Axel_Lone Rangers MC

by Kaitlyn Ewald

  Nothing except the burn of the nicotine in her lungs as she inhaled deeply, her eyes fluttering closed. Her long hair fell into her face as she turned to see the back side of the parking lot, her gaze locking on none other than Axel himself. He was a big man, a scary man, with scars and long hair and tanned skin that looked like it had seen its fair share of sharp edges. He resembled Tarzan if she were being honest with herself, and any man that had his reputation should scare the living daylights out of a woman.

  Laney found him intriguing, even though she understood just how scary he could be if he wanted to.

  He’d been reserved and cautious upon approaching her, but she could tell there was a barely tamed savage beneath his skin. His bruised knuckles and battered face told her that. She’s heard of his legendary fights with Fury.

  No, Axel was not a man to be trifled with.

  As she smoked her cigarette all the way down to the filter, she watched him, her green eyes never leaving the strong curve of his back. His wide shoulders nearly blocked out the sun and his jeans were a snug fit beneath his cut, but it was the patches lining the worn leather that caught her eye. She knew what some of those meant- he was a killer- and that alone should have had her running for her life in the opposite direction.

  Instead, she wanted to ask him what he’d meant earlier.

  “I get it, okay? We’ve all been where you are. Do what you need to heal.”

  Did he truly understand what she’d endured? Did he know the truth? Only Emily knew the real truth (part of it anyways), and that was enough of a condemnation for Laney. Anyone knowing the truth was enough to make her skin crawl, but it would be pretty hard for her to escape it.

  It followed her everywhere.

  It lurked in the shadows, in her dreams, in every waking thought…

  A soft knock on her door had her turning to face it, only to be met with the pretty face of a woman she’d never met before.

  “I know you’re probably still settling in, but I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Ashley, Axel’s sister.”

  Ashley smiled at her, and Laney could see one dimple in her left cheek. She was pretty with long red hair and bright blue eyes. She looked nothing like Axel as far as Laney was concerned, but who was she to judge?

  “I’m Laney Jackson. Nice to meet you.”

  She tried to be as polite as possible, but she wasn’t really sure she remembered how to interact with other people. It’d been a while since she’d left the confines of her small apartment back home.

  This, this entire MC fiasco, was way out of her league. Laney was far out of her comfort zone and she was sure it was written all over her face.

  Ashley was still smiling as she glanced around the room, her blue eyes assessing her surroundings.

  “We’ll have to get this room touched up a bit, don’t you think? It’s a little boring for my tastes.”

  Laney didn’t really care as she didn’t see herself staying very long.

  “Does it really matter?”

  Ashley’s smile faltered for a second before she sighed deeply.

  “It’s going to get colder soon, what with Christmas right around the corner. Least we can do is get you warmer bedding.”

  Laney nodded her head yes before she gestured towards the window.

  “Your brother is very nice.”

  That sounds fucking lame.

  Your brother is very nice?

  Ashley paused before she burst into laughter, her hand falling against her chest as she sucked in a deep breath.

  “Are we talking about the same man? Axel? The brunette behemoth with the dark-demon-eyes, who is covered in scars?”

  Laney blinked at the description of Axel.

  “He’s not that bad,” She defended.

  Ashley smiled kindly at her.

  “I wasn’t being mean, I was just being honest. I don’t think my brother has been described as nice in at least fifteen years, Laney. I’m happy he was kind to you, he really does have a big heart.”

  Laney felt less like an idiot then as she slowly nodded and glimpsed around the room.

  “Maybe the place could use some touching up,” She admitted.

  Ashley clapped her hands together and nodded happily.

  “I knew it! I’ll talk to Axel about us going in to town so we can get some new décor. This bedroom has been empty for a while, so who knows what the hell is tucked up under those sheets.”

  Both women looked at the bed with disgusted looks on their faces, knowing full well what a clubhouse full of bikers could get into.

  “Right, let’s do that today,” Laney said.

  Ashley nodded immediately.

  “Amen, girl. Amen.”

  Chapter 3

  The stars were bright overhead as Laney crept out the rear entrance of the clubhouse. She didn’t expect anyone else to be awake, mostly because the rest of the club had gone to their own room hours ago. It was the middle of the night, anyways.

  The night air was crisp so Laney tugged her sweater closer around her shoulders, her long hair getting in the way of the buttons. She didn’t make a sound as she rounded the brick wall that kept the rest of the parking lot out of view. The place was all but deserted save a couple of wooden picnic tables scattered around the aged cement.

  Laney headed for the one closest to her, enjoying the solitude and the still night air. The moon was large and bright and slightly golden as she looked up at the sky again.

  It would be perfect were she not still coming down from an awful nightmare.

  Don’t think about it.

  Don’t even go there…

  It wouldn’t matter one way or another for Laney, she’d remember everything about her downfall until the day she died.

  As she laid against the top of the table, her hair spilling all around her like an oil slick, her shoulder shivering from a stiff breeze, Laney thought of her brother.

  She missed him like crazy, wanted nothing more than to talk to him just one more time, to hear his voice for a matter of seconds at least.

  But, she wouldn’t ever get that.

  Fuck, Laney was the farthest away from the closure she needed that she’d ever been.

  “Laney? What are you doin’ out here? It’s chilly as hell.”

  Axel’s voice startled her so hard she almost fell over the side of the picnic table. Warm hands caught her around the waist, and Laney did her best not to flinch out of his hold.

  “I can’t sleep,” She murmured.

  His dark eyes came into view, his long hair tied up and out of his face. He was taller than her by a few inches at least, and wider times two, but for some reason that comforted her. His hands were still around her waist and his face was tilted close to hers so he could see into her eyes, and Laney didn’t want to move away.

  His presence calmed her, like a balm to a burn.

  “You should get back inside before you get sick. That’s the last thing you need right now,” He suggested.

  Laney slowly shook her head.

  “I don’t want to go back inside yet. I don’t want to close my eyes,” She heard herself whisper.

  Why did I just tell him that?

  Her admittance was like acid on her tongue when she realized what she’d said, but Axel didn’t make a big deal out of it. He simply nodded and pointed towards the mountains.

  “Those are part of the reason I bought the land here. When the shit in my head gets too loud, I just come out here and stare for a while. Usually makes me feel better.”

  Laney appreciated his honesty, and agreed that the mountains were a gorgeous sight to behold.

  “I prefer the sky, actually.”

  She pointed upwards and Axel’s gaze flittered towards the bright stars and the vibrant moon, a small smile coasting across his mouth. Laney hadn’t actually taken the time to look at him before, but with Ashley’s description lingering in the back of her mind, she decided to do so.

  His eyes were dark, but they were framed by lashes so lon
g they almost curled. It gave them a softer look, at least, Laney thought so. His face was littered with small scars, including one that ran through his left eyebrow. His nose was slightly crooked, presumably from being broken far too many times, and his jaw was square and covered in dark hair. His tanned skin was dark, especially compared to hers, and as Laney studied closer, she realized that his tattoos covered even more scars.

  “What are you lookin’ at me like that for?,” He asked gruffly.

  Laney’s gaze flew to his as she swallowed audibly, trying to think of a lie.

  Instead, she told him the truth.

  “I’m studying you.”

  His lips quirked slightly, his hands shifting ever so slightly, his grip tightening almost imperceptibly.

  “Studyin’ me? A woman like you should be running in the opposite direction, not movin’ closer.”

  Laney realized then that she had moved closer to him, had flattened her palms against the soft material of his t-shirt across his chest. For the barest of seconds, she didn’t want to let go.

  She didn’t want anything from him but the warmth, the comfort, that he offered her. It’d been a long time since she accepted a touch from anyone, and for some reason, Axel seemed like the perfect candidate to do so with.

  “Sorry,” She murmured.

  “Don’t apologize. Never show a monster like me weakness, Laney.”

  A monster?

  “You’re not a monster,” She whispered.

  Their eyes were locked on one another with a magnetic force Laney didn’t understand. She wanted to look away, but she couldn’t, and apparently Axel was struggling with the same thing. It felt so foreign to her, so strange, to not want to run away.

  Monster.

  “I am a monster, Laney. Don’t let this gentle moment fool you. You’re prey for a man like me.”

  Laney swallowed all the questions burning at the back of her throat as she stared up at the man holding her so tenderly.

  His eyes were filled with a warmth she hadn’t experienced in a long, long time. It was contradictory to what he was telling her, to what she was feeling inside. Laney was an excellent judge of character; she always knew about things before they happened. Laney could walk into a room and feel out the energy of anyone she passed by without even breaking a sweat.

  Touching Axel, being close to him, that gave Laney a pretty good indication about his character.

  That’s how she knew that he was lying.

  “You’re not a monster. I can feel it. Maybe you’re a little lost, maybe you’re a little weary like me, but a monster? No. I can see it in your eyes.”

  Axel’s eyes widened slightly, barely at all, but Laney still saw it.

  He sucked in a harsh breath before he let his hands fall to his sides, leaving Laney cold once again.

  “See, that’s the problem. When I look into your eyes, you know what I see?”

  Laney thought she already knew the answer to that, but she didn’t say a word.

  Let him figure it out on his own.

  Axel wrapped a strand of hair around his finger, the dark locks nearly glimmering in the moonlight.

  “Nothing. I don’t see a damn thing when I look into your eyes. I recognize that look, Laney Jackson. I’ve been there. I know that fuckin’ feeling. But, I ain’t gonna help you chase the storm. Not tonight, not ever. I’m a monster. I’ll ruin whatever the hell you got left, and I couldn’t bear to do that to you. Go back inside, go to bed, and pray. Pray that whatever he took from you ain’t gone forever,” Axel said heatedly.

  Laney felt her eyes narrow as she slowly spread her arms wide, her teeth gnashing wildly for a moment.

  “He? What he took from me? What makes you think there’s a he?”

  Axel laughed, and the sound grated on her nerves like nails on a chalkboard.

  “Baby, look at you! You’re the hottest mess I’ve ever seen, and I know for a fact that Rider ain’t the only thing hauntin’ your mind. It’s written all over your face.”

  Laney’s chest expanded roughly as she shook her head against his words. They settled on her skin like ivy on the vine and the only thing that kept her from crying was the anger roiling under her skin.

  “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “I know Ox dropped your looney ass off here so you could get your head straight. I know I literally picked Esme up off the floor in much the same state, and guess what, it ain’t the end of the world. Whatever the fuck you’re goin’ through, it ain’t the end of the world!”

  Feeling like Axel had struck her, Laney took a step back and shook her head. Her hair flew around her like a dark halo, as she stared Axel right in the eyes.

  “You don’t know what I’m going through. You have no comprehension. But, you’re right about one thing. You are a monster.”

  With that said, she turned her back to the predator watching her through narrowed eyes and made her way back inside, her hands balled into fists.

  There’s sadness, and then there’s anger, and then there’s Laney’s least favorite thing about all of it: grief.

  At that moment, she felt all three; Sadness at what she’d lost, anger at what she’d never get back, and grief at the knowledge that she’d given it all away of her own free will.

  Chapter 4

  “I’m here to see Laney,” Esme said.

  Axel rolled his eyes heavenward, the idea of one basket case seeking out another was far too ironic for his liking.

  “She’s in her room, where she’s been for the last three days. Go right ahead.”

  Esme narrowed her gaze, her mouth pursing as she watched her prior president closely.

  “You fucked up. What did you do?”

  Axel swore under his breath and shook his head, his fist landing on the top of his desk with enough force to rock it back and forth on its legs.

  “How do you know I did anything?”

  “I fuckin’ know you, Axel. Don’t play games. Laney ain’t like the rest of us around here. What did you do?”

  “I told her the damn truth! Apparently, she didn’t want to hear it.”

  Esme rocked back on her heels, her arms crossing over chest as she tilted her head to the side.

  “You and I both know you suck at talking to women, so how bad did you mess it up?”

  Axel winced and Esme rubbed a hand over her face, her irritation palpable.

  “Axel, you were a fuckin’ cock to her, weren’t you?”

  When he didn’t say a word to her, she knew that she was right and shook her head.

  Esme clapped her hands together as she looked around his office before nodding.

  “Great. I’m gonna have to fix this, aren’t I? Just so you know, you so owe me.”

  Axel didn’t say a word as she left the room and she hadn’t expected him to, but shit, Esme hadn’t realized that he would fuck things up so quickly.

  Men.

  Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

  As Esme neared Laney’s room, she was surprised by the utter silence she heard. Not a peep came from the other side of her door, even after she knocked three times.

  Without hesitation, Esme pushed the door open and froze when she caught sight of Laney sitting in a chair facing the windows. She wasn’t moving; Esme wasn’t even sure she was breathing as she neared her.

  Yet, when she laid her hand upon her shoulder, she was still warm.

  “Laney? Baby, can ya hear me?”

  Laney blinked, but she didn’t answer Esme.

  “Laney, its Esme. I came to spend some time with you, thought we could go out for the day.”

  Laney blinked slowly, as if she were finally hearing Esme, as she turned slightly.

  “I’m tired, Esme. Maybe another time.”

  Laney’s voice was completely devoid of any and all emotion as she replied.

  Esme shook her head as she fell to her knees beside the chair Laney was sitting in, her hands landing on Laney’s thigh. Laney didn’t flinch,
didn’t move, didn’t mutter a word. It was like she was made of stone.

  “Laney, I’m gonna get you out of this room today. You’re gonna go outside with me and feel the sunshine on your face if it’s the last thing I do.”

  Laney did look at her then, but Esme was startled to see the exhaustion on her face. So, the woman wasn’t lying, she was tired.

  “Not today, Esme.”

  Esme stared at her for a moment longer before she nodded and stood to remove her leather jacket and shoes. Laney didn’t watch her, didn’t comment, so Esme continued to get comfortable. She tossed her cell phone onto the bed which was sporting a pretty dark blue bedspread that looked comfortable as hell.

  Without saying a word, Esme pulled a chair closer to Laney and straddled it, her chin resting on her folded arms.

  As she watched, Laney seemed to finally come back to reality. Her gaze swayed to Esme more than once before she finally whispered, “It’s nice to see you again.”

  Esme’s blue eyes were filled with sympathy as she watched Laney sink back into herself. Esme felt like Laney was the fucking Titanic for a second as she watched her through wet eyes.

  “Laney, Axel told me you haven’t left your room in three days. Maybe we could just go for a walk?”

  “Do you remember that feeling, that ache that overtook your whole chest when Chris died?”

  Esme paused, her hand falling onto her own lap.

  “Yes.”

  Laney spread her palms across her belly and made a strangled sound in the back of her throat.

  “I always wanted babies. Ever since I was a little girl, I couldn’t wait to be a mother.”

  Esme had no idea where she was going with the conversation, but she had a feeling Laney needed to talk.

  “Tell me what happened.”

  ✽✽✽