To Clan and Conquer (Clan Beginnings)

by Tracy St. John

  Lidon cocked an eyebrow at him. “Elevate subject one foot above floor, place in vertical ‘X’ formation.”

  The cuffs tugged upward, taking Degorsk with them. He yanked hard against them as they moved him to float before the Nobek, his legs splayed wide, his arms likewise over his head. He couldn’t get free.

  He yelled at Lidon. “Son of a bitch! This is unauthorized use of hover cuffs. I could have you put in the brig.”

  The Nobek seemed unimpressed. “I’m the weapons commander. I authorize my use of them.”

  Degorsk gaped at him. He was simply too confused by the other man’s actions to form a coherent thought.

  Lidon tilted his head and settled his hands on his hips. In a musing voice, he asked, “Now Doctor, what therapy do you usually prescribe for an Imdiko who is incapable of spontaneous emotional release of trauma?”

  A sense of dread crept over Degorsk. Had he been afraid before? Not by half. Real terror made him cold all over.

  He hissed at Lidon. “This is insane. You have no right to do this.”

  Lidon’s lips quivered, as if a grin was trying to break through. “I looked up the medical board’s recommendations in cases similar to yours. Do you know what our esteemed head doctors have to say about the matter?”

  A tremor broke out over Degorsk’s body. He couldn’t stop it, though no doubt Lidon saw every minute shiver. If Lidon did what he planned to do…

  “Of course I know what they recommend. But you’re no doctor! You’re not sanctioned for such a determination!”

  Lidon nodded. “No, but the diagnosis of release reluctance is in your file. So the determination has been made for me.”

  Degorsk unleashed a stream of curses.

  The weapons commander continued as if the flood of profanity hadn’t occurred. “In a typical case, the matter would be left to your Dramok and Nobek to carry out. Lacking those, you would submit yourself to a licensed disciplinarian for a therapeutic beating until you are sufficiently able to rid yourself of grief. Guess what credentials I possess, Degorsk?”

  Degorsk’s insides seemed to shrink in upon themselves, as if trying to find a place to hide. He really was in trouble. As ship’s head disciplinarian, Lidon would also have been cleared for therapeutic punishment. Degorsk was well and truly fucked.

  “I hate you.” He sagged in the cuffs. He was in for it, all right. Had he been presented with a case such as his own, Degorsk would order the very treatment he was about to receive. A therapeutic beating was standard practice for a non-expressive Imdiko, particularly one with ongoing trauma made acute by an aggravating incident. Dealing with a mine full of the dead and dying certainly qualified as an aggravating incident.

  For some of his sensitive breed, there was a tendency to internalize the pain they encountered. Degorsk was one of those Imdikos who didn’t easily allow grief to escape. Instead he held it in and added to it, unable to release it on his own. Unlike fear, which he unloaded under the guise of humor or profanity-spewing anger, Degorsk hid his sorrows from the world.

  His case wasn’t rare. Imdikos were often employed in professions that regularly exposed them to suffering. Many who found it difficult to express their stress routinely scheduled therapeutic beatings from licensed disciplinarians. Physical pain allowed the floodgates to open, letting them rid themselves of emotional agony as well. Degorsk had kept regular therapeutic beating appointments himself before getting involved with Nobek Semlo. Semlo had possessed the proper training and administered Degorsk’s therapy when it became clear they would someday clan.

  It had proven hard for Degorsk to give himself up to discipline after Semlo’s death. The Imdiko knew he needed it. He couldn’t unload the ongoing traumatic stress from losing the Nobek and Dramok Bara otherwise. But it was such an intimate act to surrender himself in that way; to bare his real emotions before another.

  Especially someone like Lidon. Damn the man and his license to wear Degorsk’s ass out.

  Lidon startled him by suddenly planting his lips over Degorsk’s. The Imdiko gasped, which parted his lips. Lidon’s tongue surged inside, tasting of brute male and lust. Not even thinking of what was happening, Degorsk sucked on the raspy, delicious appendage, drinking in the feral flavor of the Nobek.

  His wrap fell from his hips, having been tugged loose. Degorsk moaned into Lidon’s mouth as strong, calloused hands cupped his buttocks and kneaded them. He strained forward to make contact with the Nobek’s body. Lidon moved close so that their fronts touched. The heat of his body and scent of his arousal was a wallop to Degorsk’s senses. His cocks filled, growing heavy and hard. Keening with need, he rubbed against his captor, his pricks straining against the rigidity of Lidon’s crotch.

  “Degorsk,” the Nobek groaned, breaking the kiss. His mouth traveled down, licking a wet trail down to one of Degorsk’s nipples. The Imdiko’s head fell back and he groaned to the ceiling as Lidon flicked the erect button. Delight pulsed from the tasting, arrowing straight down to Degorsk’s already throbbing cocks.

  He wanted Lidon. He had for a long time. The trouble was, he wanted him too much.

  Clawing for a semblance of good sense, Degorsk gasped, “Don’t. We’re military. You can get killed at any moment, and I get left with nothing again.”

  Lidon straightened to look him in the eyes. “I won’t leave you alone, Degorsk.”

  “You can’t promise that.”

  “I promise to do my best to not leave you alone then.”

  Before Degorsk could protest any more, Lidon kissed him again, shutting him up. Scattering his thoughts. Drowning his fears under a wash of pure arousal.

  Lidon’s mouth sealed tightly over his, holding him prisoner for his stroking tongue. At the same time, his hands moved from the cheeks of his ass. One delved into the crack between the mounds, rubbing and teasing his anus with an assured touch. A throb of pleasure sizzled from the base of Degorsk’s spine.

  The other hand moved around to clutch Degorsk’s main cock tightly at the base. The Imdiko’s entire body galvanized with the first firm stroke that went from root to tip. His body jerked helplessly in the restraining cuffs. Lidon stroked back to the base, and molten heat bubbled insistently deep in Degorsk’s gut. His pricks went wet, lubricant bursting from his pores to slicken the hand insistently massaging his primary length. His hips jerked back and forth, forging his cock in and out of that tight, achingly gorgeous grasp.

  Lidon released the kiss and his cock. Stepping back, he eyed Degorsk, his breaths coming in pants. “I think you’re ready for your therapy, Imdiko.”

  Degorsk’s shredded mind knitted back together reluctantly as Lidon pulled a thick hide strap from the back of his belt. As long as the Nobek’s forearm, it sharpened Degorsk’s thoughts. His arousal too, he noted with dismay. Somehow being helpless and awaiting punishment from Lidon was making him harder than ever.

  His cheeks heating in embarrassment, Degorsk asked, “Can we talk about this?”

  “No.” Lidon’s eyes were kind, but the flat tone he used brooked no discussion.

  Degorsk’s head fell forward, his chin resting on his chest. There was no getting out of this. And he had no doubt the coming beating was going to hurt like hell. His inability to let go emotionally was extremely stubborn to crack. He thought maybe Lidon cared too much to let him continue to suffer the way he had been.

  Lidon stepped to one side. His fingertips caressed his ass reverently, as if stroking a holy relic. “That cast hanging in your office does no justice to you. Will you let me fuck it when we’re done with this part?”

  The surge of heat in his pricks made Degorsk gasp. “You owe me a fuck for this humiliation. You’d better make it good, too.”

  Lidon chuckled. Then he stepped back and wound one end of the strap around his hand. Degorsk screwed his eyes shut as tight as he could, trying to force his body to relax. Tensing would only make it worse, and it would be bad enough.

  A loud crack, more earsplitting than thunder, rebounded
against the walls of the tiny room. Degorsk had an instant to think oh fuck before blinding pain blasted across his ass.

  His eyes opened wide, and he yelled. “Shit!”

  He didn’t have even half a second to recover before the next air-shaking crack. His whole body seized with agony.

  When he caught his breath, he screeched, “Damn it, Lidon! That hurts!” He bared his fangs at the other man.

  The Nobek rolled his eyes at Degorsk. “It’s supposed to, you idiot. Stop fighting and let loose.”

  “I can’t!” He couldn’t will a single tear from his eyes though his ass pulsed with torment. And from just two hits.

  “Then it goes on until you can.”

  The strikes came harder and faster, sending blistering fury through Degorsk’s ass. He shrieked and jerked against the cuffs, wishing he could crawl out of his abused flesh. The leather tattooed his ass and thighs, setting him on fire. And yet the sick grief in his heart refused to budge, seeming to burrow even deeper down, refusing to come out. He couldn’t concede to the pain. He simply couldn’t let it go.

  Lidon snarled at him. “Fucking stubborn Imdiko!” While the hand wielding the strap continued to wear him out, the Nobek’s other grabbed Degorsk’s main cock. He flogged the Imdiko’s dick, bringing instant desire to the fore. Degorsk jerked and howled as arousal built almost as painfully as the beating.

  The strikes against his roasting ass stopped and Lidon suddenly chuckled. “Oh, you’re one of those. I had hoped so.”

  A memory surfaced in Degorsk’s mind. It was so vivid it stole his breath. Semlo brutally peppering his ass with knotted flogging tails while Bara masturbated him, insisting he let go … let go…

  Grief stabbed his chest and clotted his throat. No. He couldn’t open himself like that ever again. But the hurt and pleasure were swirling tight, coalescing at the base of his cocks, urging him to let Lidon in.

  A sob shuddered from the ache in his throat. “Don’t … please … Lidon…”

  “It’s all right. Your pain is safe with me, Degorsk.” The voice in his ear, traveling on a warm breath that made the Imdiko shiver.

  Instead of the strap, Lidon paddled Degorsk’s ass with his open palm. The rapid strikes were actually gentle but his butt was so sore and tender from the beginning of the punishment that it hurt just as much as before. At the same time, Lidon stroked his dick hard, making erotic pleasure pool deep in the base of the Imdiko’s groin. Degorsk’s cries were strangled pleas of mingled ecstasy and agony. Desire grew more demanding, needing escape. Rippling bliss surged into his main cock, spilling upward, ready to bolt free.

  Lidon’s thumb brushed over the tip, finding moisture bubbling in a precursor to release. “Uh oh. Not yet, Imdiko.”

  His fist slid down and gripped the base of Degorsk’s cock hard. The mounting pleasure was blocked, held back at just the instant it was ready to let go. Degorsk yelped as realization was denied. He jerked to meet Lidon’s cool gaze with his hectic one.

  “Damn … you … let me … come!”

  Lidon arched an eyebrow. “I don’t think so. You haven’t given me what I want.”

  Degorsk twisted desperately, trying to make that firm grip move so that he could erupt. He needed to come! Right now! But Lidon held him easily, keeping relief at bay while continuing to slap his ass. The torment of the spanking had contorted into something intense, something strangely akin to the brutal pleasure just out of reach.

  It was just like before. Just like when he’d been cared for by two other men, men who knew exactly how to handle him and did it with the same expertise as Lidon did now.

  Pain lanced through his chest again. It was coming out of hiding, barreling through him to join the rest. His ass hurt. His cocks hurt. His heart hurt. Everything hurt and he knew with the other defense stations and colonies going quiet, there was so much more hurt to come. And there was no way he could escape any of it.

  Degorsk screamed, unleashing the anguish that wanted to consume him. Tears poured from his eyes as loss and fear tore him apart. He sobbed and wailed, cursing first the universe for birthing him, and then cursing Bara and Semlo for leaving him so alone. He cursed the unseen enemy who had brought the pain back. He cursed Lidon for making him feel too much again.

  He raged and sobbed until the tears ran dry and the words ran out, leaving his throat sore and his body empty. He sagged like a broken thing in the hover cuffs, unable to summon the strength to hold himself up.

  His face was buried against Lidon’s neck. The Nobek stood in front of him, his arms tight around his back. His hands rubbed up and down, sifting through Degorsk’s long, unbound hair. He said nothing, simply holding Degorsk’s shuddering body against his strong warmth.

  After a little while, when Degorsk’s shaking began to ease, Lidon leaned back. One hand caught the Imdiko’s chin and lifted it so they looked at each other. Lidon dropped a tender kiss on Degorsk’s lips and stroked his cheek.

  “Much better. It’s all right, my Imdiko. You’re all right.”

  Degorsk knew he needed to demand Lidon let him out of the cuffs. He needed to make the Nobek leave. But somehow he couldn’t bring himself to say anything that would take away the comfort of being held by Lidon.

  Instead he settled for, “Like fuck I’m all right. I’m not your Imdiko. I’m nobody’s Imdiko.” He winced at the raw ache of his own words.

  Lidon continued to stare into his eyes, as if he could hypnotize Degorsk into compliance with his wishes. “You could be mine. I’d like you to be.”

  Damn him. Degorsk’s case of the shakes increased again. “Piras would never clan me.” The captain despised him, and Degorsk was no fan of that insulting Dramok anyway.

  Something cold slipped over Lidon’s face. “Then I’ll never clan with Piras.”

  Degorsk stilled to see the truth of it in Lidon’s eyes. The Nobek meant it. Lidon was choosing Degorsk over his longtime lover, a man he’d been with for well over a decade.

  The doctor had known Lidon was serious in his dogged pursuit of him. But to throw aside clanship with a man of Piras’ rank and success? For someone like Degorsk? An Imdiko no one else wanted?

  He shied away from examining the inescapable conclusion that such sacrifice meant. Instead, he brought up another issue that should keep them apart.

  “Lidon, I can’t stay on this destroyer. I can’t keep doing this horror show of men dying all around me, of them dying so badly and having to watch it. After today and all the past hurts it brought back, I know I have no choice but to resign.”

  Lidon stroked his hair. “Few die well, Degorsk. Death is not kind to the majority of us, whether we’re fighting a war or not. Two of my parents succumbed to the blood-thickening Hirmog virus, or would have had my Imdiko father not granted them merciful death by cutting their throats. Before that they suffered greatly, though they lay safe in their beds in their home on Kalquor.”

  Degorsk’s eyes widened to hear of Lidon’s tragedy. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “We do not go gently in our sleep, for the most part. Pain and suffering is our lot. It’s what we do before that makes living worthwhile.”

  The Imdiko understood what Lidon was saying. He too had lost a parent to illness and another through an accident. Their deaths had not been peaceful either, both lingering until death finally granted its release. Still, Degorsk couldn’t help but think he was only asking for more heartache by remaining in the military.

  He told Lidon, “A lot more die at one time when it comes to battle.”

  Lidon tilted his head quizzically. “So why are you still here? Why did you not resign after Delfy?”

  Degorsk sighed and let his forehead rest on the Nobek’s shoulder. “I thought it would honor my would-be clan to continue on. I hoped it would keep their spirits close to me. But all I feel is pain and fear that I’ll lose someone I care about again. I don’t know what I should do anymore.”

  “‘When the answers don’t come, you must find the q
uiet in your heart. That is where you will find the solutions you seek.’”

  Degorsk found a smile. “Another great quote from the Book of Life. Can we fuck now?”

  Lidon chuckled. “Absolutely.”

  Degorsk lifted his face to Lidon’s to enjoy his kiss. The feeling of the Nobek’s tongue stroking his brought his diminished erections roaring back. The pulsing hot pain of his beaten ass reasserted itself, adding to the excitement. He did have a Nobek-like masochistic streak that made pain an erotic element — when administered by the right man. When Lidon’s firm hand gripped his aching ass, Degorsk arched in equal parts desire and torment. He hoped Lidon would keep him suspended helpless in the cuffs. Being at his punisher’s mercy had him throbbing with need.

  Degorsk was letting himself succumb to the delightful seduction of Lidon’s deep kisses and painfully groping hands when his door announce went off. Lidon pulled his mouth free of his. The Imdiko snarled at the closed door. He was definitely sending off the unwelcome visitor.

  “Don’t you dare answer that,” he growled at Lidon.

  “Were you expecting someone?”

  Degorsk shook his head adamantly. “Fuck, no. Ignore it.”

  Lidon’s brow arched. “I wonder — who calls?”

  A much-too familiar voice came over the com. “Tranis. Lidon, is that you?”

  Lidon’s look at Degorsk was calculating, and the Imdiko knew what he was going to do. He opened his mouth to protest but was too late. “Enter,” the Nobek called.

  “Damn it, Lidon!” Degorsk jerked against the cuffs holding him prisoner, wishing he could punch the other man.

  Lidon only grinned at him as the door opened and Tranis stared at them from the opening.

  Terrific. Degorsk was suspended in hovercuffs, naked, and fiercely erect. The strap that Lidon had wielded was on the floor in plain sight.

  Could things get any more humiliating?

  He scowled at the stunned first officer. “Well, don’t just stand there, waiting for every crewmember to come down the hall and see me like this. Come in and close the damned door.”