Wrecked

by Alla Kar

  I shrug and start to clean out my ticket book, pulling out old orders and tossing them into the trash. “He’s definitely a womanizer. He’s probably had sixty—seventy girls underneath his belt.” Lie. Lie. Lie. Beau’s only been with eight girls, I know this because Jordan told me. And I dwelled on who those eight girls were for three hours after he did. I should have known why I cared so much then but I shrugged it off. But I can’t say how many he’s been with now since—I heard—he went on a fucking rampage after we got back.

  She wrinkles her nose and bites on her lower lip. “Maybe someone can calm him down.” She winks and makes this purring noise with her mouth.

  What. The. Fuck.

  Anger swarms me but I force myself not to slam her head into the countertop and run for my life. Instead, I turn and go check on my tables that I know don’t need anything and hang out in the back booth away from everyone until my tables leave.

  Once the crowd has thinned out for the night and the drunks are hunkered over the bar trying to grab Gin’s ass, I make my way back to the world of the living.

  “Watch your hands, hon. Or I may bite them off,” Gin says, giving the older man a wicked smile.

  He says something incoherently and grabs his junk. “Ewe,” I whisper as I pass her and she giggles behind her hand.

  “Where have you been all night?”

  I smile over my shoulder. “In the bathroom smoking and hiding.”

  She flips me off with a smile and leans against the counter. “So, Beau can definitely sing. God—he’ll make a nun have to change her panties.”

  I blush because I know firsthand that it’s definitely true. I shrug and try to give an unnoticeable glance his way. One hand is wrapped around the microphone stand and the other is grasping his guitar. A full-blown smile is spread across his face as he talks to some guy standing beside him.

  And then I see Bethany walking past the bar and toward the stage. She stands on her tip-toes and gives him a small wave. I try to make out what she’s saying but I’m too far away.

  “—and he asked me to suck his cock. The old bastard actually asked me to suck his cock. Like I want his nasty hairy balls anywhere near my face,” Gin says. “Bella!” She claps her hands loudly enough that Beau glances up at me and Bethany turns around to look at us.

  I turn as quick as I can and give Gin a what the hell look. “I was listening,” I lie.

  “Yeah,” she snorts. “Right. You were totally watching them. What’s up with you two? You going to tell me?”

  I sigh, clock out and return my timecard to its slot. “Long story and I’m ready to go home. Maybe tomorrow.”

  She purses her lips. “I’m holding you to that, chicka.”

  “See you later.”

  I grab my purse and keys before bolting out of the door. I’m about to touch the driver’s door when I feel a hand land on my shoulder. Beau’s standing over me when I turn around.

  His blue eyes glisten from the moonbeams shining down on us and the dim streetlamps in the distance. “You okay?” he dips his head and asks. I watch his lips part as he waits for my answer.

  I nervously shift my things from one hand to the other. “I’m fine, why do you ask?”

  He swallows and kicks at some rocks beneath us. “I didn’t see you much tonight. Thought I would ask.”

  “Just busy. You really brought in the crowd tonight.”

  He smiles, but it falls when he sees the look on my face. “For some reason I don’t think you’re happy about that.”

  “I’m fine about it. More tips.”

  Stroking his jaw, he examines me closely. “More tips, right. So,” he scratches the back of his neck. “Are you coming to the party Saturday?”

  I’d been avoiding the fact that Ashley and Cody are having a party. I shrug. “I don’t know yet. You?”

  “Yeah, I’m going to go,” he says, but I hear the disappointment in his voice. There is an awkward silence, and I hear a few crickets singing in the distance.

  “I talked to Ashley today and she said her aunt has an opening Monday morning. You up for it?”

  God—so soon. I was hoping we could wait for a week. Or four. I open my mouth to say something when I hear, “Beau, wait up.”

  Bethany comes racing out of the building, holding Beau’s guitar in her hands. “You forgot this.”

  “Nah, I was coming back in to get it. Thanks though.” He takes it but she doesn’t leave.

  Her smile is really wide—more like fake—as she waits patiently for Beau to follow behind her.

  He clears his throat. “I’ll see you inside,” he says.

  Her eyes narrow a smidge but she finally turns and trudges back inside Maddie’s. I watch her until the loud metal door shuts behind her.

  When I turn back Beau’s smiling ear to ear. “What?” I snap.

  He rubs the back of his neck and then another smile cracks on his face. “You’re jealous?”

  What! “No,” I say shaking my head back and forth. “I’m not jealous. I just don’t like her.”

  “You did the other day,” he says, picking at his finger while he fights back a laugh.

  I puff my cheeks out and turn back to my car. “I’ll be at the appointment on Monday.”

  My fingers curl around the handle of my car. “What is that?’ he asks in my ear, his voice heavy and gritty behind me.

  “What’s what?” I ask, but don’t turn around.

  A featherlike touch travels over my thin white T-shirt and the rise from the bandage covering my tattoo. “I—I got a tattoo,” I whisper, nerves taking over me.

  “Can I see?” he asks, and for some reason I know he knows what it says.

  “We’re out in the open,” I say.

  “My Jeep is parked out back,” he whispers, still talking to my back.

  Even though I know it’s a bad idea, I start walking toward the back of Maddie’s. I hear the crunching of his footsteps behind me as I near his Jeep.

  Once I’m in, I feel a comfort settle over me. The passenger seat is still pushed to the front from the last time I was in it. Once he settles his keys into the ignition, I pull my shirt over my head. A burning blush is scorching my skin but in the back of my mind I know he’s seen way more of me than this.

  Turning, I wait as he peels back the bandage off my skin and then stills. I know he’s reading the small quote and I can’t imagine what’s going on in his head or the look that’s on his face.

  The tip of his index finger trails over the cursive writing. “The reason is you,” he says beneath his breath. “Yeah, the reason is you.”

  Chills swarm me, and I push my shirt back on before he says anything else. When I turn to him I don’t know what to say, my brain is sputtering words but my mouth won’t open.

  Beau rests the hand that was touching me on my forearm—gently—and smiles. “I’ll see you Monday, Bella.”

  “Monday.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Beau

  My forehead is pressed against my forearm that’s braced against the shower wall. The water turned cold a long time ago, but I’m still here, jerking my meat like I’m a fourteen-year-old boy that found his dad’s Playboy magazines.

  The reason is you …

  It’s all I’ve been able to think about since last night. The warmth I felt when I saw it hasn’t left. And since then I can’t help but be constantly reminded that there is hope. That even though we’re not exactly there yet, there is hope that I can have her—one day. That brings me to thinking about her every second and I can only do that for so long before having to jack off.

  I know—pathetic.

  But it’s the damn truth.

  When I’m finished, I dry off and get dressed. I try to look decent because even though Bella said she didn’t know if she was coming, I know Ashley’s been trying to wear her down this week and she’s been pulling out the big guns for this one.

  And I have faith in Ashley’s persuasion skills because that girl talks Cody
into some crazy shit sometimes.

  Once I’m dressed, I slip on my watch and dash out of my apartment in a hurry. My radio blasts on the way to Cody’s apartment, and it sooths my nerves. There really isn’t a damn reason to be nervous now—I’ve had Bella in every way besides the one I want the most. Because to have all of her—heart, soul—all of it would have to be there. And part of her heart is missing—throbbing—right now and I have to wait until she’s ready to take our relationship to the next step.

  If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. If I have to be her friend for three more goddamn—miserable—years, I’ll do it.

  Sometimes the finish line isn’t your striving point, it’s going back to right your wrongs from the past—the beginning—that leads you where you need to be.

  I hear the music when I step onto the third floor. Cody always has the best parties because the owner of the complex’s son is one of Cody’s best-friends. And when he’s on duty he lets him do whatever he pleases until the other tenants start to complain.

  I push the slightly cracked door open and step into the room, shutting the door all the way behind me. Cody’s apartment isn’t very big so there are only around twenty-five people—which is cramped—all shoved into the kitchen and the living room.

  Pushing my way through the crowd, I search for any sign of someone I know. I finally find Cody sitting on his gamer chair in the middle of the floor, surrounded by empty beer bottles, playing Guitar Hero with some girl.

  “Beau! Beau!” I turn and see Ashley waving me over to the kitchen counter. When I get there she smiles and hands me a beer. “I’m so glad you came!” she yells over the music.

  “Do you know if Bella is coming?” I ask.

  “What?” she asks, cupping her hand to her ear.

  I lean down closer to her ear. “Bella, do you know if Bella is coming tonight?”

  She pulls back with a frown and shrugs her shoulders. Something inside of me aches but I play it off by taking a long sip of my drink. My back is starting to hurt from this damn bar stool, but before long I make my way to the small loveseat and start my third beer.

  My eyes drift closed but as soon as my head starts to fall I jerk back upward and rub my eyes until they burn. I might as well go home. There isn’t anything good for me here.

  I reach over to tell Cody I’m leaving when I see her walk in. The short dress she’s wearing hangs to her mid-thigh, giving me a peak at her long legs beneath it. The dress fits to her small waist and dips down low in the front, showing the nice curves of her breasts.

  And she’s staring right at me. She plays with the end of the long loose brown braid that’s hanging over her shoulder. Ashley runs to her and wraps her arm around her but she keeps her eyes glued to me.

  And I know this is the moment. This is the moment we should have had before Jordan asked her out. This is how we were supposed to meet. This is my moment to start over. She’s daring me with her eyes to come over to her.

  So I do.

  Her gray eyes never leave mine—all the while Ashley is whispering in her ear, and the music is rattling the pictures on the wall. But we’re still holding gazes, like no one else is in this room. We’re alone.

  When I get to her, my breath is stuck in my throat. What to say? She looks so beautiful—I just want to drag her to Cody’s bedroom and kick everyone out. But starting over doesn’t start with the bed, it starts with letting her know she’s safe with me. That I’ll wait until I’m gray—because I love her.

  “You want to dance?” I ask, my voice deeper than I imagined it would be. Ashley snaps her head toward me and then back at Bella before she sinks back into the blur of everyone around us. She disappears into the swarm of people.

  She nods, and lets me lead her a few steps into the cluster of people swaying to the slow song. I grab her waist, turn her and pull her against me. Her sweet scent makes my dick move in my jeans and I hope she doesn’t feel it. Her body begins to relax, and she moves her waist to a steady pace, her head rocking gently back and forth, giving me the delicious view of her neck.

  The bandage is off of her tattoo, the risen skin so perfectly placed on the smooth curve of her shoulder. I dip my head and smell the soft scent that’s making me crazy but pull back as I get the urge to trail my lips over her. Not yet.

  We dance until a thin layer of sweat is covering both of us. Until half of the party has gone home or passed out on Cody’s floor. The music is a blur of different rhythms for us to sway to. A different direction we turn our bodies but all the same. I’m here with her in my arms and it’s all that matters now.

  Her mouth parts and I watch as she closes her eyes and rests her head against my shoulder, never stopping her swaying hips. She grazes her hands against the back of my neck, sliding her nails against the skin until I grip her waist tighter.

  The minutes pass in such a rush that it’s two o’clock by the time our high of each other dwindles down and I pull away to look around. Cody’s bedroom door is shut, and a few random people are zonked out on the floor.

  A giggle slips from Bella’s lips. “Looks like everyone is either asleep or at home.” She digs her cell from her pocket. “Two,” she says, running her hand through her hair. “I didn’t even realize it was this late,” she breathes out.

  “You drove?’ I ask, disappointment rushing through me. I don’t want to go home just yet.

  She nods, and picks up her wedged shoes that she shed a few hours ago. “Yeah, but—you could take me home if you wanted to?” Her cheeks turn a few shades darker as she busies herself with her shoes.

  “I’d love to,” I say offering her my hand.

  She slips her small fingers into my palm and we walk toward my Jeep. The silence is comfortable on the way home. With the windows rolled down, the skirt of her dress blows in the cool wind, sending her into a pathetic attempt to hold her skirt down while giggling the entire time.

  I’ve never heard her giggle this much but it makes me diamond hard. When we get to her apartment complex, I jump out before she gets scared and says bye to me in my Jeep.

  I race to the other side and take her hand as she steps down from the railing on my Jeep. “Thanks,” her voice is a whisper. Her soft footsteps are masked by my heavy ones as we make our way toward her apartment.

  The keys dangling at her side aren’t being lifted toward the door once we stop. No—she’s waiting and I know exactly what for because I’ve been longing for it all night. “I’m glad you came.”

  Her keys jingle in her hand as she starts playing with the end of one of her key chains. She’s adorably nervous. “I am too. At first I wasn’t going to come but then I just—I knew I needed to. I had this urge to get up and just go.” She lifts her gray gaze to mine. “So I did.”

  I nod and shove my hands into the depth of my jeans pocket. “So you did.” I rock back on my heels and inwardly groan at myself. Stop being a pussy, Beau.

  “It was nice seeing you tonight Bella.” Lame. Lame. Lame.

  She smiles again, more pink nipping at her cheeks. “It was really nice.”

  God—how lame can I be? I open my mouth five times and then close it right afterwards. “I was trying avoid the awkwardness but I’m having a little trouble.”

  Her head falls back in a laugh and she pulls back while nodding. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

  Okay, stop being a pansy. Stepping forward, I cup my hand against the side of her jaw. “I told myself when I came out tonight that if you did come, I was going to do this the right way.”

  The skin between her brows pinch. “And what way is the right way?”

  I smile. “To take this easy on you—both of us. I love you so much, Bella. And I’m here for the long run. There is no running away from me. Or ignoring me. My heart can’t take it anymore. And if being your friend—or friends that kiss—I’ll do it.”

  Tears start to form in her eyes and her bottom lips trembles. “Friends—kiss though right? I mean sometimes it’s okay? I’ve h
eard of that before.”

  I hold back my laugh and nod my head, even though we know friends don’t kiss like we kiss. “I think in our case we can. Just once—or four, five, six times.”

  Another laugh leaves her throat, and I’m undone. With the hand cupping her jaw, I run the pad of my thumb over that trembling bottom lip. “Your taste is so addicting, Bella. I swear I taste you for hours after we kiss. Your mouth is delicious.”

  Her eyes drift shut, and that’s basically waving the white flag at a car show. I dip my head lower, my lips skimming hers, dancing over her parting—waiting—lips. When I do press against her, her mouth is hot and ready, parting almost immediately.

  But I stop it—I reach around and grip the nape of her neck, guiding her mouth against mine slowly. This is a first kiss, not our fourth or fifth. First, and I’m going to give her the first kiss that she deserves.

  My mouth molds to hers, giving her a slow and deliriously hot pace that’s making my self-control falter by the second. A soft moan leaves her throat and I grip her neck tighter, bringing her even closer to me still. One of her small hands grabs onto my shirt and pulls me closer to her mouth. Before I know it, she leans back against her door and I’m hovering over her, blocking out any chance of anyone seeing her.

  When she begins to tug at my clothes, I bite back every alpha instinct to kick down her door and give her what she wants, and damn myself to hell if I don’t release this pretty, little pouty mouth. No more regretful or guilty mornings for us. We’re going to be ready before I do this again.

  I pull away, her mouth instantly parts and she begins breathing harshly against me. We’re not looking at each other—only holding each other tight. Her fingers around my shirt and my hands in her hair and on her hip. We breathe each other in for several minutes before I pull backwards and get the balls to meet her gaze.

  She’s flushed. Her mouth parted and ready, and her chest heaving. She wants me just as badly as I want her. “Goodnight, Bella,” I strain through gritted teeth. “I’ll see you Monday, Dove.”

  I turn and force myself away from her trembling body. “Goodnight, Beau,” I hear softly as I take large strides to get home and take a cold shower.