Crazy Bastard

by Angelique Voisen

  A small weight stirred at the foot of the bed, and Coco padded to him with his usual three-legged limp. The small dog stumbled midway, and Vance reached for the mutt who had somehow dug a spot into his icy heart. He clutched the dog close; a poor alternative for Ty, but Coco would do.

  Big brown eyes looked back at him, and Coco licked at his face. He groaned, held the dog away from him. “I’m good now.”

  Coco wagged his tail, clearly not believing him. He set the puppy on the space next to him, but Coco didn’t curl up and go back to sleep. Instead, he jumped off the bed. Rising, Vance stretched, only to see Coco positioning himself beside the red leash looped around the footboard of the bed.

  “We can’t go on a walk in the middle of the night,” he told the dog.

  Coco barked and, Vance swore, looked at the blinds. He padded to the window, pried the blinds apart, and squinted, only to feel the afternoon sun on his face. He’d slept through the morning? He looked for his phone, then realized it was Saturday. No need to go back to the office.

  Weekends usually pained him. At least in the office, he had company. True, he surrounded himself with steel and glass, but at least people constantly came in and out of his office. How sad was it that his workplace had been the limited scope of his social interaction?

  A few old friends had nudged at him to start dating again, but he’d refused. Eventually, those same friends stopped reaching out to him, had given up on him. If he intended to live out the rest of his life as a hermit, then so be it. Vance didn’t feel the loss. The only person who managed to pierce through his thick veil of cold indifference had been Ty, and he’d lost Ty, too.

  He blinked when Coco yipped at his feet, leash between his jaws. “How did you get that, boy?”

  Coco set the leash down and looked at him expectantly. Sometimes, Coco’s determination to get what he wanted, be it treats or little walks, floored Vance, even put him to shame. Even with three legs, Coco never gave up. So much couldn’t be said for him.

  Vance walked to the closet and pulled on comfy pair of jogging pants and a sweatshirt. He made a quick trip to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, then debated whether to shave off his beard. He opened the drawer under the sink and froze, seeing the box of condoms and tube of lube Ty bought.

  Any guy would have left after that, but Ty stuck with him through the entire night.

  Ty was a keeper, no doubt about it, but did Vance have the right to claim Ty after his massive fuck-up?

  Vance grabbed the razor, did a quick shave, and retuned to see Coco had lain on the carpet. “You still up for a walk, boy?”

  At the sound of his voice, Coco righted himself and pushed at the leash again. Vance clipped it to Coco’s collar. He grabbed a water bottle, some snacks for Coco, and exited the apartment.

  He encountered a young motherwho lived downstairs and her twelve-year-old daughter, Mandy, in the elevator.

  Mandy grinned at him. “Hi, Mr. Carr. Hi, Coco! May I pet him?”

  “Sure.” He nodded to Mandy’s mother, and it struck him that before Ty had rudely dumped Coco in front of his door, he’d been sort of the building’s mysterious recluse. Before this, he’d never interacted with any of the people in the building.

  Reaching the first floor, Mandy waved at him and Coco before following her mom.

  Vance looked at Coco. “You’re a hit, you know that?”

  Coco only barked at him. They headed to the local park, a fifteen-minute walk from where he lived. Before, Coco took twice as long getting there, but his little dog cut the walking time by half in only a span of two weeks. It had been a test of patience for both of them, and one of determination for Coco. Pride filled him as they reached the park entrance.

  Vance sat on the nearest bench, knowing Coco needed a short break before they started playing catch again. He’d replaced the Christmas decoration with a real rubber ball designed for dogs. He took out a plastic baggie and Coco instantly raised his head.

  “You deserve this,” he told his dog. “We reached a record today. Fifteen minutes. Can you believe that?”

  Coco lolled his tongue, and he fed the puppy a treat.

  “Do you always talk to your dog?” asked an amused voice.

  Vance stilled and let out a sharp intake of breath, remembering that voice all too well, how it had moaned and made other sounds of pleasure in his ear two weeks ago. His heart quickened at the sight of the man he'd been longing to see again.

  “May I sit?”

  Vance could only nod, his senses suddenly hyperaware. The bench was small enough that their shoulders brushed, and he stiffened, recalling how addictive it had been, touching the other man. The kisses they shared had been nothing like he’d ever felt, too. Even the passion between him and Malik had never been that explosive.

  “I’m happy to see him,” Ty said, and it took Vance a few seconds to realize he was talking about the dog.

  The silence stretched on between him for a few awkward seconds, although it felt like hours.

  “I named him Coco,” Vance said.

  “Coco, why?”

  “Because he jumped and down when I played the movie trailer of Coco on my laptop.”

  “Damn. That’s adorable.”

  “How about me?” Vance dared ask. “Are you happy to bump into me, too?”

  “I…” Ty fidgeted with his hands and finally looked him in the eye. “I missed you.”

  “Yeah?” Fuck, but this close, he could smell the soap and cologne Ty used.

  Ty’s arm rubbed against his, but he didn’t dare make a move. It took all his self-control not to kiss those tempting lips, to run his hands down Ty’s slender body. He might even want to slip his hand down Ty’s jogging shorts and give his dick a squeeze.

  Need swelled inside him like a greedy monster. Sex wouldn’t be enough, either. He wanted to create more memories, even ordinary moments like walking Coco together and getting a coffee after. More moments.

  When it came to Ty, Vance wanted it all.

  “It’s silly, isn’t it?” Ty said. “We’ve only spent one night together and yet, I can’t get you out of my mind.”

  Ty’s admission filled him with guilty pleasure. So he hadn’t forgotten him. Vance had so many questions, but he had a feeling if he said the wrong words, Ty would leave. When would he see Ty again—during one of his stalkings?

  “I thought,” Vance paused. “You forgot all about me and moved on.”

  ****

  Ty swallowed, unsure of how he’d explain to Vance that forgetting him was the exact opposite of what he’d been doing. He hadn’t run into Vance and Coco in the park by accident. Hell, Ty didn’t even exercise much. Working at the shelter and restaurant tired him too much. Once he got home, he usually had little energy for anything else except microwave dinners and catching up on TV shows.

  Realizing Vance waited for his response, he shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”

  Okay. He didn’t know what else to say. Ty had seen Vance walking Coco a week ago, recalled how shock reverberated through him. He’d taken a gamble, giving Vance that dog. Pets needed care, and he wondered if Vance would be up for the task when he could barely take care of himself.

  Ty had wanted to approach Vance there and then, but something held him back. He’d watched Vance interact with his new friend, content to remain hidden. It felt like he’d caught a precious glimpse of the man Vance had been before his husband died, one who was full of life and smiles.

  Vance did as Ty asked. He’d clearly started fixing his issues. It was only right Ty tell Vance the truth.

  “Actually,” he said, watching Vance give Coco another doggie cookie. “Won’t Coco get fat?”

  Shit. Not the words he wanted to say. Ty was stalling, but he couldn’t afford to. What would Vance think of him, once he revealed the truth? That he timed Vance and Coco’s park visits to sneak a longing look? Many times, Ty wondered what it would be like, walking alongside Vance while they took Coco on a walk. />
  In his fantasy, he imagined them having brunch after, or a coffee at a nearby diner. Hell, he’d settle for an ice cream or a hot dog from one of the carts in the park.

  Vance scoffed. “I’ll make sure he goes on more walks.”

  He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Neither of them knew how to begin, Ty realized, to rekindle where they’d left off, two weeks ago.

  “I need to tell you the truth.” What possessed Ty to say those words? They came out in a guilty rush, and he suddenly found Vance looking at him intently, gray eyes intense and completely focused on him.

  “What is it?”

  “Well, I didn’t bump into you by accident.” Ty didn’t own a pair of jogging shorts before his stalking phase either. Or running shoes. If Vance looked closely at him now, he’d discover they were brand new, even the shirt with the sports logo on it. Ty felt like a kid playing dress up.

  Fate had made him ask Vance out that night, but fate could only do so much. The rest was up to him and so what, if he needed to show some initiative? Too bad it might backfire on him now.

  Vance furrowed his brow, and Ty unthinkingly reached out to smooth it, then drew his hand back, as if burned. Ty had no right, touching Vance. They weren’t—what exactly were they? Two men fumbling in the dark, hoping for the other to make the first move? They weren’t shy and awkward teenagers on their first date, for crying out loud. Yet, he felt that way.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled.

  “Don’t be. I like it when you touch me, when I touch you.” Vance swore. “Fuck. I’m tongue-tied. That seldom happens.”

  “I bet.” Ty let out a nervous laugh. Enough stalling. “I saw you and Coco a week ago.”

  “What?” Vance still looked confused.

  Ty steeled himself for the worst. He felt like a guilty man, confessing his sins to a priest. “I didn’t have the guts to approach you two, the first time, or the next.”

  “The next? How many times have you— God.” Vance did the most unexpected thing and started to laugh. His chest rumbled and even Coco barked excitedly between them, looking at Vance, then at him, probably wondering what sort of new game they were playing.

  It only dawned on Ty what his affliction was. He’d fallen knee-deep in love with Vance, a not-quite-stranger who he couldn’t stop thinking about. Hell, it must be love, because he wanted to invite Vance back to his place and show him Cereal and Milk, see how they’d react to Coco.

  Only crazy people in love did things like stalking the other party even after telling them they needed space.

  “So,” Ty ventured. “Is that a good or bad sign? I mean, I understand if you don’t want to see me again. I can assure you I’m not usually like this. I don’t stalk people. Normally.”

  “No. I don’t want to stop seeing you. I mean, I want to start something with you.”

  Vance still fumbled with his words. His heart warmed. So adorable.

  “Wait, you’re not freaked out?” Ty asked.

  “I’m the same.”

  “Huh?”

  “I’m guilty of stalking you too. At the restaurant.”

  Ty blinked. He thought he’d been going insane, thinking someone was out there in the parking lot, watching him. He’d even brought it up to his coworkers, but they’d only joked around, told him he was imagining things. Seemed like the logical conclusion because it wasn’t like Ty was anyone important. He was a country boy who moved into the city. There were thousands, millions of Tys in the world.

  Except he was clearly somebody worth pursuing to Vance.

  Ty ended up laughing too. It went on for a while, but it felt damn good. All the doubts, the worries, and second-guessing faded away.

  Chapter Eleven

  “I’m glad,” Ty began, wiping the tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, “that I finally approached you.”

  “Me too,” Vance admitted, then took a chance in the hopes Ty wanted to pick up where they’d left off. “Want to accompany Coco and me for the rest of our walk?”

  Ty brightened. “Yes. Hey, Coco.”

  He leaned down and rubbed Coco’s ears. Happy to find a new friend, Coco barked and licked at Ty’s fingers, making the other man laugh. Vance’s chest suddenly felt tight. He wanted to take a screenshot of this moment forever. Hell, he hungered to have more of them. Vance rose to his feet, amused that Coco had lost interest in Ty and started straining on the leash, tugging him towards the their usual route.

  “Someone’s excited,” Ty commented.

  They made a loop around the park, occasionally stopping when Coco smelled something interesting, marking a tree stump or wagging his tail at other dogs. He started asking Ty normal things, like how often he exercised or if his dick manager was still in charge of the Lakeside restaurant.

  “How you’ve been, really?” Vance finally asked. Enough pleasantries. He was ready to dig deeper. They had to have this serious talk sooner or later. Besides, he wanted Ty to know how much he’d changed.

  “My work life has been good actually. I didn’t expect an opportunity to come up. It’ll be my last day at the restaurant tonight.”

  Vance raised his brows. Alarm bells rang faintly in his head. Ty had been the one friendly face he’d relied on during his monthly visits. True, he didn’t care about what others thought of him, but without Ty there, he’d easily sink into depression.

  A weight settled on his chest. What did he expect, that Ty would work at Lakeside forever?

  He’d done it again—gotten lost in his own thoughts, but Ty must have known him a little better, because he paused to watch his reaction.

  “I mean, you don’t need to worry. There’s this new girl, Lizzie. She’s the no-nonsense type, and I told her about your usual order when you come around,” Ty said quickly.

  “I see.” Vance needed to think.

  His next monthly visit to Lakeside would soon come up, except— Vance considered getting rid of that particular routine. He didn’t need his therapist to tell him it wasn’t healthy. Each time he recreated that awful night when Malik never arrived, he only destroyed himself and never gave the wounds in his heart a chance to heal. No more.

  Walking with Ty, speaking with him, and being on the receiving end of those sweet smiles, made his pulse race and his chest swell with emotions. Being with Ty felt no different from standing under the sun when he’d spent all these months hidden away his den.

  “Are you angry?” Ty asked.

  “Continue your story. You mentioned an opportunity?” Vance asked. This was good. He didn’t want the focus of their conversation to be all about him.

  “I was promoted to assistant manager at the shelter and the salary's pretty decent too, so I don't need to worry about paying rent late.”

  “Shit, Ty. Congrats,” Vance said, knowing how much that meant to Ty. Unthinkingly, he pulled Ty into a hug. For a second, the other man stilled, and Vance thought he’d taken it too far too fast. Then Ty hugged him back, wrapping his slender around Vance’s waist and burying his face in his chest. As if sensing his owner was experiencing some kind of pivotal moment, even Coco stopped tugging on the leash to sit on the ground.

  When Ty lifted his head, his entire face was red. Fuck, but Vance couldn’t help it. Ty could probably feel the bulge in his jogging pants. Then again, Ty seemed to be aroused, too.

  “God. I forgot how good you smelled," Ty said.

  Reluctantly, Vance released Ty, although he wanted to keep touching him, to kiss those lips once more. Ty refused to break from the hug and gripped his shirt instead.

  “Vance, talk to me,” Ty pleaded. Wide brown eyes met his. “Don’t shut yourself off.”

  Vance smiled. “Don’t plan to. I’m just gathering my thoughts. Tell your new friend Lizzie she doesn’t need to expect me at all. I’m done.”

  Ty blinked, taken aback, but finally took a step back. Good, because Vance couldn’t think clearly when Ty was this close. “Wait, seriously?”

  Vance ran a frustrated hand through h
is hair. “Ever since you dropped Coco at my front door, I’ve been making changes in my life. Small ones that don’t seem to make a difference, but only at first.”

  “Damn, Vance. I’m proud of you.” Ty reached out shyly, tentatively touching his hand.

  Vance curled his fingers around Ty’s, and they resumed their walk.

  “What else?” Ty asked.

  “I’m planning to move a new apartment. The old one reminded me of my past too much. I want a new start.” Vance paused, letting that sink in for a moment. Ty sucked in a breath. Smart man. “A chance with you, if you let me.”

  “You really did it, worked on yourself,” Ty whispered.

  The awe in his voice made Vance widen his eyes. “Do I get a reward for my efforts?”

  Ty widened his eyes. “Vance Carr, are you actually flirting with me?”

  Vance lifted his shoulders in an “aw, shucks” shrug, not expecting Ty to fist his shirt, tug him close, and tiptoe up for a kiss. The impulse to take control took over. Vance closed a hand on the back of his neck and slammed his lips over Ty’s.

  In his head, he planned on giving Ty a slow, burning kiss for their first reunion. All those plans went to dust as hunger set in. He nipped and sucked on Ty’s lower lip, and liked it when Ty parted his lips to let him deepen the kiss, only to suck down on his tongue. He let out a rumbling growl of approval when they parted.

  Ty panted, brown eyes full of determination. “Would you like to have lunch? Brunch?”

  Ty was nervous just as he was, Vance realized, worried about screwing things up. “We’d love that.”

  Coco lifted his head from his paws and gave them both an, “Are you two finally done?” look.

  Vance held back his desire. Last time, they’d been reckless. While the sex between them had been explosive, he didn’t want fucking to define their relationship. Ty deserved better. He needed to be a better man for both Ty and himself.

  Tiny steps at a time, Vance mused. A walk in the park. Lunch. More dates.

  He could do this.

  ****