Fix Me

by Aubry, A

  “Okay. We have to communicate better. If you don’t feel like I’m paying attention to you, or you think I’m neglecting you in any way, you have to tell me right away. Don’t let it sit there and simmer until it goes bad.”

  “I can do that,” he said instantly.

  “Next, at least once a week, we have a date night. Whether it’s going to dinner, going out to see a movie, or just go do something else fun. It is our time together, no Leo, nobody else, just us.”

  “And every other night that I’m home?”

  I shifted closer to him, “We put Leo to bed and cuddle on the couch to watch television or a movie. Then, we come up here…and we show one another how much we love each other.”

  “I think I can get behind that,” he smiled.

  “I think you can get behind a lot of things,” I teased.

  “I’ve only got my mind on one thing I wanna be behind,” he raised an eyebrow.

  “Oh, really? Do tell.”

  He flipped me over to face away from him, my back to his front, “I can show you better than I can tell you.”

  Oh, show and tell.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Leo squealed angrily from his high chair. I apparently wasn’t cutting up his banana slices quick enough to feed his hungry belly. It wasn’t my fault that he devoured the dissolving baby snacks I gave him to hold him over until I got these all chopped up.

  Leo was just about to turn eight months old. Finn had been moved back in with us for almost two months and everything was back to how it was right after Leo was born. Except for the fact that Leo was now crawling and getting into everything.

  “Hey now, Leo, be patient. Mommy is working as fast as she can,” Finn came into the kitchen with his gym bag.

  It was almost time for him to head off to practice for the day. Only two more months of games and then I would have him all to myself. I, on the other hand, was tasked with dropping off our son at the daycare this morning before I had to go to work.

  Finn came over and snaked his arms around my waist as he pressed gentle kisses against my neck. I put down the knife I was using to cut up Leo’s breakfast and leaned back against my husband. My hands ran up and down his arms, my rings in their rightful place on my ring finger, skimming along Finn’s skin.

  “Can we just call in sick today?” He whined into my neck.

  “I wish we could sweetheart, but I have a blog post to write and an article due at the end of the week. The quicker I get it done, the more time in bed I can spend with you in our free time.”

  “Mm, I like the sound of that.”

  I giggled as Leo squealed loudly again.

  I put the small chopped up banana pieces in a bowl and handed it off to Finn, “Go put these in front of your son.”

  As Finn spread out the pieces in front of Leo, I cleaned up and sat up on the countertop after setting the coffee maker to start Finn’s coffee.

  “I’m gonna stop at the store on the way home to pick up some more diapers and wipes for him. You want me to pick anything up for you?” Finn came and stood between my legs, his hands running up and down my thighs.

  “Hmm...maybe some cool ranch Doritos?” I smiled sweetly and put my arms around his neck.

  “You haven’t had those since you were pregnant. Care to share any news with me?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

  Wow, he was right. I hadn’t had any cool ranch Doritos since I was pregnant with Leo. But for some reason I was craving them. I couldn’t have been pregnant though, we had used a condom nearly every time that we have had sex since he’d moved back in. Except for the few times we’d been in the shower…and the night we made up…

  “I’m not pregnant, we’ve been using condoms,” I rolled my eyes at him.

  “95% of the time we have,” he smirked.

  “And whose fault is that mister ‘let’s take our chances’?”

  He laughed as the Keurig beeped that his travel coffee mug was full of his morning brew.

  “I gotta go, long day of practice. Let me know if you want me to grab anything else from the store before I stop there,” he took my face in his hands and kissed me deeply.

  When we came up for air, I felt dizzy with my love for this man.

  I nodded dreamily, “I love you.”

  “I love you more,” he grinned as he twisted on the lid to his travel mug.

  “No, I love you more,” I blushed as I watched him walk over to our son who was enjoying finger feeding himself his breakfast.

  “I’ll let you win this round since I have to go. I’ll see you after work buddy, be good for Mommy and at daycare.” Finn kissed Leo’s chubby cheek.

  Finn started walking to the door that led to the garage.

  “Finn, wait,” I said suddenly.

  He turned around, furrowing his brow and setting down his coffee mug. I ran to him and jumped into his arms, kissing him as passionately as I could. Finn groaned against my lips as he caressed my thighs from underneath my dress. I could feel his touch all through my body. When my phone chimed from the island where I had left it, our kiss finally ended.

  “What was that for?” Finn asked, a large smile on his face.

  “Can’t a woman just kiss her husband goodbye?” I pouted.

  “Damn, I wish I could stay home with you,” he said softly, his eyes meeting mine.

  I unwrapped my legs from his waist and hopped down onto the floor, “Well you can’t. You have to go to work, so get outta here.”

  He gave me one last kiss, “Sassy girl.”

  I winked as I held the door open for him, “Only for you.”

  Finn walked to his car with his bag and climbed in, giving me a quick wave before he backed out of the garage. Closing the door, I checked my phone. A text from Angie let me know we had a staff meeting first thing when we got to the office. I rolled my eyes and went over to get Leo out of his seat. Time to start the work week all over again.

  “Where’s my cinnamon roll?” I asked Angie over the wall of my cubicle.

  I could smell the damn thing the second that I stepped off the elevator. Between getting myself up and ready for work and getting Leo fed and dressed before dropping him off at daycare, all I had time to eat was a banana and I was starving.

  “How the hell did you know I was eating a cinnamon roll?” She asked, looking over the wall that divided us.

  “Uh, I can smell that thing from a mile away,” I rolled my eyes as I dropped my bags onto my desk.

  “You must have some freaky super smelling power because I don’t think anybody else can smell this bunch of gooey goodness,” she laughed as she took another bite.

  I shook my head, “Well you better hurry up and finish that, you know how Larry hates messy foods in the conference room.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” she mumbled through her cinnamon roll.

  Heading into the breakroom, I grabbed a granola bar from our well stocked cabinet and an apple from the fridge. Before I went into the conference room, I stopped back at my desk and took my notebook and pen out of my bag so that I could take notes. Taking my seat in my usual spot, I dug into my apple.

  “Did you eat breakfast?” Angie asked me as she took her place next to me.

  “I ate a banana in between dragging myself out of bed this morning and feeding Leo and getting him dressed. I’m still starving and all I want to do is take a fucking nap,” I looked over at her, taking another bite.

  “Maybe you and your husband should stop having all that late-night sex,” she teased.

  “That’s just the thing, Ang. We aren’t even staying up that late. We watch a movie or catch up on some TV, we head up to bed and have sex and I am still passed out by eleven. Leo is sleeping through the night, so I’m not waking up. But I still feel so tired!”

  “What if you’re pregnant again?”

  “There’s no way, Finn and I have been using condoms.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me, “Every time?”

  I swallowed hard, “95% of the time
?”

  Angie chuckled and brought out her tablet, typing something into Google.

  “Symptoms of early pregnancy may include: fatigue, increased hunger, heightened sense of smell, et cetera, et cetera.”

  “Oh, shit. I might be pregnant again.” My mouth fell slightly agape.

  Angie laughed, “It might be time to buy a test to see.”

  The rest of our staff for our section of the paper piled into the room before we were joined by Larry and our meeting began. I found it hard to focus on the meeting. Was it possible that Finn and I were already going to be expecting baby number two? We just made up a few months ago, were we really ready for that? He’d been amazing with Leo ever since he was born, even when we were separated. The man adored his son, what happened if we brought another baby into our lives?

  After the meeting, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. As soon as my blog post was written up and my article was approved by Larry, I asked if I could run down to the corner pharmacy. I had made up some bullshit story about how I wasn’t feeling well and that I wanted to see if they had any medications that could help me get through the day. When Larry approved, I practically ran back to my desk to get my purse before heading out the door. Without hesitation, I bought the same exact pregnancy test that I had bought when I found out I was pregnant with Leo. It would tell me just how far along I was.

  I walked back to work before sneaking into the bathroom, telling Angie to stand outside the door on guard until I was finished. The five-minute wait was grueling as Angie sat with me on the tiled floor of the bathroom. My timer went off and I stood up to look at the test. Sure enough, the screen read ‘Pregnant, 4 weeks’. Staring at the test, I thought back to four weeks before.

  Finn had a home game, and my mom was up visiting. She babysat Leo while I went to the game with Angie to support our men. After the game, we went to the locker room to get them like we always did. I found it odd when Finn wasn’t finished getting ready yet, which forced Angie and Bo to leave without us.

  “Finn, why aren’t you ready yet? You always beat Bo in being ready to head home,” I asked him after Bo and Angie said their goodbyes.

  “Because I have a surprise for you,” he smiled as he took my hand.

  “I’m not playing soccer again, not in this skirt,” I looked at my light pink skirt that swished around when I turned my hips.

  “Just trust me,” Finn led me out of the locker room and back onto the field.

  The stadium was empty, all the staffers finished with their cleaning of the stands, the field maintenance people gone for the day. It felt eerie how quiet it all was now. It was odd after hearing the roar of the crowd around me as the game went on. Finn led me to the alcove with the bleachers for the band when the U of M used the stadium for their games.

  “You’re taking me on a trip down memory lane?” I asked as he led me under the bleachers.

  He turned to face me, pulling me close, “I’m making new memories with you.”

  Our lips connected as he picked me up and laid me down on the cool grass. Finn pushed up my skirt before undoing his jeans, pushing them and his boxers down just far enough for his cock to come out. He moved my panties to the side before pushing his cock into me quickly.

  “Fuck,” I groaned, leaning my head back.

  “That’s right, baby. Let me hear you,” his hands took their place on either side of my head as he began to thrust into me over and over.

  My hand covered my stomach as I looked down at the test again.

  “Surprised your 95% of the time protection didn’t work?” Angie teased as she got up from the floor and came to my side.

  “I don’t know. Part of me wants to jump for joy that we’re pregnant again. The other part is terrified because of the fact that having Leo and Finn’s schedule put a strain on our relationship. What’s going to happen when we have two kids under the age of two?”

  She rubbed my back, “You two are working things out, Jules. Yes you hit a bump in the road, but you made it through. Finn loves you and Leo very much, I’m sure that once it’s time for this baby to come…everything will be perfect.”

  I sighed and hugged my best friend, “Thanks, Ang.”

  Wrapping the test in toilet paper, I stashed it in the garbage before we went back to our cubicles.

  “Now we have to rethink bridesmaids dresses because my matron of honor is going to be ready to pop by the time I get married,” Angie laughed.

  I rolled my eyes and got back to work.

  By the time lunch rolled around, I was practically vibrating with excitement to tell Finn that we were going to have another baby. I had spent the rest of the time between taking the test and now to really lay out my thoughts to myself. We could do this. We made the necessary adjustments in our lives to where we had the perfect balance of spoiling our son with love but also making time for just the two of us. Faking sick, I took off the rest of the day. I picked up Leo from daycare early, claiming he had a doctor appointment, strapped him in his car seat and took off to the National Sports Center where Finn and his team trained and practiced.

  Once the car was parked, I took Leo out of his car seat and put him on my hip. He looked adorable in his ‘soccer star’ onesie that we had gotten as a baby shower gift from one of his teammates and his little blue shorts. His chunky baby legs always made me smile, soon he would be walking, and they would thin out as he grew. But for now, he was my little chunky boy who loved his mommy. I carried him into the center where the security guard, Vincent, stopped me.

  “Hello Julianna. Hello Leo. Are you here to see Finn?” He smiled as he turned down the walkie talkie attached to his hip.

  I tickled Leo’s belly as he tried to put my necklace in his mouth, “Yep, we are going to surprise Daddy. Isn’t that right Leo?”

  Leo squealed as a little drool came out of his mouth. Teething was going to be the death of me with all the drool that he produced.

  “They are inside practicing today because it’s supposed to start storming soon. You need me to show you where that is again?”

  I shook my head, “Nope, I think I remember. Thanks Vincent.”

  We said our goodbyes and I walked down the hallway to the indoor practice field. Leo babbled away as we walked. He was now saying ma-ma-ma and da-da-da more often when he looked at me and Finn, but he hadn’t figured out yet how to just shorten it to mama and dada yet. I peeked through the door and saw the team running a quick play and I waited until the coach blew his whistle before opening the door. Finn was out on the field with Bo and some other guys. Drake and Jordan, two of Finn’s other close friends, were standing on the sidelines with the rest of the team. I came up beside them without them noticing.

  “Damn, did we miss try outs? Oh, well. There’s always next year, Leo.” I sighed dramatically.

  Drake looked over at me and laughed, “What are you doing here?”

  “Oh, you know. Trying to get my son into soccer. College won’t pay for itself,” I teased as I bumped him with my shoulder.

  “Jules!” Finn called out, jogging over to me from the field as other members of his team replaced those who were just on the field.

  “Hey baby,” I smiled and kissed him when he got in front of me.

  Leo reached out for his father who happily took him into his arms and onto his hip, “Hey big guy. You miss daddy?”

  My smile only grew as I watched my two men interact. Leo was pointing his hand at different things in the room, lots of new stimulation for a developing mind. He kept pointing at the goal and Finn would tell him what it was.

  “So what happened to going to work?” Finn’s laugh brought me out of my thoughts.

  “I was there and finished what I had to do. But I wanted to talk to you about something,” I smiled shyly.

  “It couldn’t be done over text?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

  I shook my head, “No, I needed to talk to you about it face to face. And I didn’t want to wait until tonight.”

 
; “Okay, hold on,” Finn replied.

  He handed Leo off to Bo who was now standing by us and led me over to a corner away from where the practice was taking place. His hands took their place on my hips as he pulled me closer.

  “Is this good news or bad news?” He started.

  I bit my lip, “I think it’s good. But I will let you decide.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me, “Okay…what is it?”

  “I’m pregnant again,” I blurted.

  “Wait, you told me you weren’t this morning.”

  “I went to work, and Angie was talking to me about how I could smell her cinnamon bun across the room and I was telling her how tired I was. She Goggled early pregnancy symptoms and I had a lot of them. So, I went to the pharmacy, bought a test, and took it at work. According to the test, I’m four weeks along.”

  “That would mean…”

  “You knocked me up underneath the bleachers of the stadium after that home game? Yes.”

  He laughed and shook his head, “Damn, it’s like one of those high school dramas. Boy takes girl under bleachers, they have sex, girl gets pregnant.”

  I rolled my eyes, “Only this time, boy and girl are married and already have a child together.”

  Finn pulled me tighter against him and kissed me deeply before gazing into my eyes.

  “So, good news?” I asked quietly.

  “Great news. I’m gonna be a father again. I’m going to have two soccer stars.”

  “Hey, it could be a girl,” I whined as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

  “Girls can be soccer stars too. There is a national women’s soccer team, you know. Pretty famous,” he laughed.

  I kissed his lips softly, “As long as he or she is healthy, I don’t care what they do.”

  “I fucking love you,” Finn whispered.

  “I fucking love you more,” I grinned.

  He enveloped me in his arms, hugging me close as he buried his face in my neck. After a few moments of just holding each other, his lips started pressing against my neck. I closed my eyes, a small moan escaping my lips as his teeth grazed my skin. My breathing turned into pants and a dampness was starting to form between my thighs.