Damaged

by Martina Cole

Annie said to her curiously, ‘What do you mean by that?’

  Claire shrugged. ‘They all wear virginity rings and act like they are better than everyone else.’

  ‘What do you mean, virginity rings?’

  Jennifer rolled her eyes in frustration then, as if there was an idiot in the room and it certainly wasn’t her. ‘They are like promise rings. You know, when you promise to get engaged at some point? Well, these are rings that mean you will stay a virgin till your wedding day.’

  Judging by the resentment in the girl’s voice, Annie guessed her days of wearing a virginity ring were long gone. She was glad once more not to be a teenage girl in this climate. It was a minefield of rights and wrongs, and she didn’t have a clue. Christ Himself knew how these kids were supposed to decide what was best for them.

  ‘So what do these rings look like?’ Annie was racking her brain to remember what jewellery the girls were wearing at the time of death.

  Jennifer shrugged. ‘Like signet rings, I guess. They get them from Argos.’

  That was something that Annie was not expecting. She had heard about promise rings, of course. But this put a different complexion on things. Why had no one mentioned it? The parents or the teachers? She could hear DC Karim’s voice coming from the kitchen and guessed he was once more talking Peter Andrews down.

  Jennifer smiled suddenly. ‘It’s a load of old crap really, because they might not have gone all the way with the boys but they have done everything else!’

  Claire Andrews nodded in agreement then. ‘Especially that Kylie!’

  The girls exchanged a look before Jennifer said seriously, ‘Honestly, I just don’t get how they can all wear their virginity rings but still be up for anything else. And they had the fucking cheek to look down on us and spread all that shit about me and Claire! The boys use them as well, and they can’t even see the fucking irony of it. They slaughtered us because of the sexting thing, and they were actually giving blow jobs to boys and acting like they were better than us.’

  Annie knew that she had to tread warily now, as the girls were finally opening up to her and she didn’t want them to feel they couldn’t speak to her about what was actually going on.

  ‘Kylie, you say?’ She looked at Claire as she spoke.

  The girl nodded. ‘We went on a dating site for a laugh. I mean, we sent a few pictures but we never actually met anyone. But Kylie and her mates were quite happy to go off with the boys at lunchtimes and suck them off, and they still acted like they were fucking better than everyone else. Might not have had actual sex but they were still doing stuff, you know?’

  Annie nodded once more, as she wondered again what the hell constituted being a teenager in the current climate. She was so glad she didn’t have a daughter, or a son for that matter.

  ‘Who were the boys they went off with?’

  Jennifer rolled her eyes in annoyance. ‘Hello! The boys in their circle – they are treated like gods because they’re classed as the dog’s gonads. They are the popular kids! When they called us in about the pictures, we told Miss Betterway all about their little club. Ask her. The school destroyed us over a couple of photos, but Kylie and her crowd were just as bad. But they got away with it because their parents don’t know and the school didn’t want its precious reputation to suffer. But everyone else knows what happened. And everyone knew that nothing was going to be done to them because they have always had a swerve. My dad might be a mug, but he knew as well as we did that we were no more than an example. The teachers were aware that there was much more going on, but the kids concerned are off limits.’

  Annie Carr could hear the hurt and the humiliation in the girl’s voice and knew that she was speaking the truth. ‘I would appreciate it if you would explain the situation, so I can understand it properly. I am open to listening to whatever you have to tell me. I promise it won’t go any further.’

  The two girls exchanged glances with each other again.

  Jennifer Andrews turned back to Annie and looked her in the eye, saying, ‘I’m sorry Kylie and Destiny are dead but they made our lives hell. We are well out of it now at our new place. If you want my advice, you talk to Miss Betterway – she knew we were scapegoats. She was gutted, but she couldn’t do anything for us. She knew what my dad was like. They all did.’ She sighed heavily, before saying quietly, ‘Oh, and ask her about the bracelets, and what the colours mean.’

  Annie was prevented from asking what she was talking about because Peter Andrews came back into the room then, and he looked fit to be tied. For a few seconds Annie Carr could find it in her heart to pity him. It sounded like the bully had been bullied, and he had no redress. And if the girls were telling the truth, they had been served up to a man who wouldn’t have fought for his daughters because he already thought the worst of them anyway. It was an interesting scenario, and Annie was determined to get to the truth. She saw the fear in the girls’ eyes at the appearance of their father, and she felt a wave of pity for them too. Only now she wondered if this angry little man had been bulldozed into his daughters’ downfall without even realising it.

  Whatever these girls had done, she had a feeling that they were telling her the truth. She stood up and smiled at Peter Andrews as she said genuinely, ‘Thank you so much for your time.’

  Peter Andrews was nonplussed at her pleasant attitude. He was distrustful because he believed that his daughters, his own flesh and blood, were capable of anything. But then, after what he had already found out about them, who could blame him?

  Annie left the Andrews’ home with a heavy heart, and a reminder that sometimes things really weren’t as simple as you might think. Now she needed to find out if what the Andrews girls had said had any credence. Because it sounded like there was a rotten underbelly with these kids that she had to get to the bottom of. And she would.

  Chapter Fifty-five

  Kate wondered how she was going to deal with Bella, who had phoned her, acting like they were bosom buddies. It had been a really strange one, given that Bella had made it evident that she saw her as someone to be tolerated at best. Bella had what Patrick wanted: his grandchildren. And she would milk that for all it was worth. But thanks to Patrick’s revelations the other night Kate also knew now that Joseph wasn’t exactly husband of the year. Even though she hated herself for thinking it, she could understand why he might be playing away from home.

  There was something decidedly strange about Bella – and not just because she had treated Kate with such scorn, as if she meant nothing – but because she seemed to genuinely think that Kate would be overjoyed to hear from her and be best friends all of a sudden. She guessed that Bella knew that she was an also-ran, and that was why she was now looking for allies. It was a shame, because Kate would have been her biggest champion if only the woman had even tried to be amenable. But Bella was the type of woman who didn’t like other women – and who didn’t know how to interact with them.

  As Patrick had said so succinctly, Bella had a cuntish way with her, and that really did sum her up, crude as it was. But knowing about Joseph’s mistress, Kate couldn’t help wondering if that was the reason Bella was suddenly acting like they were bosom buddies.

  Kate sighed with annoyance. She didn’t want to get involved with anybody’s private lives, especially when the people involved were not her flesh and blood. She would be civil and do what was required of her, for Patrick’s sake, but there was no way she would ever really warm to Bella.

  Kate had thought long and hard about it, and she actually admired Ruby O’Loughlin because she could have come to Patrick and been given the earth. It was a measure of the woman’s decency that she had kept it to herself for so many years. Kate knew that Patrick both appreciated and resented her for keeping his son away from him. Kate understood that Ruby was fundamentally a good woman and she had done what she had thought was right at the time. Now Ruby was gone, and Joseph was here, and Patrick had another chance at having a family. She couldn’t begrudge him that, be
cause she knew how much it meant to him, but she wasn’t going to like Bella O’Loughlin for anyone.

  She was glad when Annie buzzed the gates. She was interested in what was happening with the case, and she smiled widely as she opened the front door. Annie was not just her friend but a contemporary – they were wired the same way. She knew that Annie looked on her as a mentor, and she relished that because, in reality, she had no one with her daughter and grandchildren living on the other side of the world. In truth, even though she loved Lizzy, it suited them both not to be living in each other’s pockets. For so long, she had never really had anything other than Patrick and her job and, now that Patrick had Joseph and his new family, she felt a loneliness that she hadn’t felt since her ex-husband, Dan, had abandoned her and his daughter.

  Annie Carr swept into the house and they hugged, and as Kate walked her through to the kitchen she felt an urge to cry.

  Chapter Fifty-six

  Margaret Dole was in her element. She was pulling all the CCTV that was near or around the cybercafés in Grantley. Finally, with this new bit of information from the Andrews girls, she felt they might have something tangible that could be accessed and, hopefully, give them a clue of some description.

  She was a believer in the new world order. Unlike the idiots who argued that people had a right to personal privacy, she believed that if you weren’t doing anything wrong why the fuck would you care if you were caught on a camera? It was a bone of contention with a lot of her colleagues, but she didn’t deviate from her stance. Why would she? She believed that in the war against crime – whatever the crime might be – the police should be able to use whatever means necessary to solve that crime. It wasn’t a popular opinion, but she didn’t really care.

  Margaret knew far more about the dangers of cyberspace than them, and it was more important now than it had ever been. The internet was actually the greatest tool they had at their disposal. She often wondered if the people she worked with, who were so against what they saw as a breach of their privacy, were actually more worried about being seen doing something they weren’t supposed to. She had been very vocal about that in the past and it had not made her a hit among her colleagues. The majority of the naysayers were older, and not as computer literate as they should be. But, as she told herself, she wasn’t trying to win any popularity contests, and she was good at what she did, so she didn’t give a toss what anyone thought of her.

  She was happy doing her job, especially at times like this when she felt that she might be on to something. Annie Carr had given her the low-down on the cybercafés, and she was confident that if there was anything to find, then find it she would.

  Chapter Fifty-seven

  ‘Bella, are you all right?’

  Bella turned to face her husband, and smiled gently as she said quietly, ‘Of course I am, darling. I was watching the children in the garden. They seem so happy, don’t you think?’

  Joseph nodded, but he could sense that there had been a subtle shifting in the dynamic of their relationship and Bella was as aware of it as he was; they were both creeping around each other. Joseph wondered how he was going to resolve this dilemma because, as much as he hated what he wanted to do, he was determined to do it. Since he had confided in Patrick Kelly about his situation, he had felt a great need to put an end to this situation he was living in. It was as if, now he had said it out loud, he had to do something about it. Bella was his wife, and he loved her in a way – she was the mother of his children, after all. But he wasn’t in love with her; that was a completely different thing altogether. Bella just wanted the trappings of love: the husband, the children, the house, and the car. She only cared about what her life looked like, how other people saw her life. She really didn’t see that, in the grand scheme of things, they actually didn’t have a life at all.

  When she looked into his eyes, he could see the animosity that was never far from the surface these days. He knew that she was waiting for him to make the first move. He had hoped that she would be the one to do it, coward that he was; he wanted her to be the one to initiate the break. If she did it, she would at least keep her pride, and he wanted to feel less guilty.

  He looked away and concentrated on the children playing in the garden; they were close, and they were good kids. Bella went to his side and tucked her arm into his: she must have felt him recoil but she didn’t react at all.

  Instead she said chirpily, ‘How lucky are we, Joseph? We have two beautiful children and a wonderful life. So many people would give anything to be us.’

  He didn’t answer her.

  After a few minutes she said smugly, ‘Oh, by the way, I spoke to Kate today and arranged to go there tomorrow for lunch, as Joey and Amanda both have an inset day. The children are thrilled, they love the pool. I thought we could tell them the truth, darling, tonight. They really like Patrick and Kate. I mean, she’s not really family, but Patrick is their grandfather, and I think they have a right to know, don’t you?’

  Joseph was taken aback; he wasn’t expecting this attempt at normality between them.

  Bella went to the fridge and took out a bottle of wine. As she poured two glasses, she continued, ‘I do think that tonight is the night. After all, it’s all about family, isn’t it?’ Her words were loaded, almost like a threat. She offered the glass of wine to him and, as she tapped his glass in a toast, she said, ‘You’re very quiet tonight, Joseph. Are you OK?’

  He didn’t answer her.

  Eventually she put her finger under his chin and gently pulled his face around to hers. ‘Oh, darling, I do worry about you. But remember, I will always be here beside you. Nothing could ever tear us apart, because I wouldn’t allow it.’

  Joseph looked into her eyes and knew that she had just delivered a real threat. And, even though she was tiny and she was smiling at him, Bella had finally thrown down the gauntlet.

  He pulled away from her and, shrugging nonchalantly, he said with a pretence at calmness, ‘Bella, life is a strange thing. No one knows what the future holds.’

  Bella opened her eyes wide, as if she had been given a big surprise. Then, laughing, she said gaily, ‘Oh, but I do, darling. I know exactly what my future holds.’

  Joseph looked into her smug face and it hit him that she was more than aware of Christine Murray. He should have guessed that much. Bella was a lot of things but stupid wasn’t one of them.

  ‘For example, I know that you will never leave me, Joseph, because I won’t let you. Can you imagine what would happen to the children if you did? How hurt they would be?’ She smiled again but her words were loaded as she sipped her wine. ‘I’d better get the children in for their supper. Would you set the table, darling?’

  Joseph looked at his wife’s retreating form with distaste. There was no going back from this for either of them. But he felt uneasy. There was a part of him that was wary of this little wife of his. She almost frightened him.

  Chapter Fifty-eight

  Annie Carr was tired: she had drunk a bit too much at Kate’s last night and she was feeling the effects. She was so thirsty she could drink a river dry, and her head was thumping with a well-earned migraine. As she sipped a coffee and swallowed a couple of paracetamol, she wondered why she ever drank. She didn’t bother to answer her own question, because she knew that she would be drinking again, and sooner rather than later. It was her escape from reality, and she actually treasured that at times like this.

  She sat in her car for a while, watching the kids going into school. She couldn’t really comprehend people who wanted to teach, because most of the pupils seemingly had no more interest in learning than they had in getting a hole in their vacuous heads. She saw the result of bad parenting on an almost daily basis, so she didn’t envy these people their jobs. She was probably being unfair, but she didn’t really care. All she saw was a swarm of kids who looked like clones of one another – the older girls especially. They all had make-up on, they all looked like they were bored and they seemed to
run in packs.

  She remembered how awful it had been as a teenager; she had never been part of the in-crowd. In fact, she had not really wanted to be, but she remembered how lonely it could be if you were an outsider. She had been lucky really – she had been determined to better herself, and she had known from an early age that she could only do that with an education of some kind. But she also remembered being overlooked because she wasn’t pretty enough to warrant invitations to parties, and how much it hurt when everyone talked loudly about their wonderful weekends, knowing that it was for her benefit. Not being a part of a peer group, because she just wasn’t good enough, had been a hard lesson. But she had learned her lesson well, and put her head down and got on with her schoolwork. Still, it had burned, even though she had convinced herself that she didn’t really care about being accepted by girls she looked down on because they were completely devoid of anything that interested her. But, in truth, being pushed out by them so blatantly had hurt, and she hated that she had felt so unworthy because of their treatment. She had been devastated at the time, and all these years later she still felt the pain of not being accepted, the feeling that she wasn’t good enough

  Girls could be real bitches, and she didn’t envy those who happened to be teenagers in this day and age. There was so much pressure on them – to look a certain way, to dress a certain way. It had been the same when she was young to a degree, but then there hadn’t been reality TV and the internet. She couldn’t imagine the pressure this generation was under to conform, to fit in. As Kate had pointed out, everything they did was documented on social media. Yet the murdered girls seemed to be whiter than white, online at least. Now she was interested to know what they did offline.

  She waited a while until her headache eased before she got out of the car and walked into the school. She still felt like shit, and decided she would wait till she was offered coffee before she pissed all over Miss Betterway’s firework.