Anxious Hearts

by Felicia Tatum

Me: No, our party just ended. What do you need me to do?

  Zander: I got them open-ended plane tickets. They’re in envelopes, so can you get Francesca hers right before the ceremony? I’ll get Cade his.

  Me: Sure. That’s so kind of you. Do you want to run by Francesca’s in the morning before heading to Cason’s? I’ll meet you outside and get it.

  We were all getting ready at separate locations so the bride and groom didn’t see each other beforehand, a silly tradition I didn’t understand in the least.

  Zander: Sure. I’ll text you in the morning.

  Me: Ok. :)

  Zander: Have a good night, beautiful.

  He’d called me beautiful. Duh, Daphne, he called you more than that the night you had sex with him. It was different now, though. He was meeting the real me, seeing me how I am every day, and he still found me attractive. I didn’t know what it was about Zander, but he drove me mad. His eyes, his lips, his touch. Every spark I felt made me want him more. Was it because I was pregnant with his child? Possibly. I wasn’t sure, though. I’d have to ask Bree about how she felt when she was pregnant. I drifted off to sleep with thoughts of that night in June heavy on my mind.

  The wedding was set for noon on this sunny September day. I woke before Francesca, giving me time to clear my stomach into her toilet without her asking questions. Piling my hair on top of my head, I secured it with a clip and showered quickly. Feeding Hamlet, cleaning up the rest of our mess, and checking on all the outside decorations followed. I was cuddling with the kitty on her couch when Francesca finally stumbled in the room.

  “You let me sleep too long,” she accused.

  “No, I didn’t,” I countered. I knew she was worried about everything I’d already done.

  “I have to feed Hammy, check our stuff, take a shower,” she rambled.

  I interrupted. “It’s all done except your shower. I can’t do that for you,” I said with a grin.

  Her bottom lip quivered as she threw her body on the couch next to me. “I’m getting married today.”

  “To the one and only Cade Kelling.”

  Sniffling, she reached for my hand. “You’ll still be my bestie, right?” she asked, squeezing my fingers tightly.

  “Forever and ever, you and me.”

  We hugged, sniffled, and were overly emotional for a few minutes. When she went to shower, I grabbed my phone to check the chime I’d heard while we talked.

  Zander: I’ll be there right before ten with the package.

  Snickering, I rolled my eyes at his use of package. I really was a child most of the time.

  Me: Ok. I’ll be watching.

  Antsy, I paced back and forth for a few minutes before realizing I was still in my pajamas. The sound of his engine humming rumbled through the air just as I turned to change. Closing my eyes, I tilted my neck back and sighed. What’s the deal? He’s seen you naked.

  Rushing out the door, I shut it softly behind me and hurried down the steps. The air was cool, but not chilly, as I walked quickly to his vehicle. He stepped out, looking ravishing in the low slung jeans and tightly fitted tee, and I stopped to catch my breath.

  “Hey,” he said, giving me a grin that could make any girl melt.

  “Hey,” I replied. Act cool, Daph.

  Rubbing the back of his neck, he peered at me. “Sleep well?”

  Crossing my arms over my chest in hopes he couldn’t tell I was braless, I nodded. “Mmhmm.” Since when was I so awkward around men? And especially one I’d already slept with, whether he knew it or not.

  “Good,” he smiled. “Anywhere, here’s the envelope. It has a note and everything, so give it to her about twenty minutes before the wedding if you don’t mind.”

  Taking it, I looked at him with my brows scrunched. “I thought you were going to come by the room?”

  “Nah, there’s not enough time,” he chuckled. “I’ll catch her at the reception.”

  “Ok,” I said. Lowering my head, I couldn’t contain the goofy grin that spread across my face. “You’re a really nice guy, you know that?”

  Shrugging, he beamed. “So I’ve heard.”

  We laughed for a moment before I bid goodbye and dashed back inside. My heart raced and head spun. Why was he so gorgeous? I slipped the envelope under my shirt, tucking it in my pants so Francesca wouldn’t see it before I placed it in my bag. Circling through the hall, I stopped in my tracks when I saw Francesca standing inside her room in her wedding dress.

  The cap sleeve tulle ball gown was beautiful on her figure, cutting in just the right place and accentuating her curves. The sheer layover from the waist up was detailed in the most amazing beading, making her look like a princess. In lieu of a veil, she chose a tiara and it sparkled in her hand.

  Gasping, I covered my mouth with my hand. Seeing it on her in the store was one thing, but here in the house, on her wedding day, was something different. Turning, she stared at me with glistening eyes and smiled meekly.

  “Do I look fat?” she asked.

  Screaming, I shook my head furiously. “Oh, my gosh, Francesca, you look like a damn princess! And you know it. Don’t even start on your insecurities. This is your wedding day and you are gorgeous. Own it.” Stopping in front of her, I tucked a strand behind her ear. “I’m so happy for you.” Fighting back the tears was difficult, and I felt a wave of nausea course through me, so I knew I needed to get out of here. “I’m going to go get somewhat dressed. You need to take that off until we get our hair done and stuff. Mia should be here in about ten minutes,” I instructed, fighting the urge to vomit all over her. “And wear something that buttons!” I called as I rushed from the room.

  Barely making it to her spare bathroom, I dropped to my knees just in time to not spew all over the floor. How my stomach still held something to come out, I didn’t know, but I would be so glad when this stopped. I prayed I made it through the ceremony without any sickness.

  Zander

  Daphne was driving me insane. She’d replaced Lucy in my thoughts, consuming them to a point I’d convinced myself I had to have her and soon. What was wrong with me?

  After arriving at Cason’s, we sat around eating eggs and playing more Call of Duty before finally putting on our tuxes thirty minutes before it was time to leave for Francesca’s house. Cade was nervous, it was obvious, because he kept shaking his knee and not paying attention to any of us when we spoke to him. Reid finally pulled him aside, speaking low and apparently saying the right words, because Cade chilled and we were able to head to the ceremony.

  Noticing I, too, was shaking my knee, I cursed myself for being nervous over seeing Daphne. She was a beautiful woman, no doubt, but I was being ridiculous. She could be taken for all I knew. I parked my car along the road, leaving room for guests in the driveway, and hurried to get Cade alone for a moment.

  “Cade,” I called from a few feet behind him.

  Turning, he said, “Yeah?”

  I nodded for him to come talk to me, and reached inside my jacket pocket and drew out the envelope. “I wanted to give you your wedding gift now.”

  “What about Francesca? She’ll want to open it,” he chuckled.

  “She has part of it thanks to Daphne,” I told him, handing it over.

  He opened it slowly, his eyes growing wide as he saw what it was and read the instructions. “Two weeks?”

  I nodded.

  “Zander, this is too much,” he started, but I cut him off.

  “No, Cade, it isn’t. Francesca is happier than I’ve ever seen her and you’re a pretty decent guy. I want you two to have the perfect honeymoon. The tickets are open ended and the number there is for a travel agent that can book you anything you need when you pick out where you want to go. She sent some brochures I put in Francesca’s envelope.”

  Shocked, he reached for me and gave me a hug. “Thank you, Zander. This means a lot.”

  Patting him on the back, I pulled back and grinned. “What is it you’re always saying to your girl? Anythin
g for you or something?”

  “Don’t be a dick,” he chuckled, tucking the envelope in his jacket. “Thanks, though, man.”

  “I hope y’all enjoy,” I said sincerely.

  We parted ways, and I headed to stand to the side with the rest of the groomsmen. The ceremony was set to start in a little over twenty minutes and people were beginning to arrive. Still no glimpse of Daphne, which was expected, but I couldn’t wait to see how stunning she was bound to be in her gown.

  Standing at the altar was nerve wrecking. It wasn’t even my wedding, yet my heart was pounding and I was sweaty profusely. Pulling at my neckline, I exhaled and shifted my weight. The music just started, so Daphne would be coming down the aisle soon. Waiting wasn’t my strongest virtue.

  Ava came first, followed by the other bridesmaids, all looking beautiful in their pink one shoulder gowns. Daphne was last, making orange look better than I’d ever seen it. Her hair was pulled back, showing the soft skin of her neck and back. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she strolled down the aisle, her face radiant as she smiled and eventually caught my eye. The blush that crept up her face filled her cheeks, leaving red circles in its wake.

  Everyone stood for Francesca’s entrance, a breathtaking bride to say the least. She simply beamed as she walked toward Cade, and deep down I couldn’t wait to have someone adore me like that. The ceremony went quicker than I thought, leaving half those in attendance in tears. The couple spoke their own vows, voices low so only the party could hear, and while I wasn’t an overly emotional man, I was almost brought to tears.

  Their love for one another was an inspiring thing to witness. So true and pure that it radiated out to everyone around them, a contagious feeling on their day. The wedding party left after they made their way down the aisle, and we made our way to the side for pictures. While I didn’t mind, I got to stare at Daphne, I really was starving and wanted food.

  Francesca and Cade made the rounds, talking and laughing with their guests while the rest of us were free to eat and enjoy ourselves. Piling my plate high, I sat with the rest of the party at the table next to Francesca and Cade’s. The seats were almost full, and Daphne was nowhere in sight. Where could she be?

  “Thank you, Z,” Francesca said from behind me.

  Standing, I turned to grab her in a big hug. “You’re so welcome. You look so beautiful, Francesca.”

  “Z, we can’t thank you enough for your gift. Daphne gave me the envelope and if I hadn’t already had my make-up on, I would have cried my eyes out in happiness. Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked. Her brown eyes were dancing in happiness, her face glowing.

  I nodded. “I’m positive. You two just call the agent and she’ll get you set up. And if you need me to come take care of the cat or anything, I can stop by some.”

  “You’ve done enough, Zander,” Cade said with a grin. “Daphne’s offered to house sit for us since it will be so long, so we’re letting her do that.”

  “Sounds good,” I said, thrilled they’d given me information I may need in the next few days.

  Sensing we were talking about her, Daphne waltzed up, her gown flowing around her making her look like a goddess. “Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Kelling!” Hugging them both, she gave her congratulations before giving me a sly look.

  Her green eyes shone as she looked me over, winking before turning her attention back to the bride. Never before had a wink been so sexy. When the couple left to make more rounds, I took her arm and pulled her to me. “Dance with me?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Sure.” Placing her hand in mine, she allowed me to guide her to the dancing area. Luck was on my side and a slow country song about love began playing.

  Twirling her to me, I put one hand on her back, holding her hand with my other, and pulled her as close as I could get her. The scent of cinnamon was overwhelming, bringing back the memories of the hot night in June. “You smell amazing.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered, dropping her eyes then peering back up at me. “You look amazing.”

  “Well, thanks,” I grinned. Her familiarity had me confused, and I couldn’t stop myself from commenting on it. “You really remind me of someone named Lucy.”

  I felt her muscles tense under my touch and her mouth grew tight. “Really? I don’t know a Lucy.”

  Something pushed me to continue. “I don’t know what it is. Your hair and eyes are different, but everything else is the same. You even sound like her.”

  Her eyes fell and she stopped moving. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

  Why was she acting so strange? Could she be Lucy? “Daphne, what’s wrong?”

  Her mouth pursed and she shook her head. “Nothing. I dunno why you keep talking about this Lucy person when I said I don’t know her.”

  Her actions were strange, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I kissed her. Pulling her to me roughly, I pressed my mouth to hers, prying her lips open with my tongue. She allowed me access, melting into me the same way Lucy did. Daphne was Lucy. Lucy was Daphne.

  Releasing her, I gasped. “You are Lucy!”

  Her mouth trembled, in fear or tears, I didn’t know, seconds before she ran from me. Her hand covered her face and she was gone, weaving through the crowd of people before I could say anymore. I quickly followed, saying excuse me as I bumped and knocked into people. Searching for someone in an area I wasn’t used to wasn’t an easy task, but after a few minutes, I found her in the house, curled up with Hamlet on the couch. “Daphne,” I said. My tone was flat and emotionless.

  “I’m sorry, ok?” she said through tears. Her nose was red and she held a handful of tissues. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

  “Why in the hell did you pretend to be someone else? Was it some sort of turn on for you?” I asked, shaking my head. “It doesn’t even matter if it was, once you saw me again you should have told me the truth!” I shook with anger, so confused about the situation I didn’t even know how to react.

  “You’re right, it doesn’t matter,” she said, her eyes blazing with annoyance. “I said I was sorry, what more do you want?”

  My mouth fell open. “Daphne, we slept together,” I hissed. “And that means nothing to you?” The night had haunted me too much to not have meaning, and to learn it was any different for her would be devastating.

  “It was sex,” she said. The tone of her voice, the darkness in her eyes, and the hardness of her shoulders told me she spoke only words.

  Why wouldn’t she open up to me? “I don’t believe that. I’ve thought of you every single day since we spent the night together. I don’t care what you say. It was memorable and so much more than sex.”

  She shrugged, pissing me off even more, and I clenched my fist.

  Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and stared at her. “Are you not going to talk to me?”

  “I have nothing to say,” she said. Her eyes were red from tears, her face splotchy and snotty, yet she claimed she had nothing to say.

  Huffing out a breath, I shook my head. “And to think I wasted all this time on you.” Turning on my heel, I left her there even when I heard the sobs catching in her throat. Yes, it was only one night, but she’d stirred a feeling in me I hadn’t felt in a long time. Her beauty captured me, as Lucy and as Daphne, and she was rejecting me. The hit was hard, hurting worse than I thought.

  Rejection was like being in a mild car wreck. The initial shock is usually painless and surprising, pissing you off mostly because your car has been injured in some way. Then comes the pain, the aftershock. You ache and hurt in places you didn’t know possible, and you hate the person who hit you, wondering what in the hell they were thinking by not paying attention and causing you harm.

  If only they’d paid attention.

  That’s how I felt in this moment. The initial pain was pissing me off, but it hurt a little, too. She used me then tossed me to the side, like an old rag. Apparently I was nothing to her. I wondered how many men she did this to, using a fake nam
e, fake everything, and then sleeping with them.

  Was she after money? If so, why hadn’t she asked for some or worse, stolen it? The thoughts invaded my mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to entertain them. As angry and hurt as I was, I didn’t think Daphne was that type of person. She was hurt. The pain wasn’t visible, but I saw it in her gaze. The alarming cloud shrouding her feelings came through her eyes. The eyes were the windows to the soul, and hers hurt. The darkness she possessed was overwhelming, so much so that I wondered if she even knew how to deal with it.

  She’d hurt me, crushed me even, and I wanted to help her. Stopping mid-step on my way back to the reception, I turned to go back to her, but was distracted by Ava.

  “Zander, come here,” she called, giving me a seductive grin. “I wanna dance with the man who walked down the aisle with me.”

  She was pretty, yes, and flirting was harmless, but I couldn’t let my irritation lead me to doing something I would regret. Plus, I was sure Francesca would kill me if she found out I slept with half her bridesmaids, so I’d better stick to Daphne only. Or did she count as two, since I’d thought she was Lucy?

  It didn’t matter, I headed toward Ava, distracting myself from the distraught woman in the house. She’d made her bed, invited me to it, lied to me, and now she had to lie in it by herself.

  Daphne

  Becki scribbled some words on her notepad, listening to me as I rambled about Zander and the wedding. He hadn’t left my mind the whole weekend, his face in everything I saw during the day and night. I’d hurt him, which was only possible if he cared.

  Why would he care about me?

  “Daphne?”

  “Hmm?” I said, looking up at Becki.

  “I asked you how you’re feeling with the pregnancy this week,” she smiled. She was always so friendly and kind. I couldn’t help but wonder how she was on a bad day. Did she yell when she was angry? Did she ever feel self-destructive like I did? How did she handle her dark thoughts?