First and Only: Callaghan Brothers, Book 2

by Zanders, Abbie

  She was alone. Had been for a very long time. She preferred it that way, actually. Except for Aidan. Aidan knew all of her secrets (well, most of them, anyway) and kept the monsters at bay. If he was here now, he would be the first one to tell her that she was in over her head.

  Which was yet another reason why she should be getting the hell out of Dodge and not looking back.

  “We’re heading back up tomorrow,” Jack was saying, avoiding the sudden look of surprise Lexi shot him. “Johnny’s going to come take a look.”

  “Who’s Johnny?” Lexi asked, not quite sure she wanted to know.

  “Our cousin,” Kieran explained. “He owns a huge construction business across the way in Birch Falls. Does mainly big stuff, but he’s into restorations and renovations now, too. There’s nobody better.”

  “I really don’t think –“

  “Calm down, lass,” Jack soothed. “Johnny can give us a good idea of what’s what, and you’ll need that, no matter what you decide to do.”

  He was right, of course, and she would have realized that herself if she wasn’t riding such an emotional roller coaster. She needed to get a grip. Thanks to her father, she was the current owner of the place, whether she wanted to be or not. It would be smart to have it appraised in its current condition. Even if she wasn’t going to keep it, she should have an idea of its worth.

  She nodded. It was the responsible thing to do. And she’d be lying if she said some part of her didn’t want to go up there again, at least once more.

  Things only got worse when they stopped back at the Pub after dinner. Jake, it seemed, had spread the word to the others, and they all wanted to help. By the end of the evening she’d grown tired of trying to rein them in; they weren’t really listening to her anyway. Eventually she’d given up, sitting quietly off to the side, nursing her clear soda, until Kieran finally noticed her eyes drifting shut and took pity on her.

  Back in her hotel room, Lexi flopped down on the bed, her head still spinning as she tried to process it all. So much was happening so fast; she felt like she was being swept away in a current of events over which she had very little control. She was running on empty and she knew it. Before long, the past two days finally took their toll on her and she dozed off.

  She wasn’t overly surprised when she woke up to find Ian sitting at the small table in her room, watching her as she slept. Somehow, even in sleep, she had sensed his presence. Of course, that might have just been because she’d been dreaming of him. Again. Except in this dream, Ian had been making love to her when Kayla suddenly appeared, laughing hysterically and leading Ian away from her by a collar while Lexi tried desperately to hold onto him.

  She didn’t need a psych degree to figure that one out.

  She glanced at the clock, noting that it was just after midnight. Ian must have come straight from the bar after it closed.

  “Do you make a habit of breaking into people’s rooms?” she asked sleepily, forcing herself to sit up and pin him with as fierce a glare as she could muster. Damn, he looked good, even in the middle of the night, even with the sound of Kayla’s cackle echoing in her head.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ian studied her carefully. He’d been watching her sleep, intrigued by her dreams. At first it was erotic as hell – she was tossing under the sheet, uttering those soft little sighs and moans he now associated with very specific areas of her body. But then something changed. Her whispered cries grew anguished, her expression pained, her hands clawing in some nightmarish struggle as she murmured his name.

  He was on the verge of waking her, the need to protect her – even in her dreams – strong in him. But she’d awoken on her own, and the look in her eyes when she spotted him tore at his heart. Whatever she’d been dreaming, it had shaken her. Hoping she might confide in him, or at the very least take some comfort from him, he waited silently.

  “Well?” she demanded. “Do you?”

  She was not going to share her dream with him. He wouldn’t push. This time. If it happened again, all bets were off.

  “I’m afraid that’s classified information,” he said, opting for an attempt to lighten the mood. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

  For one very brief moment, he thought he saw her lips quirk, but it was gone before it had a chance to take hold. “Ian, why are you here?”

  “I was worried about you.”

  “Don’t be. I’m a big girl.”

  “You didn’t have a problem with Kieran looking out for you.”

  “Kieran is my friend.”

  “Maybe I want to be your friend too, Lexi.”

  Lexi snorted, padding to the bathroom and closing the door behind her. With each step she seemed to recover a little, and Ian forced himself not to stalk across the room and pull her into his arms. He would refrain for as long as he could, allowing her to regain her footing. He was still learning about her, and he had a feeling there was a lot to learn. It would be worth it, though. That, he knew.

  In the meantime, he appreciated the view greatly, the curve of her lovely behind hidden beneath the hem of her plain white cotton V-neck T, the one that nearly went down to her knees.

  With a start, he realized the shirt looked familiar. It was his. He must have left it here that first night in his mad scramble to get to the viewing. The corners of his mouth curved upward. She was wearing his shirt?

  Ian felt like thumping his chest. Then again, something about Lexi called to the primal male in him more than most. Around her he felt more protective, more possessive, more aggressive than usual.

  His eyes remained riveted on the bathroom door. Had she always been this damn enchanting? Her sleep-tussled hair. The sexy, drowsy look. That lush, curvy body that had him hardening painfully, making his mouth water, and his hands itch to touch her. Oh yeah. He wouldn’t mind waking up next to that. Which, frankly, scared the hell out of him. But he was trained to ignore fear and go in anyway.

  Ian heard the toilet flush and the shower go on. Torturous vixen. She was doing it just to drive him crazy with the thought of her under the hot spray, naked and wet. He clenched and unclenched his fists, promising himself he would behave. Frankly, he was surprised she hadn’t kicked his ass out right away. He was grateful for it, but surprised. Most women would have been much less receptive and a lot more hostile, given the circumstances.

  He sighed. Lexi might be out of his sight, but her intoxicating scent still filled the room. It made him restless. He needed a distraction until she tired of punishing him.

  Ian looked around, the corners of his mouth twitching. He’d just have to find something else to occupy his time. A little recon, perhaps.

  “So who’s Aidan?” he asked innocently when she emerged from the bathroom a full thirty minutes later. He was propped up on her bed, legs extended in front, her notebook laptop open on his lap, which was a good way to hide what had become a natural state for him in her presence.

  Steam billowed out into the room. Her hair was wrapped atop her head turban-style; another towel was wrapped around her body, hiding the more delicious parts. That was probably a good thing. If they were as flushed and pink as the skin she was showing, he would be hard pressed not to lick and kiss every inch before it cooled.

  The expression on her face was unreadable when she realized he was still there. Obviously she knew nothing about the infinite patience of SEALs and how long they would wait to accomplish an objective.

  “What do you think you’re doing?“ she asked, crossing the room and snapping the laptop lid closed. The aroma of freshly washed, warm, moist Lexi hit him full on. God help him.

  “Checking your email.” Ian was unrepentant, speaking in a tone that gave the impression he had every right to go through her personal things.

  He frowned, noticing the marks on her body. Marks he had left in throes of passion. Had he been that rough with her? He hadn’t meant to be. He reached up to touch one along the back of her shoulder, but she quickly moved awa
y, stepping out of his reach.

  Her eyes narrowed, all traces of whatever had spooked her gone. “And you thought I would be okay with that why?”

  He gave her a roguish grin, putting up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “It’s your fault. You left me out here all alone. You were practically begging me to find something to keep myself busy. I guess I could have followed you into the shower instead. That certainly would have been more fun, though far less informative.”

  An instant flush appeared above the towel, rising up the slim column of her neck and into her face. Ian spotted the lovely coloring and felt himself harden even more. She placed her notebook on the other side of the room and opened her suitcase, searching for something to wear. Ian frowned. He liked seeing her in his shirt. He unbuttoned the one he was wearing and held it out to her.

  “He certainly sends you a lot of email.”

  “Who?” she asked, eyeing his shirt as if she just might take it. He really liked the way she was glancing at his chest, too, and the way it seemed to drive the thought of any other man out of her mind.

  “Aidan.”

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but Aidan is my .... boss.”

  Ian shrugged, as if the information meant nothing to him, but her hesitation bothered him. A lot. Of course by now he knew everything there was to know about Aidan Harrison, including the fact that he didn’t want him anywhere near Lexi again. Ever.

  Ian wasn’t quite sure how he was going to swing that one, considering that she was the head chef of Harrison’s most successful restaurant chain, but he would figure out something. So far he had fearlessness and resourcefulness going for him. Why not a little cleverness as well?

  Lexi stared hard into the small closet. “You went through my stuff?” she said in disbelief.

  Ian shrugged again, his eyes mischievous. He’d deliberately left things in different positions, wondering if she would notice. She did. “I was bored.”

  She was sexy when she was riled. Her chest heaved, her eyes glowed, and her perfect skin turned the most beautiful shade of peachy pink. Her eyes went from him to the Salienne Dulcette erotic romance novel on the bed next to him and she scowled. Beautiful.

  “So why won’t you sleep with him?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Your boss, Aidan. Why won’t you sleep with him? Is he ugly or something? Old? Great big warts and age spots? Maybe he has a tiny little - ” Ian held up his thumb and index finger about an inch apart from each other.

  * * *

  “For your information, Aidan is young, gorgeous and incredibly sexy. Not to mention extremely wealthy and brilliant.” Which was all true, but it didn’t matter, not to her. Because Aidan was not Ian. But Ian didn’t have to know that. “And what makes you think I’m not sleeping with him?”

  Ian flashed a smile, showing nearly every one of his perfect white teeth. “Because if you were sleeping with him, he wouldn’t dare let you out of his sight and anywhere near the likes of someone like me. He’d be here right now, pleasuring you, ravaging your perfect body over and over again until you were too exhausted to even scream his name.”

  Her breath caught, just a little. Warm, moist heat pooled between her thighs. Her breasts grew instantly full and heavy, aching for his hands to cradle them. Then Ian was behind her, sending exciting little shudders up and down her spine.

  “At least that’s what I’d be doing,” he added softly, releasing her hair from the towel, gently pulling the damp strands through his fingers. “If I was sleeping with you.”

  His fingers skimmed the tops of her shoulders, feathering down her arms. Despite the warmth of the room goose bumps began forming along her skin. She shuddered, her nipples growing harder, nerves firing from the tips of her toes to the base of her skull. Even the slight rasp of the terry towel had her practically moaning with need. How did he do that? How did he render her totally helpless with a few whispered words and a gentle caress?

  Lexi fought for self-control as her traitorous body wanted nothing except to melt into him. “Ian,” she moaned, hating the desperation she heard in her voice. The stark, raw hunger that consumed her whenever he touched her, spoke to her, looked at her.

  Everyone said it had been a crush. Puppy love. But she knew better. Ian Callaghan was the only man she would ever want; the only man she would ever love. Her feelings had only grown stronger with time and distance, to the point where they were terrifying. There was nothing she would not do for him if he asked it of her. She could never tell him no.

  Had Ian felt the same, it would have been a match made in and blessed by Heaven itself. Two people so desperately in love could be nothing less, the stuff of ageless legends.

  Lexi had been drawn to Ian from the very first time she’d seen him. Over time, she began to realize that what she was feeling was not an infatuation, not a silly crush. It was so much stronger, so much deeper than anything she’d ever felt before. So much so that she had never been able to give herself to another. The only man she had ever wanted, ever needed, was seducing her with his voice, his touch, his very presence. And therein lay the problem.

  Unbidden, Kayla’s voice echoed in her head. But then again, I got what you really wanted, didn’t I? See princess? He still wants me.

  Visions began slamming into her, one after the other as Kayla’s words repeated over and over in a vicious loop: Ian beside Kayla in front of the casket. By her side in the church. At the cemetery. Kayla’s arms wrapped around him as he practically carried her out of the wake.

  In each one, Ian was exactly where a man should be for a woman he cared about at a time like that.

  None of the others had been so supportive.

  Only Ian.

  And that entire day, Ian had said not one word to her. He had gone out of his way to avoid her, in fact.

  Oh, she’d seen him glancing over at her occasionally. Surely it had been quite a shock when he realized who she was. She couldn’t blame him for being angry, for pretending not to know her under the circumstances. It was a sleazy move on her part, and she sure as hell would have been upset had their places been reversed. But that didn’t explain why he was here now, running the pads of his sinfully skilled fingers up and down her arms and giving her chills while a fire burned inside her.

  The way he touched her, with so much tenderness and passion, had her doubting herself. Had he not been at Kayla’s side all that day, Lexi might actually believe Ian felt something for her. But he had been. She had seen it herself. Even Kieran had confirmed that they were still together when she’d asked. And ten years was a long time. There were plenty of marriages that didn’t last that long.

  But God, she loved him so much it hurt. Ian wanted her - that much she could tell easily from the shaft of pure steel pressing into her back. But was it enough? Could she be his secret mistress, the one he came to under cloak of darkness to fulfill her fantasies, only to have him leave again in the morning to return to another? A crushing band tightened around her chest making it difficult to breathe, because part of her screamed Yes!

  Yet another part of her, the part that had taken her to Benton and saw her through her day to day existence, simply said, No. Not in the desperate, clawing voice of the other, but calmly, objectively.

  And she knew which voice she should be listening to.

  “Is that how you are with Kayla then?” Somehow the words made it past the closure in her throat, even as her heart reached up to pull them back down.

  Ian’s hands stilled. She felt him tense, felt the power accumulating around him, like an encroaching darkness.

  “No.” The word was clipped. Sharp. Like a falling axe.

  She moved out of his arms, and it was one of the hardest things she had ever done.

  Ian ran his hand through his hair, leaving some parts sticking out at odd angles. The look on his face was pained. “Lexi, you need to understand –“

  She broke him off immediately. “Don’t worry, Ian. I won’t tell on you.” He
r voice was strangely hollow and removed, speaking from her mind and not from her heart. It sounded as wrong as it felt.

  “Though it is strangely tempting. I imagine it would drive Kayla over the edge to know that you slept with me, of all people.”

  His pained expression gave way to disbelief. “Is that why you ...?” he began, shaking his head. “Revenge? You thought you’d hurt her, like she hurt you?”

  “Of course not,” she snapped, insulted that he would even think her capable of such a thing. “How could I possibly know you two would still be together after ten years?”

  Ian winced. Lexi hated saying anything that hurt him, but sometimes the truth was painful. She tried to soften the blow a little. “What happened between us had absolutely nothing to do with her.”

  “And what exactly happened between us, Lexi?” he asked quietly. “Please,” he coaxed. “Explain it to me.”

  Everything drained out of her then. All of the fight, all of the anger, leaving nothing but a soul-deep ache in its place. What was she fighting for anyway? She was in town for what, a few days? Kayla lived here, and had both a past and a present with Ian. How could she hope to compete with that?

  “Fulfillment of a young, foolish girl’s fantasy,” she said, suddenly sounding very weary as she sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry, Ian. I should have told you who I was before...” The words trailed off, unnecessary.

  “Why didn’t you?” he asked, repeating the same question he’d asked only that morning. Had it really only been this morning? It felt like half of a lifetime had passed between then and now.

  “Because I ...” She drew in a shaky breath, unable to look at him, feeling more ashamed by the moment. She couldn’t answer him, not truthfully, because to do so would be to bare her soul, to open a hole into her heart so big it would suck whatever little remained of her down into it.

  “I’m so sorry.” She whispered the words, trying valiantly not to cry and embarrass herself further. She was failing miserably. Huge crystalline drops trailed down her face onto her lap, absorbing immediately into the towel, but not before he’d seen them. Her shoulders were hunched in, her arms wrapped around herself as if she could protect herself.