Solace

by Bethany Adams

  Lynia studied the princess, who’d fled her home world of Galare to live on Earth for a few centuries before meeting Ralan. The fae of Galare could only draw energy from places where they were bound. Could Bleyiak have been from that world?

  “Galarens can do that?” Selia asked, alarm lifting her tone.

  Cora shrugged. “In theory, but it’s not something I’ve heard taught. It would still be difficult to shove magic into a planet’s energy field, though. You could perhaps inject something that works its way through the way Kien introduced poison into Earth’s magic. Maybe that’s what the author meant by the hatred being absorbed? But I don’t think infections transmit that way, so I’m not sure it’s relevant. There certainly aren’t plagues on Galare.”

  The speculation on Bleyiak’s origin was fascinating, but it might not ultimately help. Lynia made a mental note of it anyway. One never knew which tidbits could come in handy.

  “Hopefully, more sources will bring clarity,” Lynia said. “I originally found that snippet when researching Kien’s poisoned energy spell. I’d hoped that if Ralan killed his brother quickly, it might prevent further disaster, but I now find the passage an eerie echo of the crack Kien made in Earth’s energy field.”

  “The one Aris and Kezari healed and transmuted,” Selia murmured.

  To fix the wound Kien had made in Earth’s energy—and the wall established in ancient times by the Unseelie and the dragons to hold back the bulk of the planet’s magic—Aris and his allies had converted the breach into a direct portal between Earth and Moranaia that bypassed the Veil. Lynia sighed. There were so many pieces of that situation that could be related, and she didn’t have an accounting of all of it.

  “After we work on the shields, I would love to hear more about that,” Lynia said. “The details may be important. Hopefully, I’ll also have a chance to speak to Fen and Maddy about the illness they experienced.”

  Selia nodded. “I would be happy to help, and I’m sure they would be, too.”

  Though Lynia itched to grab her note-taking book and quiz Selia, she couldn’t do so yet. Instead, she accessed her link with the shielding so she could connect Selia and Cora. Time to work on their physical safety. After all, none of them could stop a plague if they were dead.

  Chapter 14

  Of all the emergencies Lial had been called to address, a shiver had to be among the strangest. In normal times, he would have laughed at the very idea, but now the slightest oddity could be momentous. Prudence had become his greatest companion—maybe his only companion.

  But he wasn’t the only one worried. A frowning Lyr leaned against the edge of his desk, and Kai had already circled the study three times since their conversation had begun. Even Arlyn perched on the edge of her seat, the restless swinging of her crossed leg catching his attention out of the corner of his eye.

  “I do not like the idea of leaving Moranaia while you and Meli undertake a dangerous mission,” Lial said to Lyr. “But I cannot neglect the possibility that this is related to our other crisis.”

  “Do you think it will take that long to examine Naomh?” Lyr asked.

  Lial rubbed a tired hand across his mouth. “No. But when you traveled there to find Kai and Arlyn, two days passed here. I cannot risk that kind of absence.”

  “That’s not typical,” Kai said, halting his restless pacing long enough to interject. “The Veil was a turbulent mess then, and a lot of time was lost both when Meli had to use her runes to find the path and when I had to guide everyone back while keeping Arlyn stable. Time is a little different there, but I can get you back with only a mark or two lost.”

  “Hmm.” Lial considered his options. Risk testing the containment zone established near the portal here on Moranaia—with possibly disastrous results—or lose a few marks of time while an assassin was on the loose? Neither choice was good, but in the end, the latter won out. “It would probably be safest to go there. When will you and Meli act?”

  “Likely at some point before dawn when all is quiet,” Lyr replied. “She’s talking to Kezari right now, so that might change. But night seems a better time than day, when more of the estate is up and about.”

  Lial glanced at the water clock. It wasn’t much past the thirteenth mark, which left a solid seventeen before the dawn. “Let’s go, Kai. We should be back in time for the mission.”

  “Wait,” Arlyn said, shooting to her feet and drawing all eyes her way. “Won’t that risk Kai getting infected? Will he have to be quarantined?”

  Kai muttered a sharp oath, and Lial’s brows drew down as he considered the problem. “I can’t cure this infection yet, but I can detect it. I can ensure he doesn’t bring illness back.”

  “Which won’t help him or me if you can’t heal him,” Arlyn argued.

  “It should be safe enough if he remains beside the gate and away from others,” Lial said. “But you are correct. There are no guarantees. Having a soulbonded, much less a pregnant one, makes him a poor choice for this task.”

  Straightening, Lyr shoved himself away from his desk. “Kai, do any other sonal know the way?”

  Kai lifted a shoulder. “Not that I’m aware of, and it would take a long time to ask around. Maybe Caolte could bring you through. He’s desperate enough to leave Naomh for a brief time.”

  “And if he’s infected?” Lial asked.

  This time, it was Lyr who cursed.

  “Hey, could you stay inside the Veil and sort of push Lial through?” Arlyn gave a quick grin. “I mean, we’ve all wanted to push Lial a time or two, so here’s your chance.”

  Despite the situation, the comment startled a laugh out of Lial. He knew better than anyone how his moods came across—after all, no small bit of it was intentional. And he obviously did a good job, based on Arlyn’s widened eyes and Kai’s considering frown. They must not have expected him to take her jest with good humor.

  Only Lyr wasn’t fooled, his lips twitching with a suppressed smile.

  “A good idea, if harmful to my ego,” Lial said. “Then, after I see who is infected there, we can arrange for my return.”

  Lyr sobered. “And if you catch this illness?”

  “It is unlikely anyone will if Caolte hasn’t despite their close contact, but I have no bonded or wife to miss me if I must isolate there.” Would Lynia—No. Not something Lial wanted to think about. “While it will take some time to find my replacement at Braelyn, Ralan could order someone over from the palace in an emergency. I will be cautious, however.”

  “Caolte would be the first to show signs, and he appeared to be in good health,” Kai said, his expression clearing. “So you’re probably right. Send a bit of warning when you’re done, and I can be there to grab you when you step through.”

  “So long as you’re certain to be careful, then it’s settled,” Lyr said, gesturing toward the door. “Go find out if Naomh is indeed ill while we work on our plans here.”

  Lial almost said he would stop by the library to tell Lynia, but he hesitated. What would be the point? She might go looking for him since they were working together on the research, but Lyr would tell her what had happened if she did. He wouldn’t have any new information to give her until his return, in any case. The way she’d fled the healing tower earlier suggested she’d had enough of his presence for the day. Or the decade.

  “If your mother asks, tell her where I’ve gone.” At Lyr’s nod, Lial turned toward the door. “I’ll grab my bag from the tower and give Elan and Maddy a few instructions. Then we can go.”

  As he and Kai headed toward the healing tower, Lial tried not to worry that leaving was a mistake. Most of the warriors had settled into a solid routine now that the surprise of the ice storm had faded, but there could still be injuries. And that wasn’t counting the menace of the lurking assassin. So much could go wrong, and he wouldn’t be here to help.

  A hint of panic tightened his throat, but Lial breathed through his nose until it faded. Mostly. This was the right thing to do. Stopping
a plague was the best thing he could do to protect those he cared for, and he would just have to hope that none of the other possibilities occurred.

  He could only do his best.

  It was only a couple of marks until sunset by the time Lynia had a moment to herself again. Selia and Cora had completed their changes to both the inner and outer estate shielding, and then afterward, they’d stayed to give her more details about Earth’s energy poisoning. Lynia might have invited them to stay longer, but she’d drained her energy reserves writing down the pertinent details with her magic.

  Truthfully, she hadn’t used her power this much in centuries, especially not after missing a night’s sleep. Her muscles were stiff with exhaustion, and her thoughts muddled together in a blur. But despite how much she needed a nap, she refused to leave the library. She needed to know the moment Caraden had those books available.

  She could only hope Caraden hadn’t lied about acting in haste. Lynia wouldn’t have worried about that before their earlier conversation, but now she didn’t know what to think. She hadn’t expected such a casual, thoughtless rejection, either. Perhaps professionalism and ambition would motivate Caraden where their former friendship had not.

  And it was former, whether Caraden realized that or not. It might have been carelessness on the woman’s part—but Lynia deserved better. She would hardly beg to remain where she wasn’t wanted. Though it stung, the pain of knowing the truth was better than the hurt of fake companionship.

  Some days, she found research far preferable to people.

  While she waited, Lynia flipped through her notes, stopping on the list of supplies Bleyiak had ordered for Abuiarn. Much of it was innocuous, even the herbs, and yet… She listed the five herbs on a separate piece of paper and pulled over the stack of healing books she hadn’t yet read. Unfortunately, a quick search though those texts revealed little of use. These were more technical and magic-based books, eschewing potions and herb work.

  Grabbing her list, Lynia climbed the stairs to the fourth level where many of the books on healing were catalogued. She trailed her fingers along the smooth railing as she circled to the other side, beyond the shelf holding the tomes she’d already studied. She was almost above the door to the tower by the time she reached the section on herbs.

  She began with general knowledge books, gathering two before moving on to herbs used for healing. She took two more on the basics of that, one intermediate source, and an advanced tome that might need to wait for Lial if the first texts proved insufficient at explaining the complexities. This hunch might prove pointless, as often happened during research, but she had little else to study until Caraden provided more useful resources.

  Her back muscles twinged when she hefted the stack, but she ignored the discomfort as she started toward the steps. She’d come to accept that she would always have such aches and pains. It didn’t bother her beyond the moment. If it was the cost of being alive, she would willingly pay it again and again.

  An interesting change, that. For years after Telien’s death, she’d wavered often in her desire to carry on. But despite missing her soulbonded, Lynia found she wanted to live. She wanted to see her first great-grandchild and any children Lyr and Meli might have. She wanted to enjoy being with her family as it grew, and if she were lucky, she might even—

  Lynia halted at the top of the stairs as the weight of her idle thought hit.

  She might even find out if she could have more children of her own.

  When had that long-vanquished hope begun to resurface? Pondering, Lynia descended the stairs. She’d told Maddy that her trouble conceiving might have been Telien’s fault, but she wasn’t certain. The healer before Lial hadn’t found anything wrong with either of them, and she’d never thought to ask Lial for a second opinion. She’d convinced herself to be happy with one child centuries ago. So why the thought now?

  Lynia had a suspicion as to the cause—and he had dark red hair and a mercurial disposition.

  No, no, no.

  She tried to concentrate on each step down rather than the mad fantasy that had wormed its way into her mind, but it was a wasted effort. Maybe it was her exhaustion letting the treacherous temptation slip through. Hadn’t she already resolved that they wouldn’t suit? There was too much about his life he wouldn’t share and too much of hers she might never get over. He was planning to relocate, for Arneen’s sake.

  Of course, this madness could be partially his fault. Perhaps his wicked words had crept into her thoughts. If you were mine… If you wanted children, I have no doubt I could give them to you. Lynia shivered at the memory of those gruff words, and she could no longer deny the heat that suffused her body each time she remembered them.

  Dear gods, she was in trouble.

  Lynia lowered the books to the table she’d claimed for her research, but instead of getting to work, she stared blankly at the stack as her heart raced. She desired Lial. Her response to their kiss hadn’t been an anomaly, but she hadn’t wanted to admit it. Not even earlier, when the brush of his energy in his workroom had burned through her like flame. How long had she felt this way without acknowledging it? How long had she been covering it up with irritation and arguments?

  Surely not while Telien was alive. Gods. That would be—

  “Are you okay?”

  Her gaze shot to the door where Arlyn stood, her brow creased in concern, and a different kind of heat crept up Lynia’s neck. “Yes. Yes, of course.”

  “Really?” Arlyn asked as she closed the door and ambled over. “Because you look flushed.”

  Lynia dropped into her seat and started sorting books, careful not to meet her granddaughter’s eyes until her cheeks had cooled somewhat. “I was startled.”

  “Hmm.” Arlyn pulled out the chair on the other side of the table and sat. “But what about before I spoke? Because you looked like you were either going to faint or vomit.”

  Clechtan, but Arlyn was too perceptive. “Maybe I was.”

  “Lial, right?”

  Lynia groaned. “The entire estate must be laughing about this.”

  Arlyn leaned forward. “Not really. I mean, sure, it’s a little amusing to poke fun at Lial in particular, but we want you both to be happy regardless of how you end up.”

  Understandable, as Lynia herself had been delighted to watch the others pair up. She’d even given advice here or there. Peering at her granddaughter, she rubbed her finger against a slight gouge in the smooth tabletop, a comforting habit after days in this spot. Did she dare confess her latest thoughts, or would Arlyn find that too awkward? They had grown to be friends over the last few months, but there were some things family didn’t want to know.

  “Spill it,” Arlyn said. Then winced. “By which I mean, go ahead and say what you’re thinking. I won’t be offended.”

  Lynia’s lips tilted upward at the thought of how transparent she must be. “I realized the depth of my attraction to Lial, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “I…” Arlyn’s nose wrinkled. “I’m going to pretend you’re not my grandmother for a moment when I say this. Sorry. So. Why don’t you just sleep with him? Unless you actually do feel like throwing up at the thought, but that doesn’t sound like the case.”

  An excellent question with a sadly clear answer. “I’ve already rejected him, and he deserves better than my indecision.”

  “Are you going to remain celibate for however many millennia you’ll live?”

  Lynia shuddered. “I hope not.”

  “So you’re not upset about the desire so much as…what?” Arlyn asked.

  “I don’t know how long I’ve felt it,” Lynia answered in a rush, a hint of guilt surging through her. “Almost certainly since my injury, though I buried it under annoyance. But what if it was there while Telien was alive? Maybe I have been disloyal without realizing. In a worse way. So much worse.”

  “Well, damn,” Arlyn said, her emerald green eyes taking on the serious look her father’s sometimes hel
d. “That’s heavy. I doubt you were lusting after Lial then, though. You probably noticed he was attractive like anyone with a pulse would, but I don’t think you’d have waited twenty years to act on it if you’d felt that way even with your soulbonded alive.”

  Lynia slumped against the back of her seat. “Maybe.”

  “There’s a saying where I’m from. Don’t borrow trouble.” Arlyn propped her elbow on the table and settled her chin against her hand. “In this case, I’d say don’t go hunting for it retroactively, either.”

  Surprisingly, Lynia found herself chuckling. “A good point.”

  Arlyn grinned. “I thought so.”

  Her granddaughter’s words had given her much to consider, but she was too tired to sort out such complicated emotions now. Instead, she straightened in her seat and resolved to return to her task, creating lists of herb uses—boring and requiring no thought.

  “What brought you to the library, anyway?” Lynia slid her notebook closer. “Surely it wasn’t my abysmal ineptness with relationships.”

  “I thought I would see if I could help with anything. I need something to occupy my time while Kai’s gone on this mission.”

  Mission? That was unusual. “Where is Kai?”

  Arlyn’s brows drew down. “Didn’t Onaial tell you?”

  “Your father hasn’t said anything to me,” Lynia answered, her alarm growing. “Did something happen?”

  “Ah. Not exactly.” Arlyn dropped her arm and leaned back. “Kai took Lial to check on Naomh. But you were there when he learned about that.”

  It shouldn’t have hurt, for as Lynia had acknowledged to herself more than once, she had no right to expect anything from Lial besides his help with research. He didn’t have to tell her where he went or when, and he hadn’t ever done so. But it did hurt—far too much.