Victorious tlf-6

by Jack Campbell

  “Happy?” Geary sighed. “Tanya, when I walked in here and saw you, I swear for a moment there was no one else and nothing else in the universe. Just you. Are you happy to see me?”

  “I—” Desjani bit off her words and started again. “If you read my message—”

  “I already read it.”

  “You already … It wasn’t supposed to …” Desjani looked annoyed now. “All right, then. Wasn’t I clear?”

  “Not entirely, no, but I figured it out.” Even he knew that mentioning Rione’s role in the whole thing would be a very serious mistake. “I don’t need time to think it over. I know what I want. I just hope you still want it, too.”

  Annoyance shaded into exasperation. “I am giving you every opportunity to rethink things.”

  “Thank you. I have no need for those opportunities.”

  Desjani leaned close, speaking in a whisper as Geary became aware of all of the eyes turning their way. “You’re not being fair to either of us. You haven’t had any time to really see the Alliance today. In a few months, things will have changed.”

  “My mind and my heart won’t have changed.” Geary shook his head. “Tanya, I had a life before Grendel knocked me on a new course. I saw a lot of people then. And I’ve seen a lot of people now, even though almost all of them were in the fleet. There was no one like you a century ago, and there’s no one else like you now.”

  “Do not patronize me, Captain Geary! I know how badly losing everything in your past hurt you!”

  He spent a moment looking at her, vaguely aware that an increasing number of sailors had gathered facing away to form a protective wall between him and Desjani and the rest of the occupants of the waiting area, as well as the growing crowd outside. “It did hurt. I lost everything. But eventually I realized that I’d gained something, too. If I hadn’t come to this time, I wouldn’t have met you. Maybe that was always what was intended. It just took me a while to get here.”

  Desjani stared at him. “You actually believe the living stars sent you to this time because I was here?”

  “Why not? Oh, I was able to do a few things, important things, but I couldn’t have done them without the people I met here. And you have been and are by far the most important of those people to me. You give me the strength to do what I have to do. I told you that before, sort of, as best I could at the time. I can’t face this future without you, Tanya.”

  She shook her head. “I think you are greatly overstating my importance to you, Captain Geary.”

  “It is impossible to overstate your importance to me,” he replied in a low but forceful tone. “You don’t stand between me and my duty, you stand beside me, a strong and remarkable individual, and I swear everyone will know that.”

  “You’re hopeless. Do you actually think anyone will listen?”

  “I’ll keep saying it until everyone does. I’m sort of stubborn when I have to be, you know.”

  “You don’t have to tell me that.” Desjani almost smiled, then turned serious again. “But there was much we couldn’t say, much we couldn’t tell each other.”

  “I know. We can say it now. With honor. We can say the truth to each other.”

  “And what is that, Captain Geary?”

  “That I love you. I am certain of that.”

  “You sought comfort during a difficult time,” she said.

  “If all I’d wanted was comfort, there were easier ways of finding it.”

  “I’m well aware of that. For a while, you did find it, in another woman’s arms.” Desjani’s eyes flashed with anger this time as she brought up Geary’s brief physical relationship with Rione.

  He couldn’t very well deny it. “Yes, I did. It was a mistake. I never loved her. She never loved me.”

  “And that’s supposed to make it all right that she shared your bed?”

  “No. It doesn’t excuse it at all. I’m sorry I did that. The only excuse I can offer is that I had not yet realized how I felt about you. When I did so, it ended. I swear it.”

  She gave him another aggravated look. “It would be easier to stay angry with you if you were less repentant and less honest. I’m not perfect, either. But it hurt me.”

  “I know. I will never hurt you again.”

  “Don’t make promises that no man, or woman, can hope to keep, Captain Geary.” Desjani shook her head. “I know who I am, and I have a pretty good idea of who you are. Even if we resolve every other issue, a relationship of you with me would be … Let’s just say it would be challenging.”

  “I know it will be difficult at times,” Geary replied. “It already has been. Being in love with you, and unable to do or say a thing about it, was very hard. You may not believe this, but I don’t go seeking out ways to make my life miserable.”

  Desjani’s gaze on him sharpened, her mouth set in tight lines. “Loving me makes you miserable?”

  “It did when I couldn’t do anything or say anything.” Geary waved his hands in frustration. “I can’t say this right. I’m bad at this sort of thing. I’m pretty good at commanding a fleet, I guess, but I’m not nearly as good with women.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” Was she still angry, or was she actually making fun of him?

  “Have you thought it through?” she demanded. “Believe me, I have. For the moment, we are both captains, but only for the moment. You know the Alliance will promote you back to admiral immediately. The message alerting you to your promotion has probably already been sent.”

  “Probably. I haven’t read it though.”

  “How long do you think you can go without reading your message traffic? Captains can date each other. Captains can be involved with each other, as long as they’re not in the same chain of command. Admirals and captains cannot engage in personal relationships.” Desjani closed her eyes, her expression hardening. “I will not be your secret, or not-so-secret, mistress.”

  “I would never ask that of you. I didn’t and I won’t.”

  “But what alternative is there?” she demanded, fixing her eyes on Geary again. “You’re probably already an admiral again.”

  He couldn’t argue with that. “I guess that means we’ll have to work quickly, before I have to read any messages or talk to anyone who knows. There’s one way I can prove that I want to be with you and only you, and one way an admiral and a captain can have a personal relationship, and that’s if we’re married before I’m promoted. Before I know I’ve been promoted.”

  Desjani seemed to stiffen, then spoke slowly. “Married?”

  “Yes. Will you? I mean it. I swear I’ve never meant anything as much as I do this.”

  “You’re proposing to me? On a public passenger dock?”

  “Um … yes. I’m sorry I couldn’t arrange a better location.”

  Desjani looked away, uncharacteristically flustered, her expression once again very hard for Geary to read. “And if I say no? If I tell you firmly, captain to captain, woman to man, that I do not want that, and I do not want you that way, what will you do?”

  It was Geary’s turn to just look at her for a long moment. Had he misread every emotion he had thought he had seen in her? “Then I will ask you to reconsider, I will ask you to listen to how I feel, but if you are indeed firm in those feelings, then I must respect them. I’ll treat you from then on as a fellow professional and never raise the subject again.”

  “I’m about to leave on that ship. We have only minutes left. You wouldn’t order me to stay? Order me to listen?”

  He felt a vacant sensation inside, as if a tiny black hole had appeared at the core of his being and was devouring everything, but he shook his head. It might cost him the most important thing he had left in this universe, but he had to say the truth, had to answer the question without any pretense or shadings. He could not lie to her. “No, Tanya. If you truly wish to go, then go. I have no authority over your person, over your choices, nor would I ever have such authority. If you don’t believe that I’ve given y
ou back your honor yet, I do so now, with no strings attached. You’re the captain of your soul as much as you are captain of Dauntless, but they’re different things. I can give orders to one but never to the other. I know that.”

  One corner of her mouth twitched, then Desjani smiled, then she crossed the space between them in one step. Her arms went about him, and her lips sought his in a hard and hungry kiss.

  When she finally broke the kiss, Desjani paused to breathe, then smiled. “I’ve been waiting a long time to do that. That was the right answer, by the way.”

  Geary, feeling slightly dazed from that kiss, stared at her. “Is that your answer to me?”

  “Wasn’t it clear enough? Yes. Yes to everything. Your behavior toward me, your refusal to take advantage of my feelings, gave me my honor back a long time ago. How are we going to get married before that promotion catches up to you? Even if we get out of this star system without the authorities finding you, the promotion will probably be sent by a fast courier ship and will be waiting by the time we get to Kosatka. That means we’ll have to get married on the passenger ship as quickly as we can arrange it.”

  “On the ship?”

  Something in his tone must have sounded like hesitation, because Desjani narrowed her eyes at him. “Yes. Are you getting cold feet already? You don’t get to back out of this now. I already gave you every opportunity.”

  He briefly imagined trying to run away from a vengeful Tanya Desjani. It would probably be an eventful and a short existence. “No. I mean, yes. That is, getting married on the ship is a great idea. Appropriate, I guess.”

  “She’s not a warship,” Desjani noted wistfully, “but she’ll do. You do realize that current fleet regulations discourage assigning married couples to the same ship?”

  Actually, he’d forgotten to look up that particular thing. “If I’m an admiral again, I won’t actually be assigned to your ship as part of the crew.”

  “Space lawyer,” Desjani snorted. “But you’re right. If we’re to work together, though, we can’t be a married couple aboard ship. We have to have the same kind of working relationship we did before.”

  “I have to be miserable?”

  “If you say that again—”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Geary smiled. “I agree. We can do that. We have done that. I was sort of hoping to get married on Kosatka, though.”

  Desjani grinned. “We can honeymoon there, until your orders catch up with you. Which means it might be a very brief honeymoon. Our ship is leaving soon. Where’s your baggage?”

  “Baggage?” Only then did it occur to Geary that he had rushed off Dauntless with nothing but the uniform he was wearing.

  Desjani’s smile grew. “Just like when we pulled you out of that escape pod. You’re not very good at packing, are you? We’ll pick up a few things for you in the ship’s store. I don’t suppose on the way here you bothered trying to get a ticket for this ship to Kosatka?”

  “Uh … I was actually just focused on getting to you and, uh … what to say, and …”

  Desjani laughed. “That’s okay. I’ve got a private cabin. I hoped against all reason and against all of my own doubts that I’d need it, that we’d need it, and it seems we do. We just have to add your fare on to it.” She laughed again. “I think my parents are going to be a little startled. They thought I was married to Dauntless. Instead I’ll be bringing you home as a son-in-law. Oh, that reminds me. There’s one other nonnegotiable condition on our marriage. If someday we’re blessed with a daughter, she must be named after Jaylen Cresida.”

  Geary smiled and nodded. “Of course. Did you think I’d have a problem with that?”

  “No, but unlike you, I don’t spring surprises on people. Except my parents in this case.” She paused and gave him a serious look. “What about after Kosatka? If we have the time, do you want to go to your home world, to Glenlyon? The people there will want to see you.”

  Geary shook his head. “Someday I’ll have to go back there, but right now it scares the hell out of me. Glenlyon was my home world a century ago. Now my home is the fleet, and wherever you are.”

  “Lucky you. Since my home is also the fleet, you won’t be torn between two places.” Desjani looked up as a commander came forward through the ranks of sailors. “Yes?”

  The commander saluted, his face a formal mask, and held out a standard fleet duffel bag. “Captain Geary, sir, with compliments from Captain Tulev.”

  “Thank you, Commander.” Geary took the duffel and looked inside, seeing it neatly packed with spare uniform items and other travel necessities. “Am I the only person in the fleet who didn’t realize what was going to happen today?”

  “No,” Desjani replied. “You and I seem to be the only two people who didn’t know. But then we’ve been the only two people in the fleet who couldn’t talk about it.” A flight attendant was standing at the boarding hatch, vainly trying to get people moving. “Shall we lead the way or wait for someone else to show up with a minister and a marriage certificate?”

  “I think we can handle that part ourselves.”

  “Yes, we can.” Desjani linked her arm in his and started them both toward the hatch. “Even if the living stars aren’t done with you, and the Alliance certainly isn’t done with you, for now you’ve earned a short respite. Welcome to the rest of your life, Black Jack.”

  “I’m not Black Jack,” Geary protested. “I could never be him.”

  “You’re wrong, John Geary. You’ve been him every time it counted.”

  The sailors broke their wall as Desjani and he, arms still linked, walked toward the flight attendant. Then the sailors and the officers among them began cheering. Desjani flushed slightly but kept smiling, raised her chin with pride, and winked at Geary. Geary brought up his free hand to wave to the sailors, feeling pretty damned proud himself of the woman who’d chosen to link her arm with his.

  The past would never be gone, but it no longer hurt, and no matter what challenges tomorrow held, today it was good to be Black Jack.

  APPENDIX: The Alliance Fleet

  Admiral of the Fleet John Geary, Commanding

  As reorganized at Varandal Star System prior to offensive actions against the Syndic home star system.

  Ship names in bold are those lost in action, with the name of star system of their loss given afterward.

  SECOND BATTLESHIP DIVISION

  Gallant

  Indomitable

  Glorious

  Magnificent

  THIRD BATTLESHIP DIVISION

  Paladin (lost at Lakota)

  Orion

  Majestic (lost at Lakota II)

  Conqueror

  Dreadnaught

  Dependable

  FOURTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION

  Warrior (lost at Lakota II)

  Triumph (lost at Vidha)

  Vengeance

  Revenge

  FIFTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION

  Fearless

  Resolution

  Redoubtable

  Warspite

  SEVENTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION(Reconstituted)

  Indefatigable (lost at Lakota)

  Audacious (lost at Lakota)

  Defiant (lost at Lakota)

  Sustain

  Encroach

  Resound

  EIGHTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION

  Relentless

  Reprisal

  Superb

  Splendid

  TENTH BATTLESHIP DIVISION

  Colossus

  Amazon

  Spartan

  Guardian

  FIRST SCOUT BATTLESHIP DIVISION(Disestablished)

  Arrogant (lost at Kaliban)

  Exemplar (lost at Heradao)

  Braveheart (lost at Cavalos)

  FIRST BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION(Reconstituted)

  Courageous (lost at Heradao)

  Intrepid (lost at Heradao)

  Renown (lost at Lakota)

  Formidable

  Brilliant

  Inspire
<
br />   Implacable

  SECOND BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION

  Leviathan

  Dragon

  Steadfast

  Valiant

  FOURTH BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION

  Dauntless (flagship)

  Daring

  Terrible (lost at Ilion)

  Victorious

  FIFTH BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION(Reconstituted)

  Invincible (lost at Ilion)

  Repulse (lost in Syndic home system)

  Furious (lost in Varandal)

  Adroit

  Auspice

  Assert

  Agile

  Ascendant

  SIXTH BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION

  Polaris (lost at Vidha)

  Vanguard (lost at Vidha)

  Illustrious

  Incredible

  Invincible (new construction)

  SEVENTH BATTLE CRUISER DIVISION(Disestablished)

  Opportune (lost at Cavalos)

  THIRD FAST FLEET AUXILIARIES DIVISION

  Titan

  Tanuki

  Witch

  Jinn

  Alchemist

  Goblin (lost at Heradao)

  Thirty surviving heavy cruisers in six divisions

  (Thirty-seven when Geary first assumed command, minus sixteen lost in battle, plus nine reinforcements at Varandal)

  First Heavy Cruiser Division

  Third Heavy Cruiser Division

  Fourth Heavy Cruiser Division

  Fifth Heavy Cruiser Division

  Eighth Heavy Cruiser Division

  Tenth Heavy Cruiser Division

  minus

  Invidious (lost at Kaliban)

  Cuirass (lost at Sutrah)

  Crest, War-Coat, Ram , and Citadel (lost at Vidha)

  Basinet and Sallet (lost at Lakota)

  Utap, Vambrace , and Fascine (lost at Lakota II)

  Armet and Gusoku (lost at Cavalos)

  Tortoise, Breech, Kurtani, Tarian , and Nodowa (lost at Heradao)

  Lorica (lost at Padronis)

  Kaidate and Quillion (lost at Varandal)