Heart and Soul (Love Inspired, 251)

by Jillian Hart

  Not the horse he’d saddled up to ride out here, but another one. His horse stood at attention, ears swiveling, nickering a greeting to an approaching horse.

  He felt a shock of emotion. Soft and gentle. Without thinking he swung in the direction of the river where he’d noticed a path leading to the public riding trail.

  He already knew who was taking a shortcut through the field. He knew because he could feel her. He eased up out of the grasses and spotted the brim of a lady’s Stetson, the bounce of a ponytail and her perfect profile. The wink of gold jewelry in the sun.

  Michelle. His entire being filled with tenderness. That was the woman he was going to marry. It was the only thought in his mind.

  That was wrong. It was dangerous to be this distracted. He couldn’t help himself. The cowboy hat she wore was small, just enough to shade her eyes, but not the soft beauty of her face.

  “Brody, is that you?” She squinted at him because of the distance. “What are you doing hiding in the grass?”

  “I’m up to no good.” He swiped the bits of grass and dirt from his jeans and climbed to his feet, thankful the small knapsack he’d carried camouflaged well with the grass and dirt. He’d come back to get it later. “Just out riding and took a break.”

  “Dad gave you permission to ride Jewel? I can’t believe it. I don’t get to ride his favorite horse. How did you get so lucky?”

  “She’d come up to the fence when I was passing by and I petted her. We seemed to strike it off.” He gathered the mare’s reins and untied them from the low bush he’d tethered her to. “Your dad said I had a way with her, and how hard I’ve been working for him. So he said since I had the experience to handle her, that I might as well ride her.”

  “He’s a tough taskmaster, you know.”

  “He likes a job done right and done well. So do I.”

  “So that’s how you won him over.” Michelle knew the admiration showed in her voice. Her dad did have high standards, and he liked Brody. That said something about the kind of man Brody was. “I like your dad.” Brody pulled a mint candy from his pocket and let Jewel lap it from his palm. “Pete and I found out we have a lot in common. One is a respect for horses. We started talking, and one thing led to another. I wound up telling him how much experience I’ve had in the saddle.”

  From the rodeo, of course, and being around horses growing up. Michelle gave her Keno a pat on the neck, and a “good boy” for standing so patiently.

  She swung down, the creak of the leather saddle as familiar as the ground at her feet. The mild wind, scented by the ripe grass and maturing alfalfa in the field, swept over her, as those smells had every summer of her life.

  What wasn’t familiar was the man striding through the grass to meet her. Even with Jewel’s reins in his hand, he moved with the predatory might of a hunting wolf.

  Everything about him, from his intense gaze to the indomitable set of his unshaven jaw to the hard bunch of his muscles beneath the denim fabric, made her want to run.

  Every time she saw him, there was more to see. More of his strength. His power. His integrity. Like a cornered doe with no out, she tensed—too paralyzed to fight the inevitable. The secret love within her doubled, expanding through her whole being.

  Stop gawking at him, Michelle. You can’t let love grow for him, remember? He knew she had a crush on him, but he didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know the depth of what she felt. The force of it.

  She needed to act as if he didn’t matter. As if they could still be friends. Sure, and exactly how did she do that? It was impossible to shut off the feelings inside her. To deny her heart. Especially when he was striding through the grass with a fiercely intense look on his face.

  He was coming after her like a man used to dominating everything around him. Someone who was in control and forged his own path.

  That was scary, not because it was threatening, but for a whole different reason. She quaked inside, deep in her spirit, where she was the most vulnerable.

  Could she let him know that? There was just no way. “What were you doing out here? Wait. I know. You were keeping the snakes and the flies company.”

  He didn’t crack a smile. “I’m on the lookout for the nosy female who just interrupted my nap.”

  “Hey! I’m insulted. I’m not nosy.”

  “Then what are you doing out here?” He looked intimidating, but a spark of trouble glinted in his dark gaze. “Come to spy on me, huh?”

  What was he up to? “This is my family’s land. I was passing by and decided to see what kind of varmints were infesting the field.”

  “No varmints here. Just an upstanding guy out for a little peace and quiet.”

  “Then I guess I’ll just have to leave you here in the grass with the rest of the snakes,” she said kiddingly, but that was not how she felt. Not at all.

  She wanted to keep the conversation light, but inside she felt as if her sadness weighed a ton. Maybe two tons. Brody wasn’t looking at her. He had to be thinking what he had done to deserve a woman’s schoolgirl crush?

  You captured my heart, that’s what.

  Maybe she ought to mount up and save what little dignity she had left. “Are you headed back to the house?”

  “No destination, really. Just enjoying the day. Well, almost evening.” His stony expression softened and he tossed her a sheepish, lopsided grin.

  It was devastating. She wanted him to love her. She longed for it with her entire being.

  She needed to face the truth: he didn’t want her. Stop doing this to yourself.

  She couldn’t help it. Just as she couldn’t stop the warm glow of tenderness within her. The most she could do was deny it. She lifted her chin, prayed for strength and the wisdom, and made her decision.

  His shadow fell across her, shielding her from the sunlight. Standing before her without saying a word.

  What was he thinking? He wasn’t mocking her. He wasn’t making fun of her. He wasn’t running for the hills. Instead, he met her gaze and the impact of it felt like a great intimacy. As if he intended to see everything within her. Every gleam of love. Every burn of adoration.

  It was as if there were only the two of them in the entire world. Her vow not to let herself love him any more crumbled apart and her heart split wide open.

  She was defenseless against him. She’d never experienced anything as fearful and thrilling all at once—as if the solid earth had fallen away beneath her feet and she was falling down a mile-high cliff with nothing to save her from a hard and lethal fall.

  Nothing, except Brody.

  “I’d like to head back with you.” His rumbling baritone wrapped around her like the comfort of a warm electric blanket.

  “You would?” Wow, that was brilliant conversation, Michelle. Impress him, why don’t you?

  He didn’t seem to be paying attention to her lame words. He was staring at her. Did she dare to hope that was tenderness she saw in him?

  No, she didn’t believe it. If he loved her, wouldn’t he have said something about it by now?

  She turned away, moving on autopilot, inserting her foot in the stirrup. She hopped up into the saddle, pulled her leg over and settled into the seat.

  Why was she on autopilot? Because she was watching Brody. He rose into the saddle like a pro. He was masculine grace and quiet control as he held the leather reins in his left hand, loose and low, just over the saddle horn.

  Like a true horseman, he balanced easily between the stirrups, his weight shifting effortlessly as he placed pressure with his heels and Jewel eased forward.

  What a man. Her entire being sang with the praise.

  What was she going to do now? She loved Brody. More with every passing second. How was she going to hold back her heart?

  Without an answer and with no defense, Michelle kept Keno a few paces behind Jewel.

  Brody made his horse fall back and into place beside her.

  Great. Now she had to talk to him. The longing within her wa
s so powerful, it hurt like a gash from a sharp blade.

  “What is a pretty lady like you doing unescorted on a Sunday afternoon?” His deep voice resonated along her skin like the wind, like the sun.

  She wished he didn’t affect her that way.

  “I was out riding with Jenna.”

  “You do that a lot?”

  “Since we were both in first grade.”

  “Practically lifetime friends. That must be something, to have a friendship like that. To have a life like that.”

  “I’m grateful.” She knew that was a lame response but it was all she could think of to say. Nothing else came to mind.

  What was she going to talk to him about? About how she was falling for him? Thank you very much, but no!

  Brody cleared his throat. “Does she live very close?”

  “The next farm on the back side of our land. We always meet at the fork at the river, halfway between our houses and ride for miles and miles. And talk.”

  “Women talking. There’s a surprise.” Brody’s grin was slow and mellow.

  His smile made her ache all the way down to her soul.

  Why his smile? Why this man? Feeling this way was torture. To know that he didn’t love her in return. He was unaware how much he was hurting her, but he was doing it all the same.

  “You think all I do is talk on the phone and shop, right?” She braced against his answer, already knowing what he was going to say.

  “That was my first impression of you.”

  There, she knew it. Was this the place where he broke her heart? Told her with a gentle hint that he wasn’t interested? She braced herself for the worst.

  “Then I took a closer look at the pretty girl who rescued me, and guess what I saw?”

  His warmth had her looking up. Had her noticing there was no derision on his face, no disdain the way it had been on Rick’s, the only other man she’d let this close. No. What she saw was something as rare and as tender as the love in her heart.

  “I saw one of the most lovely women I’ve ever met.” He gruffly cleared his voice and Jewel sped up the pace.

  Michelle urged Keno forward. “What did you say?”

  “I said it’s a sorry state when circumstances force a man like me to be rescued by a woman like you. I thought you were an angel, you know. With all your golden hair. The way it shimmers like platinum in the sun.”

  Was he serious? Michelle’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Tears burned in her eyes. This couldn’t be real, could it? Why wasn’t he letting her down gently? Why was he making her love him even more? No one, ever, had said such nice things to her.

  “Of course, you didn’t know that you were helping a renegade like me.”

  Oh, so this was how he was going to let her down. By telling her all his faults, that he wasn’t good for her, and so she shouldn’t want to harbor romantic feelings for him. Okay, she could see what he was doing.

  She could handle it. She was ready. Why wait? Her heart was already breaking. “You’re a renegade, huh? I suppose you’re going to say next that I shouldn’t get mixed up with a bad guy like you. Is that it?”

  He winced, as if he were in pain. As if she’d hit the mark. He cleared his throat, but his voice remained gruff and gravely. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be here with you. You shouldn’t trust me.”

  “Why? You’ve made no promises. You’ve had no reason to lie. You work hard. Dad compliments you. I actually heard him.”

  “Well, so, I painted his garage. I fixed his tractor when it broke down in the field. I know how to hay.”

  “Do you know how rare Dad’s compliments are? They are like the Olympics. It only comes around once every four years. Well, until they started doing it every two, but still.”

  She charmed him. Brody hid his chuckle because he didn’t want her to think he was laughing at her. Her beautiful and buoyant spirit drew him like the moon to the earth, and she pulled at the tides within him.

  He ought to be resisting her. Keeping this strictly professional. And what did he want to do? Hold her hand. Kiss her. Tell her how he truly felt. It was wrong, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stop how he was feeling. It was like trying to stop the earth from revolving around the sun.

  His love for Michelle was tugging at him, tearing at his resistance. Making him wish for a future.

  Maybe he didn’t have to choose. Maybe he could love her and do his job. He was a good agent. He was a strong-willed man. He could separate the personal feelings from the professional.

  It hadn’t escaped him that Friday night she’d planned an evening with her sister. Or last night, Saturday night, another big date night, she’d spent talking with girlfriends over ice cream and hot chocolate in the back booth of the town’s diner—Hunter had noticed when he’d been tailing Mick.

  Here goes nothing, he thought, and prepared for rejection. “I noticed you haven’t been dating anyone. A pretty woman like you must have men knocking at your door all the time.”

  “I don’t date random guys.”

  Good. Okay. That’s what he would have guessed, but he had to make sure. “You do date, though, right?”

  “I’ve been known to say yes now and then.”

  “I suppose you’d like to get married one day. I mean, don’t all women?”

  “I don’t want to marry some farmer guy just to get married. I especially don’t want to marry anyone who can’t see me.”

  “What does that mean? Who couldn’t see you? You’re lovely and charming and amazing. All a man has to do is look.” Couldn’t she see that? Couldn’t she see how much he loved her?

  She bowed her head, and the brim of her hat hid her expression. She seemed sad. “You don’t have to compliment me. I’m all grown up. I know what you’re trying to say.”

  “You do?” That didn’t bode well. He knew for a fact she liked him. What had she called it? A major crush. That was a good place to start building a relationship, right?

  “I don’t want to marry just anybody.” She said it with certainty, and she sat tall in her saddle. Chin held high, she sent her horse into a faster walk. “I don’t want some man who sees what you probably see.”

  That confused him. What was she getting at? She didn’t want some man like him? No, that couldn’t be right. “What do you mean?”

  “You see a ditz with a cell phone and credit cards.”

  Is that what she thought? Hadn’t she been listening? What was hurting her? He could feel her pain as if it was his heart that had been broken. His trust. His belief in himself. What had happened? This had something to do with the old boyfriend. That wrinkle-free, self-impressed Rick.

  She whipped away and urged Keno into a full gallop. Before Brody could react, she was far ahead of him. All he could see was the back of her horse, Keno’s black tail breezing out behind him as he galloped faster, poetry in motion. Michelle balanced in the saddle, her spine straight, her shoulders square, her golden hair streaming in the wind.

  “Michelle!”

  She didn’t draw her horse to a stop. No, she sent him into an all-out run.

  He pushed Jewel as fast as she could go, eating up ground, flying over the worn path through the field. Gaining distance. Focused totally on Michelle. On closing the distance between them. Her horse was fast. A good strong Arabian, but his mount was faster. He asked her for more, and the mare gave everything she had.

  He was helpless. Until he reached Michelle’s side, he couldn’t do anything for her. She was in pain. He could feel it. Was she as afraid as he was? Afraid to risk everything for the chance at real love?

  He had to tell her. He was terrified, but he was brave. He was strong. He couldn’t let her hurt like this for one moment longer. He had to reach her. He had to stop her before she went through that gate and into the yard. Or he felt as if he’d be losing everything. This was his only chance.

  He was almost there. She’d stopped Keno at the gate and was reaching down to unlock it fro
m her lofty position in the saddle. He had time, he would get to her before she went through. He nosed Jewel directly toward the gate and used the horse’s body to block it.

  Michelle didn’t look up. The brim of her hat hid her expression, but he didn’t have to see her to know she was crying. He could feel her emotion in his own heart, as if she were a part of him.

  How amazing was that? Before he met Michelle, he didn’t believe in soul mates. He didn’t believe in love at first sight. He didn’t believe in true love.

  Brody knew this connection he had with Michelle and the infinite love he felt for her couldn’t be by chance. God had meant for this to be.

  So he shouldn’t be afraid. And neither should she.

  He had to make this better. He had to fix her unhappiness. Show her there wasn’t one thing to be afraid of because he’d die before he said one word to hurt her.

  As if it were the most natural thing in the world, he cupped her lovely face with the palm of his hand. How soft she felt, like the finest silk. The glow within him strengthened, warming the cold places in his soul. His love for her was phenomenal, stronger than steel, unlike anything he’d ever known.

  And he knew that’s what God meant love to be.

  Risking everything. His heart. His future. His soul. He simply told her the truth. “You are lovely. Like a fairy tale come true in my lonely life, and I love you.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. She didn’t move. She didn’t breathe. Brody went ice-cold. She didn’t love him?

  Then he saw the smile radiating across her beloved face.

  And into his soul.

  Chapter Eleven

  Would it be another long week of not seeing Michelle? Brody hated to admit it, but not being around her was killing him. And why?

  Because he’d risked everything. He’d stood out on a limb and told her how he felt. She hadn’t said the words in return, and now the next step was hearing her say that she loved him. She cared about him. Was it too much to hope for more?