Intelligence Block

by Kit Falbo

  Five years as an old man, I more than just thought on ideas of becoming young again I designed, worked and built. It starts from the top of Lily’s head, her hair turns into a beautiful auburn, and her skin flushes with more life. The black of her dress flakes away to turn into a vibrant thing of succulents and flowers. The ground transforms as the effect goes away from her feet, a ring of bright green and blooming flowers. A few flowers even appear in the lion's mane.

  The ring expands throughout the grove, finally touching Mistress Mink as she gets back onto her feet. The age effects applied to her are ripped away getting replaced by something better. I did my best to make sure that she’ll look prettier, younger, fresher. Effects like a little extra curl to her hair, more vibrant skin along with blushing cheeks, and a perkier body are shown off. It’s not real. I hope it buys enough forgiveness that she doesn’t try to kill Lily’s and possibly my careers.

  Both girls rise up and slowly spin about, as a glowing platform appears in the middle of the Grove, a gentle breeze places them on it. Mistress Mink takes it in stride. I’m not sure if Lily is subvocalizing to her directly, letting the UI handle it, or Mink naturally knows what to do. They kiss cheeks and wave to all the fans.

  I wait patiently at my spot. The platform lowers, and the girls hug and walk my way. A static hiss hits my ears as they step near me. It’s a tell-tale sign of sound blocking tech. Cameras are still on us, so the smile stays on Mistress Minks face. “If you ever do something like that again dearie, I’ll hide you in a small box and make sure you are never found. And you…” She looks to me, and I try to give her my best shocked face. “B-ranked tech with no past. I don’t know how you fit into this, but assume that whatever she does, I’ll hold you responsible for. “

  The sound is suddenly normal around me, and I watch as Mistress Mink walks away, leaving Lily and me standing there. “Enemy for life.” I say.

  Lily gives her a few more feet of distance. “I won!” she squeals jumping up and down. “You see that. One, two and the champ goes down.”

  “You should have lost, and that trick won’t work again. Even if someone has vanity issues, they’ll prepare themselves for such a trick.”

  Lily grabs my arm. “Spoilsport. Let’s go home and celebrate.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  My girlfriend's obsession finished. We focus on mine. The first thing I do is create a hardened, secure tablet. It’s old fashioned, clunky, and inaccessible to any device except thought one hidden port, if I need too. I add simple code, image, and video analysis programs. A UI could access the interface through a physical body. I just didn’t want them rooting through the program's code like running my fingers through a pile of sand. Tess finds this whole project vaguely insulting. I take my archived fan mail and transfer the Joontal stake burning to it.

  I may have my picture in the crapper, but I’m still not an actual member of the ZarZura club. Lily gets me in so I can talk to Mouse. “Why do you even want it?” He asks, his eyes staring at me from under his impressive eyebrows.

  I’m not sure what to say. It’s one thing to have crazy ideas. It is another thing to let someone else know you have crazy ideas. This one is eccentric even for an AMU member. My theory of being targeted by a frat or secret society, simply rated close to impossible odds instead of Tess’s response of you are stupid on this one. “It’s for a project. I’m willing to pay.”

  As prestigious as being a professor is, it turns out that they could do with making a little more. Twelve hours later, I have the video of Maestro Mannis and my paranoid ideas to entertain me. I use all the programs I installed and well no they didn’t confirm for me that the same person or UI did them, neither did they say with absolute certainty that they were not. I’m not an expert though, that is one of the reasons why I have UI. I jab at the hard interface with my finger.

  “Vee carevul vou might break vour finger.” Dimi comments from his side of our room. Three days of banging my head into this problem and Lily suggested we take a break until I get over this. So more time with real college life at the dorms.

  I am that stupid. To Dimi, UIs are merely computers. He has one but has also restricted its abilities so that it only responds to direct questions. His said that if he wanted a machine to talk back and plan his day, it would have to buy him dinner first. The question I should be asking is if any humans agree with the UI. “Hey Dimi, can you look at these clips?”

  “Sure.” I get the clips cued up to play together. “Evveww!” He says at the proper time. “Vhy vou show me that?”

  “You think the same person could have made that or there is a chance it is the same person?”

  “Of course.” He responds tossing the tablet back to me.

  “And if a UI told you that it definitely not the same person that made these?

  “I vould throw it in the trash and buy a new one. Vou’re being crazy Talos.”

  Tess does a high pitched squealing protest in my ear, at even the idea of that. I have to subvocalize. “I’m not going to trash you. You may not believe me, but something is going on here.”

  So I find myself at Spectrum Images, that has the only A-ranked imaging expert on the planet according to the AMU. It is a quick flight away in the capital, and as I told Tess and Belle, it is my money to waste. They grudgingly admit that the show featuring Wizard Joontal is making even more than they expected and this is still cheaper than designer drugs or luxury ships some stars spend their money on.

  “Hi, I have an appointment with Remy Bixley.” I hand secretary behind the front desk an anonymous Id card. I'm paranoid again, in that I don’t want my paranoid fantasies connected to my real name. I look like a middle-aged man in a nice suit. Anonymous transactions like this are unusual, but as long as the money is good and you are not doing anything actually illegal, no one complains. It is the type of thing that is more common for people to set up before seeing relaxation specialists like Lady Mallory and not imaging experts.

  I have the tablet and a separate smaller drive with additional copies of the files. Bixley’s tiny office is neat and orderly with white furniture and walls, only pictures that move like windows to fantastical worlds show the other side of the man and a glimpse at some of his business. “Do you have a name?” He asks.

  “Not today. I have some unique requests.”

  Remy holds up a hand. “I will not be a part of anything immoral or illegal.”

  His implication flusters me. I don’t know what he has been asked to do in the past, or thinks I might be planning. “I just want you to give me your impressions on two videos. I would also like an analysis of them without the use of a UI at first.“

  “I can assure you we have some of the most advanced UI on the planet, who are experts at what they do working for this company.”

  “I will gladly take their opinion after you give me yours and without a UI assisting you.”

  “It will take longer. Show me the clips.”

  I turn the tablet to face him and play the clips. The magicians tied to the stakes twitch and fight their bonds. He doesn’t even react when it gets to the gruesome part. I think he was expecting worse. “Initial thoughts, do you think the same person or UI could have made these?”

  He shrugs. “They do look pretty similar. I’ll have to look at them closer, and without a UI it could take longer.”

  No shock there, only took my UIs a few minutes to decide on them. “How much longer?”

  Remy Bixley sits back in his chair, thinking or talking to his UI. “The clips aren’t very long. Maybe only a couple of hours, though my services are booked up.”

  I sigh. “How much to do it now and get back to me today?” Today is my free day, and I would have rather been spending it with Lily or doing a Magic Battle.

  He lists a number. It is large and obviously designed to dissuade me of my strange request. “You can cover it.” Tess tells me.

  “Done. I can wait at the front while you work.” Waiting isn’t that bad. You ca
n play games, get caught up on messages, or in my case look through my notes on dealing with my latest obsession. This meeting is just one more spot to fill in the file I’m building. I can’t help but mutter, ”What the fuck have I stumbled into?” quietly under my breath as I process it all.

  The secretary taps me on my shoulder. “He’s ready for you.”

  Remy is happier when I see him, I suspect because of the large amount of money I just paid him. “Come, sit down. My biggest issue with the two clips is that they have fifty-seven years between when they were created. Both have been meticulously stripped of identifying tags, markers, bits of code, sometimes artists like this leave a signature. There is also the obvious visual similarities between the two. The fact that both give me very little information tells me that I think there is a greater than fifty percent chance that either the same thing made these or someone closely linked. “

  That matched some of my theories, but I’m not an expert. “Now what does your UI think?”

  “Gladis please analyze the two videos and tell me how linked they are.”

  A ball rises out of the desk. It glows with a conventional processing request light. “There is no connection between the two clips. The same person did not make them.” Gladis states with certainty in an older woman's voice.

  Remy rubs his chin. “I guess I missed something.”

  I shake my head. “I’ve had many UIs look at the clips, and each and everyone says the same thing. I know UIs are useful, but you are an expert. I'm not, and I can see how much the clips are alike. I’ve had UI look at other clips some made by the same person but different styles, some in similar styles, but different people. The UI might tell me that it is unlikely, but they’ve never told me there is no connection and that the images are not the same with such certainty.”

  Remy’s brow furrows. “So you think someone made these specifically to fool UIs?”

  I’d considered that, but that makes even less sense. “Do you think you can do that, make a set of images that look as similar as these do and have UI think they are not connected?”

  He sits there thinking, and I assume arguing with his UI. My similar experiences make me feel for him, but they are also one of the main reasons why I’m in this mess. It’s a long wait before he speaks to me again.“I don’t know. I think it might have more to do with UIs than the actual image. I’m willing to try.”

  “I think I got what I need. I’m not going to pay for anything else.”

  Remy shifts uncomfortably in his seat. I think wrestling with some of the same thoughts I have had. “I think I will try. It’s just something I need to know. If you check in on me in a few months, I might have more information for you.” He hands me a data chip. “The results of My and the company’s UI analysis.” I thank him and walk out, already knowing what I need to do next.

  Back at my base of operations, I stare at the three factory-sealed UI modules I had acquired. I’d gotten these because they won’t update or download information until you begin the bonding process. They were produced by different inhabited worlds that stretch across where humanity lives. They even claim to have different base coding. Kind of like how starships advertise various features and engines when ultimately their job is to get you from point A to point B and the technology is pretty much the same no matter the ship. One is the newest model, one is ten years old, and one is twenty-five years old and was released before I was born. Whatever is causing this bug, it would make the most sense if it came from a virus or some universal update.

  I’m hesitating, and I know it. It’s not that I’m unwilling or unable to modify UI or even destroy them. Tess raised me. I helped rebuild Muninn from scrap. I purchased Booker when I needed more help and for how I felt I should run my job. There are always groups of people who are against that, those who are just anti-tech. Or those that attribute UI to being modern slaves. I think of them like people mostly. Being honest with myself, I’ve interacted with them more than I have living human beings, and mine are mine, and I care for them like people do their pets at the very least. I guess that is why this whole situation right now bothers me, this blindness, this bug that is affecting mine. It’s selfish, I know, but I need to use that selfishness to push me to do what I need to.

  I hook an external interface to each of the sealed UI verifying they’ve had no updates since being manufactured. I set the settings not to receive updates and not access databases like Belle had done with her activation to get more information for peak performance and bonding with me. I take the newest one, a mirrored cube, into the safety room and shiver a little remembering when I had to activate one with me inside. I boot it up. ”Greetings Sir. I am required to inform you that I would better serve you if I had access to external databases and updates. My name is 456A27b. How may I serve you?” The voice is metallic, genderless, and has a hint of confusion in it.

  “I’m going to show you two clips, and I want you to tell me how alike they are, and how likely it is the same person made them.”

  With no upgrades or information, it takes longer. “The clips are not alike. There is zero point zero chance the same person made them.” There is that same certainty that I hear from Tess when she assures me my brain and eyes are playing a trick on me, as well as from every other UI I’ve had look at it.

  “Shit.” I mutter and shut it down. I go out to exchange it with the next one. Lily arrives and watches me as I finish my work shutting off the twenty-five-year-old UI. She raises an eyebrow at me as I exit the safety room. “It’s in the base code. I don’t know how far back it goes.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  What’s suffered most in this process is my school work. Soon I’m buried in messages on late projects, unfinished work, and approaching tests. For two days straight I’ve dug into the work I’d been assigned, even now it is just starting to get dark out. “Belle, isn’t it your job to help me with this?”

  She laughs in a musical and amused laugh at my frustrations. “You’re smart. You’ll figure it out. Not like you need any of this anyway, I’ve seen your AMU ranks. Graduate students would even dream of getting ratings like those. Do you need the degree for a different career?”

  “Well, no.”

  “Then as your education advisor, I’m here to tell you that you technically don’t need to do any of this.”

  Pride. The fact that I am paying money for this. It’s the only reason I bought Belle in the first place. Mostly it’s a welcome distraction from my other problems. Lily went from amused to worried about me and worked alongside Tess to make sure I’m eating right and exercising. Now she is as concerned as I am, once she grasped the problem and agreed with me. Most experts will think I’m crazy, and if I do convince them, they’ll hit some kind of panic button. Before I decide what to do, I need more research.

  A crash breaks me out of my thoughts. “Vily!” Dimi declares from his side of the room. My girlfriend is standing in the doorway to my dorm that she’d just slammed open. Did I forget a meetup? Belle should have reminded me if anything was planned.

  She points at me. “You and me we’re going on a date. All this work and no fun, is wearing you out.” I could point out it’s my lack of school work that has gotten me in this situation, but I know that isn’t what she is talking about.

  Dimi pulls me out of my bed and shoves me in Lily’s direction. “Vou don’t keep a lady vaiting!”

  Lily grabs me and pulls me the rest of the way out of my room. I’m not dressed. Shirtless, in purple boxers patterned with wands that have stars at the tips. Belle manages to slip out with me, a flying book at my side. Tess is with Lily, acting like her purse, while Booker in his red fox form sits on her shoulders. Even with my current UI conundrum, having their familiar forms nearby help me not feel completely naked. Also, always expect the unexpected. “Whats…”

  “As I said, you need some fun.” Lily starts pulling me out of the dorm while ignoring my lack of appropriateness.

  “But…”

&nbs
p; “One more day of school work won’t make you any more ready for your tests than you are now. From what I understand about the other problem, is that as scary as it is conceptually, the issue has been around since at least before we were both born, and isn’t going anywhere. So I refuse to worry about it for at least a day.”

  “Clothes…”

  “I think you look perfectly handsome the way you are. But yes, I have a change for you in the car.”

  I take a deep breath, not to complain again, but to let myself accept it. Life is a cross between planning out everything in the littlest detail and rolling with the unexpected. Be it battles of magic, performing for birthday parties, or grabbed by your girlfriend for an impromptu date. I’m surprised she hasn’t subjected me to worse than this, considering some of the things Wizard Joontal had done to his apprentice.

  The thing looked more like a solid-gold luxury bus than a car. The door slides automatically open, and we pile inside. A techno-fiber tuxedo is inside. It is specially designed to make accessing magic tricks more manageable, and with the proper adjustments can work with almost any effect. It’s expensive and trendy for performers. I do a little grunt of relief to see my gear and body armor here as well. “So where are we going?”

  “That would spoil the surprise.”

  I subvocalize to Tess. “Where are we going?”

  “I’m not ruining the surprise either, and didn’t I teach you better than this?” She replies through my earpiece. She tried to teach me better than this, but if I remember correctly, I still tried to figure out Uncle’s big birthday surprise present every year. It was one of the few days he always booked off and participated as family.