The Case of the Caged Cockers

by B R Snow

  “Chloe, green button. Green button, girl.”

  “Suzy, you were just finally able to get her to stop pushing it. Now you’re telling her it’s okay? You’re going to confuse her.”

  “Shhh,” I said. “Green button, Chloe. Go get the green button.”

  I slowly opened the door partway, and Chloe scurried out of the storage area. The green button was the one that automatically opened all of the condo’s inside doors. Chloe had become enamored with it as soon as she figured out that, with a push of a button, all the dogs could get together and play. At first, we thought it was funny and cute. After a week we decided that having to herd all the dogs back into their condos several times a day wasn’t cute but downright annoying. I’d worked with Chloe to eliminate the behavior and had finally gotten her trained. Now I was giving her permission to do it again. I doubted that she would understand that this was a one-time exception to the rule, but she was the smartest dog I’d ever seen, so anything was possible.

  “Nah, there’s no puppies here,” the first man said. “I think Perry has got his wires crossed.”

  We heard the soft whirring sound and I peered through a small slit in the door.

  “What a smart dog,” I whispered with pride.

  “Hey, George,” the first man said.

  “Yeah?”

  “What’s that standing behind you?”

  “Huh? Uh-oh.”

  “Is that a Rottweiler?”

  “Yup. Don’t look now, but I think there’s one standing behind you, too.”

  “Uh-oh. Nice doggy.”

  Then their screams filled the condo area. We heard the sound of both flashlights clattering to the floor. We burst out of the storage area, and I scrambled for the light switch, and the room was bathed in light. The men were on the floor desperately trying to escape the clutches of Rocky and Bullwinkle, a pair of Rottweilers from the same litter we’d had since they were puppies. Very gentle by nature, but extremely protective of their territory and both of us, each dog had one of the men’s ankles in a death grip.

  Both men stopped screaming when they saw us staring down at them.

  “Get him off me,” the first man said.

  “Now why would I do that?” Josie said.

  “Oooh, good question,” I said, laughing.

  “I’m warning you, lady,” the first man said.

  “You’re not very bright, are you?” Josie said, shaking her head. “Get him Bullwinkle.”

  The Rottweiler tightened his grip on the man’s ankle and shook his leg like a chew toy. Another round of screams filled the condo area.

  “Okay, Bullwinkle,” Josie said, laughing. “Easy does it.”

  Bullwinkle paused to reposition his grip on the ankle and emitted a deep growl that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I could only imagine the physiological effects the man writing in pain on the floor was experiencing.

  “Let’s put them in one of the condos,” I said.

  “Good idea,” Josie said, then looked down at the two immobilized, terror-stricken men. “You want to crawl in, or would you like Rocky and Bullwinkle to drag you?”

  “Okay, lady,” the first man said. “You win.”

  “Rocky. Bullwinkle,” Josie said. “Let go.”

  Both dogs released their grip but remained sitting and growling inches away. The second man dragged himself into a nearby condo, and Bullwinkle trotted in after him and sat down blocking the doorway. The first man made a different, and rather poor, choice. As soon as Rocky released his ankle, he scrambled to his feet and made a hobbled beeline for the exit.

  Josie glanced at me, shaking her head.

  “He must be a slow learner. Okay, genius, have it your way,” she said, doing her best not to laugh. “Go get him, Rocky,”

  The Rottweiler tore after the man, leaped through the air, and grabbed the back of his thigh. The man dropped like a rock and screamed again as blood began to ooze onto the floor. Rocky must have enjoyed the taste because he repositioned his mouth and went back for seconds. Then the dog began dragging him toward the condo where his partner was cowering against the back wall. The man managed to crawl inside, and Rocky let go upon Josie’s command.

  “I’m bleeding,” the first man said, wincing as he examined his leg.

  “Yes, I noticed,” Josie said. “You’re going to need stitches.”

  “I am?”

  “Yeah. A lot of them,” she said.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because I’m a vet and I know a deep puncture wound when I see it,” she said.

  “If you’re a vet, then you know how to do stitches, right?”

  “Absolutely,” Josie said.

  “Well, don’t just stand there, sew me up,” the man said.

  “Trust me, sweetie,” Josie said, glaring at him. “The last thing you want right now is me anywhere near you with a sharp object in my hand.”

  I grabbed a stack of towels from the storage area and tossed them inside the condo.

  “Wrap them tight,” I said.

  Chloe trotted over, and I bent down to rub her head.

  “What a good girl,” I said.

  “That dog is scary smart,” Josie said.

  “She certainly is. Now watch this,” I said. “Chloe. Red button.”

  We watched as Chloe trotted over to the panel near the entrance. She hopped up on the stool, stood on her back legs, and used a front paw to press the button. We heard the soft whirring sound again as the condo doors slowly closed. Just for the fun of it, we left Rocky and Bullwinkle in the condo with our two uninvited guests.

  Seconds later, Jackson and Detective Abrams appeared in the doorway with guns drawn. They took a look around and saw the trail of blood on the floor.

  “Are you guys okay?” Jackson said.

  “We’re fine,” I said. “But I think those two might need some help.”

  “Let me guess,” Detective Abrams said, glancing at the two men. “Dr. Long didn’t feel like waiting until tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, so he sent these two geniuses,” Josie said.

  “What happened to them?” Jackson said.

  “Rocky and Bullwinkle had a late night snack,” I said.

  “Rottweiler bite, huh?” Detective Abrams said.

  “Yeah.”

  “Good,” Detective Abrams said, heading for the condo where the two men continued to cower against the back wall. “You mind leaving the dogs in there while I have a little chat with our friends?”

  “Nothing would make us happier,” Josie said, grabbing a mop from the storage area.

  “Let me take care of that,” I said, taking the mop from her hand.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. Why don’t you head up to the house and grab yourself a snack? I know how hungry adrenaline always makes you.”

  “I could eat.”

  Chapter 24

  We decided to have Sammy and Jill stay up at the house with the puppies while Josie and I dealt with Dr. Perry Long. A little after seven we headed down to the Inn and said good morning to all the dogs, paying extra attention to Rocky and Bullwinkle for their efforts last night. Josie got Captain comfortable in his own condo near the middle of the room, and we reclosed all the doors and made sure that Chloe was with us when we returned to my office to wait. It wouldn’t be a good time for her to starting pushing buttons.

  We heard a car pull into the parking lot, and I glanced through the window and saw Jackson, Detective Abrams, and Agent Tompkins climb out of a non-descript sedan and head our way. They joined us in the office, and Josie tossed each of them a pair of the dark blue scrubs all our staff wore at work.

  “You really expect me to wear these?” Jackson said, turning the scrubs over in his hands.

  “You bet we do,” Josie said, chuckling. “And by the time this is over, you’ll be thanking me.”

  “I don’t think I like the sound of this,” Jackson said. “What do you expect me to do?”

 
; “Nothing that a Junior Technician wouldn’t do on a daily basis,” Josie said, flashing a smile at me.

  I rolled my desk chair back to reveal a large plastic garbage can on wheels lined with a trash bag. Two long objects sat inside in garbage can. I held both objects up and showed them to Jackson.

  “Your shovel and your custom made scooper,” I said. “You have two acres to cover so I suggest you change clothes and get busy.”

  Detective Abrams and Agent Tompkins tried, but were unable to suppress their laughter.

  “Let me get this straight,” Jackson said. “You expect me to clean up after your dogs?”

  “Absolutely,” Josie said. “What did you think you were going to be doing?”

  “Well, when you mentioned that we would be playing the role of one of your staff, I just assumed that I’d be one of the vets working here. Or at least a vet assistant.”

  “Sorry, Jackson,” I deadpanned. “But you’re not qualified.”

  “Qualified to do what?” Jackson said. “Pretend to be someone I’m not?”

  “Yeah, you got a point there,” I said, nodding. “But we’re sorry, you’re on clean-up today.” I gestured toward the two-acre area that sat directly outside the warm office. “Your poo-pile awaits.”

  “I can’t believe you two,” Jackson said, heading for the door, scrubs in hand.

  “Relax, Jackson,” Josie said, beaming at him. “It’s winter. And that makes your job so much easier.”

  “Does it now?” Jackson said, glaring at Josie.

  “Sure. Scooping is so much easier when everything is frozen.”

  Jackson turned and started for the door but stopped when I cleared my throat.

  “Don’t forget these,” I said, rolling the garbage can across the office. “When you’re done, just remove and tie the plastic bag and toss it in the big bin in back. Then put in a fresh bag and wash the shovel and scooper and put them back in the garbage can.”

  “Yes, your Majesty,” he said.

  Jackson tossed the scrubs over his shoulder and grabbed the handle on the can. He pushed it toward the door grumbling as he left the office and all the way down the hall.

  “That was fun,” Josie said.

  “What about us?” Detective Abrams said.

  “We thought we’d put you in the condo area. All you need to do is keep an eye on the dogs. Feel free to play with them, make sure they have water, stuff like that,” I said.

  “And if Perry so much as lays a finger on Captain, feel free to shoot him,” Josie said.

  “Or maybe just break his arm,” I said.

  “Yeah,” Josie said, glancing at Detective Abrams. “That would be your decision.”

  “Thanks,” Detective Abrams deadpanned. “I appreciate you trusting me to make the right call.”

  “You’re pretty funny for a cop, Detective Abrams,” Josie said, laughing.

  “Agent Tompkins, we thought you would probably want to handle reception. You’ll be able to monitor our conversations, and I doubt if we’ll get any walk-ins this morning.”

  “Sounds great,” Agent Tompkins said. “Would you mind showing me how your phone system works? As your receptionist, I should probably know how to transfer a call.”

  “Good catch,” Josie said, getting up off the couch. “Come on, I’ll walk you through it.

  They left the office, and Detective Abrams got up from his chair.

  “Where can I get changed?”

  “Out the office to the right,” I said.

  “Should I meet you in the condo area?”

  “Sure,” I said. “And thanks for doing this, Detective Abrams.”

  “It’s what they pay me to do,” he said, shrugging. “And besides, I never get a chance to hang out with dogs all day and get paid for it.”

  “You should give it a try,” I said. “It’s not a bad way to go through life.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right about that,” he said, giving me a small wave as he left.

  I paced back and forth for a few minutes, then decided there were better ways for me to spend my time. I headed for reception and waited for Josie to finish with Agent Tompkins. Then we headed to the condos and found Detective Abrams in Tiny’s condo. The Great Dane had the detective on his back and was using his front paws to pin the detective’s shoulders to the floor. Detective Abrams was laughing as he struggled to get loose.

  “I think he has you beat,” I said.

  “This guy is great,” Detective Abrams said, climbing to his feet. “Is he available for adoption?”

  “No, we’re sorry,” Josie said, shaking her head. “But Tiny’s not going anywhere.”

  “Too bad,” Detective Abrams said.

  “But we should have a litter of German Shepherds available in a couple of months,” I said. “And I think we still have one of the Labs.”

  “Nope,” Josie said. “Sammy said she was adopted yesterday.”

  “Really? Who got her?”

  “The Andersons.”

  “Perfect. They’re a great family,” I said, then stopped when I heard a car.

  I glanced out the window at the play area. Jackson, scooper in hand, was looking toward the front of the Inn, then he turned around and saw me. He gave me a quick thumbs-up, then went back to work.

  “He’s here,” I said.

  “Let’s go through it again,” Josie said.

  “Okay, remember to keep it simple,” Detective Abrams said. “Let him take all the photos he wants, then give him the tour. At some point, he’s going to want to take a look at the Newfie. Take the puppy to the exam room right off the reception area. Josie, I’ll go in with you as your assistant. And Jackson and Agent Tompkins will be standing guard right outside the exam room as well as the back door that leads to the condo area. Dr. Long’s not going anywhere.”

  “What if he gets violent or starts making threats?” Josie said.

  “If he does, just do your best to stay calm and quiet and leave him to me,” Detective Abrams said.

  “Okay,” Josie said. “But if he does anything to hurt Captain, I’m not making any promises.”

  A buzzer sounded that indicated someone wanted to see us in reception, so Josie and I headed that way. Detective Abrams picked up a broom and did his best to look busy. Josie and I stepped into reception and found Dr. Perry Long regaling Agent Tompkins with a story about himself. A woman was glancing around the reception area with her back to us.

  “Josie,” Dr. Long said when he heard us. “Hello, Suzy.”

  “Perry,” Josie gushed as she moved in for a hug. “You made it.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” he said. “Josie and Suzy, I’d like you to meet Cynthia Chambers, photographer extraordinaire.”

  “Oh, Perry,” the woman said, turning around to face us. “You’re such a flatterer.”

  She smiled at us and extended her hand. I did my best to hide my surprise and glanced at Josie who appeared to be doing the same. Standing before us was Gloria Fullerton, renowned technology consultant and ex-wife of Tom, sister to the deceased Jerome, Perry’s girlfriend, and, if the photos weren’t lying, quite the avid golfer.

  “Nice to meet you,” I said, shaking her hand.

  “What a beautiful place you have here,” the woman calling herself Cynthia said.

  “Hi, Cynthia,” Josie said. “Thanks.”

  “Hello, Josie. Perry has told me all about your prowess as a vet.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t put too much stock in that,” Josie said, smiling. “I hear he’s a drinker.”

  They both roared with laughter.

  “Didn’t I tell you she was funny?” Perry said.

  “Yes, you did, Perry,” she said. “You certainly did.”

  I exhaled loudly and snuck a glance at Agent Tompkins who also seemed tired of the sugary chit-chat.

  “What do you say we get started?” Josie said.

  “Perfect,” Perry said. “How about we get the photos out of the way and th
en we can take a look at that gorgeous Newfie puppy?”

  “Perfect,” Josie said, beaming at both of them.

  We headed out the front door and walked along the side of the Inn until we reached the back area. As we walked, Josie rambled on about the Inn and our expansion plans. Perry and Cynthia nodded, and she snapped several photos along the way. When we reached the spot where the expansion would extend off from the main building we stopped, and Josie and I spent a few minutes explaining what our plans were. This was the easy part since everything we told them was consistent with what we would be doing as soon as Spring arrived.

  Jackson wandered over dragging the garbage can behind him.

  “Okay, I’m done out here,” Jackson said.

  “That’s great, Jackson,” I said, glancing around the play area. “It looks like you missed a couple, but you can take care of those on your afternoon rounds.”

  “Sure, Suzy,” he said, giving me the evil eye. “I’ll be happy to.”

  “I’d like you to meet Jackson,” Josie said. “He’s one of our newest junior technicians.”

  “Dr. Perry Long,” he said, extending his hand toward Jackson. “And this is my photographer, Cynthia.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Jackson said.

  “You look like a man who loves his job,” Perry said.

  “Actually, I do love my job,” Jackson said, nodding.

  “That’s great. And don’t worry about starting out in a low-level position. A lot of people in this industry started out at the bottom and worked their way up.”

  “Did you?” Jackson said.

  “Oh, no. Of course not,” Perry said, laughing. “But hang in there, Jackson. Even Rod Stewart started out as a gravedigger.”

  “Good for Rod,” Jackson whispered, giving me the evil eye.

  “If you’ve got all the photos you need, Cynthia, why don’t we head inside where it’s warm?” I said, glancing at Jackson and rolling my eyes at him.

  We entered the condo area and were greeted by a round of happy barks and yips.

  “Well, somebody is sure glad to see you,” Perry said, glancing down the long line of condos. “These are nice accommodations. Well done, ladies. I’m impressed.”

  “Thanks,” Josie said. “We like to think so.”