Bittersweet Darkness

by Nina Croft

  “Only for some people.”

  “They told me that they were using Tara to get to Christian. I didn’t know where she was then, and it never occurred to me that they would hurt her.” She saw Ryan’s disbelief and scowled. “I thought they were the good guys. Good guys don’t torture people. The following morning I got my security clearance and the colonel obviously decided I could be trusted at the interrogations. After that, it wouldn’t have mattered whether she was guilty or not. Nobody has the right to treat another human being like that. As soon as I could get away, I called you.”

  He reached out and patted her hand. “I’m glad. It couldn’t have been easy going back in there and pretending.”

  “It wasn’t too hard. The colonel tried to tell me that Christian had murdered my mother. I concentrated on that—”

  “What?” Ryan’s voice held shock. She’d never told Ryan about her mother, never told anyone until Ash, last night. It was another of those things her mind skittered away from thinking about.

  The cot was behind her, and she sank down onto it and hugged her knees to her chest. Even now, something inside her niggled that she shouldn’t talk about this. She blocked the nagging little voice out and forced herself to speak.

  “My mother was murdered when I was twelve. I found her body. She’d been drained of blood.”

  Ryan came and sat down beside her. “I didn’t know. You never spoke of it. Even when we found the murdered girl. Why didn’t you say something then?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never been able to talk about it.” She shook her head. “I don’t even think about it that often. It’s as though it’s a nightmare that slipped away. No, more than that. It’s like there’s something inside me that blocks the memory out. I don’t know…”

  “But the colonel told you there was a link to Christian?”

  She nodded. “He said he was a”—she could hardly speak the word—“a vampire and my mother had been drained of blood.”

  “And you believed him?”

  “No. I don’t remember much, but if I concentrate hard, I can see him, from the back and he was blond and not much taller than my mother.”

  “Wait, you mean you were there in the house when she was murdered?”

  “Yes. I told you, I found her. I went along with the colonel, because he was more likely to believe I was on their side.”

  She thought about the file she had read on her mother’s murder, the pictures. Her hand went to her throat as she remembered the last photograph.

  “What is it?” Ryan asked.

  “On the file there was a photo. Of me. I had marks on my neck as though something had bitten me.” Panic rose up inside her. “But I don’t remember. How could I not remember?”

  “Did you have any counseling afterward?”

  “Only a little, because I remembered virtually nothing.”

  “Could the counselor have done something—some type of hypnosis?”

  “I don’t know. I just don’t know.” Could that be the answer? Had someone taken her memories, helped her build the wall? For the first time, she closed her eyes and tried to peer beyond the barrier. Her headache had faded, but she pressed her fingers to her forehead as though she could force herself to remember.

  Ryan’s phone rang breaking her concentration. He listened for a minute his brows drawing together. “Christian wants to talk to me and you,” he said after the call ended.

  Fear rippled through her. She didn’t want to die. Not yet. “What about?”

  He shrugged. “Who knows? But I won’t let anything bad happen to you Faith.” He seemed unsure for a moment. “Ash made a point of telling everyone not to touch you.”

  “Probably wants to kill me himself,” she muttered. But his words calmed her a little.

  “No one is killing anyone.”

  “Anyone else, you mean.” A whole load of people had already died that night. “Is Christian coming here?”

  “No, we’ll go to them. At least it will get you out of here.”

  She forced a smile. “It’s not so bad.” But it was definitely a relief to be out of the small space. She followed Ryan down a corridor. “What is this place?” she asked. On the drive over here, she hadn’t paid attentions to where they were going. She’d presumed that they were heading to the CR building, but she hadn’t recognized the underground parking area.

  “We’re in the city in the SA International building.”

  “I know it.” An office block in the center of the business district, but obviously, it extended farther underground that any normal building. They took the elevator one floor up, and Ryan led the way along another corridor and entered the room at the end.

  It seemed crowded, but maybe that was because the two occupants were so big. Ash sat behind the desk. Christian stood behind him. They both glanced away from the monitor as she entered the room with Ryan.

  Christian didn’t exactly appear friendly but at least he didn’t seem quite so scarily unfriendly. Ash rose to his feet his gaze running over her. He was so gorgeous. Black leather pants molded his long legs and lean hips. A short-sleeved T-shirt clung to his broad shoulders and showed of the intricate tattoo around his arm.

  “Are you feeling okay?” he asked.

  She nodded. At least it didn’t sound like they were going to kill her straightaway. “Thanks for the painkillers.”

  He shrugged.

  “So what is it?” Ryan said. He nodded toward the computer monitor on the desk. “You were watching?”

  “Yes.”

  “You have more questions?”

  “No. Not right now anyway.” Christian said glancing to her back to Ryan. “We’re happy she had nothing to do with the kidnapping. Don’t look so worried—I won’t touch her.”

  “Good. So what do you want to talk about?”

  Christian stepped around the desk and stalked toward her. She had to force herself to stand her ground and not back away. He was as beautiful as Ash in his own way, but he scared her, as Ash never did, despite what she’d seen. He came to a halt in front of her, and she almost squirmed under the intense scrutiny.

  “Tell me, Faith,” he murmured. “Do you believe in vampires?”

  Faith’s mind went blank for a moment, then filled with an image of the wall; it gave her the strength to answer. “Of course not.”

  Christian smiled, showing the tips of sharp white fangs. “Really?”

  She glanced away. They weren’t real. But her heart was slamming and inside her head the wall trembled.

  Vampires don’t exist.

  The words screamed through her mind.

  “What would it take to make you believe?”

  “Nothing. There’s nothing would make me believe. Vampires don’t exist.” She looked around her almost wildly. “You don’t understand—they can’t exist. They can’t.”

  “What’s going on?” Ryan asked.

  Christian turned away from her, and she breathed again.

  “Her memories have been altered. Someone has already messed with her mind.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Who’d messed with her mind? She knew there were cases where traumatized victims were helped by a form of hypnosis. Had that happened to her? Was that why the memories were so hazy?

  Ryan ran a hand through his hair. He scrutinized her closely, as though he was trying to see into her head. “You think a vampire did something to her mind?”

  What the hell was Ryan talking about? Why was he going along with this madness? She looked to Ash hoping for some help some sign that she wasn’t the only sane one here.

  Vampires do not exist.

  Ash nodded and cracks rippled through the wall. “We think the vamp who killed her mother. Maybe she interrupted. For some reason he left her alive but forced her to forget and added a compulsion that refused to let her believe that vampires existed.”

  They were all crazy. That was it. They were all on some drug or something. She needed to get out of
there. She whirled around meaning to make for the door, but Ryan blocked her with a hand on her arm.

  “Let me go,” she snarled.

  Instead, he held her for a moment. He whispered into her hair. “I’m sorry, but you need to face this, Faith.”

  “Face what? What are you talking about?”

  She raised her head and stared into his eyes. They were full of pity. “They think something was done to you. All those years ago, after your mother’s death. To make you forget.”

  “Do you believe them?”

  “Yes.” He turned to Christian. “Can you reverse it?”

  “Probably. If the one who did it is weaker, then I can override the compulsion.”

  Ryan gripped both her shoulders and stared down into her eyes. “Faith, do you want to remember? It might be better left alone.”

  “Of course she wants to remember,” Ash said. “The truth is always better than lies.”

  “Is it?” Ryan asked. “Or do you just want her to finally believe in the monsters? This has to be what’s right for Faith, not for you.”

  She had no clue what was going on, but some unknown terror hovered on the edge of her mind.

  “You said you wanted her to work with us. She can hardly do that as she is now.” Ash sounded quite reasonable…for a crazy person. He came toward her and Ryan dropped his hold on her arms. “You want to know, don’t you, Faith? You’re a detective, and that’s why you became a detective isn’t it—to discover the truth?”

  Every cell in her body was screaming at her to run, instead, she found herself nodding slowly. She didn’t know why, she seemed to have lost control of her reactions.

  A smile flashed across Ash’s face. “Good, girl.”

  He touched Ryan lightly on the arm and the two men backed away. Ryan still seemed worried, but resigned and…curious.

  “Faith, sit down.” The softly spoken words came from behind her, and she pivoted slowly to find Christian Roth standing close beside her.

  She backed away and came up against the edge of the black leather sofa. Her knees gave way and she sank down. Christian sat beside her, grasped her shoulders, and turned her so she faced him.

  “Look at me, Faith.”

  She bit down on her lip but raised her gaze to his. He had beautiful eyes, pale silver, and this close she could see the circle of black around his irises. Mesmerizing eyes, deep, as though she could sink into them.

  “Go back,” he murmured. “Go back to the night your mother was murdered.”

  Part of her brain was screaming in terror, but the part in charge felt strangely calm and disassociated from that fear. And she allowed her thoughts to drift back.

  “Tell me what you remember?” Christian said.

  She swallowed, then cleared her throat. “Everything had gone quiet. I’d heard them talking, but now there was nothing. I don’t know why, but I needed to check that my mother was all right. She never had men in the house. Now one was in her bedroom.” She closed her eyes pictured the door. “I stood outside. The door was slightly ajar, and I pushed it.” Her eyes flew open; she didn’t want to see that image, but it flashed in her mind. “She was on the bed, naked. I’d never seen my mother naked before. She lay with her head hanging over the edge of the mattress. At first, I thought she had a scarf around her neck. A red scarf, but I saw it was wounds, teeth marks and there were more at her wrist and between her thighs.” Nausea roiled in her stomach. “I stepped closer. I didn’t know she was dead. I wanted to help her. Then I sensed something behind me. Something bad.”

  “Faith? What next?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing. I remember nothing.”

  His silver eyes bored into her skull. “You do remember, Faith. “Tell me what you remember.”

  Her mind was splintering. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ryan take a step toward her, but Ash stopped him with a hand on his arm.

  “I don’t want to,” she whispered, but the wall was shattering.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Part of him wanted to tell Christian to stop, to leave her alone. But Ash knew she had to do this. It had become so clear while they had watched her talk to Ryan down in the cell that she was under some sort of compulsion. Now he understood why her disbelief in anything supernatural had seemed so inflexible.

  If he ever found the vamp who’d done this to her, he’d rip his fucking head off.

  “Go on, Faith,” Christian said. “What happened next?”

  A pulse fluttered in her throat and her hands clenched into tight fists on her lap. Her eyes were open now, haunted.

  “I turned around. And I saw him. His face was a crimson mask of blood. My mother’s blood. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t move. ‘Just a little sip,’ he said to me. And he bit me. It didn’t hurt. In fact, it felt so good. Afterward, he told me that I would forget and that vampires don’t exist. None of the monsters existed.”

  “But they do exist, don’t they, Faith,” Christian murmured. “You know that now?”

  She nodded slowly, reached out a hand, and lightly touched his face. “Show me.”

  Christian snarled revealing the tip of one fang. She touched it briefly and let her hand drop to her side.

  “Vampires exist. You’re a vampire.” She sounded forlorn, but then the world, which she’d been so certain of, was crumbling around her.

  Ash released his hold on Ryan. The fight had gone out of him anyway. He rummaged in desk and found the bottle of whisky and glasses Piers always kept in there. He poured a measure, took it Faith, and wrapped her fingers around the glass.

  Christian rose to his feet making room for Ash. He sank down beside her.

  “Drink it, Faith.”

  She raised the glass to her lips almost automatically and took a large gulp of whiskey, then a second. She peered at him over the rim. “At least I know you’re not a vampire.”

  Ryan snorted and Ash shot him a sharp glance. He would tell Faith the truth about what he was at some point, but she’d had enough shocks for one day.

  He was quite aware he was indulging in a little self-delusion here. Some part of him knew that if she discovered what he was, it would be over between them. And he wasn’t ready for that. Hell “it” hadn’t even started yet.

  There could be nothing long term between them anyway, at least not in the way he figured long term. Faith was mortal. She would die. He would not allow himself to get in too deeply with her.

  He’d loved and lost once, and he would not go through that again.

  He stopped short and stared at the woman in front of him, horror filling his mind. No way was he falling in love with her. Even thinking the word while in the same room with Faith was dangerous.

  Maybe he should tell her what he was now, show his real self, and she’d no doubt tell him to piss off and the danger would be over.

  But he couldn’t do it. “No, I’m definitely not a vampire.”

  “Can all vampires do that?” she asked. “The mind thing?”

  Ash shrugged. “Some are better than others, but to a certain extent—yes.”

  She was silent for a minute. “Is that how they stay secret? Of course it is. Is that what he’ll do to me? If you let me leave?”

  “Probably.”

  “Hey, don’t pull your punches, Ash. Tell it like it is.”

  “Do you prefer lies?”

  “Actually, I’m still trying to decide that one.”

  As he watched her, she glanced across to where Christian was punching something into the computer and her hand went to her throat, her finger stroking down the vein. She’d said it felt good. Was she remembering? She better not get a hankering for vampires. If she wanted biting, then Ash would do it.

  Christian straightened. “Faith?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’d like you to look at something.”

  She rose to her feet and wobbled slightly, probably a combination of shock, painkillers, and whiskey. Ash got up, gripped her arm, and led her the few steps
to the desk.

  “Do you recognize him?” Christian asked.

  Ash studied the screen. It showed a blond man, almost bland in appearance with pale blue eyes and thin lips.

  “It’s him,” Faith whispered. “Who is he?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Christian replied. “He’s dead.”

  “Dead? I thought you couldn’t die.”

  “We can be killed. Just not easily.”

  “Who killed him?”

  “Piers.”

  “But why?”

  “Well, partly because he killed your mother.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Sit down, and I’ll explain a little of what we are.”

  She took a step, turned back, grabbed the whiskey bottle from the desk, and took it with her. After pouring herself half a glass, she sat in the corner clutching it in her hand. Christian perched on the edge of the desk. Ash took the seat opposite her so he could watch her face.

  “So what are you?” she said.

  “This place is known as the Order of the Shadow Accords and one of the things we do here is police the supernatural world. There aren’t many rules, but we make sure they’re strictly adhered to. One of those rules is don’t bring attention to ourselves.”

  “And he did that?”

  “Yes. Your mother wasn’t the only human he murdered and left to be found. He was warned, he killed again, and so he was destroyed.”

  “By Piers Lamont.”

  “Yes, he heads up the Order.”

  “He’s a vampire.”

  “Yes.”

  “Shit.”

  Ash watched as she took another gulp of whiskey. She was going to be so drunk. He wasn’t sure that was a good thing or a bad thing. She glanced at the glass and frowned. “I don’t suppose there’s anything to eat around here. I haven’t eaten since…” She glanced at Ash. “Since last night.”

  “I’ll go find you something,” Ryan said and strode out of the room. Faith turned her attention back to Christian.

  “Did you know him? The man who murdered my mother?”

  “His name was Pieter. He worked here for a while but he was an asshole. I sacked him. I should have killed him back then.”