Forbidden

by Tori Carrington

  She hadn’t known what she’d expected when she entered, but it certainly wasn’t what she was seeing. Dan had taken so little when he’d left their house she’d thought he’d probably gone bachelor mode with his new place. Instead she was confronted with ultrafeminine Art Deco décor complete with black and pink female masks bearing white feathers on the wall, and a glossy black coffee table in front of white leather furniture.

  She blinked several times as a woman came out of what presumably was the kitchen, carrying a tray of what looked like crackers and soup.

  The woman appeared as shocked as Leah felt.

  Then again, Leah thought she came out the winner in any shock contest simply because the woman was at least eight months pregnant.

  “Oh…” she whispered.

  Dan was still holding the door open. He quickly closed it then came to stand in front of Leah, tucking his shirt into his pants as he went. Funny, she hadn’t noticed how thick he was getting around the middle. And was his light brown hair thinning, or was it just her?

  “I’m glad you stopped by, Leah, because I’ve been meaning to talk to you, too.”

  Leah looked around him to the woman who still stood holding the tray. She began to reach out to shake the woman’s hand, then settled on a wave instead. “Hi, I’m Leah.”

  She didn’t say Burger lest it sound like she was laying claim to Dan. And that’s not what she’d come here to do no matter her stunned reaction at seeing the other woman.

  “I know. It’s finally nice to meet you. I’m Glenda.”

  Leah smiled, shock still winning out over the other emotions trying to push past it. “I’d like to say it’s finally nice to meet you, Glenda, but, well, I’m afraid I didn’t know you existed.”

  Dan turned and said something to Glenda then ushered her back into the kitchen. Glenda caught Leah’s gaze before she completely disappeared. “It was nice meeting you, Leah.”

  Dan closed the kitchen door after the other woman then turned to face her.

  “Well,” Leah said, wondering if her eyes were as wide as they felt. She gestured toward the kitchen, then motioned with her hands around her belly. “Yours?”

  Dan didn’t appear to understand.

  “The baby she’s carrying,” Leah clarified. “Is it yours?”

  “Oh.” Dan’s face reddened and as he ran his hand through his hair she realized it was thinning.

  Shouldn’t she have noticed these things about him? How had she not noticed?

  “Yes. Yes, it is.”

  Leah looked around her, but wasn’t really registering anything. “How long have you two been…seeing each other?”

  There wasn’t one piece of furniture in the place that indicated a life before Glenda. Not a recliner, not an expensive stereo center, nothing.

  “Two years.”

  Leah stared at her ex-husband again. Two years…That would make it nearly eight months before her initial affair with J.T. Eight months before she’d even thought about asking Dan for a divorce.

  She looked down to find she had her hands stuffed deep into the pockets of her overcoat. “Thanks for telling me the truth.” She stretched her neck. “Although life would probably have been a whole hell of a lot easier had you told me a little sooner.”

  She began walking toward the door.

  “Wait,” Dan said on a sigh.

  Leah paused but didn’t turn back around.

  “What was it you came here to talk to me about?”

  She laughed softly, humorlessly. “I came here to tell you I was calling off the reconciliation.” She slowly turned back around. “You weren’t really going to move back into the house, were you?”

  He ran a hand over his face. “Actually, yes, I was.”

  “You and—” she motioned toward the kitchen “—Glenda were on the outs?”

  “No. I was going to let her have the condo.”

  Leah nodded as if she understood, but she slowly changed to shaking her head because what she was hearing didn’t make any sense at all. “Why?”

  “Because I love you.”

  Leah winced. She’d always taken his words at face value before, never having had cause not to doubt them. But now…well, now she wondered how many of his words she should have questioned.

  He sighed heavily. “Okay, I want us to get back together because I lost a lot of money in the stock market over the past year and I can’t afford both the alimony and child support payments in addition to the kid that’s on the way.”

  “So you were going to reconcile with me so you could make your monthly budget….” Leah prompted.

  “That and I’ve been asked to run for the seat your father will vacate when he wins his bid for Ohio Supreme Court.”

  Leah stepped toward the white leather couch. “Do you mind if I sit down for a minute? I think I’m feeling a little sick.”

  He rushed to her side and helped her sit, then took the chair across from her.

  Leah sat for long moments trying to absorb everything. Then the reason for her daughter’s sullen mood occurred to her. “I take it Sami met Glenda Monday night?”

  “No. She met Glenda a year ago. But because of the pregnancy, over the past several months I’ve made sure the two of them haven’t crossed paths.” He frowned. “But Monday night we finally told her. She wasn’t too pleased to find out she was going to be having a little sister or brother in a couple of weeks.”

  Nine months pregnant. Glenda was nine months pregnant.

  Leah nodded. Of course, Sami hadn’t been happy. A mammoth monkey wrench the size of her father’s pregnant girlfriend had been thrown into her plans to get her parents back together.

  She let out a short burst of air that sounded somewhere between a laugh and a snort.

  “What’s so funny?” Dan asked.

  Leah shook her head. “What’s the matter with all of us? Not just you and me, and J.T. and Glenda, but the world at large? Why are we always rationalizing ourselves into doing things we would otherwise never do?” She pulled her hands out of her pockets and rested her face against them. “Is that what life is about? Settling? I should settle for you because there’s currently nothing else going on in my life and, well gee, Sami would like to have her father living back in the house, and gee, Dan and I have always been such good friends that it shouldn’t be that bad….”

  She stared at her ex-husband as if he could provide her with an answer, but he looked as dumbstruck as she felt.

  She squinted at him. “What about you, Dan? What about Glenda? Don’t you think that baby she’s carrying is more important than a bid for a judgeship? Don’t you think he or she and Glenda deserve better? I mean, hell, you’re obviously living with her and have been for a while. Doesn’t she deserve to give her baby a name? Your name?”

  She got up from the couch.

  “And how much of what you’re saying now has to do with J. T. West, Leah?” he asked, rising as well. “Or should I say Joshua Thomas Westwood?”

  Leah’s throat tightened.

  “How much of your coming over here tonight to tell me you were calling off the reconciliation has to do with him?”

  “Everything and nothing,” she whispered, her heart giving a sharp lurch.

  “Doesn’t it concern you in the least that you’re putting our daughter at risk every time you see him? Doesn’t it bother you that the man killed a woman ten years ago? That he’s a fugitive on the run from the law?”

  She wasn’t surprised he’d uncovered the truth behind J.T.’s identity. Enlisting his help to spring J.T. from jail had guaranteed that he would.

  It also meant that local law enforcement knew the truth and had likely contacted the Phoenix authorities.

  “No, it doesn’t concern me, Dan. And, for what it’s worth, it’s none of your damn business anyway.”

  “Come on, Lee, what do you know about this guy? How do you know he’s not the one who broke into your place, sabotaged your car and cut your water pipe?”

&nbs
p; Leah stared at him as if he’d grown another head. And in a way he had. Because he’d just revealed himself as the one who had done all three things.

  “Why?” she asked. “Why did you do it?”

  Dan winced and he rubbed his face in agitation. “What are you talking about?”

  “No one knew about all three of those things combined but me and J.T. and the person responsible.” She hadn’t even known her car had been sabotaged. That bit of news made her head spin.

  His shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, Leah. I really am. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He shrugged, looking so small in that one moment she actually pitied him. “I guess I thought if you needed me, if there were some reason for you to turn to me…”

  Leah sat for a long moment staring at nothing. Then she stepped toward the outer door and opened it. “Glenda?” she said, pretty sure the other woman was listening intently on the other side of the kitchen door. “It was nice meeting you. Good luck with the baby.”

  Something clattered as if dropped then she heard a quiet, “Thank you.”

  Leah considered her ex-husband long and hard. She realized that he hadn’t done anything unforgivable. Although it might take her some time to be able to extend that forgiveness, she didn’t wish him any ill will. “Marry her, Dan, and run for judge. The rest will work itself out. You’ll see.”

  Then she left the condo feeling like the world would somehow never look quite the same again.

  WHEN LEAH GOT HOME, the house was quiet. The television and all the lights, aside from the kitchen fan light, had been turned off. She put her purse down on the kitchen counter and shrugged out of her coat. It was only nine o’clock. She usually began asking Sami to get ready for bed at nine and at somewhere around ten the girl might make it as far as her bedroom where she’d talk on the phone for a while or do homework.

  Of course, lately her relationship with her daughter had been anything but usual.

  She slipped off her shoes then picked them up, dropping them off in her bedroom before continuing on to Sami’s closed door. She listened for a moment then knocked. There was no answer. She knocked again.

  “Sami, I’m coming in.”

  She opened the door to find Sami lying on her stomach on her bed with a pair of headphones fastened securely over her ears. Leah could hear the music from where she stood so it was a pretty good bet her daughter hadn’t heard her knock or even come in.

  She stepped toward the bed and sat down on the side. Sami finally rolled over to stare at her.

  “Can I talk to you for a few minutes?” Leah said.

  Sami frowned at her.

  Leah reached over and lifted the right side of the headphones, the tinny sound of techno music blaring louder. “I said, can I talk to you for a few minutes?”

  Sami reluctantly took the headphones off and sat up, pushing herself to the far end of the bed against the headboard.

  “What do you want?” her daughter asked with that half pout Leah had gotten far too used to seeing in recent weeks.

  Leah cleared her throat, tamping down any ire that began to rise. “I think you and I are overdue for a discussion about your actions the other day.”

  Sami shifted uncomfortably.

  “I’ve been waiting for an apology, but so far I haven’t seen a glimpse of one coming.”

  Her daughter toyed with the body of her handheld radio.

  Leah took it from her, switched it off, then handed it back.

  “I’m sorry,” Sami said sullenly.

  Leah crossed her arms. “Well, that sounded genuine.”

  Sami sighed and flopped her hands on either side of her. “What do you want me to say? That it was a stupid thing to do and that I didn’t mean for Mr. West to get arrested and that…and that…”

  Leah waited. “And that…”

  Sami launched herself into her arms. “And that whatever you do, please, please don’t send me to live with Dad.”

  Leah supposed that tonight must be her night for shocks.

  If someone had told her that her impossible eleven-year-old daughter would be sobbing in her arms within two minutes of her entering the room, she would have told them they were crazy.

  Yet here Sami was, her tears soaking through the sleeve of Leah’s blouse, her arms wrapped around Leah’s arms, pinning them in place.

  Leah carefully extracted her right arm and began stroking her daughter’s hair. So soft. So clean. How long had it been since she’d been allowed to touch Sami like this? A year? Longer?

  “I understand that you, your dad and Glenda had a talk Monday night.”

  Sami didn’t move for a long moment, then she nodded and pulled away to look up into her face. “They’re having a baby!”

  Leah smiled softly. “Yes, I know. It was, um, kind of hard to miss.”

  Sami looked down. “Daddy made me promise not to tell you.”

  “Mmm. I bet he did.”

  “Are you mad?”

  Leah thought long and hard. Was she mad? “No. Surprisingly, I’m not. Shocked, definitely. But not mad.” She tucked Sami’s hair behind her ear several times before the fine strands stuck there. “Things have been over between your dad and me for a long time, Sami.”

  Sami crossed her legs and stared at her hands in her lap. “Yes, well, I wish somebody had told me.”

  Leah gave a soft laugh that earned her a sharp look. “I’m laughing because you’re right. I think we would have been a lot better off if we’d all sat down for a good talk a long time ago.”

  God, she couldn’t remember being eleven years old. At Sami’s age everything emerged a major Greek drama being played out on the world’s stage.

  “Do you mind if I ask you a question, Sami?”

  Her daughter squinted her blue eyes at her.

  “And I want you to be truthful.”

  Sami sniffled then ran the heel of her hand against her damp nose and nodded.

  “Why don’t you like J.T.?”

  Apparently her daughter must have thought the question would be in regards to her father. She uncrossed her legs and stretched them out, taking an overinterest in aligning her knees. “I don’t even know J.T…. Mr. West enough to dislike him.”

  Leah shifted on the bed to sit next to her, stretching out so that her head rested against the pillows and her bare feet next to her daughter’s. “Well, then, excuse me, but getting someone arrested because you don’t dislike them is a little confusing to me.” She patted the pillow next to hers. “Come on, you can tell me.”

  Sami scooted up then laid her head back against the other pillow, her feet reaching Leah’s calves. “I don’t know why I did it, Mom. I was just so surprised, you know, when I came out and saw him there. Then he told me that something had happened to grandpa, and he had this…stuff all over his hands and I…freaked.”

  Leah nodded. “Go on.”

  Sami looked at her. “That’s it.”

  “That’s the reason you accused him of trying to kidnap you.”

  Sami had the good grace to look guilty. She turned back to stare at her toes. “I don’t know.” She shrugged, the movement moving the bed. “I think maybe it was because I got the idea you guys knew each other really, really well, and…it made me feel like the way I feel when Dad’s with Glenda.”

  Leah drew her brows together. That was an interesting way of putting it.

  “So you maybe didn’t like that I knew J.T. outside of our mother and daughter relationship?”

  Another shrug. “I guess so. I mean, it was like it was this big secret, you know. The only difference was that you didn’t ask me not to tell Dad about it.”

  It had felt like a big secret precisely because it had been a big secret.

  In all her covert rendezvous with J.T., she’d never once stopped to think that maybe her daughter felt she was being left out.

  Of course, there was another factor involved. Leah hadn’t exactly been ready to welcome him into her house until just recently.

 
She rested the top of her head against her daughter’s, much the same way she and Rachel did when they indulged in their heart-to-heart talks. “You know that no matter what happens, I love you, don’t you, sweetpea?”

  Sami rolled her eyes at her use of the old nickname, her ears pinkening. “Please don’t call me that, Mom.”

  “Well? You didn’t answer me.”

  Sami tilted her head down so that her chin nearly plowed into her chest. “Yes, I know.”

  “And you know that no matter where I am, you’re always welcome, right?”

  Sami turned to stare at her. “Are we moving?”

  Leah elbowed her. “Answer the question.”

  Sami considered the words for a long moment, then she nodded.

  “I want you to promise me something, Sami,” she said quietly after a long moment of toenail contemplation passed. “I want you to promise me that no matter how you feel, that you’ll always come to me when something’s bothering you. I don’t want you to keep everything all bottled up anymore. It’s not healthy.” She nudged her nose into her daughter’s hair until she found her ear. “Besides, I’m beginning to worry that all that frowning is going to make you look like an old lady at the ripe old age of eleven.”

  Sami giggled then nestled down farther into the pillows.

  They both lay like that for a while, neither of them saying anything. It had been a long time since Leah had spent an extended amount of time in her daughter’s room and she reasoned that it was time to start spending more time there. She looked over the pink little girl décor and wondered if it wasn’t also time to update Sami’s room to reflect the woman she was going to so very soon become.

  Sami’s soft voice stirred the hair over her ear. “I love you, Mom.”

  Leah turned toward her and cuddled her close. “Oh, baby, I love you, too.” And if she’d missed her daughter, as well, she wasn’t going to say anything. She was just so damned relieved to have her back.

  18

  THREE WEEKS AND LEAH STILL HADN’T heard from J.T.

  She caught herself scratching her arm where she sat taking her Humanities final exam, the test that would determine whether or not she would earn her BBA, bachelor of business administration degree.