Heart and Soul (Love Inspired, 251)

by Jillian Hart

  “You’re a dear, you know that?” the woman said, safely on the walkway and settling back on her cane. “I’m looking forward to my appointment on Tuesday.”

  “Where we’ll make you even more beautiful.” Michelle flashed the woman a genuine smile.

  And like a bullet to his heart, he felt the shock of it. The finality of it. This woman of quiet country goodness and unshakable kindness was the woman he was going to marry. And why? Because what lay lodged in his heart was no bullet at all, but a love so hard and strong, it felt as if it were made of steel. Unbreakable. Unalterable.

  Families surged around him, kids running loose away from family members or back again. Real life, bright in the sunshine and as tangible, was everywhere he looked.

  They were the people he’d served so long and hard to protect. Whom he’d made enormous personal sacrifices for. Long, lonely years of hard training, harder work and heartbreaking consequences. Friends he’d buried. Innocence he’d lost. Crimes and horror and death that haunted him. That had changed him.

  Soon it would be his turn to pass on the weight of responsibility and live a life like this. Where plans for family barbecues were talked aloud and carried on the wind. Where children laughed, arguing over the window seats, where polished and well-kept cars, be they new or old, ferried away their passengers to homes and restaurants and barbecues.

  “What are you doing just standing there?”

  He looked down to see Michelle at his side, fingering her long bouncy hair out of her eyes with her slender, sun-browned hand.

  Tenderness filled him, sweet and heavy like honey. “Figuring out what I want to do next. I have the afternoon free. The weather’s good, and your dad’s taking the whole day off.”

  “You start haying tomorrow?”

  “Looking forward to it.”

  To Michelle’s surprise, he did seem excited by the idea. The crick at the corner of his mouth was a grin spreading from one corner to the other, showing even white teeth. His relaxed stance said he was comfortable and happy.

  Good. She truly hoped he would find what he was looking for. “I’m free, too. Jenna has a family thing she’s roped into going to, but I could use company over at the diner. There’s a cheeseburger with my name on it.”

  “What a coincidence. I think there’s a bacon burger waiting for me.”

  “And the best tartar sauce on the planet. Trust me.” Michelle took the first step toward the street, wondering how to do this. She’d never had a friend quite like Brody before. Sure, high school guys who were buddies, but friends?

  Brody stalked after her and shortened his stride to match hers. “The best tartar sauce on the planet? How do you know? Have you ever been out of Montana?”

  “Sure. Loads of times. Family vacations,” she explained. “You know, the pile in the car, road songs until Dad couldn’t take it anymore, are-we-there-yet kind of vacations?”

  She dazzled him when she smiled, and he could see it, as though the memory were his own. A carload of kids, parents wondering if they’ll survive the trip, while trying not to laugh at the antics of their kids but trying to appear stern at the same time.

  It was a hope. A vision of what the best of a family could be. But it wasn’t Michelle’s past he was seeing.

  It was the secret wishes within him. The ones he’d never dared to pull out and examine too closely. It wasn’t macho. It wasn’t tough. He was used to being alone. And to think there could be a place here for him in her life.

  It was more than a prayer answered. It was a prayer answered before it was asked.

  He stayed by Michelle’s side down the length of the old uneven sidewalk, shaded by trees and watched over by tidy bungalows. Brody made sure his pace matched hers. That he stayed at her side—not one step ahead or one behind—all the way.

  “No, I can pay for my own.” Michelle began digging into her purse for a five-dollar bill. This was no different than going out with Jenna. Friends split the check, right?

  “That doesn’t sit right with me.” Brody reached past her and tossed a fifty-dollar bill on the counter. “I’m the man. I pay.”

  “Oh? Well, that sounds awfully bossy of you, plus, I don’t want to scare you off or something, thinking that makes this a date. I know how commitment shy you male types are.”

  “Me? I’m not commitment shy.” He grabbed the white paper bags the teenager behind the counter thrust at him, along with his change.

  Michelle grabbed the drinks. “Where do you want to sit?”

  “I’m not sure I want to sit with you. I’m still stinging from that commitment comment.”

  “Well, Mr. Drifter on a motorcycle, if the shoe fits…”

  He put the bags down on the nearest available booth. “You mean the boot, don’t you, darlin’?”

  Oh, his accent was smooth, and it ought to come with a surgeon general’s warning. Dangerous. Can cause weak knees and blurry vision. Michelle dropped to the plastic bench seat.

  Brody sat down across from her. “At least during a game of Scrabble men don’t spell bride and wedding and romance.”

  “You had to bring that up!” Her face felt so hot it had to be glowing. “It’s just…”

  “I know, the way women think. Married women, single women, elderly women. It was different playing with you, that’s all, instead of crusty old buddies of mine that don’t often see the softer side of life.” He took a big bite of his burger. Good and juicy. “Different, but nice.”

  Across the table, Michelle took a bite of her cheeseburger and they ate in companionable silence for a while.

  “What was that back at the church? You know, when you made me knock down women and children so you could dash out into the aisle and leapfrog over people to the door.”

  “You have a knack for exaggeration. There was no pushing or shoving, let alone knocking people down and leapfrogging over them.”

  “I swear I saw a few bodies left in the aisle. In the church. Seems like St. Peter would take notice of that.”

  “Stop teasing me.” She flicked a French fry at him. “Behave.”

  “I’m being a gentleman. Just sitting here finishing my vitamin B burger.”

  “Vitamin B?”

  “Bacon. It’s an essential daily requirement.” He grabbed his soda, ripped off the plastic lid and drank deeply from the cup. “Stop lobbing food at me because it isn’t going to distract me. Who were you trying to avoid?”

  “An old boyfriend. While I know he is one of God’s children, he is currently disguised by a very greedy facade. There he is.” She started, turning her head away as a medium-height, medium-build, blond-haired man approached the counter.

  Tan trousers. Tan riding boots. Matching shirt, buttoned up to the collar. A new looking Stetson shaded his face. Standing too straight and talking down to the teenager taking his order.

  Brody didn’t like him. “He can’t be the brightest bulb in the pack if he let you go.”

  “I let him go.” She took another bite of her cheeseburger, pretending as if everything was fine.

  It wasn’t. Brody could feel the pain inside her as if it were his own. Whatever that man did to her was bad. What kind of man could hurt Michelle? She was the kindest person ever.

  Protective anger tore him inside out. But he didn’t act on it. He crushed the hamburger wrapper in his fist until it was a small, crumpled ball.

  What he ought to do is head back to the ranch. He had files to study on his laptop and surveillance data to analyze. There was always the chance that Alice would invite him over for supper and give him a better opportunity to earn their trust. Not to use them, but to protect them.

  That’s what a responsible, seasoned senior agent would do.

  But that isn’t what he wanted to do.

  He had to be crazy as he held out his hand. “Ever been on a motorcycle?”

  “No.” Delight sparkled through her like sunshine through the finest of diamonds.

  Flawless and pure and unreachable, th
at’s what she was, and she was his.

  “Are you saying you’d take me for a spin on your bike?”

  “Sure. For the right price.” He stood, holding out his hand, palm up, to help her from the seat.

  Her palm settled against his, a perfect fit. When she smiled up at him, he saw eternity.

  It wasn’t like riding a horse at full gallop, not in the least. It was more like flying low, Michelle decided as she clung to Brody’s solid back. The pavement swooshed into a black blur whenever she looked down. So she didn’t look down.

  Did she worry about them crashing? No. Brody felt so in control. Competent. She had no problem trusting him completely. He was just that kind of man. Strong, inside and out. Of will and character. With her arms wrapped around his back, she could feel it in him.

  She’d never met a man like Brody. He was perfect, like knights of old in their tarnished armor, strong and gallant and wise. She longed to lay her cheek against the hard plane of his shoulder blade and just hold on to his goodness and strength.

  Of course, the helmet he’d made her wear prevented that. Plus she’d be acting like a forward schoolgirl with a crush and then he would know for sure that she wanted so much more than the friendship she was destined to have with him.

  All very good reasons, but they couldn’t stop the longing inside her. I wish he loved me. More than anything. I wish he wanted me forever.

  Some things weren’t meant to be. She accepted that. But deep in her heart she would always love him. Always.

  She was grown up enough to accept the Lord’s wisdom in guiding her life. Some things weren’t meant to be for a greater reason. She believed that the Lord would take both her and Brody on the best paths for each of their lives.

  Sure, it would be separate paths, but for now, for His reasons, their paths had crossed. And she would enjoy this rare time with Brody while she had the chance.

  Wasn’t every moment in this life a gift? Every loved one a great blessing?

  Brody was one of those wonderful gifts, and she savored the minutes that sped by like water through a sieve—so fast that she hardly had time to cherish the closeness of being with him. Of holding him tight before he took the last exit off the freeway at the mountain pass and circled back.

  As they rode beneath the cheerful blaze of the summer sun toward home, she fought a heavy sadness that grew with each mile. When the ride ended, she would have to let him go.

  Brody hated the sight of the McKaslins’ driveway, marked by the well-groomed gravel turnout and the red barn mailbox planted neatly to one side.

  He downshifted, kicked out his foot to keep the bike well balanced as he made the sharp turn. He felt Michelle’s arms tighten on his shoulders.

  On the return trip, she’d been inch by inch loosening her hold on him. He missed the warm band of her arms wrapped around his back. Tenderness burned within him, sharp and aching.

  He’d never known any emotion like this. Made of respect and awe and wonder. It felt more powerful than any physical force on earth—and it was inside him. A fierce devoted love that felt as if it were in the very center of every cell and the very essence of his soul.

  The McKaslins’ two-story house came into sight amid the green fields and rolling hills. He saw a familiar SUV in the driveway and another motorcycle parked next to it. A man was taking off a helmet—Zach. He was a little early for their agreed upon time. Brody hated having to say goodbye to Michelle even five minutes sooner than he had to.

  He stopped the bike. Killed the engine. Felt Michelle’s hands lift away from the curve of his shoulders. Moving away from him. Taking a part of him with her.

  “That was fantastic!” She whisked off his helmet and shook her hair so that silken strands breezed against his arm. “I want one of those, but Dad would put his foot down.”

  “So hard, it would make a tunnel to China.” Zach walked up, swinging his helmet by the chin straps. “I see you’ve had Michelle as a tour guide. Maybe you don’t need me. I could always head on home. Karen’s got everything set up for a get-together tonight. Brody, you’re invited, by the way.”

  “Hey, thanks.” He’d like that. But did that mean he wouldn’t get to spend the evening with Michelle? Or was she part of the get together?

  “I’m bringing my Monopoly board. Ooh! I have to remember to call Karen and tell her.” As if in answer to his unspoken question, Michelle let him steady her as she climbed off the bike.

  A surge of love washed over him as he enfolded her hand in his. How could he hold back this powerful tide within his heart?

  Unaware of his feelings, Michelle flashed him a smile, the kind that came from not just surface beauty, but from within. “I had the best time, Brody. Thanks. I’ll remember this always.”

  “Me, too.” I love you, he wanted to say. But how could he? They weren’t alone. He was on assignment. And she appeared to have no obvious feelings for him.

  He thought of something less revealing to say to her instead. “This sure is some beautiful country here. The more I see of it, the more I can’t believe my eyes.”

  “That’s how we all feel.” She finger combed her tangled hair with her free hand and spun away, with as much energy as a young filly, all legs and lean lines and spirit. “Oh, here’s your helmet. Like I need it in the house.”

  “You never know. A falling meteor might crash through the roof. A sudden tornado might roll by.”

  “It’s a clear sky.” She brought with her the scent of strawberries and goodness as she handed him his headgear. “I won’t hold you up. I know you two handsome dudes have hills to conquer. Trails to blaze. See ya later!”

  “Later.” Brody revved his bike, cutting off the sound of his voice, keeping his emotions private.

  He waited until she’d skipped up the steps and disappeared inside the house before he released the accelerator and the engine quieted down to a low rumble.

  “So that’s why you’re sticking around.” Zach was buckling his helmet’s chin strap. “You’re sweet on Michelle.”

  “Sweet on her? Nah.” That was only the truth. He was to the marrow of his bones in love with her. “I’m just short of cash, and working for Pete seemed like a good idea.”

  “Sure it is.” Zach’s chuckle was warm, not censuring. “I could always use another brother-in-law. And before you deny it, I saw the way you were looking at her. A man only has that expression on his face when he means business. She’s a real nice person. She’d make a good man a fine wife.”

  “I know. I’m not out to hurt her, if that’s what this is about.” His resolve was steel. He loved her. He would never hurt her. He’d die first.

  “I’m not worried. You’re more than you seem, Brody. I like that. C’mon. I’ll show you some of the best trails you’ve ever ridden.”

  Already missing Michelle, Brody turned his bike away from the house and followed Zach’s dust trail down the dirt service road that spliced the ranch in two.

  He might have left her behind, but his thoughts remained faithfully on her. As they would be for the rest of his life.

  He was here on false pretenses. That was the problem. So, how was he going to make her believe his heart was true?

  Well, he was one of the best agents in his division for a reason. He was capable. He was determined.

  He’d find a way to make her believe in his love, with the Lord’s help.

  Chapter Nine

  Michelle tapped along the new cement driveway and up the walk to the front steps of the brick front two-story house and rapped on the glass panel of the screen door. She didn’t want to ring the bell in case baby Allie was asleep.

  There was no answer, so she juggled the grocery bags and the huge straw bag she’d thrown all her stuff in, and opened the door. “Karen?”

  She heard footsteps overhead and sure enough, there was Karen popping around the corner newel post on the landing. “Thanks for not ringing. I just put Allie down. She’s actually sleeping.”

  “Oh, that
means I have to wait to snuggle her.” Michelle laid her bag and sacks on the breakfast bar. “I picked up dessert. Look. Whipped cream. Ice cream.”

  “I’ve got syrups and sprinkles.” Karen whizzed past her, balancing a laundry basket on one hip, and opened the laundry room door. “When Zach gets back, we’ll barbecue. He was glad to have someone to go trail biking with.”

  “Oh, so he told you about Brody?” Act cool, Michelle. Chill. There was no reason to let everyone know about her crush on Brody. She piled the container of Neapolitan ice cream into the freezer as if finding enough space on the wire racks was what really mattered. “I guess he’s working for Dad or something.”

  Karen set the basket down on top of the washer with a thunk. “I guess so. Mom pointed him out to me in church. Sitting right next to you.”

  Remember, be calm. “He’s only a friend. I hardly know him.”

  “Mom made it sound as if you’d saved his life when he’d crashed on the road, avoiding a mother deer and her fawn.” Karen cast a sideways glance, like a detective after the truth.

  No way! Michelle thought of Bart, the neighboring farmer who kept trying to ask her out. Maybe a mental picture of him would help. “He got scraped up and hurt his ankle. He’s fine. He was nowhere near death.”

  “Mom sings his praises.”

  “Oh, really? I guess he’s nice enough.” Michelle closed the freezer door and wadded up the plastic grocery sacks for Karen’s reuse container under the sink. “Did you want me to set up the game?”

  “Sure. Kirby called. She’s on her way. Kendra should be here any minute—” A light rap rattled on the screen door. “There she is now.”

  As Karen rushed off to let Kendra in and inform her of the sleeping baby, Michelle felt horrible. It was the first time she’d ever been dishonest with her sister. She hadn’t meant to lie. She’d only been trying to protect her heart.

  And why? It was already too late. She’d never had a chance with Brody. She never would. He was…Brody. Everything she’d ever dreamed a man should be.