Trading Places

by Fern Michaels

  Lizzie rubbed at her neck. She was starting to feel achy and hoped she wasn’t coming down with something. “We can’t prove there was anything in those boxes except what we’re seeing. For all we know, there might have been books or magazines on butterflies inside. All the suspicions, all the intuition in the world isn’t going to change a thing. Cold hard facts backed up with proof are what counts.”

  “Are you saying the brothers are going to get away with it? Here, let me do that. Sit still. I have magic fingers.”

  “Ooooh, that feels good. Don’t stop. Hmmm. For now they’re getting away with it. Right now, like I said, they’re full of panic and not thinking clearly. All they see is all that money. They’ve embarked on a life of fear. They’ll be looking over their shoulders for the rest of their lives. Daniel Fargo seemed like a decent man. I’m sure the other brother is the same way. They saw the money, and their world turned upside down. Not that this is any consolation, but half the people in this world would have reacted the same way.” She half turned, her face in profile. She felt his lips on her neck, then on her throat. There was no reason to object, so when his lips found hers, she met them eagerly.

  “Hmmmm. Oh, yes. Hmmmm.”

  Chapter Nine

  Lizzie opened one eye and looked around. She felt drugged, as if she’d taken a sleeping pill and still had five hours of sleep to go. She squeezed her eyes shut and stretched out her legs. Naked legs. Legs that felt something next to them. This time, both eyes flew open. She gingerly moved one leg and then the other. Her arm moved just as gingerly. She almost yelped in surprise. She was naked as a jaybird, her partner the same.

  “You looking’ for gold or something?” a sleepy voice inquired.

  “Or something,” Lizzie muttered. “Is this where we ask one another if we’ll still be respecting one another?”

  “Oh, I respect you all right. In my wildest dreams I never expected…”

  “What? What did you never expect?” Lizzie asked shrilly.

  “That you would be so…”

  “So what?” Lizzie asked even more shrilly.

  “So uninhibited. For some reason I had you down as a prude. Well, not exactly a prude but…I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to be so…boisterous.”

  Lizzie reared up, yanking at one of the yellow towels to cover her bosom. “Boisterous? Boisterous! Is that what you said, boisterous?”

  “Did I say agile, too? Man, you can move.”

  Agile. To her ears it sounded like he was comparing her to a trapeze artist. Lizzie wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. Unlike Aggie, she was agile. She sniffed to show what she thought of his assessment.

  If he was a smart man, Nathan would have left it alone. Instead, because he was so happy, he ran with his runaway tongue. “I thought you were going to be full of scars and wounds and stuff. You’re unblemished.”

  Oh shit! “You were looking at my body?” Pretend anger rang in Lizzie’s voice. God, how was she going to get out of this one?

  “Well, hell, Aggie, we were…you did…how could I help but…you were looking at me, too, and don’t deny it,” Nathan blustered.

  Aggie had said if all else failed, she was to lie. “Not that it’s any of your business, Nathan, but I had plastic surgery because…because the scars were so…so ugly. The department’s insurance paid for it all.”

  “You should thank that surgeon then because he did a hell of a job. I bet in real daylight on the beach in a bikini you can’t tell a thing. I expected you to be a little more on the scrawny side with all the weight they said you lost. You looked real bony at that news conference.”

  “This would be a real good time for you to shut up, Nathan. I’m having a hard time realizing you and I had sex on some strange man’s floor in the middle of the night. Right now I do not care to discuss my scars or lack thereof or my bony frame or my enthusiastic response to…to…”

  “You sure can whoop and holler. I loved it. You got right into it. I do like a willing partner who’s experimental. At one point, I thought smoke was coming out of my ears.”

  Experimental. His voice was so delirious-sounding, Lizzie wanted to smack him. It was all coming back to her now. In her life she’d never had such satisfying sex. Her face was suddenly so hot she wondered if she was running a fever. “I’m going to take a shower.”

  “Let’s do it together. Shower I mean. I’ll soap your back, and you soap mine.”

  “You wish. Go downstairs and make some coffee. I don’t think Mr. Fargo will mind. He’s probably never going to come back here anyway. This whole thing is mind-boggling. If the local police knew we were here doing what we’ve been doing, they would be entirely justified in arresting us. Prison pallor is a terrible thing,” Aggie said, clutching the towels to her body as she stomped her way to the bathroom. Before she slammed the door shut and locked it, she thought she heard Nathan mumble something about still waters running deep. She locked the door, not because she didn’t trust Nathan Hawk but because she didn’t trust herself.

  Downstairs, one of the yellow towels wrapped around his naked middle, Nathan fixed the coffeepot. While it dripped, his mind raced. It was still racing when he got out the milk, the sugar, and the cups. He looked around for Aggie’s purse and found it in the living room where she’d dropped it. He carried it into the kitchen where he opened it and pulled out her gun. It looked obscene. It looked heavy, and it looked deadly. He picked it up and almost dropped it, surprised at how heavy it was. He used both hands to steady the gun.

  When Aggie entered the kitchen ten minutes later, Nathan was standing with his back to the stove, straight in front of her. She skidded to an abrupt stop. She was about to give Nathan a verbal tongue-lashing when he narrowed his eyes, and said, “Just who the hell are you? Don’t even think about telling me you’re Aggie Jade.”

  If Lizzie hadn’t reached for the doorframe, she would have fainted with shock. She did her best to marshal her thoughts. She needed to be quick and fast. “What are you talking about? I hope you have the safety on that weapon. This isn’t funny, Nathan. Never pick up a gun unless you plan on using it. Day one at the Academy.”

  Nathan’s eyes were almost slits now. Both his hands had steadied on the gun he was holding. “Let me worry about the safety. Stay right where you are. No more lies. I’m only going to ask you one more time, who the hell are you?”

  Lizzie almost fainted a second time when she heard the safety click back. “You know what, you are crazy! Put the safety back on that gun before you end up killing one of us. I’m Aggie. What’s your problem, Nathan?”

  “You’re my problem, whoever you are. First it was your teeth that were crooked, then they weren’t crooked, then your dog who is supposed to be a boy dog but turns out to be a girl dog. A dog who used to like me but hates me now and doesn’t answer to the name Gus. You looked emaciated a few weeks ago but, boy, you sure are voluptuous now. I didn’t feel any scars anywhere on your body to indicate surgery of any kind. No matter how fine the surgeon was who operated on you, it would still take more than a year for the scars to fade. That’s for starters.”

  “I explained all that. You mean there’s more?” Lizzie kept her eyes on the gun the whole time she was talking. She knew she could take him, but didn’t want to have the gun go off and some neighbor call the police. The last thing she needed was to be carted off to jail.

  “Hell, yes, there’s more. Aggie Jade does not have a tattoo on her ass. You know how I know this, Miss whoever the hell you are? Aggie and I had a talk once over lunch when I was trying to pump some information out of her. At the time, some girl walked past our table and she had a tattoo on her shoulder. Aggie said she would never, ever, under any circumstance mar her body with a tattoo. She gave me a ten-minute dissertation on dirty needles and hepatitis C. Then you show up with a nice big butterfly on your ass. C’mon, I’m waiting to hear your next lie. My finger is getting itchy. Butterflies. That guy who died had a thing about butterflies. There are bu
tterflies upstairs. Are you in this with those creeps? Did they ace you out of your share of the money? Did you set me up to come here? I want a damn answer and I want it now!” Nathan waved the gun in a wide arc.

  He had her, and she knew it. “Put the safety on the gun, and I’ll tell you what you want to know. Lay the gun on the counter and walk away from it. Otherwise, shoot me now.”

  “Like I’m really going to do that. You talk, and you talk now. Don’t think you can sweet-talk me because of that wild romp in the sack either.” His voice was so virtuous, so offended, Lizzie almost laughed.

  Instead, Lizzie clenched her teeth. She was a professional gambler. A damn good one, too. Right now she had to make a decision. “Go to hell, Nathan.” She turned and walked into the dining room and then the living room. She was betting her life on the fact that Nathan Hawk wouldn’t fire the gun. She prayed with each step she took. When she entered the living room, she sat down on what was probably Daniel Fargo’s favorite chair. She waited.

  She heard him before she saw him. He looked rather cute with the towel wrapped around his middle. He still held the gun, but the safety was on. Lizzie heaved an inward sigh of relief. He was only a few inches away from her. She thought he looked confused. She looked up at him at the same time her hand snaked out to rip the towel away. Seconds later Nathan Hawk was on the floor with Lizzie’s foot on his neck. “How’s that for agility, Mr. Hawk? You don’t ever want to pull a gun on me, or anyone else, unless you’re prepared to shoot. Is that clear?”

  “Awk.”

  “I told you I would tell you what you wanted to know if you put the safety on and put the gun on the counter. I guess where the gun is right now is good enough. You move, and I’ll crush your neck. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  “Awk.”

  “I’m going to take that as a yes. Too bad you can’t take notes, Mr. Reporter. I’m Aggie’s sister, Lizzie. We’re twins. Aggie never wanted anyone to know about me because of my…my colorful lifestyle. In my line of work, I didn’t actually brag about my sister the cop either. It worked for us.

  “I didn’t even know Aggie was wounded or that she had almost died until she was back home and called me. I feel really bad about that. When Aggie asked me to take her place, I didn’t think twice. I packed up and came right away. Aggie recovered, but even she knew she wasn’t ready to return to work. She didn’t want to take the ninety days’ leave she still had coming to her because she thought the trail leading to Tom Madsen’s murderers would grow colder than it already was. Aggie’s in Pennsylvania raising organic carrots. We can call her on your cell phone if you like.”

  Nathan shook his head as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Raising organic carrots?” he mumbled.

  Lizzie ignored his comment. “Yes, I’m impersonating a police officer, and yes, I know the penalty for doing that. Aggie and I both thought it was worth the risk. My dog is named Alice. Aggie has Gus with her. We needed a dog that looked like Gus, and Alice was the only one who could pass for him. We didn’t think anyone would get down and look at his belly. That was our mistake. As for my tattoo, that’s none of your damn business. You shouldn’t have been staring at my ass in the first place. What else do you want to know?” She removed her foot and stood back. While Nathan struggled to a sitting position, she picked up the gun. She didn’t point it at him.

  Alex rubbed at his neck. “I have just one question. Who was I making love to last night?”

  Lizzie bent down to pick up the yellow towel. She tossed it to him. “Me. Lizzie Jade. It’s not going to happen again, so you can live on your memories. Take your shower so we can get out of here. It’s going to be light in a few minutes. I’ll call for a taxi to pick us up in fifteen minutes.”

  It was two-thirty in the afternoon when Lizzie walked into Aggie’s house, Nathan Hawk behind her. She looked around at the messy living room and grimaced.

  Nathan grinned from ear to ear. “It must have been a hell of a party.”

  Lizzie threw her hands in the air. “You sent a bunch of party animals to…to…entertain my friends. My sister said you were trustworthy. Ha!”

  Lizzie stomped her way into the kitchen to another mess. She picked up the trash container. “They were your friends, so you do the kitchen, and I’ll do the living room. I hate messes like this. How could six people make such a mess?”

  “Aggie…Lizzie, wait a minute. You haven’t said two words to me since we left Spokane. I have a right to be pissed, and you have a right to be pissed. That makes us even. Let’s try to get beyond what happened and back on track. I’m not going to blow your cover. We have a better chance of finding out what happened that night if we work together. And, I’m sorry for pointing the gun at you. I mean that, Lizzie. It’s just that I felt so confused and angry when I realized you weren’t Aggie.”

  Lizzie sniffed as she plugged in the phone to check the messages. There were six from Chief Shay. She returned his call, her foot tapping with anxiety. “It’s Aggie Jade, Chief.” She bit down on her lip as she listened to his tirade. “I wanted to go, Chief. I had every intention of going, but I couldn’t make myself actually do it. I…I went off to…to someplace I’ve never been to…to think.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. She did think about Will’s memorial service. “All I can say is I’m sorry. Yes, I’ll be in the day after tomorrow. Yes, I will be at Zack’s retirement party. A party is different from a memorial service, Chief. I’m fine, Chief. It was just something I had to work out on my own. Thank you.”

  Lizzie whirled around. “Did you see an urn at Daniel Fargo’s house?”

  “No. Did you?”

  “Maybe it was in his luggage. We didn’t check his suitcase. I don’t know anything about…about cremation. Do they give you the ashes right away or do you have to pick them up later? It’s obscene to think they would mail them to a person. I’m sure it isn’t important to…to the investigation. I’m sure he must have taken them with him since we think he was meeting with his brother. Let’s think he scattered the ashes somewhere. I hate loose ends.” She was dithering and didn’t know why.

  “Lizzie, it doesn’t matter. You are like Aggie in some ways. Aggie would have been concerned about Will’s ashes, too. After we get this all cleaned up, would you like to go out to get something to eat? If you recall, we didn’t eat yesterday. I’m starving. The paper doesn’t know I’m back, so no one will be beeping me. I’ll buzz on home, shower, and change. I imagine you want to do the same thing. I’ll come back and pick you up. C’mon, Lizzie, stop looking so mean and dangerous. You’re starting to scare me.”

  “Okay. But I expect this kitchen to be spotless.” It was just too damn hard to stay angry at Nathan. He had such a winsome smile.

  “Are you always such a hard-ass?”

  Lizzie stopped in her tracks. “Not all the time,” she said softly.

  “Oh.”

  Back in the living room, Lizzie, her mind racing, collected beer bottles, coffee cups, and dessert plates. She emptied ashtrays and gathered up paper napkins and carried everything back to the kitchen. Before she went upstairs, she plumped up cushions, sprayed Lysol, and cuddled with Alice, who lathered her with wet kisses.

  There was a smile on her face when she made her way to the second floor and the shower. When she was finished, her hair slicked back, and dressed in a khaki safari dress and sandals, she peeked in on her visiting roommates, who were all sleeping soundly, blissful expressions on their faces. Nathan was right, it must have been a hell of a party. She scribbled off a note from a sticky pad and stuck it to the vanity mirror.

  The dishwasher was purring, the kitchen neat and tidy. Nathan might not know how to cook, but he did know how to clean up. She felt pleased at the thought. Alice nudged her leg to let her know she needed to be walked. Lizzie fastened the leash and led the shepherd out the front door. They walked around the block twice, and got back to the house just in time to see Nathan pull up in the driveway.

  Nathan climbed o
ut of the car, approached them, and said, “Hi there, Alice!”

  Alice sniffed his hands, his shoes, and finally decided he had a right to be there.

  “I’m ready to go, Nathan. Just let me take Alice into the house. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Inside, Alice ran up to the second floor while Lizzie searched for her purse. Key in hand, purse on her shoulder, Lizzie was locking the door when the phone rang. She debated a moment too long before reopening the door. By the time she reached the phone, it had stopped ringing. She waited several moments before she punched in the numbers that would release Aggie’s voice mail. She stood rooted to the floor when she heard Daniel Fargo’s voice.