by Amy Richie
“Do you remember that first night we were together?” I knew he did; I saw the whole night replay in his head, but I waited for him to speak.
“I do.”
“Do you remember when we talked about the stars?”
“Yes.”
“You told me that they made you feel small.” I tilted my face up to see the tiny bursts of light, visible now through the parting clouds. They seemed so much brighter now, but no closer.
“Do they make you feel small now?”
“Everything does. It’s like…” I let my words trail away. I knew he could hear every one of my thoughts as if they were his own, but he waited while I sorted through them for myself. “It’s like the world just got so much bigger; like it’s swallowing me up.”
“It’s not any bigger, Claudia, you can just see more of it now.”
“I can see everything,” I whispered.
“What do you see?”
I heard his words, I even understood them, but I didn’t answer him. I closed my eyes softly–listening to the sounds of the city. It may have been the middle of the night, but the city was far from sleeping.
“Lady Greene’s three month old son is having a hard time sleeping.”
“Three new teeth.”
“The young maid over at the Sharene’s isn’t sleeping either.”
“Just started seeing the stable man over on 42nd street.”
My eyes popped open and I turned sharply to see him. “How do you know?”
“I listen.”
I caught my bottom lip between my teeth. “How old are you, Marcus?”
“I told you before how old I was.”
“Tell me again.”
“Just over a thousand years.”
My breath caught sharply in my throat, but the cold didn’t burn my chest. “That’s a long time.”
His eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled. “Indeed.”
“What do you notice?”
“I notice everything.”
I forced my breath out so I could watch it freeze in the frigid air. I smiled in wonder at the shapes the streaks of air created. “And does it make you feel small, Marcus?”
“The whole world?” He stopped smiling when he realized that I was serious. “Nah,” he began tracing lines in the light snow built up on the rooftop. “I don’t feel small. I’ve come to terms with what I am.”
“How?”
“I’ve had a lot of time.” I watched his fingers moving along the roof, heard the scraping noise of the snow moving under them.
“I feel lost, like I’m not…me anymore.”
“I guess you’re kind of not–you.”
“Guess not,” I mumbled. I took a deep breath through my nose. “So, how was your…um, hunt?”
“It was good.” His finger continued to make lines in the snow. “There’s a lot of fresh blood in London–on the streets. It’s easy.”
Was he trying to repulse me? Was he trying to make me afraid? “Oh.”
“It is something you get used to. Not all of us live for the thrill of the hunt. Some merely do what we have to do to survive.”
Survival.
That was what my life would be like from now on. I could feel it all the way throughout my body. The word echoed through Marcus’s thoughts. He had been consumed by it for so long.
“Until all of your humanity is gone.”
I heard the words in my head as loudly as if he had spoken them out loud. I didn’t dare look at him. It was hard to see Marcus now through my new eyes. He was no longer the man I had fallen in love with.
There was more to him than ever before. I had always known there was something different about Marcus. When I was only guessing, it had been mysterious and it drew me in with the compulsion to figure him out. Now that I knew he was a monster, I shied away from seeing the real him.
“How many vampires are there in the world?”
“More than you would think,” he took a deep breath. “At the end of the war…”
“What war?”
“The immortal war. The two brothers, Vladimir and Vance, gathered their armies and fought for three months.”
“Were they the first vampires?”
“Sort of. Their guards created all the other vampires– including my family.”
“How many?”
“Thousands.” My mouth fell open in shock. “But by the end of the war, there were less than 500 warriors left alive. Both brothers had fallen as well as one of Vladimir’s guards.”
“And Silango is…?”
“Silango and Ossian are left in Vladimir’s guard; Vance’s three guards are sworn to protect Kiera.”
“Silango and Ossian answer to Lady Neleh?”
“Not really. They fear her because she has the guard, but…”
“I thought you said they belonged to Kiera.”
“She…didn’t want them. She ordered them to obey Neleh.”
“Oh.”
“Silango answers to no one.”
“But he controls you?”
He nodded slowly. “All the Letrell brothers. He created us–and Ryan.”
“Ryan?”
“Yes, the same man who was outside of your window the night we first met. Silango sent him to deliver a message, but he got…distracted.”
“And you saved me from him.”
“That was the plan.”
“Did Silango send him to bring you to London?”
“Yes. Me and my brother, Rueben.”
Things were starting to make so much more sense now. They were all vampires. That’s why Ryan was so fast. All of Marcus’s brothers were also vampires, I realized.
“Do you think your brothers will like me?” I asked.
“They will.” He shrugged, half laughing at my awkward question.
“How do you know?”
“I just…um,” he shrugged and clicked his tongue, “I just know.”
“Do you think they’ll be angry because you changed me?” I looked down, suddenly interested in my intertwined fingers.
I didn’t hear him move, but I was aware of the pressure of his body against mine. “Hey,” he put his hand on my arm.
I looked up at the soft blue in his eyes. With my new sight, they looked like rings of Safire that had been set ablaze. The color spun around the dark black pupils, sucking me into their depths. What else could possibly matter? “Yeah?” My voice was barely a whisper.
He turned away from me so that I was able to hear and understand what he was saying to me. The wind picked up, throwing his hair around his chiseled jaw line. In that moment, I could see the warrior he had once been.
“For years, we traveled from place to place, convinced that we would never love. Achilles had tried it and it didn’t turn out well for him.”
My mouth drew down into a frown. I had seen Achilles in Marcus’s memories right after we bonded. Achilles was in love with Elizabeth. What did he mean that things didn’t work out well? “But I thought he and Elizabeth…?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “They are–now.”
“So, they weren’t always?”
“No. We didn’t think we could love. We had been created to fight. It’s all we knew.”
It was hard for me to see the world Marcus saw. I wished I could see his memories again. “And then Kiera found you guys.”
“Or we found her.” His tongue darted out to moisten his lips. “She wanted us all to find what she and Damien have.”
There was a sudden rage that he couldn’t hide. “You don’t like Kiera?”
“I do,” he nodded. “I just don’t like what they have.” He tried to laugh.
“You don’t like love?”
He smiled into the falling snow, but when he turned to me, he was serious again. “I love you, Claudia.”
“I love you, too.”
“I’m sorry I did this to you.” I couldn’t tell him that it was okay, that I didn’t mind. He would know I was lying.
“I’m glad I’m with you, Marcus.”
“I want you to meet Paris,” he said suddenly. “He’s going to love you.”
“Paris is your true brother?”
“Twin brother.” His eyes got wide.
“Then he must be extremely handsome,” I teased.
“Just don’t tell him that.”
“Where is he now?”
“I haven’t spoken to him for a while, but I would guess he’s at Blakesly House.”
“What is Blakesly House again?”
“Where all the Letrell’s live–our true home.”
“Will we go there?”
“We all meet up there once a year, so yes, we will go there eventually. You’ll meet all my brothers.”
The snow began to come down in a heavier curtain, but I barely felt it. I wasn’t cold at al,l even though I didn’t have a jacket on. The night had grown quieter while we sat there listening to it.
“It will get easier, Claudia,” Marcus promised.
“I’m never going to be like you.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“I’m never going to enjoy hunting. I never want to do that again.”
“It will just take time.”
“I guess we have plenty of that now.” I sniffed back my stubborn tears.
“I know that it’s selfish, but I’m glad I get to spend my time with you.”
“You are?” I smiled up at him through my tears.
“I am.” He gently wiped away the moisture under my eyes. His fingers lingered on my face, tracing the shape of my lips. I closed my eyes before his lips met mine, savoring the sounds my heart made when he was this close. “Your heart is still so human,” he whispered.
“What?” I pulled back slightly. “Yours still beats, too.”
“It doesn’t have to.”
“No?” I pressed my hand against his chest, but there was no longer the steady beat that was so comforting. Disappointment cut through my stomach like a knife. I dropped my hand back to my lap.
“It still beats.” He took my hand and put it back to his chest. “See?” I nodded, feeling slightly better to hear his heart again. “When you’re young–like you–your heart still beats on its own; meaning it still has to. With time, you’ll be able to stop it all together whenever you want.”
“Why would you want to?” The question fired out of my mouth before I could take it back.
“There are times when you need to. Like when you’re supposed to be dead, or when you don’t want anyone to hear you.”
Anyone? By that I was sure he meant other vampires. If he was talking about humans, he wouldn’t have cared about his heart beating–they couldn’t hear that. But if he meant vampires, did that mean he had enemies?
“Do you hurt each other?”
“Some do. That’s part of the reason my brothers and I joined together. There is strength in numbers.”
“There are only six of you.” He shrugged. “And there are 500 warriors.”
“There were 500 warriors.”
“What do you mean?”
“Neleh has hunted down a lot of them.”
“How many are left?”
“No one really knows. The ones left stay quiet–most of them anyways.” A small smile played at his lips.
“But, Ryan tried to kill us.”
“He tried to kill you,” Marcus corrected. “Even though we’re not well liked, there aren’t many who would take on the Letrell Brothers.” There was so much pride in his voice. “And now you are a Letrell.”
“I’m not strong like you. I don’t want to be,” I half sobbed. “I don’t want to be a monster, Marcus. Please don’t make me.”
He squeezed my hand firmly between his larger ones. “I won’t,” he vowed. “I’ll take care of you, Claudia. You never have to worry about anything again–I promise.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
1980
The sunlight danced on the pure white walls. Even after all these years, I still preferred the sunlight to the moonlight. I wiggled my toes under the blanket knowing that it would wake Marcus up.
“Are you awake already, my love?” came his raspy morning voice.
“The sun is up.”
“I think the sun was up when we went to sleep.”
I blushed at his teasing words. “You got back late,” I reminded him.
He smiled widely and rolled over to pin me under him. “Good morning, my beautiful wife.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“That you are beautiful?”
“That it’s a good morning,” I laughed.
“Ah.” He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. “I love waking up to you.”
“I would hope so. You’ve been doing it for quite some time.”
“Yes,” he agreed.
His lopsided grin never failed to make my heart do summersaults. The longer we spent together, the worse it got. Marcus had promised that we could always be like this, and I could live with that. David and Sylvia were no longer with us, but it didn’t get boring as I had once thought it would.
He lowered his eyes and I heard his teeth chewing on his bottom lip. “What is it?” I immediately knew something was wrong.
“Nothing. Well…”
“Well?” My eyes narrowed. This kind of well wasn’t usually followed by something I wanted to hear.
“We have to leave tonight.”
“And go where?”
“To London.”
“You can’t be serious.”
He raised himself up on two elbows. “It’s not…it’s not an unreasonable request.”
“We said,” I took a deep breath, “You said we would never go back there.”
“It was a very long time ago that I said that.”
“And what? Now never means something different?”
“Silango has called me.” I turned away from him, refusing to acknowledge that hated name. “I would have taken you to Blakesly House to keep you safe, but there isn’t time.”
“Why?” I demanded.
“It’s urgent that I see him now.”
“Because he said so?”
“Yes, Claudia, because he said so.”
“Well, I’m not going with you.”
“I’m not leaving you unguarded.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“No,” he shook his head firmly. “You’re coming with me.”
“Don’t you remember the last time we went to London?”
“I changed you into a vampire.”
“I’m not even talking about that,” I shot him my best glare. “I’m talking about how mean you were to me, how different you became.”
“It won’t be like that this time.”
“What’s different about this time?”
His eyebrows drew together drastically. “You are.”
“I don’t…”
“Don’t you see, my love?” He traced his finger below my bottom lip and up under my eye. “I won’t have to keep anything from you. You’ll be able to know where I am and why I need to go. It was all the secrets that estranged us.”
I saw the wisdom in his words, but I wasn’t ready to give in yet. “London was the root of all our problems. It we had stayed in Hamel, we would have been fine.”
“You married a vampire. Your life was never going to be fine again.”
“It’s not so bad now.”
“No?” He jabbed his fingers lightly against my ribs; knowing exactly where I was most ticklish.
“Stop!” I squealed.
“Stop what? I’m having such a hard time hearing you.”
I squirmed under his touch. “This isn’t going to work.”
“Are you suggesting that I have an ulterior motive for making my wife smile?” His mouth widened in mock horror.
“Not at all,” I laughed, “but I’m still not going to London.”
“Sylvia will be there.”
His sudden declaration made me fall silent
. “What?”
“I received word from her two days ago saying she would meet us in London the day after tomorrow.”
“That’s not fair.” He knew how much I wanted to see my old friend. So much time had passed since I saw her last. It wasn’t right to bribe me with that. What if I still said no? Would he refuse to let me see her?
“It’s not…my choice.”
“Who’s choice is it?” But I already knew. He didn’t need to say his name. It seemed like back luck to say his name so much in one day.
“Silango wishes her to be there–and you too.”
“Me?” I couldn’t hide my shock. Why would he want to see me?
He sighed heavily. He had obviously known for a little while now. “It will be fine, Claudia.”
“Actually,” I admitted on sigh, “it would be nice to see Sylvia.”
“I miss her, too.” I was surprised to hear him say that. He always said that trouble followed Sylvia. “It’s been…”
“Six years,” I finished for him. “Six long years.”
“Has it really been so bad just being with me?”
“No,” I swatted at his chest, “of course not. I just…miss Sylvia, and now David, too.”
This time, when we had all split ways, it was different. Normally, we made plans for when we would rejoin each other, but this time, they just left. We didn’t even know for sure where they went. At least he had found Sylvia.
“Do you think Sylvia and David have seen each other?” I wondered out loud.
“I don’t think they have.”
“I don’t understand how they can just part ways like that.” He shrugged, more interested in the shapes on the pillowcase under my head. “You would never leave me, right, Marcus?”
“You and I are different.”
“Because you love me?”
“Sometimes.”
I pursed my lips tightly, narrowing my eyes at him. “David loves her.”
“He does.”
“And she loves him, too.”
“I’m not arguing with you.” He kissed the bottom of my jaw, trying to distract me.
“They should be together.”
“I am sure they will be again one day. They’re just taking a little…break.”
“You’ll never need a break, though, right?”
“Never.” He kissed me softly until my frown lines disappeared. “We’ve had some good times together, haven’t we?”
“Do you remember that time in Spain?” I could barely hold in my laughter.
