Trading Places

by Fern Michaels

  “Really! You don’t have any conferences or summer classes scheduled?”

  “Nope. I was going to putter around upstairs installing new woodwork and new door frames. I can do that over Christmas break. I think we’re going to need a plan, though.”

  “You’re real good with plans, Alex. Why don’t you do that while I take Gus out for his walk. Then, if you don’t mind, I’m going to bed. I know you cooked, and I should be doing the cleaning up, but I’ll do both next time. Okay?”

  “Well, sure.” Now, tell her now. Get it over with. He knew he wasn’t going to tell her because if he did, she wouldn’t sleep all night long. She’d also demand to be taken to her house, something he wanted to avoid as long as possible. Morning would be time enough.

  He was a whirling dervish as he cleared the table, stacked the dishwasher, and scrubbed out the spaghetti pot because it was too big for the dishwasher. The leftovers would do for lunch for a few days. He was sitting at the table, his feet propped on a chair, smoking his pipe and swigging on a Corona, when Aggie returned.

  “You’re going to make someone a good wife.” Aggie grinned.

  “When and if I get married, I’m hanging up my apron and my culinary skills. I only cook because I don’t want to starve.

  “Aggie, I think you should call your sister from here. They might have bugged your phone at home. They do that on television all the time.”

  “Oh, you’re good! I was thinking the same thing on my walk.” She looked over at the digital clock on the stove. “Vegas is three hours behind us, so it’s only five o’clock there, which means Lizzie should still be home. I wish you could see the penthouse where she lives. It’s got wraparound windows, and her view is of the whole city. At night, it boggles your mind. It’s really luxurious. It’s a comp. That means it’s free. All her food is comped, and so is her car. She drives a candy-apple red Mercedes convertible. She even gets a clothing allowance from the man she works for. Of course, if anything goes awry, like she hits a losing streak, it’s all gone.”

  “We’re in the wrong business, Aggie. How much does she make a year, do you know?”

  “Different amounts. It depends on how high the stakes are. She gets a percentage of her winnings. She travels all over the country for the guy she works for. The advantage of Lizzie’s working for someone else is that he covers her losses on the rare occasion that she losses and pays her expenses, which are pretty high. Lizzie is a smart cookie who likes the good life and knows how to play the angles.

  “Do you know what she really wants to do? She just does the gambling thing because she’s good at it, and it pays off big-time.” Alex shook his head. “She wants to open a dive shop on one of the islands. Her real passion is the water. She loves to snorkel, deepsea dive, and just swim. Two more years and she can do it and own everything outright. And she won’t have to touch her principal. She can be a beach bunny for the rest of her life. She has a degree in marine biology plus a master’s. My sister might be a wild card, but she’s smart as hell.”

  “Maybe she can open a produce stand next to her dive shop and sell your carrots.” Alex guffawed.

  “That wasn’t funny. Look, I’m not laughing. Don’t ever make fun of my sister again. Hand me the damn phone.”

  Aggie dialed her sister’s private number and waited. “It’s Aggie. Listen, sis, I need to talk to you. Yeah, well, I’ve been kind of busy the last six months. You told me you could take a vacation anytime you wanted. Can you take three months off? You can. Great. Listen, this is what I want you to do….”

  Chapter Two

  Gus started to howl, a bloodcurdling sound of anger, the moment he raced up the steps to the front porch. Alex watched, his body twitching, as Aggie’s shoulders stiffened. She knew something was wrong just the way the big shepherd knew. He heard her in-drawn breath, heard her exhale before she fit the key into the lock.

  I should have told her. He was gutless. A real wuss. No, I’m not. I just wanted to spare her, he answered himself.

  The shepherd was in a frenzy as he raced through the house, stopping to sniff, to howl, to growl, then whine. He knew there had been intruders, knew the furniture was new.

  Aggie sat down on the double chair and looked up at him. “You did all this, right?” He nodded. “I had a feeling something like this happened. How bad was it?”

  “As bad as it gets. My first thought was they were looking for something. Whatever it was, they must not have found it because they destroyed everything in the house. I must say, you’re taking this rather well.”

  Aggie put her finger to her lips and mouthed the word, bug. Her eyes sparked with anger that she was trying to control. He nodded to show he understood. “I told you I was expecting it. I don’t know why, I just was. When a house is closed up for six months, something is bound to happen. I really don’t understand the crime scene tape, though. Did someone in the neighborhood call in a prowler? Did the police come to investigate and find this? Is that why they put the tape up? The strange thing is, no one told me. Now I have to file an insurance claim. I can’t imagine what they were looking for? They didn’t take the television or VCR. Maybe they had the wrong house. I don’t have any jewelry that’s valuable. I have insurance, so I’ll be able to pay you back after I file a claim.”

  “I know my taste in furniture is a little different than yours. But everything is clean and new, and that’s the way it should be right now. Later, when you get your cop legs back and are full of your usual spit and vinegar, you can redecorate. You should walk around, Aggie, and see if anything is missing. Paying me back is the least of your problems right now.”

  “I think I might go back to work, Alex. I don’t want to sit around and think. That’s not good, even I know that. I’ll take the rest of the week off and next week, too. By then, I’ll be ready to do what I do best. I want to go out to the cemetery and put some flowers on Tom’s grave. I understand their not telling me he died in the very beginning, but why didn’t they tell me his family pulled the plug?”

  “I don’t know, Aggie.” Playing along in case there was a bug in the house, Alex continued, “I’ll leave you alone now. If you need me for anything, just call.”

  “Okay, Alex. Thanks for everything. By the way, do you know where my car is?”

  “It was in the impound lot. I had it taken out yesterday. It’s being serviced. They promised to deliver it this afternoon. If you want to go somewhere, I can take you.”

  “The porch looks so bare. I thought I would get some flowers. I love getting the porch ready for spring and summer. If it’s not too much trouble, yes, you can take me. I just want to go upstairs for a minute.”

  Upstairs, Aggie followed Gus as they inspected the bedrooms and the bath. Everything was new. It even smelled new. She felt like crying. Sometimes life just wasn’t fair. She dropped to her knees to hug the big dog. “I know you have a new bed, but so do I. We’re going to make this work, we really are. We just have to get used to it.”

  Ten minutes later they were on their way to the garden center, where Aggie bought Gerber daisies, geraniums, impatiens, and tubs of mixed flowers. She also bought packages of carrot seeds and two books on gardening. Alex grinned when he saw the packets of seeds. One of the workers from the center followed them home in his pickup, the cargo area loaded with Aggie’s plants.

  In the Pathfinder, Alex quizzed her. “Do you know what they were looking for, Aggie? I don’t think I told you this, but both your doors were locked when I got there yesterday. The dead bolts were on the kitchen door, and I had to use the key to the front door. I’m thinking someone had or has a key to your house, so I recommend you call a locksmith as soon as you get home to have the locks changed.”

  “I don’t have a clue as to what someone might have been looking for. Maybe my journal. It isn’t really a journal. It’s an old day planner where I used to jot down things. Tom knew about it. He had a notebook, too. All cops do. He used to razz me and say things like, ‘you better not be
putting anything in there about me or the guys.’ Macho guy stuff that I ignored. And, yes, I will call a locksmith. I made that decision the minute I walked into the house.”

  Alex took his eyes off the busy road for a moment to look across at her. “Did they find the journal?” He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until it escaped his lips in a hissing sound.

  “No, because it wasn’t in the house. It’s in my gym bag in the trunk of my car. If they went through the bag, then yes, they probably found it. I guess I won’t know until they bring my car back.”

  Tom looked worried. “Exactly what did you write in that journal, Aggie?”

  He looked so nice this morning in his jeans and his dark green Polo shirt. She should look half as good. The minute she saw how Lizzie was wearing her hair, she’d get her own styled the same way. Until then, she was just going to have to look like a ragamuffin in Alex’s oversize shirt and sweatpants. Maybe she should have changed into her own clothes before going to the nursery. Too late now. She shrugged.

  “You’re a million miles away, girl. What are you thinking?”

  “I was thinking how nice you look and how tacky I look. To answer your earlier question, I wrote down in the journal everything Tom told me, and the date he told me. There were things he said he could prove and other things he said he couldn’t prove. Suppositions. I wrote down all his suspicions. And I wrote down his reaction and the things he said when I broke up with him months ago.”

  Alex cleared his throat. He looked more than a little uneasy. “Would you call that journal a smoking gun? I saw that on TV, too. Those cop shows always have a smoking gun.”

  “If you were Dutch Davis, Joe Sonders, or Will Fargo, you’d consider it a smoking gun. To anyone else it would be just a bunch of suspicions.”

  “If they didn’t find it, what are you going to do with it?”

  “Maybe send it to myself in care of General Delivery. I’ll pick it up when I get to the farm. Maybe I’ll give it to Lizzie, but I’ll make copies first. I’m not sure yet. There may be nothing to this at all, and I’m simply being paranoid.”

  “You didn’t see your house yesterday, Aggie. Whoever ransacked it had a damn key. This isn’t a television program where everything is wrapped up in sixty minutes. What if they try again?”

  “I’m aware now. I have my gun back, and I also have Gus. I know those guys. They’ll lie low for a while before they make another move. Stop acting like a nervous father, Alex.”

  Alex was so worried he almost hit a dark blue pickup truck blasting music so loud it hurt his eardrums.

  A nervous father was the last thing he wanted to appear as. Nor did he want to give the impression he was a nervous anything. He knew in his gut the whole thing was going to start to snowball, and he’d be on some farm outside Altoona, Pennsylvania, helping to plant organic carrots. “I hope you’re right.”

  “Do you mind stopping at an ATM? I need to withdraw some money so I can pay for all those flowers. Do you mind loaning me your ATM card? We’ll settle up tomorrow. My purse is in the trunk of my car, too. I just hate owing money, especially for all of Gus’s medical expenses. I wonder why the department didn’t pick those up?”

  “Because they thought he was going to die, that’s why, and they didn’t want to spend the money for emergency vet and surgical services. I threatened to go to the newspapers and television if they didn’t let me call in a private vet. They had no choice. This is just a guess on my part, Aggie, but won’t Gus be able to pick up those guys’ scents if they get close enough?”

  “Yes. I plan to keep him away from them. I don’t want to traumatize him any more than I have to. You need to find another dog that looks like Gus so when Lizzie and I make the switch, no one will be the wiser. You have a couple of days to do that since Lizzie won’t arrive till the weekend. And, Alex…”

  “What?”

  “They’re going to be watching you, too, so stay alert. I’m really sorry you got involved in all of this. You can, of course, go home and forget all about us. I’ll never hold that against you.”

  Alex swallowed hard. “Is this going to be a Serpico operation? I saw that movie you know. At least ten times. What if when this is all over, you have to go across the world and hide out like he did?” He could feel his loss already. He told himself he was overreacting. He hoped he was right.

  Aggie sighed. “God, I hope not. That guy lived in Europe for a long time, before coming back to live in upstate New York. Look, I’m not saying, and Tom wasn’t saying the whole department was into that dirty cop thing, just those three guys. At least that’s what I thought he was thinking. I just don’t want to believe Tom was in on it with them. I’m going to show you their pictures when we get back to the house so you can be on the lookout. They can only stake us out when they’re off duty and on their days off. It’s the way it is, Alex. Are you sorry you’re involving yourself?”

  “No. I need to know everything, though. You have told me everything, haven’t you?”

  “Everything I know.”

  Alex parked on a side street while Aggie walked back half a block to the ATM. The pickup truck with the load of flowers parked behind him. He smiled as Aggie sashayed along in his sweats, which hung on her slim frame like a wrinkled old sack. Compared to her, he was sorely lacking in the guts department.

  Five minutes later she was back in the car with three hundred dollars in her hand. “I feel rich.” She grinned.

  Ten minutes later, he dropped her off at her house and proceeded out to the highway. On the way home he made a stop at a high-tech electronics store. He felt nonplussed as he looked at the wide array of gadgets for sale. He also felt ridiculous when he asked for a device that would detect electronic bugs. The young man didn’t seem to think his request was ridiculous at all as he pulled out device after device, extolling the virtues of each. “Now, you take this one, it’s top-of-the-line and can detect a device that’s been planted in your car or under your car. Each time you get into your car, make a sweep. The tracking device can function up to a hundred miles, providing you have a transmitter and a receiver. It costs extra, but it’s the one I recommend.”

  “Okay, I’ll take it.” He felt like the television character Colombo as he made his way out of the store. All he needed was a baggy trench coat. He didn’t need any help in the looking-dumb department. He could manage that on his own.

  The following day, Alex drove to Marietta, Georgia, where he purchased a German shepherd named Alice that looked so much like Gus it was downright scary. Unfortunately, Alice was a female shepherd. He dithered for a whole hour before he made his decision to buy the dog, who loved him on sight. He hoped the three cops in question wouldn’t be getting close enough to the dog to inspect her anatomy. Plus, the Big Three, as Aggie called them, weren’t K-9 handlers.

  In the end he felt pleased with himself when he dropped the dog off at a local vet clinic to get bathed and groomed. They agreed to board her until Saturday, when he would pick her up at noon or as close to noon as possible. The switch would take place when Lizzie arrived in town over the weekend. He mentally patted himself on the shoulder when he exited the vet’s office. With a little more practice, he just might turn into an acceptable gumshoe. He winced at the thought. On the other hand, he could excel at helping Aggie raise organic carrots. And to think he went to college to be an engineer and then all those added years of schooling until he got his doctorate. He could probably make more money detecting and growing carrots on the side. The thought was so funny, he laughed until his sides ached.

  Now he was going home to heat up his leftover spaghetti.

  It was midafternoon when Aggie carried her cheese sandwich out to the front steps. She sat down, Gus at her side. Her front porch was clean now, the windows sparkling, the white wicker chairs gleaming. The flowered cushions were every bit as vibrant as the clay pots of flowers that lined the railing and the steps.

  The minute Alex rode off, she’d gone upstairs to change h
er clothes. When she removed his sweats she held them up to her cheek. Even though she’d been wearing them, they still smelled like Alex. She folded them neatly and placed them on a shelf in her closet.

  Now she wore a pair of yellow Capri pants with a matching tee shirt. She wished she’d chosen a shirt with three-quarter sleeves. Her arms were thin and bony. The whole of her was thin and bony. Her hair, which hadn’t been cut or styled in six months, was tied back in a ponytail. Keds, because they were lighter, instead of clunky running shoes, adorned her feet. She was exhausted from cleaning the windows and scrubbing the porch, not to mention watering all the plants. She probably needed a nap, but she couldn’t take one until her car was delivered.

  She finished the sandwich before she attacked the pint of ice cream she’d carried out on a tray. She ate it all and licked the spoon while Gus chewed contentedly on a rawhide bone.