Wrecked

by Alla Kar

  “What in the hell was that?”

  But I know who it is because I know that scream. Her scream. I knew as soon as I opened my eyes that she wasn’t lying next to me. The warmth from her body left me shivering. Our close body heat is the only reason we’re not frostbitten now. I don’t know how low the temperature was last night but it was cold.

  “I think it was Bella.” I pull the soaked blanket off of me before getting up and walking outside. The only evidence of the storm is the random tree branches scattered across the open bank. The sky is bright blue and it seems to go on for miles.

  My gaze travels the span of trees on the opposite side of the river. There isn’t any indication of a trail. Most likely we’ve crashed somewhere where there is little to no traffic.

  “Where do you think she is?” Taborie asks, dipping his hands into the river to take a drink.

  “She probably went to the bathroom.” I follow the bank up to where the trees begin to cluster. Footprints disappear into the woods just a few feet away from me.

  Another scream.

  Shit. I tear through the thick brush and don’t stop when the thorns tear at my arm. I don’t stop until I see her. As badly as I want to meet her gaze, I can’t concentrate on anything but her bare legs. Her jeans are two or three feet in front of her and she’s backed up against a tree.

  “What the hell?” I whisper. Taborie’s footsteps grow closer and I swing around to stop him. “She’s not—decent,” I say.

  The corner of his brow lifts a bit and he bites the corner of his lip in a pathetic attempt not to laugh. “Okay. Let me know if you need anything. I’m going to wake Katherine up.”

  I wait until he’s almost at the shelter to turn around. But she’s still in her underwear. Her lacey underwear. Briefly, I close my eyes and then march closer to her.

  “Don’t move!” she shouts, jutting her arm outwards. Her hair is sweaty and sticking to the side of her face and neck. “There is a snake in my jeans!”

  “In your jeans?” I ask. “How in the hell did it get into your jeans? You feeling lonely?”

  Red darkens her cheeks and I instantly regret saying it. Of course she’s lonely, Beau. Her fucking boyfriend—your best friend—just died. Before she can think into it, I walk toward her jeans and pick it up.

  She gasps as I shake the jeans until a small green grass snake falls to the leaves and starts to slither away. I grab the tail end of the snake and hold it up to me. It hisses and swings its head but it’s harmless.

  When I glance at Bella she’s wide-eyed. “Aren’t you going to kill it?’ she asks. “It crawled up my jeans when I was pissing!”

  I snort out a laugh and the feeling rocks through me. I can’t remember the last time I laughed. It’s been weeks. Cussing underneath her breath, she crosses her arms. “Can you at least give me my jeans back?”

  I’d rather not. With the snake in one hand, I walk her jeans back over to her. She watches the snake as she tries to grab the jeans. “Come on, Beau. I hate snakes! Drop it!”

  I give her a crooked smile. “He’s harmless,” I pretend to coo. “Just touch him.” When I jut my arm outward she jumps back.

  “I’m not joking. Get it away from me!” With her arms protruded she tries to make a run for it. Before I can even think twice about running after her, I take two steps and grab her around the waist.

  “Just one little pet, Dove. Come on,” I say through my smile. She yelps out and a laugh breaks through that stonewalled appearance.

  The laugh that made my attention drift to hers that first day in class. The laugh that I wanted to hear in my ears for a long time. Then it crashes down on me. It wasn’t me that got that, it was Jordan. I drop my arms as quickly as I had wrapped them around her.

  She turns to me and the smile on her face drops. Those bright gray eyes turn dark and gloomy in one instant. The same realization hits her that I just had. This isn’t right. We shouldn’t be happy right now. Jordan and Emily are both gone. Gone. Never coming back. Their bodies pathetically covered by a group of leaves that I collected. There was nothing else I could do.

  She tucks her hair behind her ear and I watch as the invisible wall shields me away—again. “Thanks. I’m going to go see if Katherine wants to take a bath.” She’s gone before I have a chance to answer.

  Groaning, I run my fingers through my dirty hair and close my eyes. My stomach grumbles loudly. The Cheez-Its from last night didn’t put a dent in my hunger. I was running late yesterday morning and didn’t catch breakfast. If I’d only known we would be stranded on the Sierra Nevada Mountains, I’d have taken the time to eat that Pop-Tart. Fucking, Pop-Tart.

  I trudge through the thorns and notice the blood dripping down my forearms and onto my wrists. I roughly wipe the blood with the back of my hand as I make it to the camp. The food we scavenged out of the suitcases are scattered out on a torn shirt again. There isn’t very much left. Kat’s got to eat. She already looks terrible. The poor girl cried in her sleep last night.

  A deep ache hits me for her. I know we’re all fucked right now but the kid lost her entire family. Taborie tries to hand her another pack of chips but she turns her head and lets it rest against her knees.

  He looks up at me and gives me a worried look. Bella sits down beside her and rubs her hand over the braid she fixed for her. “Do you want me to re-do it? Or we could go take a bath.”

  Her small face barely lifts and she nods. “You can re-braid it.” Bella nods and takes her position behind her to braid. When she catches me staring, I quickly glance over at Taborie who is standing near our shelter that didn’t take well to the storm last night.

  Dammit. I’d do anything for a cigarette. Hell, I’d even take my E-cigarette right about now.

  “I think we need to do a little work to the shelter.”

  Taborie snorts. “I’ll say. I was shivering the whole damn night.” He smiles when he glances up. “Or we could try to go higher? It may be a better chance of getting found. Or we may find somewhere we can stay that’s dryer. A cave?”

  I run my tongue over my cracking lip and squeeze my fingers together. The sun beating down on us isn’t making my no cigarette dilemma any better. And some Chap-Stick, Christ.

  I stop biting my lip when I see Taborie is waiting on me. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. What would you rather do? Fix the shelter or look for a new place. Both needs to be done.”

  He pops a Cheez-It in his mouth. “Kat and I can stay here to do this. You go with Bella to look for a new place.”

  He avoids eye contact when I gently narrow my eyes at him. Bella quickly jerks her head down to where she’s finishing Kat’s braid. “Okay. We ready then?”

  Bella stands and dusts off the dirt sticking to her legs. She’s changed out of her jeans and into a pair of shorts we found. They are a little on the small side, clearly for an older child, but it was that or a pair of hot ass sweats for her to wear. I’m happy with her choice. Not complaining.

  She gestures for me to lead the way and she follows suit. The trees are thick behind us, and I’m not even sure how far we’ll get. But we have to try. The silence takes over as we push our way through the brush. My skin burns as the limbs scrape against my already raw skin.

  Finally the trees fade further and further apart and we can make our way through easier. “Your arm is bleeding.”

  I don’t glance back at her. “It’s fine.”

  She snorts and I gently tilt my head to glance at her. She has her aggravated face on. Burrowed brows, lips pressed tightly together. And you can’t forget the eye roll. She’s definitely an eye-roller. “Just like when you had that stomach pain, huh?”

  I can’t help the smile that breaks from my lips. “You were worried,” I say, and pretend not to see Bella nervously tuck her hair behind her ears. “I was trying to play tough, Dove. It’s part of my swag.”

  A loud snort followed by laughter erupts from her face right before she cups her hand over her mouth. The wide-eyed stare and ro
sy red cheeks is the best view I’d had in weeks. “Did you just snort?”

  She shakes her head back and forth. “You would call me out on it. You could have just pretended not to notice.” Another eye roll.

  “Well, I wouldn’t get to see those cheeks blush then, now would I?” The corner of her lip turns up and she drags her eyes back up to meet mine.

  “We better get going. It looks like more rain,” her voice is softer this time. Not like before—no, I think that will take much longer. But it’s a tiny centimeter in the chance of moving past this nightmare.

  We continue for what feels like several miles but I’m sure as hell it’s only been one. The woods are slowly getting less and less. I can see the break in the forest where a river is rushing through. Over it is a small waterfall. When I start toward the opening, I feel Bella’s finger wrap around my wrist and gently pull.

  “Don’t you think there could be—bears or something?”

  “Clearly someone doesn’t pay attention in class. There aren’t many bears here. Mostly boars and wildcats.”

  She drops her grip. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? A huge bobcat is going to eat us alive. Gre-at.”

  “Well, if you don’t come on I’m not going to fight him off for you. You’ll be kitty food.”

  She makes a grand show of gesturing for me to lead the way. When we get closer to the cliff I can make out a few stones leading across the river and behind the waterfall. Before I change my mind, I offer Bella my hand. “Come on.”

  “What are you doing?” she asks.

  I lift a brow and toss my head at the waterfall. “You don’t want to go behind the waterfall with me?”

  She gently takes her bottom lip between her teeth and pulls. I have no idea what’s she thinking but whatever that look is makes my dick hard. It’s almost an answer in itself. “Of course. But you have to promise not to let me fall into the river. What if my shoe slips?”

  I watch as the water laps at the rocks. They’re plenty big enough for us to get across but I take my chance when I get it. “You want me to carry you?”

  “On your back or arms?” She’s blushing full-blown now.

  I swallow the hard lump in my throat. God—I want to take her in my arms. And not in the darkness like last night. I want to hold her close. Study that impossibly beautiful face in the sunlight. “Whichever you’re more comfortable with.”

  She nods. “Back?”

  Fuck. I turn my back to her and try not to stiffen when she wraps her small fingers around the muscles of my neck and hops on. Her legs fit snugly around my waist, and I can’t help but to help guide them around me. Despite not having a bath she’s still so soft and smells so sweet.

  I clear my throat and take the first step before I lose my mind for wanting to touch her. I clench my hands around her knees. “Hold on tight.”

  She squeezes her arms around my neck and gently squeals as I race across the rocks. She scurries down from me and gapes blankly. “What was that?”

  “It’s better to do some things quickly. If you focus too hard it’ll throw you off.”

  She gives me a sarcastic of course gesture and gently shakes her head. “So this is what behind a waterfall looks like.”

  “Yep, like a dungy cave.”

  “Pretty much,” she laughs. “For some reason, I always thought it would feel—or look—magical.”

  I run my fingertips against the rocky edge of the wall and smile. “It’s one of those things that seem so much more fun or romantic on TV. Like walking on the beach. Or sharing a plate of food.”

  I eye her as she laughs and takes a seat on the edge of the cliff and lets the water fall down on her feet. “Or swimming naked in a pond. In reality you’re scared something’s going to bite your ass.”

  I bark out a laugh. I remember that dare all too well. “No, you were scared something was going to bite your ass.”

  Her smile widens but then her lips turn down and I see the sadness take over. I’m not a selfish bastard. I know she’s going to hurt. It’s been one goddamn day. And I know I shouldn’t force anything on her—I never would. But I want to kiss away that pain etched on her face so badly is kills me.

  I hurt to see her hurting this much. And the sad thing is that I probably always will. “Why do you call me dove?” she asks. “You always have.” She turns to me. One damp leg resting on the cliff and the other swinging in and out of the waterfall.

  My stomach feels like its falling. I don’t want to do this. It’s going to hurt her. I deliberately turn the opposite way and pretend to examine the stone. “I need to know,” she whispers into the air. The words feel like they’re eating away at me. Slamming into my back as I try to ignore them.

  Before I lose my nerve, I turn and take a seat beside her. My worn boots feel heavy as I dangle my legs but it takes away from the ache in my chest. “Your wrist,” I say.

  She furrows her dark brow. “What do you mean?”

  “You have a birthmark on your wrist and it looks like a dove.”

  ***

  “Dude. She’s a fucking ten, bro. I swear I could walk her fucking legs they’re so damn long,” Jordan said before plopping down in his chair.

  I rolled my eyes and tossed my bag underneath my seat. “Sure, Jordan. Like the last one, right?”

  He shoved my shoulder. “Hey, I was a little drunk last time. I had my beer goggles on.”

  I snorted and pulled out my notebook before class. Jordan had been my best-friend since elementary school. There wasn’t one person in the world that’d ever been a better friend than him. He’d always had my back no matter what. The one time he screwed me over was the one time I was willing to forget.

  Until I realized I was in love with the one woman he beat me to. Jordan started rambling on about something while I tried to get my pen to work. Then I heard the slight squeak of the chair next to mine and froze.

  The brunette with the soft smile sat down and started pulling out her things. Jordan smacked his hand down on my desk and she jumped up right, catching me staring at her.

  Quickly, I jerked my gaze toward Jordan who was trying to show me something on his phone. “That’s her. She’s hot, isn’t she?”

  I glanced at the phone and quickly nodded. “Yeah, she’s hot. Now stop fucking slamming your fist on my desk. Turn around, asshole.”

  He flipped me off before turning around to face the front. I turned my head slightly and glanced over to her again. Her arm was extended as she wrote quickly. My gaze traveled up her delicate hand and that’s when I saw the birthmark. Shaped just like the Dove on the bar of soap.

  Dove. And it fit her. Gentle. Beautiful. There was something about this Dove that I wanted. I felt like the big bad wolf chasing after a little girl. So innocent. But I didn’t care how innocent she was, I wanted to feel that innocence against me.

  But I was too late. Always too late.

  ***

  She blinks rapidly at me for a few long seconds. I see the bells going off in her head and then the realization hits her so hard she gasps. “The note on my desk? I thought—Jordan told me …” she trails off and brings a finger to her bottom lip. “Jordan told me he put that on my desk.” She lifts her gaze to mine. “But you did?”

  Guilt is gutting me to pieces. He is your dead best-friend, Beau! Don’t fucking tell her! But I can’t lie to that face. I don’t want to lie to that face. “I did it.”

  “Wow,” she whispers. “But why? Why did you let him take the credit? You had to have heard us—we were sitting right in front of you!” Her voice is getting louder. I can see the betrayal on her face. The same betrayal I’ve felt for over a year. But I don’t want her to hate him. I can’t let her hate him. So I reach forward and cup her trembling jaw in my palm.

  “He took the credit and you seemed—happy. I didn’t want you to be disappointed if you knew it was me.”

  Goddammit. My jaw snaps shut the instant I say it. The truth. Not the truth that would make her feel better
, but the truth that’s been eating at me for an entire year. I saw her first. I noticed the way she tucked her hair behind her ear when she was nervous. I noticed the way she furrowed her brow while she took notes and rolled her eyes when someone said something completely ridiculous in class. Or that she loves those clicky pencils the best. I noticed her first.

  But Jordan asked her out first. When she looked around the room wondering who left the drawn picture of the dove on her desk, I kept my head down, wondering if she knew it was me.

  And then he noticed me looking at her, and beat me to her. And I was fine with that. Or so I fucking thought.

  Her mouth parts and forms a perfect O. If the river was deep enough I’d jump off and let the river wash me the fuck away. I can’t believe I told her that. The truth.

  She breathes out harshly and grabs the wrist that’s cupping her face. It’s a moment I dreamt of for an entire year. The moment I finally got two weeks ago at her apartment. But at what cost? My best-friend.

  Her lips part and her heavy gaze drops to my lips. And as badly as I want to slip my fingers into her hair and take her mouth with mine, I don’t. Not because I don’t want to—because goddammit if I don’t want to. But because I can’t wreck her any more than I already have. Any more than life already has.

  Before I change my mind, I drop my grip and climb to my feet. Gently, I offer her my hand. “I think this is a great place to stay. Let’s go.”

  Chapter Five

  Bella

  I pull the oversized T-shirt over my head and let it hang loosely to the middle of my thighs. The ginormous purple sweats are hideous but warm and if tonight is anything like the last, I’ll need them.

  The wind brushes by me and flips my hair from my shoulder. The fire cracks and pops from behind me, giving us a mini firework show but I don’t look. Beau told me that he set the note with the dove on my desk. I never had the chance to ask Jordan why he put that there but I wish I had.

  Because he didn’t. Beau did. And the reason makes my chest feel like it’s one hundred pounds. He tried first and I didn’t see it. I was too busy pretending to write in my notebook to avoid the opposite sex. Going into college, I was scared senseless of college boys. I blame my step-father and his ‘you’ll get pregnant if you’re not careful.’ ‘Guard your virtue,’ and all that jazz. But in reality I was scared to death.