A Country Christmas

by Lilliana Rose

  “I have to be honest with you…” Zoe put on a slightly serious face. “… there’s no hope. They’ve already made suggestions on how to decorate the baby’s room and you’ll find out I have no doubt.”

  “I must say—”

  Zoe put her finger on his lips and silenced him. “You weren’t here.”

  Her words cut deeply. I wasn’t. I was trying to give you a surprise. He still was trying.

  It was taking all of his self-control not to tell her right now. He wanted it to be a surprise when she got back to the farm. And the cattle were still to be sold, and he wanted to give her a solid figure of how much she had to spend.

  Maybe this is the price I pay for the surprise.

  He was disappointed not to have been with her. But then the cattle could’ve been sold a day later, or a week later, or next month even. The satellite dish could’ve waited, in all honesty.

  I have to readjust my expectations. This was something he didn’t do well. But he had to. For the sake of the baby, and for Zoe.

  “Tell me.”

  “We are having a baby girl.”

  He grinned. The words that squeezed his heart was ‘we are.’ He felt even more connected with Zoe than ever before.

  Max kissed her. “I’m so glad we are.”

  “Look.” Zoe handed him the photo she’d been looking at. “Our first baby picture.”

  “She’s beautiful.”

  “You can make out her face… just.” Zoe pointed to the image.

  He could see it. Their baby. He was going to be a dad. His stomach roiled. What sort of dad was he going to be if he was too busy working on the farm?

  “We need to come up with some names for a baby girl,” said Zoe.

  “You’ve got a few suggestions?”

  Zoe nodded, grinning secretively at him. She glowed. What people said about pregnant women blossoming was true. Instead of being annoyed. He’d missed seeing the baby for the first time with Zoe, but her happiness was infectious. If he was going to be frustrated with anyone, he knew that person had to be himself. It wasn’t going to be as simple as Zoe moving in, giving her some money to do up the house and the room for the baby, he needed to change too.

  Max sat on the bed, next to Zoe, stretched his legs out over the top of the sheets. She snuggled into him, her head resting on his chest. He put his right arm around Zoe, and held her close, while they looked at the photo.

  “Do you think the name Isla might suit her?” asked Max. “

  “Not close to what I was thinking, but I like it.”

  “I do, too. I saw it once in my family tree. I think it was my great, great, great, great, grandma’s name.”

  “I’ll add it to the list.”

  “And where are you keeping that list?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Somewhere reliable, I hope.”

  “Of course.” She pretended to look surprised. “In my head, it’s a very reliable place.”

  He chuckled softly. “What’s your top name.”

  “Harper.”

  “You’ve been thinking of names then?”

  “I had to do something to pass the time.”

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” Max felt like he’d be apologizing for the next few months over this one.

  “That’s fine. I know there will be times when you have to do things on the farm.”

  “Not when I’m going to miss out.”

  “I didn’t plan for everyone to find out.”

  “I’ll just have to be around more.” He believed her. “I like the name Harper by the way.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.” The change in the tone of her voice set him on edge.

  “How do you cope with being on the farm by yourself for so long?”

  He shrugged. “It’s the only life I’ve known, I guess.”

  “That’s all?”

  Max rubbed his chin with his left hand. “I have a lot of jobs to do, I think that helps. And when I feel lonely then I go into Burra and see my mates.” He could guess why she was asking.

  “You know you can invite your friends Ellie and Billie over to stay. I think Billie might be doing a shearing run, up at Burra in late January, maybe she can stay then?”

  “I’ll ask her.” She glanced up at him. “You think you’ll cope with two women in the house?”

  “If not, I’ll go into town and see my friends and stay the night.” He kissed her forehead, enjoying how she leaned into him.

  “You’re not feeling too lonely?”

  She exhaled heavily.

  He sensed there was a lot of emotion behind her sigh. “You’ll get to know some of the locals more.”

  “How?”

  This was something he needed to ask his mom or sister. For him it was a bit different because of the farm. “Maybe we can go to the pub for a meal more often.”

  “I think I need to do more than that.”

  “You have a baby to grow first.”

  “I can multi-task, you know?”

  “Okay, well… I don’t know what else to suggest. I know you’ll figure something out. Don’t you have some legal research to do?”

  “There’s been a little work, but it’s slowing down in the lead up to Christmas. And I’m worried there won’t be much work next year.”

  “Don’t worry about next year, it will take care of itself.” He mused at what he’d just said. It was something his dad used to say to him. Maybe Zoe and I are more suited to each other than we realized.

  “There’s a lot to do for Christmas first,” added Max.

  “On that note…”

  Max had a sudden awareness that there had been a lot of planning today between his mom and Leanne. “Don’t tell me, it’s all be organized between our moms.”

  “Something like that. The lunch got a bit heated.”

  “Is that what caused you to end up in the hospital?” He braced himself. If needed he would talk to his mom and tell her to give Zoe some space.

  “I like to think not. It’s all fine now. Everyone is learning to get along.”

  “I’ll chat with mom, if you want me to.”

  Zoe shook her head. “They’ve agreed about what to cook for the family meal on Christmas day.”

  “That’s a miracle in itself.” Max couldn’t help berating himself for not being there today for Zoe. I’ll do better.

  “It was.”

  “Sounds like you handled the situation well.”

  “I want to make sure that you’re fine with the arrangement for Christmas, too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s the first big event for us as a couple. I want us to decide on what we want.”

  Max hadn’t thought about this Christmas like that. He’d been more focussed on trying to make Zoe comfortable, and even then, he might’ve missed the mark. He didn’t like the fact that she was feeling lonely on the farm. If Ellie or Billie could come and visit her even for a few days, he was sure that would help. Both were farm girls and used to the wide-open spaces and life on a farm.

  “I want whatever will make you happy.” She’d given up her life in the city to come and live with him, and he wanted to accommodate her to make up for how much she’d given up. She’d resigned from her job, moved away from her family and friends, it was the least he could do.

  “What would make me happy is both of us deciding on what we want for Christmas. It’s our first Christmas together, and I want it to be special.”

  “It will be.” He squeezed her closer to him.

  “Max.”

  He paused, hearing his name in that tone made him realize he wasn’t listening to her. “Having you with me is my priority for Christmas,” he said softly, finally allowing himself to voice what he wanted. “Maybe breakfast together, just us, then my family and your family can come over. But that would be hard if your family is staying with us, which they can by the way.”

  Zoe looked at him and grinned.

  “I gave t
he right answer?” He’d been speaking from his heart.

  She rolled her eyes. “Max, there’s no right or wrong answer. I want to discuss this with you, so it’s our decision.”

  His stomach flipped at the thought.

  Our decision.

  They were a couple.

  Ordinarily they would’ve decided together on when starting a family, but they had jumped ahead on that one. They had decided on living together and seeing how things went. He guessed this was the next decision they needed to make together.

  “I like the sound of breakfast together on Christmas Day, but I would like my parents to stay with us.”

  “Hmmm… maybe they could stay with my mom for a few days, then come to the farm Christmas Day.”

  “That might work.”

  “I feel you’re going to say a but.”

  “But the food needs to be started early.”

  “Easily fixed. How about we have an early breakfast?”

  “No sleep in?”

  “Sleep in and no breakfast, or no sleep in and an early breakfast.”

  “Tough decisions.” She grinned. “Let’s sleep in.”

  “So, let your parents stay with us then?”

  “Yes. We can have breakfast together any day.” Zoe settled back down on his chest, trying to suppress a yawn.

  “You should get some sleep.”

  “Hmmm… I will. Now you’re here.”

  Max kissed her gently on the top of her head. “Sweet dreams.”

  Things were going to have to change big time, and it was him that was going to have to make the adjustments. It was going to need to be more than making sure there was money and the internet connection. He took a deep breath, trying to settle the rising concern he was feeling.

  Zoe began to feel heavier next to him on the bed as she fell asleep. The blurry image in his mind, kept him awake. Thinking. Wondering. Trying to make some plans that would mean he would be around for Zoe and their baby girl.

  It was challenging to think of what to do when he had no idea what to expect with a baby on the way.

  Thursday 5th December

  “I can’t wait to come up to see you at Christmas,” said her mom.

  Her mom and dad had met them for brunch after Zoe had been discharged from the hospital. Max was driving her back to Greenfields today. The ute was packed, full of new outfits for her to wear, nothing flash but all very practical, and she was happy about that. There were also a few things for the baby, each grandma-to-be couldn’t resist buying. Helen and Kate had gone back to the Burra yesterday, so they could take care of the few jobs at the farm until Max and Zoe arrived. Zoe was so glad she’d been given the all-clear this morning to go home. She couldn’t believe how much she was thinking Greenfields was now her home.

  “Me, too,” Zoe gave her mom a long hug goodbye.

  “You take care,” said her dad, joining in the family hug.

  “Of course.” She wasn’t sure why people kept saying that to her. She didn’t do much in her day compared to when working as a legal secretary, and it was starting to drive her a bit crazy having so much spare time. It didn’t help with the thoughts, or with the emotions. She been given medication for her low blood pressure, and had a series of follow up appointments with the doctors at Burra over Christmas and the New Year, and then she was going to be coming back next Thursday to the Women’s and Children’s Hospital to see Dr. Khatri, who was now taking charge of the medical side of her pregnancy. Zoe was trying to see the positive side of having to come to Adelaide each month until the baby was born. At least, she’d get to see her parents more, and some of her friends.

  I won’t be feeling so lonely then.

  Zoe was glad she’d spoken to Max about how she was feeling. He had jobs to keep him busy all day. Decorating the baby’s room would keep her occupied for only so long. With the help of her mom, Helen and Kate, she knew the basics had been covered. Zoe needed something else, and her mom’s words to find a hobby kept circling in her mind.

  What sort of hobby could she do? Knitting wasn’t her thing, or painting or drawing. She liked to read books but did enough of that already. Hiking wasn’t her style either. She couldn’t go horse riding. She needed something more dynamic but had no idea of what that could be.

  “I’ll see you in a few weeks.” She got into the ute, and Max closed the door for her.

  “I’m so glad we got to meet you again,” said her mom as she hugged him good-bye.

  “You’re going to see me a lot more, you know,” said Max.

  “And we’re very happy about that.”

  Zoe raised her eyebrows. She’d quizzed Max to see if her mom had decided to talk to him about not initially coming down to Adelaide with her. He assured her she hadn’t. Zoe wasn’t so sure.

  Max turned and shook her dad’s hand. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Take good care of my daughter and granddaughter.”

  “Of course.”

  Max got into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

  Zoe extended her hand out of the open window and waved as the car pulled away. Her eyes watered, but this time she let the tears fall.

  Zoe smiled as the ute turned into the driveway for Greenfields. Home. It was as if being away for a few days, and returning now, caused her to see the farm for the first time.

  Soft rolling hills surrounded them, making a nice change from viewing flat land for the last few hours. A few eucalyptus and tea-trees lined either side of the driveway. The grass brown already from the start of summer, the dry land showing its own unique beauty. The old house, built by Max’s ancestors, stood proudly on a rise, as if waiting for them.

  Surrounded by a brick fence on one side, and a corrugated iron fence on the other sides, the boundaries of home were clearly defined. It had a metal roof, angular to let the rain runoff into the gutters to be collected in their water tanks, which were huge and on the other side of the house. She hoped to be able to hear the rain falling on it come winter. The house was large, four bedrooms to house growing families. The thought caused her to place her hand on her belly, to which she was rewarded with a flutter from baby.

  A few old corrugated iron sheds came into view beyond the house. Some of them housed farm machinery, the others simply held the tools of Max’s father, and grandfather, even great grandfather, in a mess of dust and cobwebs. She’d only poked her head to see once, sneezed, then left not interested in exploring the shadows within. Now, her curiosity spiked. She might like to have a closer look in the sheds, to explore and learn more about Max’s heritage. She was going to have the time.

  The doctor had made it clear she needed to rest. A lot. She didn’t tell the doctor she wasn’t that sort of person. She figured that looking through the sheds wouldn’t be taxing on her or put the baby in any sort of danger.

  In between them was the hen house, the black hens were out scratching around in the dry dirt finding seeds to eat. To the right was the dog kennels, but she was too far away to see if Snipper was there.

  A big ghost gum stood outside of the house yard, momentarily blocking the view of the house as they approached. Its old branches stretched out providing shade to the side of the house. A wide trunk, ghostly gray in color, offered a sense of stability.

  Zoe wound down the window, letting the hot afternoon air into the ute. She breathed in, enjoying the fresh country air. A mix of earthiness, animals, and the fresh scent of eucalyptus filled her lungs. It felt good. Right. To be here, with Max, a subtle reassurance she hadn’t thought she’d needed.

  Max drove slowly around the ghost gum, to the back of the house, stopping by the gate of the house yard. “Glad to be back,” Max glanced at her.

  “To be home with you, yes.” She smiled at him, reached out and placed a hand on his leg, his body warmth seeping into her palm in a comforting sensation. They may have left separately, but they were coming home together.

  “I’m glad you think this is your home.” His grin was broad,
causing his eyes to sparkle.

  Bluey ran out to greet them, his tail wagging madly.

  “Now that’s a good welcome,” said Zoe laughing at how excited the dog was to see them.

  “Hey, what’s that on the roof?” Zoe pointed as Max unbuckled his seat belt.

  He turned and grinned at her.

  “Oh, is that’s why you couldn’t come with me to Adelaide? You were putting up the satellite dish?” It was starting to make a bit more sense now. She’d thought Max wanted to commit to her and their baby, but the doubt had grown with him not coming with her to Adelaide whether she wanted to admit that or not.

  “And something else.”

  Zoe looked at him curious to hear what he had to say. She couldn’t think what it might be that he’d been working on.

  “And here I thought you were just working hard out on the farm.”

  “I am.” He grinned. “I sold a herd of cattle. I received the call today, and I got a great price considering it’s right before Christmas and the market has been low.”

  “That is great news.” She knew they needed the money with the baby on the way, and now extra trips to Adelaide to see her obstetrician things were going to get expensive very quickly.

  “The money is for you.”

  “Thanks, but I don’t mind making do, your house is more than functional as it is. And I only need some paint for the baby’s room. Mom’s getting new curtains made, and your mom is buying new carpet.” Honestly, they needed to spend money on other things—renovating the house was a luxury they couldn’t afford right now.

  “I don’t want you to make do.”

  “How much is a herd of cattle worth?”

  “It was only a small herd.” He moved restlessly in the ute seat as if getting irritated with the discussion they were having.

  “Paint doesn’t cost that much,” Zoe said softly. “I’m very good with money, I can make it go further with some careful planning.”

  “It will be over twenty grand.”

  Shit. Her eyes widened as her breath caught in her throat. That was a lot of money.

  “For what?” she managed to ask when she found her voice. They didn’t need a nursery that was going to cost that amount of money.