Solace

by Bethany Adams

  He studied her expression, full of an anger he didn’t understand. Was she upset about the potion or not? “You know I will always think of you. Leaving won’t change that.”

  Lynia closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Then she surprised him by crossing the distance separating them, her furious steps sharp on the stone. She stopped so close he could make out the darker blue ring around her irises. Her hand darting up, she poked him hard in the chest.

  “You’re an idiot.”

  He frowned. “What?”

  “I can’t imagine why else you would make a fertility potion for the woman you profess to love and then send it with a note telling her to sleep with someone else. Did you really believe I would just shrug my shoulders and go find some random man in the mood to be a father? As though—”

  “Lyni.” He curled his hand around hers and pulled it against his chest to stop her from jabbing him again. “You said you might never be ready for a relationship, and I understand that. I wanted to give you something with no obligation.”

  “Which I appreciate. But after last night,” she whispered. “The way you held me…”

  His grip tightened slightly around her fingers. “What about it?”

  “You can’t leave.” Lynia framed his cheek with her free hand. “After all of this, I couldn’t bear for you to leave. I don’t know how you could still intend to.”

  For several heartbeats, Lial couldn’t think of a thing to say. Nothing. He could only stare into her eyes, searching the depths for the meaning behind her words. But there was too much there, and no small amount of it was more than he dared hope for.

  “Kiss me,” she murmured.

  His heart pounded hard in his chest. “Lyni?”

  With a frustrated growl, she rose on her tiptoes slightly and brushed her mouth against his. “Idiot.”

  “Ah, clechtan.”

  Years of control snapped in a single moment. He wrapped his other arm around her waist and tugged her against him, trapping their joined hands between them. Then he crushed her mouth beneath his. He nipped and savored, caressed and devoured. All of his frustrated desires found their way into that kiss.

  I’ll scare her. She’ll leave.

  Instead, she jerked her hand free and wrapped her arms around his neck until her body was molded to his. Lial groaned, bringing her hips tight against his without conscious command. There would be no doubt how much he wanted her.

  Gods, he wanted to be inside her. Joined, though not just in body. Something he couldn’t have. She might want him now, but she’d given no indication of anything else. And he should be happy to be with her in any way he could.

  He wasn’t.

  Lial pulled his lips from hers. “Lyni… You’re not thinking.”

  Annoyance flickered through her eyes. “Not a goal at the moment.”

  “Goal?” An uncomfortable worry flitted through his mind, refusing to be stifled. “Did you drink the potion?”

  With a sudden glare, Lynia shoved herself away. “I wouldn’t do that without talking to you first. Honestly, Lial. I’m not going to try to get pregnant when there might be a plague and especially not without the potential father’s consent. By Arneen, I could just…”

  She made an angry sound low in her throat and spun away, marching toward the closed-off staircase. Hurrying away from him.

  Gods, she was right.

  He was an idiot.

  Her body burned with desire and anger, and for the life of her, Lynia couldn’t decide if she wanted to kill Lial or shove him onto the bed—or the floor—and make love to him. He. Was. Maddening. Did he really think she would trap a man into fathering her child without his knowledge? Accidents were one thing, but fertility potions were hardly that.

  His fingers wrapped around her wrist, forcing her to a halt, and the fire in her body leapt in treacherous response. Unfortunately, so did her fury. Lynia let him draw her around to face him, but not even the contrition on his face cooled her ire.

  “I should have known better,” he said.

  “Yes.”

  “In truth, I can’t imagine why…” A sharp breath whistled through his nose. “Why you want to be with me now. What changed?”

  “I don’t know,” Lynia answered honestly. “It just happened. I suppose I finally stopped fighting myself.”

  Lial averted his eyes. “I’m uncertain I can handle a mere night with you.”

  So that was it.

  Her temper eased at the soft confession. He thought this was a whim—and in a way, it was. She wanted to see what it was like to be held by him. Loved by him. But she suspected it wouldn’t be for one night alone, even if she didn’t know for certain what she hoped for beyond it. Did she have to?

  “I have no intention of using you.” Lynia shifted until she caught his gaze again. “Truly. No, I’m not ready to commit, but I’m no longer denying the possibility of that happening. I want to find out what we can be together. Without promises or pressure or histories. Only us, discovering.”

  Lial frowned. “I am not a casual man, Lyni. With anything.”

  She nearly snorted at that understatement.

  “Exploration is serious. Relationships are formed, not forced,” Lynia said. This time, she was the one who gripped his wrist. “That’s all I mean. I won’t be with another until we decide where this goes.”

  Finally, a wry smile curved his lips. “You mean you’re not willing to swear lifelong fidelity before we have sex?”

  “Absolutely not.” Lynia quirked her brows. “For all I know, you’re terrible at it.”

  “Perhaps.” He pulled her against him with a growl. “Though a healer does learn every part of a woman’s body.”

  Gods of Arneen.

  Lynia shoved against his chest, walking him backward until they reached the tangled mess of his bed. Well, it was about to get more disordered. She’d had enough of denying her attraction. She was ready to take.

  He fell back on the bed, and she landed atop him with a soft oof. Certain of her actions now, Lynia tugged the band from his hair and fanned the flames of it across the sheets. Gods, she’d longed to pull that knot free so many times, but she hadn’t let herself think about it. Now she could bury her hands in the mass while she devoured his mouth.

  Lial tugged at the fabric of her dress, and she shifted absently, letting him draw it up her body as she kicked off her shoes. She certainly wasn’t cold now. She could walk outside in the nude, and the ice would melt beneath her feet. Less fabric was a good thing. She sighed in relief when he tossed the dress away.

  Abruptly, he flipped them over, rising above her in the soft glow of the mage lights. Lynia tried to draw his mouth back to hers, but he trailed his lips along her throat instead. Her breath hitched as he found each tender pulse point with unerring accuracy. Then his hand slid up her waist and closed around her breast, making her moan.

  It didn’t take long to realize that he hadn’t been joking. He found her every sensitive spot and savored it. No caress wasted. His fingers slid unerringly to each crest and hollow of her body that gave pleasure, his mouth following behind, until she could barely remember her own name.

  Tears gathered in her eyes at the focused reverence he showed her. If she hadn’t known how he felt before, she would have now. And her body cried out for him.

  Only him.

  Frenzied, she pulled his tunic off, so quickly it almost tangled in his hair. With a huff of laughter, he helped her, then leaned back to shed his pants by himself. In haste, thank the gods. She sat up and slid her hands up the firm plane of his chest and down the defined muscles of his arms, formed not by fighting but by saving.

  Unable to resist, she kissed a path across Lial’s warm skin and trailed her fingers teasingly down his stomach until she could wrap her hand around the hard length of him. With a groan, he pushed her gently back to the bed and levered himself up on his elbows.

  “You strain my control,” he said, voice tight.

  Sh
e smiled. “Good.”

  Lynia wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him to her, no clearer invitation than that.

  Which of course meant the stubborn man had to pause.

  He braced himself above her with one hand, the other sliding along her hip and around to her spine. Lynia frowned in confusion until the beautiful flow of his magic loosened the tension in the muscles beneath his hand. Gods, he couldn’t even make love to her without worrying about her back.

  Instead of the usual annoyance, a giddy warmth gathered in her chest. She reached for him, her fingers tangling in his hair as she brought his mouth down to hers for another kiss. And as his tongue danced with hers, Lial entered her in one sure stroke. She cried out, her back bowing. Perfect. How did he manage to find the exact—

  Then he started to move, and she gave up on thinking at all.

  Chapter 25

  Apparently, Lial had been wrong about the type of memories he would form with Lynia this day, though only time would tell if they would always bring joy or fade to bittersweet heartache. He gathered Lynia closer to his side and resolved to let the future figure that out for itself. For now, he could savor the feel of her soft skin against his and the way her pale hair tangled around his arm. He could close his eyes and let his heartbeat drift with hers as she slept.

  Truly not an outcome he’d expected from the gift of a potion—one that hadn’t even been used.

  Not that he’d dared to imagine, outside of dreams, that he could be with her like this. He still couldn’t quite fathom it. What had she said? That it had just happened? That she’d stopped fighting? There was comfort in knowing the attraction hadn’t been as one-sided as he’d believed, but she’d made it clear that this was curiosity, not automatic commitment.

  And he would give her everything.

  She was right, though. The best relationships were formed rather than forced. Not even soulbonds always worked out, and not only because of death. Aris was proof enough of that. The man’s potential soulbonded had held him captive and tortured him for years trying to coerce him into a bond. No soul link could ever cancel out such a vile betrayal.

  In Lial’s case, it was better to follow Lynia’s lead. She’d had far less time to recover from Telien’s death than Lial had had for Aralee’s, and even after more than fourteen hundred years, he still felt the ache of it. Lynia deserved to process her loss at her own pace. If he tried to hold her too tightly, he would lose her, too.

  Then he would truly be alone.

  “What’s wrong?” Lynia mumbled against his chest.

  “Nothing.”

  She huffed. “Then why have you gone tense?”

  Clechtan. She was right—his hold on her had tightened. Lial sighed and admitted the truth. “I told myself to savor the moment and then talked myself around to worrying.”

  Lynia wriggled around until she was draped more fully across his chest, her chin propped on her forearm as she stared at him. “I’m afraid I’ve been careless with you. I suppose you might regret—”

  “No.” He stroked his hand down her hair where it flowed across her back. “I would never regret this. You may purge that fear from your thoughts.”

  “Yet you’re concerned I’ll hurt you,” she said, frowning.

  Lial tugged gently at her hair. “I am not, for my pain would not be your fault. You’ve made your expectations clear. My emotions are my own to handle appropriately.”

  She tapped her finger against his chin. “Stubborn man. You know what I mean.”

  He studied her for a moment, trying to put his feelings into words without making a mess of it. “Don’t we all fear hurt? Yes, that’s part of my worry. But we both know that happiness isn’t a guaranteed eternal. I think that was at the heart of my musings. Of course, I was also considering how sound your reasoning is on the forming of relationships. I do plan to enjoy our exploration once I accept my good fortune. I’m not accustomed to such blessings, so you’ll have to give me time to adapt.”

  Lynia smiled, and the lightness of her expression stole his breath. He hadn’t seen her look so carefree in more years than he could count. If he could, he would ensure her life was always filled with such moments.

  “That’s good,” she said. “But before I go exploring again, I need food. It has to be nearly dinner.”

  He glanced at the water clock on the wall near the bed. “So it is. We can request food here.”

  Her smile widened. “Afraid to face the family?”

  “Your family will be insufferable,” Lial grumbled, though in truth, he’d long thought of them as his family, too. “And that’s not counting our guests. Gods help us if Fen is back. Maddy will be bad enough.”

  Lynia sat up, running her hand down his chest in a teasing stroke before springing to her feet. “You can glare them all into submission. Come on. I want to gather a change of clothes and a few other things if we’re returning here after dinner. I imagine you’ll need to stay close to Caeleth tonight.”

  It took him a moment to get moving, and not just because of her tormenting caress. She wanted to sleep here? With him? Lial scrubbed his hand across his face and forced himself from the bed before she caught sight of his chagrin. Of course, she meant with him. Gods, his brain was a muddled mess.

  They were going to slay him at dinner.

  After he’d picked his way along the icy trails for nearly a mark, Aris had believed he’d conquered the anxiety sparked by the sight of the mage’s surgery. He’d been wrong. Unfortunately, he hadn’t realized that until they’d begun their mission. Now with each wingbeat Kezari took through the frigid air, his muscles grew more tense, and his heartbeat increased its pace. Had it been too much to hope that his mind was healed enough to resume normal duties? He’d completed a difficult mission on Earth, by the gods. Why would searching for Korel throw him into such a state?

  Maybe he could never be repaired.

  “You are not broken, skizik,” Kezari said softly into his mind.

  “Easy for you to say.”

  “Yes,” she agreed. “We’re connected. Very easy.”

  Aris rolled his eyes at the back of her neck, the scales flashing gold in the light of the rising moon. “Then why am I so near to losing control?”

  She hesitated. “I cannot say.”

  “Naturally.”

  “No. I cannot.” Kezari banked to the right. She’d almost reached the next area of their search, and then there would be no time to ask. Fortunately, she continued without prompting. “There’s something odd surrounding your magic, but I can’t access your power myself. I notice you are more upset after you’ve used it.”

  His heart slammed against his ribs. Was there an anomaly in his magic? Some poison he’d picked up from when he’d helped on Earth? Quickly, he pulled his power forth, letting it flow through him. Millions of insects sprang to life in his mind, followed at once by every conceivable mammal and reptile within a few marks’ flight of the area. He muted that information at once, shifting his focus to his own body.

  He found nothing amiss.

  “I didn’t say you, skizik,” Kezari muttered wryly. “It felt more like…a sense? Like a daeri you can’t quite smell. But you get a hint. A suggestion on the wind.”

  Great gods. Was she ever not hungry?

  Kezari huffed. “That was not the reason for the image.”

  Before he could respond, they reached the spot Inona had chosen to search next. She and Delbin had traveled through the local portal to meet Lord Morenial at Oria after scouring Braelyn’s grounds with Fen. But since Fen was a stranger to their world, Lyr had not allowed him to join the search around Oria. A relief, to be honest. Aris liked Fen well enough, but he would have been one more person to keep an eye on as they tracked through the wilderness.

  Aris flexed his power once more, narrowing his focus to larger mammals before his sight became overwhelmed. Almost at once, he found Inona, Delbin, and Koranel, along with three others he couldn’t identify.

 
“Are the people with you friends?” he sent to Delbin, the only one save Ralan with strong enough telepathy to reach him in the air.

  “Yes. Lord Morenial and two of his scouts. We’re sweeping to the southeast. Give us a direction if you sense something.”

  Aris made note of the unique essences of the other three so he wouldn’t mistake them for enemies. Then he swept his senses outward, searching for someone who didn’t belong. Their attacker might have a cloak to hide their energy signature from detection, but it wouldn’t deter a life mage. Aris might not know who he’d found, but he could sense the presence of someone living. The others need only check to see who it was.

  An exacting process. Find people in the woods, direct Delbin to the location, and wait to see if they discovered the intruder. Kezari had to circle back twice since the others couldn’t walk as quickly as she could fly. Five times, Aris sensed people below—a handful traveling between estates or visiting friends in another section of the woods, and one small group in an open camp. All visible, and none of them Korel.

  Suddenly, Aris’s hands started to shake, and he gripped the pommel of the small saddle keeping him steady. A wave of dizziness hit, forcing him to tighten his hold further. Kezari cast a concerned glance back at him, and her wingbeats slowed.

  “Skizik?” she asked.

  He closed his eyes and fought against a surge of nausea. Sharp fear coated his tongue, his very mind threatening to revolt from the all-too-familiar flavor. Why? Why? There was nothing here that should bring back the past. If his magic was trying to tell him something, then what?

  A flicker of life filled his senses. “South,” he whispered aloud.

  Kezari seemed to hear him, her path shifting more south than east. Something was…wrong there. Aris squeezed his eyes together tightly and did his best to fight down his body’s response long enough to focus. A person, he thought, their essence odd enough to give him pause. Could it be the cloak? He sent what information he could to Delbin before slumping forward to rest his cheek against the base of Kezari’s neck.