Claimed for the De Carrillo Twins (Wedlocked! Book #84)

by Abby Green

  The insidious suspicion took root... Had he subconsciously wanted to risk getting her pregnant? Because he was aware that after what she’d told him he could no longer insist they stay married if she was innocent of everything he’d thrown at her?

  Cruz sank down heavily on the end of the bed. If that was what had happened then he was an even sicker bastard than Rio.

  When he thought of how he’d treated Trinity...how he’d shoved the past down her throat at every opportunity without giving her a chance to defend herself or explain...he deserved for her to walk away without a second glance.

  But if she was pregnant then she would stay. And Cruz would be aware every day of his life that he had trapped her for ever.

  That moment when she’d said so emotionally, ‘I don’t want to tell you because I don’t want to hurt you,’ came back to him. Its full impact.

  The fact that she’d actually been willing to keep it from him—the full extent of Rio’s ambition and hatred—made him feel even worse. At best she pitied him. At worst she would come to resent him, just as Rio had, if she was pregnant and had no choice but to stay...

  * * *

  By the time Trinity came down for breakfast with the boys the following morning, feeling hollow and tired, she knew that Cruz was no longer in the castillo. And sure enough Julia appeared with a note for her.

  I have to go to Madrid for a couple of days and then New York. I’ll return in time for the doctor’s appointment. Cruz.

  It couldn’t be more obvious that he didn’t want to have anything to do with her until they knew if she was pregnant and then he would deal with it.

  Even Mrs Jordan seemed to sense that something was going on, because she kept shooting Trinity concerned looks. She did her best to project as happy a façade as possible, and suggested that Mrs Jordan take the opportunity to go to Scotland for a few days to see her son, telling her that she’d just need her back for when she would be going to Madrid.

  She also, if she was honest, wanted time alone with the boys to lick her wounds.

  She filled their days with activities, wearing herself and the boys out so comprehensively that she could sleep. But that didn’t stop the dreams, which now featured her running through the castillo, going into every room, endlessly searching for Cruz.

  And each night before she went to sleep she forced herself to remember what he’d said in London, when she’d asked him about marrying for love: ‘I have no time for such emotions or weaknesses...’

  Two weeks later...

  Trinity was standing on Harley Street, having just come out of the doctor’s office, in the bright spring sunshine. Cruz had brought her to London instead of Madrid at the last minute, because there had been something urgent he had to attend to at the UK bank.

  She felt raw now, being back here. Where it had all started. And she felt even more raw after her appointment with the doctor...

  A sleek car pulled up just then, and stopped. Trinity saw a tall figure uncoil from the driver’s seat. Cruz. He’d timed his meeting so that he could meet her after the doctor’s appointment.

  He held the passenger door open for her to get in, saying nothing as she did so, just looking at her carefully. When he was behind the wheel he looked at her again.

  Feeling too brittle at that moment, Trinity said, ‘I’ll tell you when we get to the house.’

  They were staying overnight.

  A muscle pulsed in Cruz’s jaw, but he said nothing and just drove off. Trinity felt a little numb as she watched the streets go by outside, teeming with people engrossed in their daily lives.

  When they got to the Holland Park house her sense of déjà-vu was overwhelming. The door closed behind them, echoing in the cavernous hall. Trinity’s heart was thumping and she could feel clammy sweat breaking out on her skin. She sensed Cruz behind her, watching her, waiting, and slowly turned around.

  She knew she had to say the words. She opened her mouth and prayed to sound cool and in control. Not as if she was breaking apart inside. She looked at him.

  ‘I’m not pregnant, Cruz.’

  He said nothing for a long moment. Trinity was expecting to see relaxation in the tense lines of his body. Eventually he said, ‘We should talk, then.’

  She recoiled at the thought of doing it right now. ‘Can we do it later, please? I’m quite tired.’

  Cruz nodded once. ‘Of course. Whenever you’re ready. I’ll be in my study.’

  ‘Okay,’ Trinity said faintly, and turned to go up the stairs to the bedrooms. Calling herself a coward as she did so. She was just staying the execution. That was all.

  CHAPTER TEN

  AFTERNOON PASSED INTO dusk and evening outside Cruz’s study, but he was oblivious. Two words echoed in his head: not pregnant...not pregnant. He’d felt an unaccountably shocking sense of loss. When he had no right.

  Trinity would get pregnant one day, and create the family she’d always wanted. And she deserved that. There was no reason for him not to let her go now. If anything, he had to. It was time for him to make reparation.

  It had come far too belatedly—the realisation that Rio’s deep hatred of Cruz hadn’t irreparably damaged his ability to care. That his mother’s even deeper cynicism hadn’t decimated the tiny seed of hope he’d believed to have been crushed long ago—hope for a different kind of life, one of emotional fulfilment and happiness. One not bound by duty and destiny and a desire to protect himself from emotional vulnerability at all costs.

  He’d never wanted more because he’d never really known what that was. Until he’d seen Trinity interact so lovingly and selflessly with his nephews and had found himself sitting up in their room all night, watching them sleep and vowing to slay dragons if he had to, to keep them safe.

  The thought of family had always been anathema to him, but now—

  He heard a sound and looked up to see his door open. Trinity. She’d changed and was wearing soft faded jeans and a long cardigan, which she’d pulled around herself. Her hair was down and a little mussed, and her face was bare of make-up. Her feet were bare too.

  For a second Cruz thought he might be hallucinating...even though she wasn’t wearing the same clothes as that night... Past and present were meshing painfully right now. Mocking him with the brief illusory fantasy that perhaps there could be such a thing as a second chance.

  He stood up as she came in and shut the door behind her.

  Her voice was husky. ‘I’m sorry. I slept far later than I wanted to.’

  On automatic pilot, Cruz asked, ‘Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?’

  She shook her head and smiled, but it was tight. ‘No, thanks—no appetite.’

  A bleakness filled Cruz. No doubt she just wanted to sort this out and be gone. Back to the life he’d snatched out of her hands.

  * * *

  ‘Please, sit down.’

  Again, so polite. Trinity came in and sat down. The weight of their history in this room was oppressive. She’d told a white lie about sleeping—she hadn’t slept a wink all afternoon, was too churned up. She’d spent most of her time pacing up and down.

  After an initial acute sense of loss that she wasn’t pregnant she’d felt a sense of resolve fill her. She wasn’t going to give up without a fight. She knew Cruz had an innate sense of honour and decency, so even if that was all she had to work with she would.

  Cruz sat down. His shirt was open at the top and his shirtsleeves were rolled up.

  ‘You said that part of the deal with Rio was that he would pay for you to do a degree?’

  Trinity blinked, taken by surprise that he’d remembered that. ‘Yes, he did.’

  ‘Do you still want to do it?’

  She felt as if she was in an interview. ‘Well, I haven’t had much time to think about it lately, but yes...at some point I
think I’d like to.’

  Cruz nodded. ‘I’ll make sure you get a chance to do your degree, Trinity, wherever you want to do it.’

  ‘Cruz...’ She trailed off, bewildered. ‘I presumed we were going to talk about what happens next—not my further education and career options.’

  His voice was harsh. ‘That is what happens next. You get to get on with your life—the life you would have had if you hadn’t had the misfortune to meet me and my brother.’

  He stood up then, and walked to the window which overlooked the park. It was still light outside—just.

  Trinity stood up too, anger starting to sizzle. ‘You do not get to do this, Cruz—blame yourself for what happened. Even Rio can’t be apportioned blame either...not really.’

  She came around the desk and stood a few feet away from him.

  ‘I was just as much to blame. I shouldn’t have been so hurt after what had happened between us that I spilled my guts to Rio with the slightest encouragement. You might not have handled it very well, but you didn’t take any liberty I wasn’t willing to give. It was the most thrilling moment of my life up to that point.’

  Cruz turned around. Trinity saw his gaze drop and widen, and colour darken his cheeks. She didn’t have to look down to know that her cardigan had fallen open, revealing her flimsy vest top and braless breasts underneath. She could feel her nipples peak under his gaze, and her heart thumped hard. She couldn’t deny that she’d hoped to provoke a reaction from him.

  ‘And there’s this, Cruz.’ She gestured between them, where tension crackled. ‘This hasn’t gone away...has it?’

  His gaze rose and his jaw clenched. ‘It’s not about that any more. It’s about you getting a divorce and moving on.’

  Divorce.

  Trinity’s heart started thumping. She pulled the cardigan around herself again, feeling exposed. ‘I told you before that I won’t abandon Matty and Sancho—that hasn’t changed.’

  Cruz’s voice was tight. ‘The fact that you stepped in and protected and nurtured my nephews went above and beyond the call of duty.’

  Trinity felt even more exposed now. ‘I told you—I explained why—’

  ‘I know,’ Cruz said, and the sudden softness in his voice nearly killed her. ‘But they’re not really your responsibility. You have a life to live. And I won’t be responsible for stopping you. We can work out a custody arrangement. I wouldn’t stop you from being in their lives. But they’re in good hands now.’

  For a second Trinity wondered how she was still standing...how she wasn’t in a broken heap at Cruz’s feet. Whatever pain she’d experienced in her life didn’t come close to the excruciating agony she felt right now.

  Yet something dogged deep within her forced her to ask hoarsely, ‘Do you want a divorce, Cruz?’

  His eyes were burning. ‘I want you to have your life back, Trinity. And I will support you and your relationship with the boys however you want.’

  She folded her arms across her chest and Cruz’s gaze dropped again to where the swells of her breasts were pushed up. Something came to life in her blood and belly. The tiniest kernel of hope.

  ‘You didn’t answer me. Do you want a divorce?’

  His eyes met hers and she saw something spark deep in their golden depths before it faded. Something cold skated across her skin. A sense of foreboding.

  ‘What I want,’ Cruz bit out, ‘is for my life to return to where it was before I ever met you.’

  Trinity looked at him blankly for a long moment. And then, as his words impacted like physical blows, she sucked in a pained breath. Her fight drained away and her arms dropped heavily to her sides.

  She might have fought Cruz if she’d thought there was half a chance. But there wasn’t. He wanted her to have her life back. But he wanted his back too. She’d been a fool to think they had a chance. To think that she could persuade him by seducing him...

  She whirled around to leave, terrified he’d see how badly he’d hurt her. The door was a blur in her vision as she reached for the knob, just wanting to escape.

  She heard a movement behind her and then Cruz said hoarsely, ‘Stop. Do not walk out through that door, Trinity.’

  Her hand was on the knob. Her throat was tight, her vision blurring. She wouldn’t turn around. ‘Why?’ she asked rawly.

  His voice came from much closer. He sounded broken. ‘Because I let you go through it once before and it was the worst mistake of my life.’

  He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. She didn’t want him to see the emotion on her face. But this was Cruz, who demanded and took, so he tipped her face up and cursed.

  She looked at him and her heart flip-flopped. The stark mask was gone and he was all emotion. Raw emotion. And it awed her—because she realised now how adept he’d been at holding it all back for so long.

  He’d been so controlled. But no more.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, cupping her face, thumbs wiping at tears she hadn’t even realised were falling. ‘I didn’t mean what I just said. It was cruel and unforgivable. I only said it because in that split second I thought going back to the life I had before I knew you was preferable to the pain of opening up. I thought I was doing the right thing...forcing you out of my life...’

  Trinity whispered brokenly, ‘I don’t want you to force me out of your life.’

  Cruz’s whole body tensed. ‘Do you mean that?’

  She nodded, heart thumping. She put her hands on his and repeated her question. ‘What do you want, Cruz?’

  His eyes glowed with a new light. He said roughly, ‘I want you. For ever. Because I know there can never be anyone else for me. I want to stay married to you and I want a chance to show you how sorry I am—for everything.’

  Trinity just stared at him. Wondering if she was hallucinating.

  He went on. ‘I want to create a family with you—the kind of family neither of us had. Nor Rio. Maybe through his sons we can give him that finally. But,’ he said, ‘if you want a divorce...if you want to walk away...then I won’t stop you. As much as I wanted you to be pregnant, I’m happy you aren’t because I couldn’t have borne knowing that you’d never had a choice... Now you do have a choice.’

  Trinity’s vision blurred again. ‘I choose you, Cruz. I would always choose you.’

  ‘I love you,’ Cruz said fervently.

  Trinity blinked back her tears and sucked in a shuddering breath. ‘I came down here this evening prepared to fight and make you see, and then you said—’

  Cruz stopped her mouth with his in a long soulful kiss. When they broke apart they were both breathing heavily, and Trinity realised that her back was against the wall of shelves. Cruz’s body was pressed against hers, the unmistakable thrust of his arousal turning her limbs to jelly and her blood into fire. With an intent look on his starkly beautiful face he pushed her cardigan off her shoulders and pulled it off.

  Euphoria made Trinity’s heart soar. ‘What are you doing?’

  But Cruz was busy pulling down the straps of her vest top and exposing her breasts to his hungry gaze. Hoarsely he said, ‘I’m taking care of unfinished business—if that’s all right?’

  As he made short work of undoing her jeans and pulling them down excitement mounted, and she said breathily, ‘I have no objections.’ She kicked her jeans off completely.

  Cruz stopped for a moment and looked at her, all teasing and sexy seductiveness gone as the significance of the moment impacted on them. ‘I love you.’

  Trinity nodded, biting her lip to stave off more emotion. ‘I love you too...’

  But then their urgency to connect on a deeper level took over again.

  Cruz stepped out of his clothes. She reached up and wound her arms around his neck, revelling in the friction of her body against his, and when Cruz picked her up
she wrapped her legs tight around his hips and together they finished what they’d started, soaring high enough to finally leave the past behind and start again.

  EPILOGUE

  ‘CAREFUL, BOYS, YOUR little sister is not a doll,’ Cruz admonished Matty and Sancho, who were tickling their four-month-old sister where she lay in her pram in the shade. The fact that she was their cousin and not really their sister was something they could wrap their heads around when they were older.

  The boys giggled and ran away, chasing each other down the lawn, dark heads gleaming in the sunlight.

  Cruz watched them go. They’d grown so much in the two years since he and Trinity had officially adopted them—turning their legal guardianship into something much more permanent and binding.

  One day, not long after the adoption had come through, they’d both suddenly started calling him Papa. As if they’d taken a private mutual consultation to do so. The day it had happened he’d looked at Trinity, unable to keep the emotion from filling his eyes and chest. She’d reached out and taken his hand, her eyes welling up too as they’d realised what had just happened.

  They were a family.

  He shook his head now, marvelling that he couldn’t even remember a time before these two small boys existed. He would die for them. It was that simple. It was bittersweet to know that he was finally able to show his love for Rio by protecting and nurturing his nephews like this.

  A happy gurgle made Cruz look down again to see his daughter, Olivia—who was already being called Livvy—smiling gummily and waving her arms and legs. She had the bright blue eyes of her mother and a tuft of golden curls on her head, and she had Cruz so wrapped around her tiny finger that he could only grin like a loon and bend down to pick her up.

  ‘Hey,’ protested a sleepy voice, ‘you’re meant to be getting her to sleep.’

  Cruz looked to where Trinity was lying in a gently rocking hammock between two trees. Her hair was loose and long around her shoulders and she was wearing short shorts and a halterneck top that showed off her lightly golden skin and luscious curves. An indulgent smile made her mouth curve up, telling Cruz that he was so busted where his baby daughter was concerned.