyed and being on the lam. Mostly because his freedom could be snatched away at any moment and every move he made in populated places put him at risk.

  But he’d risk it all for Leah.

  But would she have him?

  He finished off the beer and dragged the back of his wrist across his mouth. No wasn’t an option. Now that he knew what he wanted, he fully intended to have it.