While she appreciated that he had come, her mind was already made up. She was leaving Pine Ridge tomorrow and not looking back. She was going to place a call to the lawyer’s office first thing in the morning and ask him to draw up whatever papers were necessary to sign the house over to Jack Callaghan. He could do with it whatever he wanted.
“What the hell were you thinking, Lex?” Kieran asked. His voice was far too quiet, far too controlled to be good. Oh, he was angry. Really angry. Taryn must have told him what happened. While Taryn hadn’t understood the severity of Lexi’s mishap, Kieran certainly would, and did, if the fury in his eyes was any indication.
“Put me down, Kieran,” Lexi said resignedly. “I’m not your new bath toy.”
Normally Kieran would have grinned and shot a smart-ass comment right back at her, but he didn’t. His face was somber, his eyes deep and probing. He didn’t even seem to notice that she was dripping all over him. Lexi felt the unwelcome stares of a few curious onlookers. Not wanting to give them anything more to gawk at, she said, “Seriously, Kier, let me down. You’re giving me a major wedgie, and that perv over there is getting a little too much enjoyment out of it.”
Kieran’s eyes flashed to the far side of the pool where a man was sitting, towel in lap, watching the scene with great interest. With a warning look that could strip paint and a low level growl from Kieran, the man suddenly gathered his things and left in a hurry.
“If I let you down, will you walk quietly back to your room with me?”
“No.”
“Doesn’t give me much incentive, then, does it?” Kieran said, taking the choice from her and hefting Lexi one-handedly over his shoulder. Quickly grabbing a towel, he draped it over her rear end. Ignoring the stares of anyone they passed, Kieran took the steps toward the third floor.
She sighed heavily, letting him carry her. There wasn’t really much she could do about it anyway. Very little could stop Kieran when he was in one of his overprotective snits. The best thing to do was to just go with it and wait it out until he started thinking like a rational human being again.
Kieran worried about her so much. It was yet another reason why she needed to leave. It would be better for everyone. As long as she was around, he would feel the need to protect her. Kieran deserved better than that. They all did.
Kieran wouldn’t want to hear any of those things. He’d try to convince her that she belonged here. But he was wrong. She should never have come back, never should have put herself in a position to be around them again. It was time for her to return to her familiar, steady job in her private, solitary apartment, interacting on an impersonal and as-needed basis with those around her. It worked for her. And God knows, it had to be better for them, too.
Arguing the evening away with Kieran didn’t fit into her plans. Somehow she needed to find the strength to get through the rest of the day with as little strife as possible until she boarded the Greyhound tomorrow.
He dropped her unceremoniously on the bed, then began pacing in front of her. “Jesus, Lex. What the hell happened?”
“Don’t start with me, Kier,” she warned, walking away from him. “I just don’t have the strength.”
“Good. That means you’re not going to give me a hard time.”
Lexi didn’t respond, instead grabbing a few things from her suitcase and disappearing into the bathroom. She re-emerged a few minutes later, scrubbing at her hair with a towel and wearing something he was sure to recognize: his old football jersey from high school. It still hung halfway to her knees.
“Jesus!” he said when he saw it. “You still have that?!” His face lit up like a kid’s on Christmas morning.
“Of course,” she said, glad that he seemed to be breathing easier. “I have it with me always. This shirt has travelled the world, Kieran. At least twice.” She laughed, giving him a good look up and down. “Bet you didn’t know you’ve been sleeping with me all this time, huh.”
“Jesus Christ, Lex,” he sputtered, turning beet red. “That is wrong on so many levels. You know that, don’t you?”
She laughed softly and punched him in the arm. It was like hitting a brick wall. “Yeah, I know. But you should see the look on your face right now.”
“Not funny, Lex. You know you’re like my little sister, right?”
“I’m older than you,” she reminded him.
“By what, a month?”
“Doesn’t matter. Still older. Respect your elders, and all that.”
His smile faded somewhat when he saw her extract a small kit from her makeup bag. “Still have to do that, huh?”
She gave him a reassuring smile as she filled the syringe. Kieran was one of the few who knew her dark secret. “Yeah. Sucks, right?” She pushed the plunger to clear the syringe of air, then turned away from him and slid the needle into the fleshy part of her thigh with little more than a slight hiss. “You’d think with all the things they could do today I wouldn’t have to.”
He picked up the empty vial, frowning when he saw the dosage. “It’s worse, isn’t it?”
Lexi plucked the vial from his hand, tossing it back into her bag. She never left empties behind.
“You worry too much.” It was worse, but he didn’t need to know that.
“What happened at the Pub, Lex?”
“Taryn didn’t tell you?”
Kieran shook his head. “No. She just said you weren’t feeling well and came back to the hotel to lay down for a while. But I knew better.” His tone was so serious, his expression so earnest. She knew he was thinking about all the times she’d needed his help when they were younger. Honestly, she didn’t know what she would have done without him. He pointed to the wrap around her hand. “Come on, let’s see.”
“It’s nothing. A little cut, that’s all.”
“Damn it, Lex. A little cut can kill you.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” she snapped, her voice rising. “Don’t you think I live with that little knowledge every fucking day of my life? I know what I am.”
At her uncharacteristic use of vulgar language, Kieran stopped dead in his tracks. He swept his hand through his hair, messing it up and reminding her of the awkward fourteen year-old he had once been. The worry, the pain in his eyes was killing her. “Damn it, Lex. I’m sorry.”
She nodded, but couldn’t help the tears that fell. She was becoming such a cry baby.
“Ah, hell, don’t cry,” he said, going to his knees in front of her. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m alright,” she sniffled, trying to wave him away. “It’s just been a tough couple of days.”
Kieran ignored her protest and pulled her into his arms anyway. “God, you’re such a brute,” she mumbled into his chest. “Let me go.”
“Make me,” he said softly, holding her head to his chest and rocking. She didn’t bother. He was twice her size, twice her weight, and she had the feeling he needed this even more than she did.
“Kieran.” Her voice was soft, compelling. The kind of voice that calmed him almost instantly. The one that had stayed his anger more times in school than she could count. If not for her, he probably would have been expelled more than once. Everyone always assumed that he had been the one looking out for her, but it had worked both ways. If she hadn’t encouraged him to pursue martial arts, to learn the skill and discipline he needed, who knows what kind of trouble his explosive temper might have gotten him into.
He sat on the bed so she could reach his head, a silent permission for her to stroke his hair next. She did. He leaned into it and closed his eyes.
“I’m a grown woman.”
“So? That means I have to stop caring about you?”
“No, of course not. But you can’t protect me anymore.”
He sighed. “Maybe not all the time. But right here? Right now? Yes, I can.”
Lexi had been so caught up in her own problems she forgot that she wasn’t the only one who would be leaving soon. Kieran, like each of his brothers
before him, had enlisted right after high-school with the dream of becoming a Navy SEAL. That was a minimum six-year commitment, she knew, since it was all he ever talked about. It was a gift of fate that he had not been actively deployed when her father passed away, so that he could be here with her now.
A few moments passed in silence before she asked, “How much time do you have left?”
“Not much. A year and a half, two years, tops. One more round of training, one more deployment.”
“Then what?”
He gave her a crooked grin. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
“Hmmm. I think I’ve heard that before. Do all of you have that stitched on your pillows or something?”
“Yep. And you know what’s on the flip side? Take care of your own.”
“I’m not one of you, Kier.”
“Bullshit. And as long as you are in Pine Ridge, you are just going to have to deal with that.”
Lexi knew he believed that. But he would have to face the truth sooner or later.
“Well then we won’t have a problem much longer.”
Kieran looked at her then. He blinked once. Twice. “You’re leaving?”
She walked away, toward the window. Outside it was still light, though the sun was well below the buildings. Cloud cover made it a little darker than it would normally be at this time of day. A storm was brewing, and down below, she could see the streetlights just starting to come to life, people walking on the sidewalks. Some were alone. Some were holding hands or walking their dogs. So much normalcy. And here she was, always looking on from a distance. Always separate. Always apart. Never belonging.
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
She let him mull that over for a few moments. “I thought you’d stick around a little longer at least. What about your grandmother’s house?”
“I don’t belong here.”
His eyes told her he didn’t believe that for one second. “You’ll always belong here. It’s part of who you are, where you come from. And you’ve got people here who love you, who’ll take care of you.”
“Maybe I don’t want anyone to take care of me anymore, Kieran,” she said, her eyes flashing. “Maybe I don’t want to be anybody’s burden. Maybe I just want to be left alone to live my own life without everyone feeling the need to interfere.”
Lexi regretted the words the moment they were out of her mouth and she saw Kieran’s face harden. She’d hurt him. Deeply. “Kieran, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that”.
He held up his hand and stood, cutting off whatever she was going to say. “Fine. You know what? Go. Run away again. You’re really good at that. And I promise I won’t interfere anymore.”
“That’s harsh, Kier.”
He stood up, making the room seem much smaller. “No, Lexi. What’s harsh is you not giving a damn that people care about you. You think you have to do everything on your own, like some freaking martyr, leaving the rest of us feeling like we don’t even matter enough for you to care.”
“Kieran, that’s not –“
“Save it. I’m outta here.”
Yep. This day just kept getting better and better.
Chapter Fourteen
The faint glow of flickering candlelight both relieved and terrified him at the same time. Relieved, because he’d found her. Terrified, because she’d come all the way out here by herself and hadn’t told anyone. Pine Ridge wasn’t exactly a hotbed of criminal activity, but a young, beautiful, vulnerable woman like Lexi out here, alone? Ian had seen enough evil to know that even here, in this sleepy mountain valley, there was no such thing as “safe”.
Keeping his distance from her at the house that afternoon had been more difficult than he’d ever imagined. To be so close and not speak with her, touch her, kiss her – it had nearly driven him mad. At least he got to see her, though. To know that she was alright. To hope that some small opportunity would present itself that would allow him to rectify the misunderstanding between them.
Lexi was under the impression that he and Kayla had something serious between them. That was something he had to change, and soon, because he was quickly coming to realize that there was only one woman with which he wanted a future. She, and everyone else for that matter, would just have to come to grips with it.
She had looked so lost that afternoon. Oh, she’d smiled and said all the right things at the right times, but when she thought no one was watching, he saw the anguish, the sadness. Maybe he recognized it so easily because he was miserable himself and was putting up the same kind of front. One thing was clear, though. Neither one of them could keep it up for very long.
As difficult as it had been to keep his distance from her at the house, it had been even more so when she’d left with Taryn. Something had gone down, and Kieran wasn’t talking. Kieran was overprotective, sure – they all knew that. But to freak out because Lexi was picking berries?
What did Kieran know that the rest of them didn’t?
When he’d finally returned to the Pub, Lexi was gone and Taryn had been upset. Like Kieran, Taryn refused to say why. That excuse that Lexi just wasn’t feeling well was a load of total bullshit, but Jake had warned him off loud and clear when he pressed for more info. A short time later, Kieran had taken off like a bat out of hell, looking both angry and worried, presumably to see Lexi.
It was enough to send chills down Ian’s spine.
Kieran was only gone for about two hours. When he did return, he looked even worse than when he’d left. Ian overheard his clipped answers when Taryn cornered him. Yes, he’d found Lexi. Yes, she was safely at her hotel. Kieran refused to say anything else, grabbing his keys and tearing off on his Harley the way he always did when he was upset and needed some time alone.
Ian wasted no time heading out after that, leaving Jake and Taryn to tend the bar. He didn’t care who saw him, either; he was beyond that. All he knew was that he needed to see Lexi with his own eyes. Needed to know that she was safe.
It had been a shock to find her room empty, her bed completely untouched. After checking the few eateries still open at this time of night, Ian went to the only other place he could imagine her going. No matter what she said, Ian could tell she truly loved her grandmother’s house.
His approach was silent out of habit, but he wouldn’t have wanted to startle her anyway. He made a sweep around the perimeter, stopping briefly at the patch of raspberry bushes. The sweep was more for his benefit than hers. No one had probably stepped foot on this property for years, but you never knew. Ian had learned a long time ago not to trust in the innate goodness of human nature; he’d seen too much of the other side. Maybe that was one of the things that drew him to her so strongly. Lexi had a goodness, an innocence about her that was completely outside his own reality.
* * *
Lexi was in the kitchen of the old stone cottage, sitting in the large bow window seat, looking out at the moon. Her knees were drawn up to her chin, her arms wrapped loosely around her legs as she leaned against the panes, her mind millions of miles away. Several candles burned on the counters, bathing the room in a dim, warm glow.
It seemed a fitting way to spend her last night in Pine Ridge. Tomorrow she’d be gone, and she would not be coming back. Things had come full circle, in a way. It seemed appropriate that one of her last memories of this place should be the same as some of her first.
How she had loved sitting here when she was little. Back then, her grandmother had stitched a soft cushion for her, perfectly contoured to the window seat. Here she would perch for hours, reading, drawing, playing games while her Greek mother and Irish grandmother cooked or baked or quilted. It always smelled so good when they made their homemade bread, pies, and cakes. She smiled to herself. Maybe that’s where her love of cooking had begun all those years ago.
Her heart ached. How she wished they were still here. They would know what to do.
She began singing softly, the same melody
her grandmother used to sing to her all those years ago. Lexi didn’t understand all of the words, but she didn’t have to. Even back then she knew her grandmother was singing of something very special.
Once Lexi had asked her mother about the song, and her mother simply said that it was the song her husband used to sing to her back in Ireland. It was haunting, and filled with so much love that just singing it made her feel like her grandmother was right there in the room with her again. As she sang, she felt a familiar presence, and despite the torrent of emotions roiling within her, everything calmed.
* * *
Ian watched her from the doorway, listening in stunned silence as the long-forgotten melody filled his heart and soul. Lexi had a beautiful voice, low and lilting, perfect for singing ancient Irish lullabies. And he could envision it so clearly – Lexi sitting in the window, singing their child to sleep as he looked on silently...
His heart began to hammer in his chest. The image was so clear, so perfectly defined, he had to blink several times before he convinced himself it wasn’t real.
“My grandmother used to have the most beautiful lilies right outside this window,” Lexi said quietly, breaking into his vision. “Bright yellow ones, and white ones with streaks of pink in the middle. I could stare at them for hours sometimes, daydreaming that instead of flowers they were fierce dragons, and I was a fairy princess, stuck in her tower, waiting for someone to come and rescue me.”
It took him a moment to realize she was talking to him. She continued to gaze out the window, still and unmoving. Ian was sure he hadn’t made any noise, yet she had known he was there.
“Come sit with me,” she said, patting the area beside her.
Ian crossed the room silently, sitting beside her in the huge seat. He held his hand out to her. Lexi smiled at the handful of juicy black raspberries cradled in his palm, then looked directly into his eyes. In that moment, Ian felt like he had given her the moon.
First and Only: Callaghan Brothers, Book 2 Page 11
