Sweet Solace (The Seattle Sound Series Book 1)

by Alexa Padgett

  “What’s wrong with you?” Jessica asked stepping back.

  “Panic attack. Stress and anxiety bring it on.”

  “You need to sit down?” Dale asked. He slid around Jessica to grip my elbow. I yanked from his grasp, shooting him a glare I hoped showcased my loathing. I headed in the opposite direction where Abbi was slouched in a chair, playing on her phone and smacking her gum. I sat down in a chair kitty-corner from Abbi.

  “Can’t we talk somewhere more private?” Jessica asked.

  “She has on earphones,” I said, pointing to Abbi. “I doubt she can hear anything, and I need to be under a vent. The stream of air helps. I wasn’t expecting Dale to be here. He asked me for a date just weeks ago, and his messages afterward were disturbing.”

  Why hadn’t I thought to send those messages to Asher? I would, as soon as this conversation was over.

  Dale had the decency to look chagrined. Jessica’s eyes narrowed as she considered me. Her lips curled as she settled into the chair opposite me. Dale sat next to her.

  Abbi glanced at us before ducking her head back down over her phone.

  “Just a girl waiting for someone,” Dale said, patting Jessica’s hand. “No need to worry.”

  “Did you see the paper this morning?” Jessica asked.

  “I don’t read the paper,” I said, keeping my eyes round. “I helped Mason and Jeremiah make a fort.” I hadn’t. Briar had. But I wanted to see her reaction to her son’s name.

  Jessica frowned. “So Asher is sleeping with you and has my son there?” She smirked, tossing that hair over her shoulder.

  “No, not at all. Jeremiah’s my nephew. I’m staying with my family,” I said. “Mason and Jeremiah have become friends. They met because my brother-in-law is recording a few songs with the Supernaturals. Mason spent the night last night.” I frowned. “I thought you knew that.”

  She snorted. “Like I care where Mason is when it’s Asher’s night.”

  “Oh, I’m glad you were okay with him spending the night, then. Because Asher gave me his cell number, your cell number, and the number at the hotel in case something happened to Mason. Asher wanted to make sure we had an emergency covered. Since he was at the venue, you know.”

  Jessica waved her hand. “So Asher stuck you with his kid while he did, what? Screwed some groupie in his hotel room?” She sat back, her mouth twisted in an ugly line. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

  Abbi shifted in her seat, the frown on her face fierce.

  “He’s cheated on you?” I asked.

  “Of course he did. Asher likes sex. What man doesn’t? He writes about his hookups.” Jessica crossed her arms across her chest. She had cleavage, all plump and perfect. I wanted to cross my arms now to cover up my failings. Why would Asher want me when he was used to someone who looked like Jessica?

  “So you proved his infidelity?” I asked. “Besides pictures with me. There are others? You do this often?”

  “I’m the one who suggested Jessica have Asher followed,” Dale said. “Unfortunately, you’re the only woman he’s been with.”

  I blinked, forcing my gaze toward his face. “Why would you do that?”

  “I was in the process of going through a rather messy divorce myself. My wife—”

  “Ex-wife,” Jessica snapped. She softened the blow by taking his hand and placing it high on her thigh.

  Dale cleared his throat. “My ex-wife was much more amenable to the settlement once she knew I was having her tailed.”

  I raised my eyebrow, eyes dropping to his thumb caressing her trim leg. “That’s why you’re cheating on him?” I asked. “To get even?”

  Jessica waved her hand. “It’s not like Dale and I are a secret. My marriage to Asher has been over for years. I’d’ve left him sooner, but I needed leverage.”

  “Jessica,” Dale murmured.

  “What’s she going to do? Run to Asher’s lawyer? I may not always be the best mother, but Asher promised to take care of me. He hasn’t, not like he said he would. I deserve my share of the money. I’ve raised Mason while Asher is off fucking his way through groupies.”

  “I’m sure the judge will have an opinion on that,” I said, trying to keep my voice neutral.

  “You don’t understand what it was like. He’s just a new, exciting flavor for you. He’ll leave to tour because that’s what he loves.”

  “I’ve known him for years. Long before you ever met him,” I said.

  Jessica narrowed her eyes. Ah, so she wasn’t good with research. I considered adding more but decided I didn’t want that on Abbi’s video.

  “He dumped you then,” she decided. “Just like he left me alone for weeks, sometimes months at a time. The worst was with the crying babies.”

  “He was home after you had the kids,” I said. “Didn’t you ask him to leave? You wanted him to tour.”

  She glared. Dale’s pale eyes turned assessing. I might be quiet, introspective, but those traits didn’t make me weak or stupid.

  “When I met Asher, I thought he’d give me financial security. Growing up like I did, you learn the power of money. Not something you’d understand.”

  “My sister and I went hungry for weeks until my mother came to get us. I’m well versed in hunger.”

  “Then you should help me.” Jessica sat forward, her face animated. “If you were to mention Asher’s pill problem, then I’d get custody of Mason.”

  “I’ve never seen Asher take any pills,” I said. “Why do you want Mason?”

  She preened like a cat with a fresh-caught mouse. “I’d be in charge of Asher’s visitation days.”

  “And that matters because?”

  Jessica leaned back, her eyes shuttering. I caught Abbi’s panicked eye. She didn’t have a lot more video time.

  “I’m sure lots of places would like those pictures I have of you two.”

  “You can sell them, sure.” I stood, unable to banter any longer. This wasn’t working. “But all this does is hurt Mason.”

  Jessica tossed her hair back over her shoulder. “Mason’s fine. He’ll continue to be fine.”

  “Look, this is pointless. Asher’s a good man, Jessica. He’s still hurt about Olivia’s death. He was willing to stick it out with you, to help you get beyond that. He tried. You didn’t.”

  Jessica stiffened, her breathing escalating. “Don’t bring up my daughter.”

  “What happened to her is tragic,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean you get to rip Asher apart about it forever.”

  “I said don’t talk about her!” Jessica shrieked. “You have no idea what it’s like to have a child die in your arms.”

  “Calm down,” Dale said, his eyes darting around. People had turned toward us. Dale waved apologetically.

  “Don’t tell me to calm down! Everyone thinks he’s so amazing. He’s always been so damn selfish. He was supposed to help me with the babies. He’d done it every night for months, but that night, he went to bed. She wouldn’t stop crying.”

  Jessica put her face in her hands. Dale stood and wrapped his arm around Jessica’s waist, but he looked just as lost as I was.

  “It’s his fault. He promised to make my life better. He promised.”

  Jessica pressed her face into Dale’s neck. He and I stared at each other for a long moment, me trying to breathe through the horrible realization blooming in my mind.

  “Let’s go, honey,” Dale said.

  Briar slid next to me. She tilted my head back, and I looked into her stormy eyes. “Breathe, Dahlia,” she murmured just for my ears.

  “In her arms?” I rasped.

  “What?”

  I forced down the panic and breathed deep. Calmer, I said, “Asher told me Olivia died in bed with him, but Jessica just said she was holding her when she died.”

  Ella put her arm around my waist. “Babies don’t suffocate while being held.” Her voice was scratchy. She was trying hard to maintain her emotions, just as I was. Briar’s eyes widened as she proces
sed Ella’s comment.

  “Holy hell,” Briar whispered.

  “Did you video tape it?” I asked Abbi. My chest hurt, and I rubbed at the ache, trying to focus through the discomfort.

  She nodded, her face pallid.

  “I did, too,” Briar said.

  “Bri, find out anything you can about Olivia Smith. Call Mom. She still works in hospital records, right? Have her go in and pull the autopsy. Use your media credentials if she gets difficult. We need to send whatever they have on Olivia to Asher’s lawyers before the hearing tomorrow.”

  “On it,” Briar said. She pressed the screen on her phone and stepped away. Ella sat me down before taking the chair next to mine. She gripped my hand. Abbi sat on the other side.

  “She said some horrible things,” Ella said. “They don’t sound like Asher at all, love. She’s determined to rip him apart, deserved or not.”

  “It’s a divorce,” I said. “They don’t bring out the warm fuzzies between a couple.”

  “She’s angry and wants to hurt Asher,” Abbi said, her jaw thrust out in that stubborn tilt.

  “She didn’t say anything I wasn’t already worried about.” I closed my eyes, thinking back to last night. To the night he’d told me about Olivia. To yesterday morning when he spun my daughter around, sang her happy birthday. “I’m going to trust him. That he means what he’s said to me.”

  “He loves you, Mom. Even I can see that.”

  Briar walked back and settled into the same chair as me. I scooted over to make more room for her.

  “We got lucky. Mom was in the office. She remembered the case. It was in the paper when it happened. Media sued for details, so she wasn’t really providing anything that wasn’t in the public record.”

  “But I never read anything about it,” I said, mystified.

  “Someone was willing to bury it,” Briar said with a frown. “Maybe Asher had a hand in it.”

  The panic swelled again at the thought of Asher hiding the details of his baby’s death to protect Jessica. Ella clapped the back of my head and shoved my head between my knees. “Breathe!” she yelled.

  I would have laughed at her if I wasn’t in such bad shape. We were making a huge scene in the middle of a five-star hotel.

  I slapped Ella’s hand off my head and looked at my sister. I cleared my throat, certainty settling over me. Asher didn’t know. He loved Mason, and I was sure he’d loved Olivia just as much. He’d wanted to leave Jessica then, and he definitely would have if he’d known Jessica’s part in this situation.

  “Tell me,” I demanded.

  “They did an autopsy, of course. She definitely died of suffocation. There’s more—time of death, a few fragments of cotton fibers from her nasal passages. That kind of thing.”

  “Asher buried it.” I was certain he did. “The story. I bet he buried it because he thought it would hurt Jessica more. He said she had postpartum depression.” I rubbed my hands up my arms. “I bet he didn’t even look at the results. I bet the police didn’t push it once the idea of accidental suffocation was suggested. I mean, he’s still torn up about it.”

  And always would be. He’d told me he wasn’t sober for months afterward. He wouldn’t question what the people around him told him. What his wife, who’d been awake, told him.

  The four of us sat there, stunned.

  I looked at my sister and sister-in-law. “You know what that means?”

  They nodded, looks of revulsion on each of their faces.

  “He doesn’t know.” I swallowed. “He doesn’t know he covered for Jessica’s crime.”

  Briar looked thoughtful. “It was easy to cover up, I bet. Babies die in the family bed all the time. Sad but fairly common.”

  “Don’t tell him,” Abbi suggested. “The truth will just hurt him.”

  “I have to, Abs. This is the information he needs to get custody of Mason.”

  “But at what cost?” Abbi whispered.

  “I don’t know. But he deserves the truth.”

  I stood, forcing my wobbly legs to accept my weight. It was after two. Asher was already in the meeting with Pete for the hearing tomorrow. I pulled out my phone, trying to ignore the anger surging through me. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to be the one to tell him. And over the phone—that was so cold, so impersonal.

  “Send the video to me and Asher,” I said.

  “Shouldn’t you go see him?” Briar asked.

  “Not yet. He’ll need to process this. He’s going to be angry. So hurt.”

  “Exactly why you should go,” Ella said.

  I met their eyes, each in turn. “What if he thinks I was willing to help Jessica?” I whispered. Fear clawed deep in my chest. “I didn’t tell him about meeting her today. All anyone’s ever done is sell him out. Lie to him.” I let go of my hair once I realized I was pulling it. “This is the worst betrayal. And I-I’m part of it.”

  “He’s going to need you,” Ella said.

  She was right. I wanted Asher to trust me with his pain as much as I trusted him.

  “Let’s drive over there while the video sends,” I suggested.

  It took a while for the video to come through because it was such a big file. Abbi had to use Dropbox to send a link. I had her send it to my e-mail account and Briar’s as well. Just to make sure we kept copies.

  “Bri, I need the date of the autopsy.”

  While Briar ran through the records sent to her e-mail, I typed a text to Asher.

  Jessica asked to meet with her today. I know I should’ve told you when I got her text. I’m forwarding it now. I didn’t want to tell you she knew about last night. I wanted to keep it ours. Because what we did, what I hope we have, is so special to me.

  You have to know I had no idea what she’d tell me. I don’t want you to miss this chance to keep Mason safe. I’ll explain the rest when I get there.

  A minute later, my phone rang. Asher’s name flashed on the display. I stared, my chest aching.

  “You have to talk to him,” Ella said. My hands shook as I pressed the Accept button. I clambered in the passenger’s side of the car, my chest still locked in a vise. I couldn’t believe I was upright, working through the anxiety. But I had to. For Asher and Mason, I had to fight back against my own weaknesses and fears.

  “What is all this?” Asher asked. He sounded out of breath.

  “The information you need to make sure Jessica can’t dictate the terms of the divorce,” I said.

  “But how did you get this?”

  “Jessica asked to meet me at her hotel. She wanted me to tell people you’re using drugs in exchange for not sharing photos she has of us together last night.”

  Asher’s curse was vicious. I tightened my hand on the phone. If he was upset by that part . . . “I had Abbi and my sister videotape our conversation.” I swallowed hard then forced the words out. “She admitted to being alone with Olivia. It’s toward the end. The rest is fairly self-explanatory.”

  “You think she hurt Olivia?” he asked, his voice cracking at her name.

  “It doesn’t matter what I think,” I whispered. I waited a beat. “I’m so sorry, Asher.”

  “She said it was me, that I must have rolled over on her or something. That’s what they wrote in the paper.” He sounded so lost, confused.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong, Asher.”

  “I left my kids alone with a woman who killed one of them,” he rasped. The pain in his voice was so vast it flowed through the phone. Briar’s hand was on my shoulder, rubbing in gentle circles.

  “I have more information,” I said, my voice rushed. I needed to tell him all of it. “Dale sent me nasty e-mails after our coffee date that I’ll forward to you. I never answered so they switched tactics, I guess. And there’s a woman in records. Her name is Lesley Jennings. She’s pulled the autopsy information for you.”

  Asher inhaled sharply. “I can’t talk to you anymore,” he said, his voice strained. “I have to talk with my lawye
r.”

  “I want to help you,” I whispered.

  “Not yet, Dahlia. God. I just—not yet.”

  I swallowed down the thick lump of emotion ripping through my throat. “Bye, Asher.” The phone fell into my lap. The screen was black. He’d hung up. Shut me out.

  Ella patted my fist. “He’ll want to see you when he picks up Mason later,” she said, and she turned the car around to drive to her house.

  After we pulled up to Ella’s place, Briar opened my car door, Abbi flanking her. I hated the look in my daughter’s eyes. She was growing up too fast.

  “Abigail. I’m so sorry you had to hear this.”

  “Me, too. But Asher will be okay. He’s going to keep Mason.”

  I held my daughter tight as my insecurities swirled through my head, now in Jessica’s voice. We were so different—our needs, our futures. Still, I waited for him, phone in hand.

  Because this wasn’t my pain. It was Asher’s. And I had to comfort him when he needed me. Even though I didn’t know how to walk him through this. And I couldn’t imagine him wanting to be with the person who’d delivered the news of such a devastating betrayal.

  32

  Asher

  I played the video, wishing I could stay numb. Instead, my stomach knotted and sweat broke out along my upper lip.

  Pete slapped his hand on my shoulder as a huge grin stretched his mouth. “Nailed her. Unfit. Oh, is she in for a world of hurt. I’ve been waiting to play hardball.”

  Mason. I needed to hold my son. He was safe. Dahlia and Abbi were there. They’d protect him. He needed protection from his own mother. The woman I’d married.

  I lurched back from my chair, yanked my keys from my pocket.

  “Where are you going? We need to get the autopsy report and discuss how we’re moving forward with your assets.”

  “I need Mason.” I walked out of the room, ignoring Pete’s calls. Fuck, my chest hurt. Instead of seeing Mason’s face, Olivia’s wispy brown hair and big, hazel eyes filled my thoughts. She’d slept with her mouth parted, bottom high in the air, the same slight cleft in her chin I had. Sure, Olivia hated to fall asleep, but she awakened smiling and laughing.