Flames from Ashes

by Caitlyn Willows

  “Goddamn, son of a bitch,” she cried. “You know he did this. You know it.”

  “Calm down, and take the oxygen now. You aren’t doing yourself or your baby any good by fighting me.”

  Reason filtered in. Fear lingered. Though Sandy cooperated with Gina and the paramedics who took over, she still reminded everyone she came in contact with she was pregnant, still demanded constant reports on Clint. Tears and the shakes came with the adrenaline crash. The stench of smoke clinging to her turned her stomach. The ambulance ride made it worse. She warned the paramedic she was going to puke seconds before she spewed the contents of her stomach. Embarrassment and guilt added to the weight on her shoulders, no matter how much the paramedic assured her it was okay. At the emergency room, Sandy started all over again. “I’m pregnant. Is Clint Clifford okay?”

  It was only when she was finally ensconced in a hospital room that she calmed down. An IV saline drip ran into her left arm. Under normal circumstances, she might have been cleared to leave. Being pregnant changed everything. They wanted to monitor her overnight for complications. She still reeked of smoke and would be given the all-clear to bathe once the bag of saline was empty, which looked like it would be soon. That was fine. At the moment, showering required more energy than she could expend.

  Clint was in another room down the hall, conscious, recovering, and also being held overnight for observation because he’d lost consciousness. Sandy would have felt infinitely better if they were in the same room. Not that it would have done him any favors. His association with her had nearly gotten him killed. It wouldn’t happen again. Keith had fucked up her life. Sandy wouldn’t allow Clint to be dragged into the muck with her.

  A fresh batch of tears overwhelmed her. She draped her right arm over her eyes in a pathetic attempt to squelch the emotion. It was impossible. Just the thought of what she was considering tore her heart in two, and it would do the same to Clint. But she had little choice. Staying with her meant a life of misery or another brush with death. Maybe the next attempt would be successful. Sandy couldn’t live with herself, knowing she’d caused Clint’s death. Having him alive, brokenhearted, and pissed off at her was preferable to him being in the ground.

  “Hey, Sandy.” Erica’s soft voice came to her from the doorway.

  Sandy dropped her arm and watched Erica walk her way. She was a classic, full-figured beauty of a woman. She wondered if Erica realized how beautiful she was or how well-matched she and Mike Barnard were. Both were tall and good-looking beyond words, and they beamed with love in each other’s presence and had from the moment they’d met the year before. Too bad they hadn’t known that back then. Erica had married Keith, never realizing how Mike felt.

  Detective Posner stood by the door. Hell had to have frozen over for Erica to be here with him. They’d been at odds since the fire that had destroyed Erica’s home days ago—another arson presumed to be Keith’s doing, because Erica had finally left him.

  Posner looked as haggard and rumpled as ever. Sandy wondered how the man slept with himself at night. He’d essentially accused the entire fire department of torching that house. He’d scoffed when Sandy reported the rape. How dare he show up now, hat in hand, with the peace offering of Erica to back him up?

  A sob tore from Sandy’s raw throat. “He did this. You know he did this.” Of all people, Erica knew the true hell Keith could wreak. Their divorce would finally free her from that misery.

  “I know.” Erica sat beside her and lifted Sandy’s hand in hers.

  Sandy grabbed hold. “Everything’s gone.” Everything she’d worked for. Yes, the insurance would cover it, but what about… What did it matter? What did anything matter?

  “I know,” Erica said.

  Hell yeah, she knew. She was in the same situation. But she’d found love out of the ashes of her life. All Sandy got was more ashes heaped on the pile.

  “I’ve moved in with Mike and out of the rental. You can stay there. Just about everything you need is in there.”

  Not safety. Not love. Not Clint. Never Clint again. More tears trickled down to her chin. “So he can torch that too?” Because Keith would. What he stood to gain from such an action mystified her. Although, considering how his world was tumbling down around him, her baby was proof of rape.

  Posner cleared his throat and dared to edge forward.

  Sandy shot him a glare. “I suppose you’re going to say I lied about this too.”

  “No, ma’am.” He looked sufficiently humbled. “I want to catch this person as much as the rest of you and was hoping you could answer some questions for me.”

  She nodded at him to continue and tightened her hold on Erica’s hand.

  “Please tell me what happened.” A simple request, gently given. Posner was going to have to do a hell of a lot more than that for her to forgive or trust him.

  Sandy swallowed past the dryness in her throat. “My friend and I had fallen asleep. The smoke alarm woke me. The house was filled with smoke. I jumped up and dressed. Then realized Clint was unconscious. The smoke got to him fast. I wrapped him in the bedspread, threw his gear in with him, and dragged him out. I remember flames coming from the kitchen, I think. There was just so much smoke. I got him outside, as far as I could, and next thing I know, Gina’s standing over me, trying to get an oxygen mask over my face.”

  Posner nodded as he scribbled the info on his notepad. “And your friend’s name?”

  “Clint Clifford. He’s been admitted too. They tell me he’ll be all right.”

  “Good.” He smiled. “I’ll get his statement in a few minutes. Anything else come to mind or strike you as odd?”

  She shook her head.

  “If it does, give me a call.”

  He handed her his business card. Sandy relinquished Erica’s hand to take it.

  “If I have any more questions—”

  “I won’t be here,” she said. “And considering the leaks in your department that brought reporters to Erica’s door yesterday, you don’t get to know where I’m going or my phone number.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He bowed his head. “I’ll leave the two of you alone. I want to talk to your friend.” He started for the door.

  Sandy snapped forward. “He doesn’t get to know I’m leaving either. Got it?”

  “Understood.”

  The son of a bitch had the nerve to frown at her. Sandy was upset enough to tear his head off. He left the room fast.

  She eased back into the pillow, ready to test the bounds of friendship. “I need a favor from you, Erica.”

  “What is it?” Such a careful response. Sandy might not have respected her if Erica had said anything.

  “My purse is in the bottom of that stand.” She pointed to the nightstand beside her. “I managed to grab it with my go-bag.” It had actually been in her go-bag. Thank God for paranoia, or she wouldn’t have her ID. She’d packed tight, too, giving herself at least a week’s worth of clothing. Another comfort filtered in—all her important papers were in a fireproof safe in the closet. “Get my keys, and bring my car here. I’m leaving first thing in the morning.”

  “I’ll be glad to get your car here if you’re sure that’s what you want to do.”

  “I’m sure. I can’t stay here. Not after all this.” Saying it hurt. She had to be strong.

  “Is that fair to your friend, Sandy? Clearly the two of you had made some—”

  “It’s over and done with, and that’s all I’m going to say on the subject. How do I know Keith won’t walk through that door”—she jerked her head toward it—“and finish me off in my sleep? Hell, I’d leave tonight if I could. I’d check myself out and get the hell out of here.”

  “But you won’t, right? You’ll wait until daylight?”

  She managed a halfhearted laugh. “I’m desperate, not stupid. Right now, I feel like shit. Besides, it’s hard to spot someone following you in the dark. Waiting until morning is my best option.” Fear might threaten to paralyze her, but
survival demanded a clear head. Keeping Clint alive was her main priority right now.

  “Where are you going to go?” Erica asked.

  “My parents in San Diego. If Posner needs to reach me, he can go through you.”

  “CJ, Bub, and Berto are downstairs. We’ll get your car here. I’ll leave your car keys with the nurse on duty. Will you text me in the morning to let me know you’re on your way?”

  Sandy nodded. “I’ll need your number.” She could have looked it up on the hotline the firefighter family had set up but didn’t have the energy.

  Erica pulled her notepad from her purse, wrote it down, and put the paper in Sandy’s purse. “Here you go. You get some rest.”

  “I’ll rest when Keith Randall is dead and in the ground.” She’d do the deed herself if she wasn’t afraid of getting caught. God, it was tempting to use her sister-in-law’s rumored connections. Even former undercover cops still knew people.

  “You should stay here with me,” Sandy said. “He could be watching right now, waiting for his chance. He’ll follow you, know where you are.”

  Erica took her hand again. “Chances are he already knows. And as long as Maude Allen is on duty, no one is coming off that elevator who doesn’t belong.”

  “You’re right.” The ward nurse was a towering queen of determination. Fresh tears accompanied Sandy’s resigned sigh. “I’m being a crazy person.” Who wouldn’t be after the night they’d had?

  “Rest.” Erica gave her hand a squeeze, then left.

  How could she rest without Clint by her side? You better get used to it. Great, now her conscience was nagging her.

  Clatter at the door jerked her gaze that direction. Her heart soared with the hope it was Clint, then plummeted when she saw a woman enter, pushing ultrasound equipment ahead of her.

  And you’re going to walk out on him? Sandy blocked out the hysterical laughter in her head.

  “I’m Dr. Ryan, OB/GYN.” Her bright smile promised a chirpy disposition.

  Sandy braced herself and checked her own attitude. The woman was only doing her job. As a professional, Sandy could appreciate that and what it was like to deal with troublesome people. She refused to be one of them.

  “I understand you’re approximately six weeks along?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Good. We’re going to have a peek at your little one.”

  Sandy’s breath caught. Her mind blanked as she watched Dr. Ryan set up the equipment.

  “What’s the name of your OB doctor?” she asked.

  She shook the cobwebs away. “I don’t have one yet. It’s all so new.” She was getting good at this lying business.

  “I understand.” Dr. Ryan smiled. “You don’t want to delay, though.” She pressed the controls to lower the bed. “I’m going to need you to lie flat. Now don’t get worried if we can’t find a heartbeat. It’s a little early on, and you could be off on the time.”

  Sandy didn’t bother to tell her that she knew the exact date and time of conception.

  Dr. Ryan tucked the sheet and blanket down to Sandy’s pelvis, then lifted the gown to expose her belly. “Okay, here we go.”

  She wished Clint were there, holding her hand, helping her through yet another hurdle. It felt like an eternity for the doctor to run the wand over her belly. The furrow between the woman’s eyebrows didn’t help. Then she smiled.

  “There.” Dr. Ryan turned the machine so Sandy could see the viewing screen. “See that blinking? That’s your baby’s heartbeat. And this is the yolk sac.” She pointed to the area around the peanut shape. “Measurements…yes, about six weeks. Heart rate one hundred fifteen beats per minute.”

  “Is that normal?” Emotion choked Sandy’s throat.

  “It is.” Dr. Ryan pressed a button and something printed out. She tore the paper off and handed it to Sandy. “Baby’s first picture.”

  Talk about a reality check. Her baby. Their baby, if she wanted. And she did, but not at the cost of Clint’s life. Or the baby’s peace of mind. There was only one way to make sure they both stayed safe. That was to leave. She’d already decided that. But seeing this picture and what it might represent for her and Clint, Sandy wasn’t sure she was strong enough to walk away. Hell, she couldn’t bear the night without Clint by her side. She wished he’d been there to see the ultrasound in person. To hold her hand, brush his thumb over her knuckles. To watch the smile blossom over his face.

  She wiped the gel off her belly with the towel the doctor provided while she packed up. The minute the doctor cleared the room, Sandy grabbed the IV pole and headed for the hallway. Nurse Allen blocked her before she got three steps from the room.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” The woman towered over her, hands on hips and ready to do battle. Sandy refused to be cowed.

  “To see my boyfriend, Clint Clifford.”

  “Then let’s get you a wheelchair.”

  “I’d prefer to walk. It’s better for me anyway.”

  “Not if you do a face-plant and I have to scoop you off the floor. You’ve been through quite an ordeal tonight. Indulge me.”

  Nice of her to let Sandy think she had a choice. “Thank you.”

  “Besides”—Nurse Allen snapped her fingers to an orderly, who wasted little time grabbing a wheelchair—“I can’t have Clint thinking I didn’t take good care of his woman.”

  “I didn’t know you and Clint were acquainted.” Sandy sank into the wheelchair when the orderly put it behind her.

  “We went to high school together. I’ve got her.” Nurse Allen waved the orderly off, taking the handles herself. “I can’t say we’re the best of friends and all that, but he is top-notch. Scared the stuffing out of me when he was brought in.”

  “Then you can imagine how I felt.”

  Nurse Allen patted her shoulder. “That’s a determined woman to drag a man his size from a burning building. I know that’s what you’re trained to do, but still, that makes you top-notch in my book too.”

  Sandy glanced up at her. “How is he? Are you allowed to tell me, since I’m not family?”

  “Sugar, you’re having his baby. Far as I’m concerned, that makes you family. Paramedics gave him oxygen, and he came around pretty quick. He’s a little hoarse, but the doctor didn’t feel the need to intubate him. That might change as the night progresses. Want me to have you moved into his room? You might not get much sleep with him coughing, but I suspect you wouldn’t worrying in a separate room either.”

  “Thank you. I would appreciate that.”

  “Thought you might. He’ll rest better with you in there with him. He’s been pretty worried about you. Then I let him know you saved his ass. That shut him up. Nothing like seeing a strong man outheroed by a woman.”

  Sandy smiled with Nurse Allen’s light laughter. She had to admit she liked her more with every second. Clint’s room was three doors down from hers. The nurse maneuvered wheelchair and IV through the door like the pro she was. Clint’s face lit up when he saw her. It helped dismiss his pallor. Like her, he could use a good wash. Maybe she could remedy that situation.

  “You look like you’ve been through a bout of morning sickness,” Sandy told him as the nurse parked her between the two beds.

  “Trust me. I don’t feel that good.” His voice was rough and raspy from the smoke inhalation.

  Nurse Allen set the brakes. “There you go. All set. You need help into the bed?”

  “You’re staying?” Clint asked.

  “You promised I’d never have to sleep alone as long as we’re together. Since you can’t come to me, I came to you.” She stood and slipped her hand into his. He held on tight. Tears shimmered in his eyes, but he blinked them away.

  “Thanks, Maude,” he said.

  “Not a problem. You two behave. Save the craziness for your own home.” She winked and left the room, pushing the wheelchair before her.

  He brought Sandy’s hand to his lips, kissed her fingers, and pressed her palm against
his cheek. “God. You saved my life. Are you all right?”

  “I am.” She held up the ultrasound picture. “Baby seems to be as well. I saw the heartbeat.”

  He released her to hold the printout. The corners of his eyes crinkled with his smile. “I wish I could have seen that.”

  Sighing, he handed it back to her. Sandy placed it on the table between the beds.

  “Do you know what happened?” he asked.

  “No. Smoke alarms woke me, and I got us out.”

  “I never should have had those two beers. I’m usually not such a lightweight. I can’t believe they knocked me out like that, especially spaced out the way they were, having one before dinner and the other after.” He slowly shook his head.

  “It was probably the hot sex.”

  That drew a small chuckle from him. “There was that. Dwight’s going to bring my truck to the hospital for me.”

  She ran the list of his family members and work associates through her head and came up empty. “Dwight?”

  “Detective Posner. I coached his kids in basketball.”

  Of course he did. Valley View was a small town.

  “Maude told me afterward that your friend Erica was bringing your car. Great minds, yeah?”

  A slow lift of his eyebrow told Sandy that either Maude or Posner had told him she had been planning to leave.

  “Two questions. Are you doing a runner on me? And were you planning to tell me or just walk out?”

  No easy answers here. “You were almost killed tonight because of me and my history with Keith. I care too much about you to put you at risk any further. Yes, I was planning to leave. Yes, I told Posner I didn’t want you to know. I’d like to say that’s because I wanted you to hear it from me. But I was beyond upset and panicked. I can’t honestly say what I was really going to do. I will say that I didn’t want you to stop me. I want you safe. I need you safe.” Because damn it all, I love you.

  “What about what I want and need?”

  When she sighed, he pulled her hand into his again. “Sorry, that was selfish of me, but I’m sure you can understand that I have issues with people walking out on me.”