by Ivy Smoak
"Like this?" He raised his eyebrow at me. "What do you think we're doing?"
I laughed. "I don't know." I put my hand on his hard chest. I just needed to ask him. "Are you seeing anyone else?"
"No."
"So those clubs..."
"I already told you. I haven't been to one since I've met you. You give me everything that I need."
Do I give him everything he needs? How can I, if I don't know what those places are? Is it just sex? Is it shows? Is it more than that? "Can you take me to one?"
"What?" He lowered his eyebrows.
"To one of those places? So I can see it?"
"I'm done, okay? I don't need that anymore. I don't need the money. I've been approaching everything wrong. I just need a big client."
"For the ad agency? Or for the..."
"The ad agency."
"Please, Mason. I want to understand."
He frowned. "Do you trust me?"
I searched his face. Do I? "I mean...do you still send people to them? For money?"
"I'm going to stop. Bee, you have to understand..."
"I need to see it. I need to see what Patrick wanted instead of me. I need to see why you don't do relationships. I need to see what's so great about this thing that I know nothing about." I need to know why I'm never enough.
"You're not going to let this go, are you?"
I shook my head.
"Fine."
"You'll take me?"
"If that's what you want." He looked pissed. But the expression on his face was fleeting. His frown faded and he gave me a playful smile. "Now make me my breakfast, woman." He lightly slapped my ass.
I laughed and pushed on his chest. "You're the worst."
"A man can dream. How about I make you waffles then?" He kissed my cheek.
"Really? You know how to make waffles?"
"Don't sound so surprised." He rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms.
I propped my head up on my hand. "Well, after you burned dinner the other night..."
"If I recall, you distracted me. Honestly, though, don't get too excited. They're Eggo Waffles. I'm good at using the toaster."
"I knew it."
Chapter 53
Mason
"Fuck." I walked into the kitchen and opened up the freezer. I grabbed the box of waffles, pulled two out, and slammed the door. What the hell had I just agreed to? I placed the waffles in the toaster and pressed the button.
My friends had gotten in my head last night. Or maybe I just had too much to drink. But I told Bee that I loved her. And she didn't react. She pretended that she didn't hear. Or maybe she hadn't heard me.
Damn it. I sat down on one of the stools in the kitchen and ran my hand through my hair. She definitely heard me. She just didn't feel the same way. Which I already knew. Why would she love me? How could she?
I looked down at my hands. I was serious when I told her she was all I needed. But she didn't believe me. If she had, she wouldn't be insisting on seeing one of those places. And the way she said Patrick's name. It had looked like she was about to cry. She wanted to know why he was bored in their relationship. She wanted to see why she wasn't enough for him. And she had already seemed to have her mind made up that she'd never be enough for anyone. But that wasn't true. All I wanted was her.
And now I had to take her to one of those fucking clubs. That would be the icing on the cake. She was clearly looking for a reason to leave. And what did it matter? I didn't actually love her. I barely knew her. I said it by mistake. I didn't love anyone. My rationalization wasn't helping. Because what was really bothering me was that she didn't feel the same about me.
"Shit." My chest hurt again. This was why I didn't do relationships. I didn't like not having control. I rubbed my chest with my hand. She deserved better than me. She wasn't the one that didn't have enough to offer...I was.
I looked up as she walked into the kitchen. She was dressed in jeans and a tight, long sleeved shirt. Was she already leaving? I didn't really know what love was. But this might be the closest I'd ever been to it.
"I thought maybe you could take me after breakfast?" she said. She looked nervous.
"I'm not going to get bored with you." I wasn't ready for her to go yet. And after I took her, it would be over.
She pressed her lips together. "Please, Mason. I just want to see it."
I stood up when the waffles popped out of the toaster. Which place was the least damning?
Chapter 54
Bee
We were standing outside an unmarked building.
"I'm actually getting hungry for lunch," Mason said. "There's this place down the street that's really good. What do you say?"
"Is it really that bad?" I asked. He looked upset. No. He looked guilty.
"I don't know why we're here," Mason said. "I told you I was done with this. I wish you would just trust me."
"It's not really that." I folded my arms in front of my chest. "When Patrick broke up with me, he made it seem like it was my fault. Like I wasn't giving him what he needed."
"Do you still have feelings for him?"
"No." My voice sounded small, but I meant it. "I just need to know."
He looked a little relieved. "Patrick is a dick. That's all you need to know."
"Please, Mason."
He sighed and tapped three times on the door. There was a buzzing sound and a little box next to the door lit up. Mason pulled out his phone and looked down at something before pressing the button on the box. "Sunset," he said into the small speaker and then let go of the button. He put his phone back in his pocket.
A huge bald man in jeans and a black t-shirt appeared at the door.
"She's with me," said Mason.
"Did she sign the forms?"
Forms?
"I'll vouch for her," Mason said.
The bouncer looked me up and down. His eyes made my skin feel cold. "She doesn't work for the press?" he said.
"No." Mason sounded annoyed.
The bouncer stared at me for another minute. "Fine. If there's a leak, it's on you, Mason."
"She's not going to tell anyone." Mason looked at me. "Right?"
"I won't," I said. Geez, what the hell is behind those doors?
"Good to see you," the bouncer said and slapped Mason on the back. "It's been awhile."
"Yeah." Mason looked back at me again. "I've been busy." He lowered his eyebrows for a second but then looked away. He seemed sad.
Had he missed coming here? Or was he sad that I didn't trust him? Of course I couldn't trust him. I didn't know what weird stuff was behind those doors. And Mason had introduced Patrick to whatever it was. I wasn't trying to vilify Mason. But I felt nauseous standing there. I didn't care why Patrick had cheated on me anymore. I cared about why Mason was going to cheat on me. Because he would. Maybe not anytime soon, but he would. Maybe I could prevent that. I wanted to be able to give him what he wanted. Because I was falling for him. No matter what I told myself. I could see myself loving him. I could see a future with him. And it terrified me.
I wasn't backing down now. I was here. And I was determined to see what was behind those doors.
"Are we good to go then?" I asked.
The bouncer smiled. "She has a lot to learn." He winked at Mason.
"This isn't a training session," Mason said, and walked past the bouncer.
Training session? I felt even more nauseous. Did Mason bring women here to show them what men wanted? Did he practice with them? How many woman had he actually slept with? I took a deep breath and followed Mason as he opened up the second set of doors.
It wasn't what I expected at all. I stopped in my tracks and looked around. It was just a hallway, but it was beautiful. It reminded me a little of The Plaza Hotel. Everything was painted black but there were gold designs hung on the walls. Everything seemed to shimmer. I could hear music, but all I could see were doors. Tons of doors. And the hallways curved on both sides like it
looped around in a circle.
"Mason, is that you?!"
I turned my head to the sound of a females' voice. A woman in a tight, silvery dress had just come out of one of the rooms.
Mason didn't say anything.
But the woman walked over as quickly as she could in her heels and wrapped her arms around him.
Mason kept his hands to the side, not touching her.
"Mason," she pulled back and put her hands on the collar of his jacket. "Thank you. I owe you." She leaned forward again and whispered something in his ear. Mason's body seemed to stiffen.
I wanted to punch her in her face.
Mason cleared his throat, but the girl didn't let go of his collar. "We need a private room," he said.
"Private?" The girl glanced over at me. "Are you sure?" She trailed her fingers down his abs and stopped at his belt. "I have something new to show you."
He grabbed her wrist so she couldn't unbuckle his belt. "We're just here to observe."
The girl frowned and turned away from him. She opened up a cabinet, but I wasn't interested in what she was doing. I was too busy staring at Mason. He wasn't looking at the girl, but he wasn't looking at me either. Maybe it was a mistake coming here. He seemed tense and upset. I just needed to know what was behind those doors.
The girl slipped a key into Mason's hand. "Room 16. You have my number if you change your mind." She looked at me and winked.
Fuck you.
Mason grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hallway, away from the strangers.
"Did you train her?" I whispered.
Mason didn't say anything. Instead, he stopped in front of a door and slid the key into the lock.
"Mason?"
He sighed. "Yes, I did."
"Did you have sex with her?"
"No." He didn't look like he was lying, but his face was strained. He opened up the door and I followed him in. The walls were the same as the ones in the hall, but the room was more dimly lit. There were leather seats and a coffee table where a bottle of champagne and glasses were sitting. I wanted it to be gross. But it seemed classy somehow. Like this was where rich men went to screw around on their wives. The only thing that gave away where we were was a stripper pole in the middle of the room.
I turned around. Mason was already sitting on the couch. I looked down at his lap. "Did you do other intimate things together?"
"Fuck, Bee. What do you want me to say? I let her suck my dick? Fine. I feel like I'm on trial here."
"Who is she? Where did you even meet?"
He sighed. "She's an ex cheerleader. I met her at a bar. She doesn't mean anything to me. She's just some girl."
Just some girl. Like me? "What did she whisper in your ear?"
"Nothing important."
Oh God, why did I come here? I turned away from him and stared at the opposite side of the room. There was a gold curtain. It must separate us from wherever the music was coming from. Maybe it was a naked band. Like a weird groupie thing?
I wanted to think this place was disgusting and horrible. But it made sense that Patrick had come here. It was fancy. It was better than our small, dingy apartment. It was better than anything I could give him. Better than me. I never wore short, sparkly dresses for him. Maybe I had stopped trying. Maybe Patrick had been right.
"Can we please just go now?" Mason said. "You've seen it."
"How do you get money doing this?"
Mason sighed and ran his hand down his face. "I get a finder's fee for new recruits. The better they are, the more money I get."
"Where do you find women to bring here?"
"Bars. One night stands. I don't know. Why does any of this matter? I haven't done it since we've met."
"And what about the guys you bring here to enjoy these girls you've trained? How do you make money doing that?"
Mason laughed. "My clients pay me to find them the hottest new places. And to make sure their identities are kept safe."
"And your father pays you to take out his new hires?"
"No. I use his new hires as a way to find new clients. My dad doesn't even know about it."
"He doesn't know about your sex ring?"
"It's not a sex ring."
"I don't understand." I sat down next to him, putting enough space between us so that we weren't touching. "Why do you do it?"
Mason opened his mouth, but then closed it again. He leaned back in his seat. "Because I'm good at it."
"Do you like it more than advertising?"
"It's a hobby, not a career."
"That's not what I asked."
"It's just a means to an end. You know I'm trying to start my own ad agency. I need the cash."
"Why, because you're not speaking to your parents?"
"I'm trying to make something of myself, Bee."
"Here?"
"What do you want me to say? That I'm good at fucking? That I know when a girl would be good at this job depending on how skilled she is in bed? That I can tell how loose a woman is by talking to her for less than a minute?" He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm trying. I really am. I haven't been here in weeks."
"I didn't ask you to not come."
"You're right. You didn't." He looked hurt.
"Are you mad at me?"
"Why are we here, Bee?"
"I told you. I wanted to see."
"You know what? Yes. I'm mad at you. We have a good thing. Why are you trying to ruin it?"
"A good thing? All you want me for is sex."
Mason laughed. "Is that really what you think? If I just wanted sex, I'd come here."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
"I'm not Patrick."
"Aren't you just like him though? Didn't he learn about all of this from you?"
"If you're still hung up on him, maybe you should be yelling at him instead of me, Bee."
"I'm over him."
"Clearly you aren't. You didn't want to come here for me. You came here for him."
"Mason, that's not..."
"I don't want to talk about your ex. If you want to see it, then see it." He pointed to the curtain.
"I'm sorry."
He stood up. "You came here to see. I'm not sure what you're waiting for." He walked over to the curtain and pulled it back.
There was a stage in the middle of the circular room. Women in much less than silver dresses were on the stage. Half of them were topless and there were some on stripper poles. And they all had necklaces which held medallions with numbers on them. Two girls were doing a little more than making out at the end of the stage. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Some curtains were open and others closed around the room.
I was pretty sure there weren't couples talking behind the closed curtains like Mason and I were. A girl wearing a silver dress like the one that had greeted Mason walked passed us with a tray in her hand. Maybe you just needed to give blowjobs to get a waitress gig here.
A different woman in a silver dress went up to the two girls making out. She said something to them and they stood up, holding hands and followed the silver dressed woman to one of the rooms with an open curtain. One of the girls straddled the man sitting on the couch before the curtain was closed.
I turned around and looked at Mason. I was surprised to see that he was staring at me instead of the naked woman that were only a few feet away from us.
"They're numbered?" I asked.
"So you can get the one you want."
"That's disgusting."
"They're all clean."
"That' not what I meant." I turned back to look at the stage, but before I did I noticed a box on the wall by the curtain. It looked like a call box outside of an apartment. I lifted my finger. "Is this how you..."
"You really don't want to touch that," Mason said, grabbing my hand before I could push one of the buttons.
I gulped. He immediately dropped my hand and folded his arms across his chest. He was right. Seeing this was enough. I knew what would happen if I sele
cted one of those buttons. Dirty whore sex.
I looked back at the stage. "Which number would you choose?"
Mason sighed. He came over to the curtain and leaned against the wall, but he continued to stare at me. "I'm sick of standing still. I don't want this life anymore. I want you."
"I want you too."
Mason laughed. "No, you don't."
"If we really have a shot at whatever this is, I needed to see this."
"So that you'll resent me? Give me a break." Mason turned his head to the women on the stage. "We both know what you really want to ask me. So just ask it."
He was right. I had to know. "Who would Patrick choose?"
"Number twelve. That's his type."
I looked back at the stage. She had long dark hair. Her skin was perfectly tanned. I wanted her tits to be saggy and for her ass to have stretch marks, but that wasn't the case. She was perfect. And she didn't look anything like me. I ran my thumb along the spot where my engagement ring once was. I wasn't Patrick's type. He liked women like number twelve. Why was he ever even with me? That's why he never looked at me the way Mason did. He wasn't even attracted to me.
"Mason, I'm sorry."
He didn't respond.
I turned around but the room was empty, the door ajar. "Mason?" I ran out of the room and down the hallway. "Mason?!" I yelled as I pushed open the doors.
"I guess it didn't work out for you?" the bouncer said.
"What?"
"You know, if you need more practice..."
I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Excuse me," I said and walked past him and out the front door. Snow had started falling and there was already a coating on the ground. I pulled my jacket tightly around myself. I wasn't expecting to leave here alone. Mason and I had walked here together through Central Park. I had made a huge mistake. I shouldn't have come here. I should have trusted him.
I pulled my phone out of my purse and pressed on his name. I held my phone up to my ear but it went straight to voicemail. Shit. Maybe he had decided to walk home?
I ran across the street and down the steps into the park. The ground was getting sleek in spots, but I couldn't stop running. I needed to catch up to him. I needed to tell him I was sorry.
I didn't care about his past with ex cheerleaders and girls in sparkly dresses. None of that mattered. What mattered was us, right now. And I loved us. I needed to stop thinking the worst would happen when all Mason ever showed me was his best.
