Deadly Wands

by Brent Reilly

CHAPTER 34

  Princess led him high, darting from cloud to cloud, then dropped down in a forest in the middle of nowhere. Billy couldn’t spot the campfire. Her wand emitted a soft greeting, so it would not travel far, before landing in the open. A burly guy greeted them, hands empty to signal peace.

  "You almost missed dinner, Princess. I’m Bear,” he said to Billy.

  "Oh, we already ate."

  "Dating already?" He chuckled. "Better meet Grandma before you get your hopes up," he advised Billy. "Some of the guys call Princess the Universal Target because everyone has taken a shot at her. Unsuccessfully," he added.

  "He won't show his face or answer questions," Princess warned.

  "I wouldn't either if I beat a thousand quads in one day. They thought they could just tire you out, so they went from least to most powerful. You got a vicious multi-millennial named Buri who killed some friends of mine. You finished him so fast I thought I blinked. What harsh shit did you whisper while you watched the life drain out of him?”

  “Just something the Third Millennial said right before I killed him.”

  The big guy lit up in joy. “You got the Third Millennial? Oh, you’re gonna be real popular here.”

  “Would you like Buri’s wand set, Bear?”

  The big guy looked stunned. Wands that powerful were worth a fortune. “How much?”

  “Protect me. That’s the price you must pay.”

  “But I’d do that anyways, for someone who can out-duel a thousand Mongols a day.”

  “Then we have a deal?” Billy asked, opening his backpack to show him several thousand wand sets.

  Bear snatched them up before the kid changed his mind and they shook hands.

  "Call me Red."

  "Red?" Bear thought that funny. "We believe that warriors should be called whatever they want to be called. I knew a guy who insisted we call him Shit For Brains because he kept enlisting for the most dangerous duty. Brave bastard." And apparently dead. "Well, come on. Everyone wants to meet the guy who has enough energy to duel all day. Just the thought tires me out. Don't pull a wand or some of them might pee themselves."

  His chuckle echoed against the trees.

  "Look who accepted our invitation," Bear announced, gesturing grandly to Billy, who looked uncomfortable with two hundred eyes sizing him up. "He wants to be called Red. I know, I know. I thought he’d be taller, too. He only came on the condition that he’d not show his face or answer questions. When I asked if he had a pleasant flight, he refused to tell me."

  No one drew a wand, so Billy stepped forward. He noticed that they built a roof of branches over their cooking fires so they could not be spotted from the air. They all looked like tough veterans.

  What have I walked into? he asked himself.

  “Hey, grandpa!” Bear called out. “Want to shake the hand of the guy who killed the Third Millennial?”

  An old man ran out, as excited as a boy on his birthday. "I’m American Jack."

  Stunned, Billy gave him a thorough look-over, because he sure didn’t seem like the longtime leader of the resistance. "You're kidding!"

  Everyone laughed, but Billy didn't mean to insult the poor man. American Jack was a legend. Like Genghis, he mated with thousands of quads to continue the fight. He just didn't look like a legend.

  "I get that a lot," he replied with a smile, apparently hard to offend. “What’s with the red suit in Paris? Most veterans want to blend in, not stand out.”

  “For three centuries, Genghis Khan used his terrifying reputation as the world’s best dueler to build an empire. I hope to build my own terrifying reputation to tear that empire down. Genghis became a legend to take people’s freedom; I shall become a legend to give it back. Justice requires that what they did to others be done to them.”

  “Crap! I wasn’t recording. Could you say that again so the world can hear it?”

  At first, Billy thought they were messing with him, but they sure seemed sincere, so he repeated himself. Not a few of them were crying. Not the least of whom was Jack himself.

  “You’re a damn relief, is what you are. The videos of you beating Mongol armadas lifted many of us out of depression. Your victories have flooded American University with high-quality recruits. Thousands of European quads working for the Mongols switched sides because of you. You’ve convinced half the world that the Empire could lose.”

  “Could lose?” Billy found that offensive. “I’m convinced they’ll lose. I could have killed Genghis Khan several times by now.”

  If they liked him before, they absolutely loved him now. He could see it in their eyes, like a doctor telling a patient he can be cured.

  "Everyone has wondered what became of the Third Millennial,” Jack said. “Genghis Khan assumes the devious fart is just avoiding him.”

  “I’ve survived a million fights because I use his Millennial Wands.”

  Jack studied the Millennials closely. “That bastard led the raid that killed my wife and family. I loved my wife so much that I never re-married. Not even after three hundred years.”

  “Wanna see the look on his face when I stuck steel into his chest?”

  The audience reacted as if he threw gold at them. They instantly mobbed him, while some hovered a few meters in the air to see.

  Billy projected an unbelievably large 3D image. They remained silent as they watched, from his perspective, the blades shoot out of the snow. The look on Subodei’s incredulous face was priceless. They gasped as Billy sliced his arms and cheered wildly as the great general flopped about from having his testicles electrocuted. Finally, they got to the clip of him saying, “You know what I like most about a fair fight? The better fighter always wins.”

  The applause deafened him. The pats on his back fell so hard they knocked him around. He had never seen so many exhilarated faces. Several of these hardened warriors openly wept. A tough-looking Russian hugged him, tears falling uncontrollably.

  “Can I have a copy?” someone asked.

  He tapped wand after wand.

  “Let the man breathe,” Bear insisted, roughly pushing them back. “He obviously can take a blast, but your damn crying is unmanning him.”

  And it was. He bonded with them before he even knew their names.

  “Sorry, Red. You see, pretty much everyone here loved someone killed by Subodei. Yet not even Prince could beat him in a fair fight.”

  Their tears were making even Billy cry, so Bear helped him out.

  “Ay! Now look at what you’ve done to poor Jack.” The old man sat in the dirt, cradling his head in his hands, bawling like a baby. “I’ve known the man for two hundred years and I’ve never seen him cry like that. Not even that time he thought I shoved his beloved wands up a Mongol’s anus.”

  “I hate shitty wands,” Billy deadpanned.

  “Why destroy the Siamese Empire?” someone asked.

  “My parent’s murder put me in a killer mood.”

  “Another orphan! You’ll fit in here. All of us have lost a loved one. It’s why we fight without pay.”

  “You’re not all filthy rich?” This shocked Billy. “I’ve given Free Europe ships literally full of wealth, and you guys are poor? You should all be richer than Marcus Crassus!”

  Judging by the silence, they were neither rich nor aware of the guy who shared the first triumvirate with Julius Caesar and Pompey the Great. Well, Billy didn’t become famous for ignoring opportunities.

  “Tonight I’ll pay anyone who agrees to follow me until we win the war all the coin that they can carry.”

  Princess instantly accepted, but the rest thought that hilarious. “You mean we’re gonna win in our lifetimes?” Bear joked.

  “Yes. I’ll pay as much coin as you can carry,” Billy insisted. “Tonight.”

  That shut them up.

  “I think he’s serious,” Jack said in the awkward silence.

  Bear signed u
p next. “The fool gave me Buri’s wands for free, so I’m in.”

  Everyone seemed to wait for Grandma, not Jack, who conveniently disappeared.

  “I can carry a lot of coin,” Grandma warned Billy.

  “You only commit yourself if you can take as much as you can carry.”

  “There’s over one hundred of us.”

  “Then you better bring some friends,” Billy shot back, upping the ante. Oh, he had them now. “What’s it gonna be, Grandma?”

  “Why do I get the feeling that Red is flying circles around me. All right, damn it, I’m yours if you show me the coin. Now stop teasing my curiosity by telling me how.”

  Surrounded by dangerous strangers, Billy smiled. “Has no one figured it out? I only arrived in Spain yesterday, yet I’m promising over one hundred quads over one hundred kilos each.” No one yelled out the obvious, so Billy clued them. “I bet on every duel today, and rolled over the winnings onto the next duel. According to the stadium manager, I won the equivalent of ten gold tons today. That’s one hundred gold kilos carried by one hundred fliers. But much of it will be in silver and bronze, so we literally have more coin than we can carry, and it’s all legally mine. In the Bank of Mongolia in Barcelona. Until the Mongol governor confiscates it in the morning. Unless we withdraw my winnings tonight.”

  They cheered as one and hugged Billy until he almost suffocated. Under Jack, they risked their lives for centuries without pay. With the Red Baron, they became rich the day they met him.

  It surprised Billy how many non-Europeans he shook hands with. Several from Africa and a hell of a lot from Asia. Three hundred years breeding with the world's best quads resulted in some fascinating company. A lady -- and almost half of them were ladies -- passed him a plate and cup as everyone gathered around to hear the interview.

  "This is delicious. What is it?" Billy asked.

  "Fried bull testicles basted in saffron paste with coriander sprinkle," Bear lied with a straight face.

  "Damn it," Billy replied, not missing a beat. "I just had that for breakfast."

  “Tell us your story, Red,” a beautiful redhead asked.

  "Mongols have killed ten generations of my ancestors, so I’ve paid them back by personally killing a million Mongols."

  Billy could tell his claim was hard to believe.

  “How good are you at lying?” Bear asked out of curiosity.

  “I once fell face first in a steaming pile of fresh doodoo,” Billy said matter-of-factly. “And let me tell you, it tasted like shit!” Surrounded by smiling faces, he played it straight. “It turns out I judged my mother’s mutton too harshly. Until then, I thought it tasted like crap.”

  “No offense, Red, but you sound too young to have killed so many.”

  Billy took off his shirt and walked around the fire so everyone could get a good look at his debt score, as he called it. The multiple levels of cuts, burns and bruises clearly came from a hell of a lot of fights.

  Billy found himself among comedians.

  "They cooked you more than the boar we're roasting," Bear commented.

  "Pink is a more accurate name than Red. And the Pink Baron has a nice ring to it.”

  "Have you tried wearing armor?"

  "No offense, but you look better with a shirt on."

  "Did they give you a free scar after the first million?"

  "I can see why you enjoy dueling. Do you also punch yourself in the nuts?"

  "You still have a little untouched skin. I can scorch that for you if you want."

  The jokes kept coming, but he could tell it impressed them. Despite his youth, he had worked the trenches. Then he reached Grandma. The tiny old Asian lady projected gravitas that Julius Caesar would envy.

  "How have you survived?"

  "I'll show you after dinner."

  "Over my dead body!" Princess yelled to general laughter, even though she clearly was not joking.

  "So you're all vacationing behind enemy lines?" Billy asked.

  Jack answered: "We're killing time and Mongols until my African division arrives so we can start emigrating Americans to Africa to take the continent from the Empire.”

  “Your African division?” Billy didn’t move, but he seemed to grow taller. “They signed up with me when they accepted my super wands and salary. I even reimbursed you for the cost of their training. I want the Africans to roll up the Mongols in Spain from the south while the Americans on the Pyrenees do the same from the north.”

  Billy explained his father’s plan. “Before we take Africa, we’re gonna kick the Mongols out of Spain because that will simplify a defensive line along the Pyrenees Mountain Range, which blocks the Iberian Peninsula from the rest of Europe. Without Mongols in Spain, we have safe harbors for our ships and a safe corridor for our fliers. Our troops can fight the enemy rather than escort our civilians. I’ve already spoken with the king of England, who has agreed to help the Americans through.”

  Billy didn’t mean to replace their leader, but that’s how it came across. The silence only grew louder since he basically cut off Jack at the knees.

  “Grandma?” Bear asked their best general

  “Taking Africa will be easier, faster, and cheaper with safe harbors and a safe land route, so I’m going with the guy who spanks Genghis Khan every summer. But can you really fund forty thousand marathoners?” she asked Billy.

  “I could afford a million. They’re cheaper than the hundreds of highways I’m funding in the Americas.”

  Bear started laughing. "I'm beginning to see what Princess sees in this guy. I never liked kids. Not even my own. But, I’ve got to tell you, I really like this boy.”

  Their campfire had gone out, so Billy thought he’d give them a show.

  "You folks look like you’ve seen everything. I bet I can show you something new." They answered with a cheerful roar. All except Princess. "What about you, my little princess? You don't want to bet?"

  Billy regretted taunting her as soon as the words left his lips. She stood up and stared him down.

  "I will never, ever, bet against you. I want to have your children and take care of you for the rest of my life."

  Billy was hovering over them, but her words somehow turned off his wands, something that had never happened before. He crashed into several warriors who roughly pushed him off into the dirt, Baron or not. They backed up defensively in fear.

  "I think I just fell in love," he mumbled in a daze, not able to even get up.

  Princess looked frozen, but Grandma, next to her, screamed like a Banshee.

  "Not with you, Grandma!" Billy joked. "With the young, beautiful one."

  "I’m not available," Bear deadpanned.

  Billy and Princess shared a long look, then he smiled as he popped up above them, releasing a raw primal scream and lighting up all four wands. His forty meter-long wingspan gave them chills. They stared at him in utter silence. Sure, they saw the videos, but those didn’t do him justice. It was the difference between watching porn versus starring in porn. The entire camp applauded. Never had Billy felt so much like he belonged.

  "Jack, you got any clean underwear I can borrow?" Bear asked.

  Jack said nothing, stunned at how effortlessly he had been replaced.

  Diva, a beautiful Irish redhead, got so excited she flew over them and performed an incredible aerial fire dance that expressed her joy better than words could convey. Princess flew up to tackle him in the air. They landed in the brush and she started undressing him.

  Bear admonished her: "Not here! Some of us are sensitive. Not me. I actually like to watch, but Jack is kind of squeamish.”

  "I’m taking him, Grandma," she said, challenging the old veteran. “I’ve saved my virginity long enough.”

  Indeed, at a time of low life expectancy, most girls mated at puberty, yet Princess waited years longer.

  "You were right, my dear. He’s the one," Grandma agr
eed.

  Princess grabbed him by the front of his pants and led him away. When Ox, a beefy warrior, didn't move out of her way fast enough, her wand threw him into the brush.

  Billy had not felt this happy since he was orphaned.