Aiden ~ Melanie Moreland

by Melanie Moreland

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t recall a lot of that night after that point. A neighbor had called the police. Gabby was screaming. I was bleeding, and Henry was unconscious. The police sent me to the hospital in a different ambulance from him—I got stitched up, and I spent the night. I never went back there again. A social worker came and saw me the next morning and said my parents had basically washed their hands of me. They said I was violent, disruptive, and they were worried not only about their safety, but also that I might hurt my siblings. They swore I attacked Henry without reason.”

  “That was a lie.”

  I smiled forlornly at her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Who was going to believe me, Cami? I never said anything at school. I had no friends. By that point, Mr. Randall had retired, and I had no teacher I confided in. I was just another student with issues. My file was full of times I when I got angry and lashed out at someone. I never hurt them, but I would yell. Now my parents were just confirming what everyone already knew. I was a waste of space and not worthy of love. Not even from my family.”

  She lifted our clasped hands to her mouth, brushing her lips to my skin. “No, you are,” she breathed out. “You so are.” She pressed my hand to her cheek, and I was startled at the wetness on her skin.

  “Don’t cry for me.”

  “Someone has to. You deserve to have someone who loves you enough to cry for you.”

  Her words rolled around in my head.

  Loves you.

  Deserve.

  They were foreign to me.

  “What happened to you?”

  “I went to a shelter. Then I was sent to a few foster homes, but they never worked. They expected a kid who needed discipline, and they acted accordingly. The abuse continued.”

  “What you needed was to be loved.”

  “I didn’t get that. I didn’t know a touch didn’t have to hurt until I was older.” I met her sad gaze. “Sex was the only way I knew how to connect with someone. Even then, I preferred to do the touching rather than be touched. I could never let anyone in. I didn’t know I could want the touch of another person on my skin all the time until I met you. I never felt the need to connect with someone the way I do with you. It scared the ever-loving shit out of me, if I’m being honest.”

  Our eyes locked, my mismatched irises meeting her beautiful green. Mine pleaded for patience; hers filled with acceptance.

  “Go on,” she urged.

  “I was lucky, though, and I had a social worker who helped me. Lori watched over me as best she could, and she tried to get me placed into the right home.” I barked out a laugh. “The trouble is there isn’t a huge line of people waiting to take a fifteen-year-old boy with anger problems, as I had been labeled. She stuck with me, though. Made sure I kept up my schoolwork and even got me a part-time job. When I aged out, she found me a little place to go. It wasn’t much, just a room with a bed and a chair, but it was mine. I worked hard, saved for school, and got in with a scholarship.”

  “Where did you work?”

  “Her son, Neil, owned a gym and she had gotten me a job working there not long after she became my case worker. I started as a cleaner and worked my way up. Part of my payment was that I could use the equipment. I discovered how much I loved to exercise. I had finally grown into my body, and the physical release was something I needed. It was something I understood. I got along well with her son, and he encouraged me. Neil said I was a natural. Watching the therapists at his gym showed me that touch had the power to heal as well as hurt, and I found it fascinating. I decided to take both business and physical therapy courses—I thought I wanted to run my own clinic. I got accepted at Toronto, and I moved here. Then I met Bentley and Maddox, and I finally I found friends who really cared, a place I could call home and where I was comfortable.”

  Reflectively, I traced the ink on my arm. “I got this tattoo when I was twenty. Bent and Maddox came with me. I wanted to cover up the scars I had. The ones they gave me. I didn’t want to look down and see them anymore.”

  Her voice was drenched in tears. “Aiden . . .”

  “When I was young, I would sneak away to the library. Every Wednesday, there was a woman who read out loud. I loved the stories about fierce, strong dragons.” I tapped my upper arm. “The dragon reminds me to stay strong.”

  She touched the clouds etched into my skin and traced her fingers over the red flowers. “What about these?”

  “The clouds represent life. They float and change, the darkness balancing the light.”

  “And the flowers?”

  I smiled, feeling strangely nervous about telling her their meaning. “The house the guys and I rented together had a bush in the front of it that bloomed with red flowers every year. Every time I saw it I knew I was home. It was the first time I had ever truly had a home.”

  “That’s beautiful, Aiden.”

  “I’ve never told anyone that before now.”

  “Thank you for telling me,” she whispered, the sadness in her eyes apparent. Her obvious emotion at hearing my story shook me.

  I had only ever shared it with Bentley and Maddox, and I had never gone into as much detail as I had with Cami. We all knew each other’s pasts. It was something that drew us closer—made us brothers instead of simply friends. They had been understanding and empathetic since they had both experienced trauma growing up themselves, but they weren’t emotional. We were tight and would do anything for one another, but aside from the odd hug, the constant banter, and the occasional argument, we didn’t do the whole emotion thing. It just wasn’t us, and we all preferred it that way. I knew Bentley was different with Emmy, and although he refused to discuss it, Maddox showed an alternate side of himself to Dee. For the first time ever in my life, I had opened up fully to someone. It was, I found to my surprise, cathartic. Cami’s tender compassion made the pressure I always felt in my chest ease.

  “Thank you for listening to me.”

  “You can talk to me anytime, about anything.”

  I lifted her hand and kissed the delicate skin of her wrist.

  “Do you stay in touch with anyone? Mr. Randall or Lori and Neil?”

  “Mr. Randall died before I finished school. He had a massive heart attack after breakfast one day. I went to his funeral and wept at the loss of the first man who had shown me kindness, and who told me I was more than my family let me think I could be.”

  I had to stop and clear my throat. “Lori retired, and when I became successful, I paid off Neil’s gym and helped him make improvements to it. He runs an after-school program now to help more kids like me. I moved him and Lori into a nice house, and I make sure they’re okay. They will never need anything for the rest of their lives if I can help it.”

  “That’s amazing.”

  I shrugged, self-conscious. “It was the least I could do. They changed my life’s path. If Lori hadn’t seen beyond the reports and helped me, God knows where I would be today.”

  Cami sighed, her breath shaky. “I’m glad you’re here, with me.”

  The emotion in her eyes was overwhelming. No one had ever looked at me the way Cami did. She made me feel invincible. Strong. And more vulnerable than I had ever been because of the depth of my need for her. And my need for that look.

  “You frighten me, Sunshine. You scare the ever-loving shit out of me.”

  She gasped. “How is that even possible? I’m half your size.”

  “No, I don’t mean physically.” I hesitated, then spoke my fear. “Emotionally, you could destroy me.”

  “You have that power over me as well,” she declared quietly. “I don’t want to destroy you, Aiden. I want to share your life and be your partner. Help you through the bad days, not cause them.” She cradled my hand to her cheek. “I want to be the missing piece to your world.”

  I pulled her onto my lap fast, surprising her. “Love has always equaled pain for me, Cami. I let down my guard once, and it bit me in the ass. It proved to me tha
t I was right. I wasn’t worthy of love.”

  “Can you tell me?”

  I pushed a tendril away from her face, tucking the curl behind her ear. “You really want to know?”

  She captured my hand, kissing the palm, and holding it to her cheek. “I want to know everything, Aiden. I want to know you. To understand why you feel the way you do.” She sighed. “Then I can show you why you’re wrong and that you’re so worthy of being loved.”

  I stared at her for a moment, unable to comprehend her thoughts. She was adamant in her feelings for me. She never wavered.

  “I think I need a drink,” I confessed.

  “You don’t have to tell me.”

  “No, I do. But I need a break, if that makes sense.”

  “I understand.”

  In the kitchen, she opened the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. “Dee likes this stuff. Will that do?”

  “Perfect. What about you?”

  “I haven’t eaten today, so I’ll just have water.”

  I reached for my phone. “I’m ordering pizza.”

  “I’m not really hungry,” she admitted.

  I spoke as I dialed. “You need some food, and frankly, so do I. I need you to eat. Please? For me?” I added, knowing she would agree. The break would help us both.

  “Okay.”

  A short time later, I sat back, replete. Cami had only eaten one slice, nibbling away while I devoured the rest, but at least it was something.

  “Is pizza your favorite food?”

  “No, but it’s fast and easy.”

  “What is your favorite?”

  “Fried chicken. Homemade, not the takeout garbage.”

  “Dee makes great fried chicken. She’ll make it for you.”

  Her words stirred a memory, making me frown.

  “Will you tell me now?”

  “Yes.” I focused on staying calm, choosing my words carefully without too much detail. I knew she’d have questions, and I didn’t want to get too upset, so I chose to tell her the story as briefly as possible.

  “My sister, Veronica, showed up a few years ago. She appeared out of the blue, with no warning. She told me she had moved here and saw my name in the paper.” I paused, thinking how shocked I had been when I heard my name called and turned to find Veronica standing behind me. “She asked me for coffee. She wanted a chance to apologize.”

  “Oh.”

  “I was curious, so I agreed to go with her. She told me Gabby and Henry had both died recently. She said she had no contact with Eric, my brother. Then she told me she was sorry for how everyone had treated me when we were younger. She explained she had always been afraid of our parents and the one time she had tried to stick up for me, she was punished.”

  “Had she done that?”

  I shrugged. “Not that I remembered, but I did know she never joined in the bullying or mistreatment the way my brother did. She always left the room.”

  I kissed Cami’s hand and stood, unable to sit in one place anymore. I prowled around the room, picking up things and studying them. A picture Cami had sketched of a dress. A small piece of metal sculpture. Touching her things, items she loved, calmed me.

  “What happened, Aiden?”

  “She told me she wanted the chance to be friends. To get to know each other as adults. She seemed sincere. I told her I would think it over, and I left. I talked to Maddox and Bent and told them what happened.”

  “What did they think?”

  “That I should be cautious.”

  “I take it they were right.”

  “Things seemed great. I checked her out, and her story matched up with the information I could find. We met for coffee, had dinner. We talked—sometimes about the past, but more about our lives from after I had left until the present. She told me she’d gotten out of a bad relationship and moved here to start over, much as I had done years ago. She met Bent and Mad. They were polite but reserved.”

  “And?”

  “We started to grow closer. She worked from home as an online editor with a magazine company. I’d drop by on occasion with lunch or for coffee. She would pick up my favorite brownie from the bakery down the street from my place, drop by to say hi, and check up on me. She called and sent funny texts. She remembered my favorite dinner growing up was fried chicken, and she made it for me.” I met Cami’s sympathetic glance. “She did all these things, caring things, which made me think she was real. She slowly got under my skin, and I decided that maybe she had also been a victim and not one of the criminals in my childhood. I forgave her because I felt she had done what she needed to do in order to survive. We had both suffered in different ways.”

  “That was a brave decision, Aiden.”

  I sat down beside her and took her hand, playing with her fingers. “A stupid one.”

  She lifted one shoulder. “I think it takes a brave person to try—be it a relationship, a new career, anything, really. Anything you try that is new and different takes guts, but putting yourself out there emotionally? Very brave.”

  I stared at her in amazement. How had I denied how incredible she truly was?

  She squeezed my hand. “Keep going.”

  “One day, when I stopped by, I could see she had been crying. It took a while to convince her, but she told me her ex had racked up a ton of debt in her name, and she was trying to figure out how to pay it off. She was setting up some appointments with debt consolidators.”

  Cami’s eyebrows rose. “I see.”

  “I didn’t. When I had checked her out, I saw her lousy credit, and I should have checked again—dug more. Used my head and not my heart. I think I was so desperate to believe her, to think I had been wrong, that I turned a blind eye, and I fell for her con. I told her I would help her. I transferred fifty grand into her account that afternoon.”

  “What happened next?”

  “She lost her job and couldn’t find another one. She couldn’t pay her rent, so she lost her apartment and needed a place to stay.”

  “So, she moved in with you?”

  I snorted. “Yep. Then I hired her as my assistant and paid her myself since she wasn’t able to find another job right away.”

  “All things that show what a caring man you are to others.”

  “And stupid. She had me right where she wanted me. Gradually, she started taking over. She did it well, in subtle ways that, until it was over, I never noticed. She had control of my house, my accounts, everything. I confided in her daily.” I sat down heavily. “I was so eager for her affection. She was my family—the one thing I had always wanted—and she was there. In my head, if I took care of her, she would love me.” My head fell to the cushion. “I really thought she did.”

  Cami stood and paced, and I waited until she spoke.

  “What happened?”

  “Bent and I were away on a business trip, looking at some property out West. Maddox called me and told me there was something odd going on with my finances. Money was disappearing fast. He told me he was going to freeze all my accounts. I flew home that afternoon, and I caught her. She was packing up to leave. She actually had a suitcase filled with cash, like some bad TV movie. Still, it wasn’t the worst part.”

  Cami crouched in front of me. “What was it?”

  “Eric was there—they were in it together. They were arguing when I let myself in. She was telling him how awful it had been pretending to like me, and she was glad it was over. How pretending to give a shit about what was going on in my life was tedious, and I annoyed her. That his idea of getting some money had been harder on her than she expected, and she wanted a bigger cut. He was arguing that she had to ride out this storm, convince me it was a bank error, and get more money. He was angry that she’d gotten tired of the subterfuge and decided to take as much money as possible and get out while I was gone.” I huffed out an exhale of air, trying to ease the tightness in my chest that memory brought up. “To say they were shocked to see me standing there, Bentley beside me, listeni
ng to their secret confession, would be an understatement.”

  She rubbed my thighs, making small clicking noises of disapproval in her throat. I looked down at her hands, thinking despite how elegant and long her fingers were, how small they looked on my legs.

  “Once they knew they’d been caught, it got ugly. They told me I owed them. Because of what happened that night when I was a teenager, Henry was never able to work again. He drank more and was verbally abusive to them. There was no money for university—there was barely enough to live on. My parents lost the house and had to move in to an apartment. They were ostracized at school—no longer part of the in crowd. Neither had done much with their lives. Years later, they saw my name in the paper, read about my success, and decided I owed them for what they lost.”

  She stared up at me, aghast. “None of which was your fault. Henry did that to your family. He treated you like shit your whole life. They all did.”

  “That’s not how they saw it. Maddox showed up a few minutes later, and things went from ugly to horrible. There was shouting and threats. And a lot of pushing and shoving between Bent and my brother, who tried to grab the suitcase and run. My sister became hysterical and started screaming.” I shook my head. “Then Maddox called the cops. Or, at least, started to. My brother and sister begged me to give them the money. Promised never to return if I did.”

  “You gave it to them, didn’t you?”

  I shrugged. “It was twenty-five grand. Compared to what I had already given her, not a lot, and frankly, it barely made a dent in my bottom line. I just wanted them gone. I was reeling from how easily I had fallen for her act and the betrayal. Luckily, Maddox stepped in and made them sign something. And before they were out the door, he had all her cards and the lists of my accounts she had maintained. He had her access denied, the locks changed, and even took her cell phone. She left with the cash, her clothes, and that was all.”

  “And she destroyed you.”

  “Do you know what she said to me one day? The words I held on to so desperately?”