Anxious Hearts

by Felicia Tatum

  I would open my shop in October. I would find my sister, and save my other from herself. Any other option wasn’t valid, and I had to do what I do best. Protect the people I love and care about. This new sister was still a stranger to me, but the same blood and DNA ran through our veins. We shared a father, the piece of shit that he was, and that meant something to me.

  Daphne

  Fear pressed down on my chest, cutting off my air supply and making all thought processes impossible. Francesca and Cade’s wedding was tomorrow, the rehearsal dinner happening in a few short hours, and my pants wouldn’t button. Each week, my clothing became a little tighter, but now it wouldn’t even close.

  What was I going to do?

  Secrecy was my specialty, and so far, no one knew I was pregnant. I was taking care of myself, going to the doctor and my therapist as often as they said, not drinking, eating as healthily as I could, but I hadn’t told anyone. Somehow, I’d kept the morning sickness a secret at work, carrying a water bottle and saying I was trying to lose five pounds, so I had to pee a lot when in fact I was puking my guts up.

  Morning sickness was no joke. It wasn’t only for mornings, either, as it often attacked at all hours of the day and night. Sleep wasn’t something I got enough of, yet I craved it more than ever before. Who knew growing a human was so exhausting?

  As much as I needed to, I dreaded trying on my dress. Luckily, Francesca picked out a one shoulder chiffon, floor length gown. It was loose around the middle, so hopefully no one would see my noticeable bump. She’d stuck me with orange, the only one wearing it, since I was the maid of honor, saying it would look best with my tanned skin and darker hair.

  I didn’t like wearing orange, but for her I would. Tonight was the rehearsal dinner, followed by her bachelorette party, where it was going to be difficult for me to hide my condition when everyone was drinking. Parties were always my thing, and it was going to be suspicious if I wasn’t participating. My friends weren’t stupid, and I’d have to reveal my secret soon.

  How did I tell my best friends I was pregnant and didn’t know who the father was?

  Throwing my pants to the other side of the room, I searched for my stretchy skirt and a loose top. No way was I going to take away from Francesca’s special day, but I knew I’d have to tell them soon. Besides, it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it all. Not having my depression medicine was hard. My moods were out of control, and I cried at the drop of a hat. I wasn’t used to feeling, and it was freaking me out almost as much as thinking about becoming a mother.

  None of that mattered at the moment, though, because my best friend was getting married in about twenty-four hours and I had a dinner and party to get through. I dressed quickly, happier with the ease of getting my skirt on, and was out the door.

  Francesca and Cade decided to wed in her backyard, making much of the planning simpler. No deposits or long waits for an available date were needed. I’d taken today and yesterday off, put it in months ago, in order to decorate and ensure everything was in order. If I could, I would plan weddings and parties for a living, because it was so fun, but the demand wasn’t high enough in our small town for it to work. And now that I was going to be a mother, it was time to start thinking about my child’s future. Having a small business that could go under at any moment wasn’t stable for a child, I couldn’t do that to my little musician. He deserved the best from me, better than I was to myself, and I would make it possible any way I could.

  I got to Francesca’s house an hour earlier than everyone else, hoping to have some time alone with her to get the last minute details in order and set up for the dinner. Adjusting bows and the homemade “wedding this way” signs we’d made on my way in, I finally got to the door and let myself in. At this point in our friendship, we were family, and it was just what we did.

  She stood in the kitchen, directing Cade on where to move the table. “Hey,” I called, inspecting the living room as I walked through.

  “Daphne!” she squealed, running and embracing me hard.

  Hugging her back, I backed away slightly. My doctor said my medicines and the alcohol hadn’t affected my little one, but I was precautious with everything anyway. I would never forgive myself if I harmed him in some way. “I missed you too in the five hours we were away from each other,” I chuckled.

  “This is entirely too stressful. If you ever get married, please just elope,” she said, exasperated. In the background, Cade looked over and nodded profusely, gaining a loud laugh from me.

  “Y’all are cracking me up. Stop acting like you aren’t loving every second of this,” I said as I shook my head and finger at them. “Now, tell me what you need me to do.”

  “First things first, are you sure your ankle is ok?” Francesca asked for the millionth time in the last month.

  “Oh, my gosh, Franny, it’s been almost five weeks. I’m fine. I did what the doctor said and it was better in a week. It was just a sprain,” I explained. Again.

  “I worry about you,” she said, smoothing my hair on one side. “Are you ok? You look like you’re tired.”

  Boy, was she gonna worry about me when she found out. “I’m fine. I got up too early is all. Now, let’s get this stuff set up before people show up!”

  The thought of not being ready set her off and I was quickly forgotten. We arranged the food they’d picked up, set up chairs, and went to the backyard to make sure everything was set there. Other than the flowers that would be arriving in the morning, everything was good to go. Bree was set to bring the bachelorette party things, so Francesca wouldn’t see them, and she and Ava were going to help me set up near the end of the dinner.

  “What time is it?” Francesca asked, wringing her hands together.

  “We have ten minutes. People will start arriving soon,” I stated at the same moment someone knocked. “And there they are.”

  She grabbed Cade’s hand and hurried toward the door, calling back and asking me to lock Hamlet in her bedroom so he wouldn’t try to get out of the house. I searched for the kitty. The poor little dude was adorable and hated being locked up, but I agreed with Franny. No one needed to be out hunting a curious cat tonight.

  “Hammy,” I called, clicking my tongue. “Here kitty, kitty.”

  “Zander! I’m so glad you’re here. Cade needs some help outside.” I heard Francesca talking to her receptionist, though he wasn’t going to be after a week, and wondered how I’d never met him.

  I continued to look for Hammy, trailing down the hall until I saw him perched on a windowsill. “Hammy!” I exclaimed, grabbing him and scratching under his neck. “You were hiding from me, weren’t you, boy?” I cooed as I stroked his fur. I took him in Francesca’s bedroom, shutting the door behind me before setting him down. He was a sneaky bugger and running wasn’t on my list of things to do for the evening.

  While I had a few moments of privacy, I went to the bathroom to inspect my features. I really was worn down, my face pale and dark circles under my eyes from not resting. I looked thinner, though my clothes didn’t fit as well, and I couldn’t help but think how ironic it was. Pregnant and getting bigger, but looking thinner.

  At least the people at work would believe my weight loss story.

  After realizing I looked like crap, I left the bedroom and went off to find Francesca. Bree and Ally had arrived, both looking adorable in their matching dresses, and I couldn’t help but think of how fun buying baby stuff was going to be. “Hey, ladies!” I squealed, leaning down and holding my arms out for a hug from Ally.

  She was my little buddy, an awesome kid that I could usually pay to do funny things. Such as calling Francesca Franny, which she hated, or asking Cade questions that he stuttered and stumbled over trying to answer. Having a kid was gonna be fun.

  “Auntie Daphne!” she screamed, throwing her tiny body into my arms. She was heavier than she looked, and it worried me, but I managed to keep my balance.

  “Ally!” I said in an excited voice. �
��How pretty do you look? Totally gorgeous, darling.”

  She mocked me, her face growing serious as she fanned her face and stuck her hip out. “You, too, my darling.”

  We giggled like the little girls we were, and I stood, taking her hand. “Hey, Bree!” I greeted, giving her a side hug. “You look beautiful.”

  “So do you, you look tired, but glowy,” she said.

  I felt the blood drain from my face. People said pregnant women had a glow but I didn’t think it came until later. Did she know? How could she? Shit. “I’m excited for this wedding!” I said, hoping my words portrayed the excitement I wanted them to.

  She gave me a weird look, but said nothing. The four of us walked to the kitchen, Ally going straight for the cupcakes, and Bree following to stop her from ruining her dinner.

  “Thank you,” Francesca said. She leaned her head on my shoulder, and I rested mine on hers.

  “For what?”

  “For being my best friend.”

  My emotions were out of control and I couldn’t stop the tears from welling and a few from falling. “Thank you for being mine,” I whispered. The guilt I felt in that moment for not confiding in her was overwhelming and I almost ran from the room in order to bawl my eyes out.

  She pulled away, looking at me closely. “Daphne Waterman, are you crying?”

  Sniffling, I shrugged. “Weddings make people emotional and shit.”

  “Auntie Daphne said a dirty word!” Ally squealed, making all eyes turn to me.

  I bit my lip, not knowing what to say, but everyone in the room laughed. Francesca’s parents were in the living room, talking to who I assumed was Cade’s parents. I saw a man who looked remarkably like him walking through the house and deducted he must be Cason, his brother. He nodded as he passed, his eyes lingering on Bree, though she wasn’t paying attention, and headed outside to help Cade and Zander.

  Glancing out the window, I saw they had their backs to us, so I redirected my attention back to Francesca. Wiping my eyes and drying my face, I smiled brightly. “All better.”

  “I can’t believe you cried.” She stared at me weirdly, like I had three heads or something.

  “What?”

  “You are sick, aren’t you? Please don’t get me sick the night before my wedding!” she pleaded.

  “I’m not sick,” I said louder than intended. “I’m not. It’s not every day my best friend, my sister from another mister, gets married and I got a little emotional. Sue me.”

  She gave me a side glance and shrugged. “Ok, if you say so. I’m going out to get Cade and the boys. Ava and Kylie just pulled up.”

  “I’ll get them,” I offered. I opened the door, stepping onto the porch. “Look who’s here!”

  “Daphne!” Kylie squeaked, staggering as she walked up the stairs. “I got started a little early on the bachelorette drinking,” she giggled.

  Shushing her, I grabbed her to hold her upright. “Oh my God, Kylie! It’s a surprise and we still have to rehearse for the ceremony.”

  Her eyes widened as she swayed. “Oh,” she said, then giggled like a maniac. “Oops.”

  Looking over her shoulder, I saw Ava shrug. “Get her some food,” I demanded. “And don’t let Francesca see her like this. Pretend to be sober,” I instructed.

  She attempted to salute me, but poked herself in the eye instead. “Ow.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at that and led them to the snacking area. I grabbed a few mini sandwiches and thrust them in Ava’s hand. “Take her back out.”

  She nodded, guiding Kylie out, and I turned as the men and Francesca came back in. My heart stopped, and my head spun when I saw him. He was here, my blue eyed musician, standing in Francesca’s kitchen. He smiled and laughed as he joked with Cade’s friend, whose name I couldn’t remember. He was even more attractive in my sober state, and instinctively my hand went to my stomach.

  My baby’s father.

  “Daphne!” Francesca said, still laughing from something one of them said. “Come here.”

  Somehow I was able to walk the five steps to her, my stunned silence probably making her wonder if I was going crazy instead of sick. Looking at her, I blinked several times, trying as I might to get myself out of this trance.

  “Daph?” she said.

  “Yeah,” I murmured.

  “Are you ok?”

  I only nodded.

  “I wanted to introduce you to Zander, finally, and Cade’s other groomsmen.”

  Turning to them, our eyes locked. My world stopped in that moment. He was seeing me for me, no make-up or masks, no alcohol hiding my personality. He was meeting Daphne. And he was Zander. “Ok,” I said, voice still shaky.

  She pointed to the man I thought was Cason and verified his identity. Next was Jay, then Reid, but I’d already met him in passing. Finally, she stopped at Zander, and I moved my hand to reach for his.

  Our eyes connected again, an electrical blur passing between us. Our hands touched and every inch of me melted, remembering his touch. “Hello,” I said.

  “Nice to meet you, Daphne,” he replied. His deep voice was heavenly, strumming my heart like his fingers strummed his guitar. “You look so familiar.”

  “Well, I’m sure we’ve seen each other in passing and not known who the other was,” I replied, praying my voice wasn’t shaking as much as my insides were.

  He nodded, still holding onto my hand. “Probably.”

  I noticed Francesca and Bree staring at the conjoined hands, so I carefully slipped mine out and stepped back. Quivering, from fear or desire I wasn’t sure, I inhaled deeply a few times. Calming myself seemed impossible at this point.

  “So, shall we begin?” Francesca said, glancing at me uncertainly.

  “Oh!” I exclaimed. Nodding, I took her hand and pointed to Cade. “Yes, come on, you too. And the wedding party needs to follow outside, please.”

  Of course, Zander was in the wedding party. No way could I get away from him…not that I wanted to. We all congregated outside, and I was left to direct everyone where to go. Because I was the wedding planner and that was my job, but my mind was frozen in the Zander trance and I couldn’t think properly.

  I paired up the couples that would be leaving the aisle together: me and Cason, Bree and Reid, Kylie and Jay, Ava and Zander. Thank God I didn’t have to attempt to walk down the aisle while touching him. My skin still felt like it was on fire, I couldn’t imagine how difficult that would be.

  “Do you want to tell everyone else to begin eating? Or is there something you want them to do?” I asked Francesca before we went outside.

  “No, it shouldn’t take long. We’re going over where to walk and everything right? Not the whole thing?” she responded.

  “Right.”

  After gathering everyone in front of me, I showed the men where they’d come out and where to go, then showed the ladies the same. Francesca and Cade’s part took the longest, obviously, since they had the most to do. The rest of the party stood off to the side chatting while I showed them what to do, where to stand, and where to enter and exit.

  The whole time, I felt his eyes on me. Burning through me, igniting my deepest feelings and desires. Turning to look at him wasn’t an option right now, his presence alone was making me mad, so I finished my instruction and waited a moment while everyone headed back inside.

  Zander lagged behind, hands in pocket as he apparently waited for me. The father of my unborn baby, the man who affected me like no other, and the sexiest man I’d ever laid eyes on was patiently standing there as I took my time walking back.

  Everything had changed.

  Zander

  She seemed vaguely familiar, yet not. The way she moved was tantalizing, her hips swaying and making my mind wander while her eyes penetrated my soul every time they caught my gaze.

  The gaze I couldn’t seem to break from her.

  After she’d instructed us all on what to do during the ceremony, I waited for her. She walked slowly, purpose
ly, and kept her head down. Was she not interested? I may have just met her, but I knew I needed to know more about her. Her likes and dislikes, how her skin, hair, and lips felt against mine, what made her laugh and smile.

  “Daphne,” I called when she got closer. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Looking up, those green eyes sucked me in and I lost all train of thought. She turned the corner of her mouth up slightly and nodded.

  “I, uh, wanted to ask for your help,” I stuttered. What the hell? Help with what, Zander?

  “Oh?” she said. “What can I do?”

  Think. Think fast, Zander. “The wedding.”

  Turning back, she looked at the altar. “Did you get confused about some of my directions?”

  Shaking my head, I cleared my throat. “It’s more about the honeymoon.”

  Snapping her head back, she raised a brow, such a familiar gesture, but I didn’t know why. “I’m not helping anyone with the honeymoon. I think Franny and Cade can figure that out on their own,” she said with a giggle.

  Her laugh was contagious. “No,” I said, stepping closer. “I want to send them on a honeymoon for two weeks. I was wondering if you would help me get them prepared tomorrow.” She peered up at me and the overwhelming sense of knowing came over me. I stepped yet another few inches toward her. “I’m sorry, but I really feel like we know each other.”

  She bit her lip, a maddening site and I shifted my feet to hide my obvious excitement. “I don’t think we do,” she said unsteadily. “I can help you with the surprise, though. Tell me what you need.”

  Shit, think, think, think. “Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll text you the details later? I’m sure they’re waiting on us to get started.” I pulled out my phone before she could reply, handing it over after opening up a new contact.

  She smirked, but punched in her info, and handed it back. “Francesca’s bachelorette party is tonight, but she doesn’t know. I may reply late.”

  “We’re all going to Cason’s to play pool after this, so I guess Cade is sort of getting a bachelor party,” I told her.